Treetop Carver was loitering around the front of his den when Dawn and I passed him. I had met him shortly before, during one of Dawn's “Random Guy on the Street” introductions. He came across as a fairly carefree guy and was one of the few that it wasn't completely awkward to talk to. As we approached, the smell of cooking meat wafted in the air. The savory smell made my mouth water, as we hadn't eaten our midday meal yet. Dawn must have had the same idea, as she too drifted in his direction, even though it was a little out of the way.

"Cooking outside again today, Treetop Carver?" Dawn casually started the interaction with her hand folded behind her back, as she leaned forward at the hips.

"Yep, yep. I try to get out as much as I can these days." He turned over a piece of meat on the makeshift grill he had cobbled together. The sizzle was really getting my salivary glands kicking into overdrive.

Dawn, being less distracted than me, asked the appropriate follow-up question. "Really? What is special about 'these days.'"

"Oh, well there are a bunch of bugs in the house," he said nonchalantly. Dawn, however, reeled back.

"BUGS!?"

"Yep, they are everywhere." Well, this was interesting, I guess I have these bugs to thank for this pleasant aroma.

"By everywhere, what do you mean? Like the inside of a bee hive?" I asked.

"No, they are just all over the place. They especially like fabrics, like bedding and clothes." Bedding and clothes…

Cautiously, I asked, "And how big are they?"

"Tiny, like this big." He pinched his thumb and index finger together. "And they crawl along with these tiny little legs."

Bed bugs…

I joined Dawn in reeling back. Only I put more space between Treetop Carver and me. He looked at me confused, and even Dawn looked surprised by my response. "Are you alright indigo?"

"No. This guy’s got... BED BUGS!" How could she be so calm? This guy had bed bugs, the bane of apartment dwellers the first world over. Once one unit got infected, it was only a matter of time before the building fell to the scourge.

"Bed...Bugs?" Dawn was confused. I used the idea of beds and bugs to create the idea of a bed-dwelling insect. This of course was a novel concept for both her and Treetop Carver, who was still casually roasting his meat strips. Having now realized I was discussing this as if they had any context for the horrors of the dreaded bed bug, I calmed myself down and returned to rationality.

"I think I heard of this bed-dwelling insect that is especially problematic." Dawn was looking at me intently, she obviously didn't like bugs, and the fact that this one was worse than your standard insect, had her concerned. "Once they get into a home, they get into everything and will start getting into your clothes, and bed..." I paused to build suspense. "And ultimately on you!" She nearly fell over, like a Victorian lady hearing a curse word. "Once they have established themselves they are nearly impossible to get rid of."

"Oh, No..." Dawn coward a moment, before turning to Treetop Carver. "Why haven't you notified the Elder!?" She was back on her game in full self-rightness mode.

"Well, I didn't think they were that bad, just a little itchy. Figured they go away on their own." He scratched behind the ears, and now I couldn't help but think HE was a walking patient zero. "Also, don't know anyone who gets rid of bugs."

"Well, we need to call a village meeting!" She was taking this very seriously. "We need to figure out what to do about these bugs!"

I wasn’t sure what they could do. I guess they could just seal off the den and never use it again. If they wanted to try reclaiming it though, they could remove all the furniture and burn it. There would still be lingering remnants though... Wait a minute. Burning reminded me of something. "I have an idea."

They looked at me. "I want to make sure that these are in fact bed bugs first."

"You are going to go in there??" Dawn was worried.

She had a point, but you can’t just go prescribing remedies without a proper diagnosis. "If I scrub myself in a stream, I think I will be okay." Dawn didn't look like she approved.

"You're free to go on in." He hadn't really taken his attention off his cooking the entire time, and now that it was done, he picked up a piece of meat and was about to start eating it... but I swiped it out of his hand. "Hey!"

"Consultant's fee." Consternation clouds formed above his head, but he seemed to accept it. Shrugging it off, he reached down to grab another, only to have it snatched away by Dawn.

"Recruiter's fee."

Sweetmeat in hand, or mouth at this point. I nudged the door open a crack and peered inside. To what end, I don't know. It's not like I would see bed bugs playing cards in the dining circle. I opened the door the rest of the way and crept inside. Taking advantage of my ability to hover, I made sure not to touch any surfaces. Upon initial glance, everything seemed normal, but such was the insidious nature of the invisible invasion. With closer inspection of bedding and various nooks and crannies, it was evident that this was a full-blown occupation, and the cretins were fully entrenched.

If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

I looked over to the fireplace and was pleased to find that Treetop Carver believed in keeping plenty of firewood at the ready. With my brief scouting mission a success, I beat a hasty retreat into friendly territory.

"Yep, it's definitely bed bugs," I said as I swallowed the last bit of meat. Fearful that I might requisition more of his lunch, Treetop Carver put himself between me and his meal.

"So what is your plan, Indigo?" Dawn was ready to swing into action, but the plan was simple.

"Here is what we need to do. We need to seal all the openings, so close the door and ensure the windows are sealed off."

"Okay."

"Then we need to get a fire going." Dawn expressed shock. "In the fireplace to clarify. We will make a superheated fire and raise the temperature as high as possible."

"Is that all?" Treetop Carver was doubtful as he munched away at the seared meat.

"We will keep it that way for the rest of the day, and then we can open the door."

"I don't know Indigo... Is that really going to get rid of them?"

"I think so."

"How are we even supposed to keep the fire going if the door is sealed off?" A valid point, at least from Treetop Carver's perspective. This was a problem that I had long since discovered a solution for.

"I can sense the logs in the den and just move them over as need be." The fireplace was right next to the exterior wall and the firewood was right next to the fireplace, so it would be easy.

"You can do that?"

"Yes, I could teach you to do it too, but you would have to become my apprentice," I joked.

"Yeah, no thanks... it wouldn't be of much use as a Carver anyways." He took it as a serious statement... Sigh.

"Anyways, let's get started. Seal off the window." I commanded. "Oh, and get anything out of there that won't handle the heat well, food mostly." He got to it. Dawn and I refused to touch anything that was inside, and Dawn closely inspected the foodstuff he brought out to make sure it wasn't infected. Shortly after, the preparations were done; I got the fire started.

"You can do all this from out here?" Treetop Carver was impressed.

"I didn't know you could do that, Indigo." Dawn too.

"Well, I've had lots of practice after I found those medicinal fungi."

"That's right, I did hear about that." She looked up. "But I still don't know if this will work."

"Worst case scenario is that we waste a day." I threw more logs on the fire as I leaned against the side of the tree. "That should keep it going for a bit, in the meantime..." I looked at Treetop Carver. "We need to make sure you are thoroughly deloused!"

"...What?"

"Don't play coy, we both see you scratching." Dawn nodded her concurrence. "You are going to the river to get scrubbed, I will scrub myself down too, just in case." I was worried that even though I didn't touch anything, those nasty nats might have still jumped on me. "Dawn, could you procure him some temporary clothing for after he is deloused?"

"Wait, why can't I just use these clothes?"

"Fair question, because we will burn them on the spot."

"What!?" He was incredulous.

"Those clothes are infected. If you keep them, you will just restart the infestation."

"But..."

"No buts!" With that, I pulled him along to the nearby river. Despite his reluctance, he had to see the reason in my logic—it's not as if I could have dragged him there forcibly. Once there I made sure we were both scrubbed raw—can't take any chance. I had considered burning my clothes too, but I still had to meet with Dawn to receive the untainted garments, and I don't think she would appreciate me showing up naked. Once finished, Treetop Carver's scratching was significantly reduced.

We, and by we I meant I, though the other two stuck around, kept the fire inside the den roaring at full throttle, You could feel the heat leaking out the door, it must have been absolutely miserable in there. Good, let those loathsome creatures roast, I mused as I rapt my fingers together. Despite this, Dawn continued to express her doubts.

"Sure it's hot, but bugs are resilient."

"Well, we will find out." I was confident in my plan. When sundown came, I figured that it was time. We unsealed the door and let fresh air enter as the toasty stagnant air poured out; it smelled awful. It took a good long while for both the heat and smell to dissipate enough for us to enter, Dawn holding out until after our confirmation that the vermin had been eradicated. We shook out several articles and bed bugs fell lifelessly to the ground.

"Well, I'll be. That crazy idea of yours actually worked!" Now given that the coast was clear, Dawn gingerly stepped inside. However, after seeing the pills of dead bugs, she ran out screaming.

It would take several days to clean out all the dead bugs, but that was a problem for somebody else; Dawn probably would have helped, but bugs were apparently her kryptonite and there was no way she was going into that place. Still, Dawn was impressed.

"You know Indigo, I didn't really think that would work."

"Why wouldn't it work? I don't think anything could survive that level of heat."

"Because they are bugs!" It would seem that to Dawn, insects are creatures straight out of horror movies. "Anyways, that just goes to show you." I turned a tilted head to Dawn. "You really shouldn't be so anxious around everyone!"

I don't know about that, but it is true that with Dawn's help, I had become more confident in my dealings with the tribe.