“Lord? Saten, please, we just met and I have three guys that need to die, if you’ll excuse me…” Ralphos said, wary.

“Do you think that catgirl likes you?” Saten said that with no inflection.

Ralphos stopped a moment, he knew the answer but didn’t want to say it. Glancing at Saten, he could tell she wasn’t ordinary even though she was only a little older than him. He had met people in school like her, they looked like they were living in another world.

“She’s...just sad and lost. I’m not that good at this, but I can tell that much. All the time I spent with her, she was probably holding things in for a long time.”

“You weren’t?” She smiled.

“Ah, I’m not sure. There was things I wanted to do, girls I wanted to talk to, girls like you. Something like a Lord, that’s a little…” Ralphos trailed off.

“If you’re not enough, then why not get people to help you? That catgirl, she only has you from what the fishman said. Do you want to leave her alone?”

“Man, you are quite the good church girl, huh. I was a little aggressive when I met her. I thought she would say something, she almost killed me that morning but I don’t think it was related. I...definitely want her.” Ralphos admitted it. He wasn’t going to back down now. If there was ever a time to stand up for himself, it was now.

Saten smiled.

“You’ve got no chance. She’s only with you because she doesn’t think she has an option, you know…”, she stood up and walked towards the front of the church.

Ralphos was going to counter her, but he knew she was right. If anything, she should be far more angry at him for the way he came into this world. But, after all the violence he experienced and the shock from adjusting to a new world, there was one thing he couldn’t let go.

“Saint, lend me your power. That I may secure my catgirl. The Lordship, revenge, those all pale in comparison!” He flourished his bulletblade.

“Ah, so like a young guy, motivated only by girls. Are you coming after me next? Good luck. I’m not easy, I’ve turned down 100% of both sexes I’ll have you know,” Saten sighed, “you’re too perfect for lordship. With that weapon, even the king will have to accept you thanks to how difficult the situation has gotten. I hope you don’t mind spending some time training with me? We can’t have a weak Lord who will lose his weapon. Those three, you’ll need them on your side if you want this to work. Cruci, the respected paladin trainer. Qurbur, the master merchant who only loves money. Brutus, the slyest politician this side of the capital. None of them will go without a fight.”

Ralphos steeled his resolve. He had only one thing in mind.

It was a few weeks later. Ralphos was enjoying his time with the two far more than he thought, that night in particular. The boy bathed beaten in the bath, catgirl and saint at his sides.

“You know, guys, I uh mean gals, guys, I’m just going to use guys. At first, I was nervous. Hanging around two girls like you, I didn’t think I’d get to know you so well. And here we are, in the hot springs!” Ralphos celebrated briefly stretching his arms to the night sky. The constant fighting against Saten teaming up with Juno had broken his facade and sense of reality. Juno sighed, looking at the bags under Ralphos’s eyes.

“I wish you had that judgement on the first day we met...do you need anything, Ralphos?” She was concerned and woozy, by him naked in the water. She was exhausted as well, and was dragged into the water only out of sheer exhaustion. Ralphos put his arm around her with a dumb grin, as he had other arm was around Saten. Saten was in a towel. It was unfortunate.

“Did I go overboard? Everyone always tells me I go overboard. It’s part of the job though. I’m sorry I couldn’t teach you any magic, neither of you have much talent. It’s a shame,” Saten said with a smile. She wasn’t taking his arm off. Juno was staring at that arm from the start, confused and unwilling to say anything but her ears were back.

“Ralphos, did something happen with Saten? I was sure you spent every night near me…” She finally complained. Ralphos stared at her in surprise. His intuition and common sense was shot from the trauma, so there wasn’t much he could do in the state he was in.

“Ah, ah, you’re jealous~ I thought you were just sticking around me because you were aimless! Saten! I have my catgirl! Forget the lordship and revenge!” Ralphos cheered. Saten gave him her usual light smile.

“No, save the people and rule as lord, please. You’re easy and fun to bully, after all,” she giggled.

“Hey!”, Juno got up out of the water, the heat steaming off of her body. “I knew there was something fishy going on, you’ve messed with his mind somehow! I may not be able to stop your superior magics with my drill, but with my bodily charm I!” Juno lost her sense as well. Juno didn’t even want to go in the water, but in sheer exhaustion she had been ushered in anyways. She was purring and rubbing against Ralphos, who was petting her.

“Huh, catgirls purr. This world, it is awesome. Yes. I shall rule. But not as lord! As king!” He shot up, ‘that’ flailing. His dragon wings spread out, he noticed he finally got them to work but was too tired to care. He pointed to Saten.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

“Before that, I must conquer you…” he said as he flopped into the water headfirst, both of the girls rushing to his side in a panic. They pulled his out in alarm, and Saten made a gesture towards Ralphos’s body.

“Check him out, if he’s breathing, Juno.”

“Eh~” She whined and slid on top of him, accidentally kissing him as she fell forward. She stared at Saten with a sudden alertness about her.

“You saw nothing.” Juno was blushing. Saten rubbed Juno’s head laying chin up on Ralphos’s stomach, in dangerous proximity to ‘that’. Saten checked his breath as if nothing was amiss.

“Ah, good. Juno, you did well. Don’t cry again, okay?” Saten gave her a compassionate look.

Juno remembered back to when Saten told her she had no talent with magic. Juno knew it was true from her time with her family, but it brought her to tears anyways.

“Grandpa…” Juno whispered her wet tail darting back and forth. Her emerald eyes tightened, and looked up at Saten.

“He’s mine. This guy! He’s mine. If you want him, you’re number two!”, she pointed at Saten in anger.

“What, you think I want him? I told you already, I’m just doing my job. Any woman seems like it would be fine for this guy, being a Saint is more important to me.” Saten smiled.

“No, I saw you. You looked really happy when you were beating him up, talking to him after you beat him up, healing him after you beat him up, when you hit him with Saint’s Liner High and turned him into a star, I saw it all!”

“Well, he is surprisingly durable. ‘That’ is nice too. I don’t know, something about him, it’s like he’s a legendary monster or creature from another world.”

“He is from another world…”

“Oh. Yeah, that’s right. The fishman said that too. It’s really true?” Saten stared at Juno near ‘that’.

“He’s...I think he’s a nice guy. Probably. Just a little...he was a little much, that one time. But! He blew up a mountain then and didn’t kill me, so things are even right?”, Juno ranted.

“Right…” Saten humored her. She remembered back, thinking of her home, the trials she underwent to become a saint. Crucis, one of her admirers she rejected. Becoming a Saint was more important to her than a thing like love.  He was a good man once, in love with her and young. If he hadn’t held onto those feelings, would he have turned out this way? She smiled, thinking of the fight to come.

“You can go if you want to, you know? You don’t have to stick around this guy. I know you don’t have anyone else, but after watching you try that hard, and failing, I wanted something better for you,” Saten said. Juno knocked away the hand on her head, grabbed a nearby towel and stood up.

“You think I’m staying with him for him? The old...Ralphos, the Ralphos now, it doesn’t matter. He’s my home. I’m not letting him go anywhere.”

“Oh! So you can have a face like that. I thought you were a weak girl. I’m sorry. Your appearance is deceiving. If you ever have trouble with him again, I’m here, you know?”

“I trust you about as far as I can kill you. It’s not much right now. Do whatever you want with him, but take him from me, and I’ll…” Juno stumbled in her mind, trying to think of what she could do.

“I’ll spread rumors you slept with a dragon!” Juno yelled triumphant. Saten only grinned.

“And what if it’s true?”

Juno went red, her white hair framing that look.

“Get away from ‘that’!”

That morning, Ralphos awoke with both of them on top of him naked. In a state between elation, confusion, and an urge to go to the bathroom he just decided to wait it out. He managed for  about ten minutes before he shrugged Juno awake. Juno half opened her eyes and moved close to Saten before resting again, her tail turning around her and her ears flattening. Ralphos threw on a robe and take a last look before heading to the toilet.

After getting dressed with the clothes he had gathered including his long battle jacket, he flipped around the bulletblade. Saten’s combat ability was far beyond theirs, but from what she had told him, she wasn’t considered a normal Saint anyways. ‘Satin’ sounded like a compliment to him, but according to her it was an insult. Any Saint as young as her wasn’t normal. She was well known for being a tough trainer. Not metering out the justice that people expected of Saint’s. Saten had said that was a necessary lie though. Had they know what she did in the war to earn that Saint title, no one would ever say anything like that about her. Ralphos stared out the window into the city of Locos. Somewhere out there, four of the strongest people in town were about to get hunted down by them.

“This world, all I’ve got are questions and two babes. I mean, that’s pretty good. Still, she wouldn’t tell me why. It’s probably something sexual. No, if it isn’t something sexual and is actually a tale of her prowess in combat, I’ll be disappointed. Wait, that would mean she wasn’t a virgin though…” Ralphos pondered the most important question in his mind. In a flash of inspiration, he got on one knee and prayed to the only god he knew that mattered.

“Oh, Escribo, you smug fishy ascott bearing bastard, tell me the secrets of this girl and how to woo her…” Ralphos prayed in a reverent tone, his coattails flat against the floor.

A fish shot in from the sky and smacked him in the face. Juno woke up in an instant and grabbed the fish leaving a note behind. She ran and put on some clothes her tail swirling, not even giving Ralphos a glance.

Ralphos steadied himself, crawling over to the note in a panic. He unfurled the fishy smelling note.

“Hello there,

It seems you’ve asked me the one question I was expecting you to ask. Naturally, I had a fish-o-gram post mailed to you from my dimension to yours in advance were this question to occur. She’s a virgin. Aren’t you glad. As for how to woo her, Juno already knows. Just ask her about Saten. She’ll get jealous, so please be considerate, as best a lout like you can.

P.S - Have fun with that fight against Cruci. He’s tough. I suggest you skip him entirely, but knowing you you’re about to go off half cocked with your bulletblade again. Just remember that I’m always right.”

Ralphos had stopped reading after he knew the most important part. He sighed.

“Now, how to tame her. If I think about this seriously, she was just beating me up for a week. But, if I back down here, then what does that say about me?”, said Ralphos to himself. He had power now, not like before. He had confidence, He had ‘that’. He had a smug fishman god thing backing him up. If he couldn’t win with these conditions, when could he win? Ralphos grinned.

“Cruci, I’ve got better things on my mind than hunting you, the lord, that genie black guy, and that british guy down. But, if it’s for Saten, for Juno’s honor, for my pride…”