Lilac Governess was in full storm cloud mode as she continued to rain on my parade. She wouldn't let me have fun! However, my last visit to Horizon Healer had opened my eyes to an entirely new field that I had been unconscious of, using fox magic for proprioception, or to sense material things. He had used it to see inside my body without cutting it open. He was basically an MRI machine. I had been so busy with fancy theatrics that I hadn't considered using fox magic as a sense organ.
Ironically, I was already doing this to an extent whenever I moved something. Of course, you were aware of what you were manipulating, perhaps not in minute detail and certainly without subtlety. But it was clearly possible to sense things without moving them, otherwise Horizon Healer would have broken my arm off.
Over the next week, I experimented with this concept. Thanks once again to wind magic, I had developed a subtle touch. But even still, to sense something and not disturb it was nearly impossible. In fact, I hypothesized it WAS impossible. My theory was that, just like in quantum mechanics, you cannot observe a particle without altering its state, and so too was it with fox magic. To sense something, you needed to interact with it, and that would cause a disturbance. Now you could minimize that, possibly to the point where on the macro level it would have no observable effect. This gets into the idea of "latching."
This is a term I use to describe how firmly you hold onto an object. At 100%, an object will move without any slack. This is the easiest way to use telekinesis, but it can also be the most demanding if the object is stubborn. Conversely, a lower latch will give the object more play, and at the lowest levels, might just encourage an action. For sensing, we wanted as low of a latch as we could muster, which was very difficult. Imagine trying to just barely touch the surface of a table, enough that you could feel it, but apply no actual pressure to it. Technically impossible, but you could keep reducing the pressure.
Of course, that is if you wanted to be subtle about it. If you didn't mind disturbing the object to some degree, it was much easier to use a 50% latch and use reciprocal forces to balance the motion. As you get to lower latches, 1% or less, it becomes difficult to sense the detail. To use the table analogy again, how hard would you have to push to be able to feel the texture? I guess that would depend on how well your senses were developed.
So these were the two challenges with proprioceptive fox magic: being able to achieve and sustain a very light latch and interpreting the subtle information returned. How do you practice this? Well, I started by using water. Water would betray any disturbance. So it would be impossible for me to not disturb it, but I could get good feedback on my improvement. I would put random objects, like blades of grass, leaves, rocks, and the like into a cup of water, and try to sense it while disturbing the water as little as possible.
But this got boring very quickly. While highly practical, it lacked the novelty value of playing with fire, cutting things, or flying, you know, manly pursuits. And perhaps I had been dealing with the dastardly duo and Dusty for so long, their hoodlum nature infected me a bit, like a contagion. And by that, I mean I got the idea to run my fox magic across the other children's tails and see if they would notice. Much more interesting. But let me assure you, this was strictly on the level, for research purposes only. No ulterior motives here. No sir.
My first attempts were immediately noticed, and I got told off in some form or another. This became a real problem as I ran out of students to try it on. I began to get a rap as the kid who pulls people's tails, and even Dusty took note. He must have matured a bit because he gave me this knowing smile and a thumbs-up that seemed to indicate that we were brothers in arms now. I shudder to think; What I do for science!
But the superficial cost to my reputation did yield results. By the end, the disturbance was subtle enough that most could not readily tell something uncouth was happening, usually just looking at their tails confused. However, the more astute children soon passed the word around, and I soon found myself shunned. Well, I supposed that was enough of that, just lay low for a while and let my reputation recover.
Now that I had a good grasp of scanning, it was time to pierce the veil. I had held off because I didn't want to damage any of my internal organs, but I now felt like I could pierce my own safely. I was eager to get started, and after psyching myself up, dove in... Only to find no resistance. Went through like a hot knife through butter. I guess your body doesn't resist when you do it to yourself, kind of like how you can't tickle yourself. I was disappointed, as I wanted to play with this veil concept, but still, Being able to explore my own internal anatomy was exciting.
Now I only knew the basics of human anatomy, as I wasn't in the medical field in any capacity. But I knew the major internal organs and bones. From what I could tell, Everything seemed to be organized in the same way as your standard human. The major differences consisted of accommodations for the ears, and tail. I assume some differences existed in the leg as well, to support digitigrade locomotion, but I wasn't studied enough to know in what way.
At this time I also realized that with this one simple exercise, I could treat a number of simple medical issues that would otherwise prove problematic. Constipation? Plumber on call 24/7. Kidney Stone? Not anymore! Ingrown hairs? Actually, I don't think we get ingrown hairs... But if we do, root those bad boys right out of there!
Still, all this made me even more interested in piercing the veil. Clearly, when done to yourself, your body opens the gate without question. If I wanted to feel what Horizon Healer felt, I would need a test subject—I mean research assistant. In all seriousness though, this was kind of an invasive procedure, and I would need the other person's full cooperation. Who could I ask?
"I don't know Indigo, that seems a little bit..." Dawn struggled to find the right sentiment to describe her hesitation.
"It will be fine. Horizon Healer did it and I'm fine." I tried to assuage her concerns.
"Yeah, but he is a HEALER, and you... are not."
"Nothing bad could happen, I've been doing it to myself, and I'm just fine."
"Then why do you need me?"
"Because I want to feel what it's like to pierce the veil." I think she was frowning under the mask.
"That's just it. It feels to me like ‘piercing the veil’ is not something that should be done lightly."
"But even a Healer had to practice before they became a Healer."
"I'm sorry Indigo... I just can't." My posture slumped a little.
"It was my request. No need to be sorry." I said that, but I was disappointed. But I still had one other person I could ask.
It was the first true winter day, and there was snow on the ground when I got the chance to ask River for assistance with my current project. The Kite's Klub (TM Pending) had ventured out to a nearby meadow so that the children could frolic in the newly fallen snow, which seemed to be something of a custom here. The Sun was in full force and its warming rays were pleasant on the skin and countered the cold air.
"You want to pierce my veil?" I swear, that doesn't sound nearly as pervy in telepathy as it sounds in English!
"Yes."
"I can't say I know what this 'veil' is." She crossed her arms, perhaps a bit frustrated that she didn't know.
"It is the body's innate defense from fox magic entering your body."
"Then why would you want to pierce it? Isn't that harmful?"
"Well, if it is nefarious. In the same way you can punch someone in the face, you can also pat someone's head. Only the veil prevents both, just to be safe."
"So what would you need me to do?" She seemed like she was game.
"Well, my understanding is that unless the person lets someone pass their veil, it is impossible." That's what Horizon Healer had implied at least. "When Horizon Healer did it, he just had me relax, or something like that. It's weird."
"Okay, have at it! What do you want me to do?" Unlike Dawn, River didn't seem to think it was a big deal.
"First, don't do anything special. That way I can see what it is like when the veil is in full force." With that, I began the prob. I chose her arm for this experiment, which seemed like a non-invasive area. Upon making contact with the arm, I found my ability to extend my intention completely blocked. At the time, I had no latch engaged, so I wouldn't have been able to sense the arm, if not for my intention being impeded; it was jarring. It only lasted a moment though, as she quickly pulled her arm away.
"What was that!?" She was alarmed. "That felt really weird..."
"Really, What did it feel like?"
"I don't know... Kind of like touching something hot, but if it wasn't hot." I scrunched my face in confusion. What did that mean?
"Can you not jerk your arm away?"
"Mmm, I can try..." She hesitantly pinned her arm on the ground. A bit extreme I thought.
"Okay, let's try again." I once again reached out and met the resistance. My intention would slip off the veil, almost like a frictionless surface. This was strange, but it gave some insight into the nature of intention. As I continued to explore the perimeter of the veil, I found myself increasingly fixated on the phenomena. This was something completely novel. I hadn't been this drawn into my curiosity since I first discovered telekinesis. Unfortunately, because of this, I was blind to the River’s growing discomfort…
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
"Alright, now let's try to pierce the veil. I think you just need to relax," I said without taking my attention off probing the veil.
"I don't know Indigo... I don't think I can."
"That's okay, just try your best."
"...Alright." I began to try and push past the veil. The slippery nature made it difficult, but I could feel it giving a little where before it didn't.
"Okay, just try and relax a little more." I began to push the initiative a little more.
"Indigo, I think we should—" I felt like I was just about through, just one final push was needed, but then…
"!!!" A powerful sense of alarm, anxiety, and danger rang out from River, and I was forcefully ejected. So forcefully, that it almost physically knocked me over. It was only then that I came to my senses and realized I had gone too far.
River, having fallen back herself, just looked at me propping herself up on her elbows with her body splayed out leaning away. She was upset and a little anxious, though the feeling didn't have a particular target. "A—Are you okay?" I asked. I didn't think I had caused her any physical harm, but clearly, I had caused her emotional distress. I reached my arm out to her, but…
"I got to go." She quickly got up and ran off, leaving me reaching for air, her hurried footprints beating a hasty retreat in the snow. Damn... This was bad.
After this incident, I was in no mood to do anything but ruminate about what had happened. I recalled my own experience with having my veil pierced. Now that I was melancholy, I was prepared to give my experience full weight, which I had previously failed to inspect. Dawn was right, I shouldn't have taken piercing the veil so lightly. Horizon Healer was a professional and even he had some difficulty doing it.
Furthermore, he employed a number of techniques to facilitate it. For starters, there was a sweet lavender aroma in the air, and I'm sure that wasn't an accident. It only made sense to use incense that relaxed people in a medical setting. Furthermore, relaxation was the key, but he didn't just tell me to relax, he made me relax using various methods. For one, his personality changed to be more empathic; I felt like in those moments he really cared for me. I, on the other hand, was completely self-absorbed. He also said a lot of things to make me feel like I was safe. It was strange, but when someone tries to pierce the veil, it is very alarming and your rationality goes out the window. But Horizon Healer's reassuring words helped put my limbic system at ease. All I did was dismiss her concerns. Because of these and probably the fact that he was also a medic, he felt trustworthy, and I could relax even though the natural instinct would be to do anything but. I should have given Dawn's words more consideration…
"How could you do that to her?!" Dawn shouted, not bothering to use the Whisper. I looked away, unable to find anything suitable to say in response. "She was very distraught!" She kept hammering away at the stake in my heart. "Well? What do you have to save for yourself?" She stared at me, clearly demanding a response. What did she want me to say?
"I feel bad enough as it is. It's not like I have any justification or anything."
"Then why did you do it?"
"I just wanted to feel what it was like to pierce the veil. I didn't think much of it at the time, it didn't seem like anything bad could happen." As Dawn's Friend, I supposed she was owed an explanation, and... maybe I needed to get it off my chest as well. "I get too caught up in my experiments sometimes, I block out what is happening around me, or rather I don't put much weight on it. I didn't think much of River's concerns until it was too late." I could see Dawn listening intently to my words and turning them over, like a judge considering the evidence.
"I told you that it was a bad idea. Why didn't you listen to me?"
"Well..." It just occurred to me that she was not just upset that I had done wrong by River, but also because I had disregarded her input. It's not that I disrespect her or anything, but it is still the input of a 9-year-old girl, hardly sage advice, but... "Look, you were right. I shouldn't have taken ‘piercing the veil’ lightly. I was far too cavalier in my approach and hurt River because of my foolishness." Having spit that up, I felt the full weight of my offense.
Dawn's hard stance softened. "If you see that, then there is one thing you have to do." I looked at her expectantly. "You need to apologize to River."
"I would, but I haven't seen her in days..."
"Well of course. You committed the transgression, so you need to put in the effort and make it right." Strange, she sounded wiser than a 9-year-old girl.
Several more days passed and there was no sign of River. I wasn't surprised and hadn't expected her to show. Instead, I had been planning on how to make my escape. This wasn't something that Lilac Governess was actively on the lookout for, but seeing as there was only one door to the den and it was in plain view to everyone in that den. It would be hard to just walk on out of it. Sure, you could come up with a number of reasons to excuse yourself, first and foremost being to use the sky-shitter. However, I needed to leave when I was sure she would be there. That meant at night, where you were assumed to have taken care of your business in advance. Barring an emergency, you wouldn't be permitted to leave. So all I needed was an emergency.
"Miss Lilac Governess, I don't feel so well." And it was true, I didn't.
"What is it, Indigo?" She looked over at me. She was making the final preparations before bed.
"My stomach is upset."
"Do you think you will—" Her thoughts were cut off by me vomiting onto the floor. I felt a bit guilty knowing it was coming, and having ample time to procure a bucket, but puking into a bucket would lack the dramatic effect. Lilac Governess was quick to jump into action, grabbing me and taking me out the door and to the edge of the platform, where I continued to expel the contents of my stomach.
After a while, "Do you think you—" cut off by another round of vomiting.
"I think I might be here for a while, You don't have to wait for me..." She seemed hesitant to leave me. "Sorry about the mess I made inside, I hope it doesn't sink into the floor..." Her body stiffened.
"...Will you be alright?"
"I'll be alright."
"Okay..." She cast one last worried glance before hurrying back into the den. Sorry Lilac Governess, but I needed to leave the den when I was sure River would be home.
My escape plan wasn't exactly elaborate. I had merely grabbed some plants I was sure would make me nauseous while not killing me, and eaten them just prior to the events I have just told. The main drawback to this plan was that my stomach now felt like it was being ripped out with a meat hook. Still, I considered it penance for my sins.
I made my way to River's house, clutching my sides and hugging the parameter, ejecting bile sporadically—the taste was foul. Dawn had given me the directions on the day of our discussion. The trick was arriving while River was there. She was an active person, so I doubt she would have been in most of the day, but she had to come back to sleep... I hoped.
The place wasn't the easiest to find. This is true for any of the residences you don't know, as there are no identifying marks on the doors. In a small tribe like this, it was unnecessary. Unless you hadn't gotten to know all your neighbors yet. Needless to say, I managed to find it, using the weaving equipment visible from the window, that denoted her mother's trade, for verification.
I knocked on the door. Usually, you would call out the name of the person you were calling on, directing the broadcast in the general direction of the home. However, I didn't know her mother's name, and I was too anxious to call for River directly. I hoped a knock would suffice.
A full-sized adult opened the door, looking in confusion both left and right before looking down and noticing me. Startled, she fell back just a little. "And who might you be? Aren't you a little young to be out by yourself?" She paused for a moment. "Wait. Are you Indigo?"
"Umm, yes." I was nervous. This must be what it is like when you come calling to a girl's house and her father answers the door with a shotgun. Odd, thanks to the nausea, I wasn't able to fully appreciate just how scared I was. "Is River home?"
"River?" Did she know what happened? I felt the hook in my stomach give an extra tug. "I believe so..." She looked into the den, it should be obvious if she was there. After a moment, "She says she will be out in a moment." Her mother went back in, and true to her word, River emerged after a moment.
"Indigo, what are you doing here?" She clearly had not expected a visit from me.
"Dawn told me where you live."
"I don't mean that! Lilac Governess, how did you get past her?" Was that her chief question?
My stomach groaned in pain. "I made myself sick," I struggled to say as I held my abdomen.
"Why would you go to such lengths?" She had gotten over the shock of seeing me and was reverting back to more of her usual self.
"I'm sorry, River." I just blurted out. I don't think it was going to get less awkward than that.
She canted her head, "Why are you apologizing?" Why? Seemed like there was an obvious answer, did she want me to enumerate my offense?
"For the same reason you have been avoiding me." Confused, she paused for a moment but then looked away. Through the mask, I was sure she had a pained expression.
"I'm sorry, I didn't listen to your concerns and pushed ahead despite your discomfort. I was only thinking about my own curiosity, and in my selfishness, I harmed my dear friend. I can get so caught up in experiments that the rest of the world ceases to exist, it has gotten me into trouble a number of times, however, my mistakes only ever resulted in problems for me, but this time... I harmed you... I'm sorry." Once I started the word just poured out. I tried my best not to cry—real men don't cry, but I'm sure a tear or two slipped through.
River turned her head back to face me and lifted up her mask. Tears were welling in her eyes as well, but she seemed to be of the same mind as me. Even still, A fragile smile crept across her face. She placed a hand on my head and rubbed it. "You did nothing wrong, Indigo. I agreed to it. You shouldn't beat yourself up over it." I think she might have let a sniffle escape, but I would keep her secret. "Still, for some reason, I feel relieved. Thank you for coming." At this, I couldn't help but hug her tight. She stroked my back. "You should get back before Lilac Governess gets wise."
"Will you come visit tomorrow?" Damn... I sounded just like a child. How unbecoming.
"Of course!" She said with a wide grin.