“I Love you Lorelai Hopper. Let’s get married.
Once i said those words, i felt a wrenching feeling in the bowl of my stomach. Like something within me was constricting myself from the insides, making its way up to my heart, making my heart race faster than ever before.
I felt the sweat accumulating on my back and my thoughts coming to a screeching halt. All i could feel and see was my own nervousness and the sight of Lorelai being dumbstruck to what i just said.
She stood frozen in her place, making no apparent movement with even her sunshine like smile replaced with a look of shock and confusion. The atmosphere soon turned weird between us. The subtle chilliness in the air made its presence even more known in the situation.
If it was any other time, i would have backtracked my words. Said things like i made a mistake or it was a slip of the tongue, or even apologized for being impulsive. But no, i say no. I firmed my will even more and stood straight to peer into her pearly blue eyes.
I took a knee, lowering myself bit by bit, yet it felt like i was lowering myself for an eternity but in a few seconds, i managed to do it. With my body lowered and my knee bent, i once again asked.
“Lorelai Hopper, will you marry me?”
I reached out my hand in a gentle manner, like gentlemen asking for a dance from a lady and in this situation. I was intending to ask for a dance that will last throughout our lifetime.
Keeping my head down and my arm reaching forward for her hand, i waited. I waited for the answer to my dying question, yet in that moment i won’t deny the nervousness that was welling up within me.
There was no doubt to it that the question i was asking was too fast. Some might say that i was being too forward, and that i was rushing things. Others would say that i could have at least gotten a ring to propose.
Yet all i can say to these people is, Fuck off.
Indeed, i might be rushing things and yes it is true that i could have gotten a ring, but there couldn’t have been more of a perfect time. Our parents were already discussing marriage venues for some odd reason but, it couldn’t have been more of a perfect time.
Throughout dating Lorelai, i have come to realize that the way i feel about her has transcended the word ‘Like’. It had gone beyond the realms of liking a person, for there is only one word to describe this. Another question i have pondered ever since i met Lorelai.
And it is Love.
Throughout my quest to find an answer, there have been mazes to it, doors opening to god knows where and paths leading to lives i could never imagine. Yet in my quest to find this answer, what i found was not an answer, no.
It was a person. Love was a person. And that person is Lorelai.
I searched high and low for the most complicated and profound solution to my problem. But it was, in fact, a very simple solution to my problem, and it wasn’t an ‘it’. it was a ‘She’. And she was Lorelai.
There couldn’t have been more of a clear answer.
She taught me what love is, she taught me how to love a person, and she taught me what it means to love a person. She has showed me a world that belonged to us, our own little world. Thus i want to spend the rest of my life with her in our own little world.
With my head lowered, I cannot see what sort of expression Lorelai was making but i still felt hopeful, hopeful to the fact that she may have agreed to spend the rest of my life with me. For i cannot imagine a life without her anymore.
She placed her hand in my palms, i felt the softness of her skin and the gentleness of her kind nature through her hands. So this is it,, huh.
“Malik…”
Lorelai said with a hint of softness in her voice. Yet mixed into it was a sort of sadness. I felt my heart drop to the ground, feeling the weakness in my knee as my lowered body wobbled in place. What do I do?
…
It was a day like any other day. The sun was somewhat shining, and the new reported that the weather will be b mild today. I grab my backpack and pack up my things, getting ready to go to school.
I open the door and make my way downstairs. Gazing towards the kitchen, i saw that Mom was preparing breakfast, and for some reason she was making my favorite ham and cheese burger for breakfasts with a side of apple of juice.
“Malik, come have breakfast.”
Responding with an okay, i go sit down at one of the chairs in the dinner table. What is displayed before me was the faint sizzling of the burger, its aromatic scent wafting through the air, so much so that it was enough almost for me to taste it through the air. It may be filled with unhealthy carbs, but hey, I’m not dumb enough to deny a good burger.
“Thanks Mom.”
Thanking her as I chomped down into the burger, its taste assaulting my tongue and with my taste buds going into full gear. I tasted the meat coming down on my taste buds, feeling the tenderness of it as it slides into my throat.
The sudden mouthful of delicious food almost took my breath away, making me drink the fresh Apply juice. I felt the taste of it whirling inside my mouth, my taste buds showing overwhelming glee as if it had sentience.
Cooling myself and making sure that i didn’t die via death by burger, i continued ravaging the burger mom made and after a while, there was nothing left of the plate in front of me. I patted my stomach and gave a subtle bird as I drank the remaining contents of the apple juice. Best breakfast ever.
“That was the best burger ever, Mom.”
“Sure is, honey.”
My mom said as she grinned. She came forward and gave me a few pats on the head.
“Its gonna be okay, Malik, you can do it next time.”
She smiled,, but I said nothing. I kept my head lowered as mom reminded me what on what happened in the afternoon. It was still crystal clear what she said on that day, and to this moment it still gave me an overwhelming feeling i cannot understand.
Mom ruffled my hair one last time as she left and went to work. I continued sitting silently in a now empty room. Lifting my head up, i look beside me and notice that no one was there. Lorelai wasn’t there.
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
With both of my hands, i slap myself, focusing on other matters to attend to. There is still some unfinished business i haven’t done yet. Jobs not done. I sit up and ready myself to go to school. There was still something i needed to prepare in school. Now was the best time when Lorelai was gone.
I made my way to the bus stop, just in time when i saw that the school bus was arriving. The bus pulled a stop in front me of me and its doors opened. I walked in and the moment my presence was known, everybody on the bus looked at me.
Instead of feeling gazes mixed with insult and confusion, there was only one type of gaze i felt and it was mockery. i felt it in their eyes as no words were needed, their eyes lay hint to a hint of mockery. Mockery of the fact that Lorelai was not with me.
Ignoring their gazes, i look for my usual seat. Finding it i made my way there and sat down. But today i had no one to talk to. I had no one to spend the bus ride with. Lorelai was not in her usual seat, for there was only me.
Paying no mind to her absence, i pulled out earphones from my backpack and put on a song. It was a song that me and Lorelai have loved together.
‘La leçon particulière’ from the movie of the same name. Once we heard the song, we both fell in love with it at the same time and from then, we listened to it over and over again on the bus ride. There was never a moment we both got sick of it. With our hands intertwined, we leaned against each other head as we listened to it on Loop.
The routine was the same for a few months now, but now, Lorelai wasn’t here. She wasn’t here to listen to it with me. So i will listen to it with I as her representative.
After a while, the bus stopped, and its doors opened. Getting up but not removing my earphones, i got out and made my way to the homeroom. I need to talk with Neil and Ace about something.
The 1st requirement of my plan, the USB, was acquired. And because of a stroke of luck and a little of hardware from me. I managed to get the 2nd thing needed for the plan, and it ensures that failure was no longer an outcome needed to be worried about.
But of course I’m not an idiot, i still made backup plans in case things go south and fail. No matter how small the chances were, plans were never absolute in the first place and i sure as hell won’t be arrogant enough to think that my plan was absolute. There was no such thing.
Walking through the busy crowd of students, going to and fro to various classrooms while some people were running away from bullies, and some were beating back the bullies. Another normal day at Riverview Highschool.
Arriving at the front door to my class, i open it and once again. They directed various gazes at me and from what i can tell, there wasn’t just mockery in their eyes. Some were filled with pity and some were gazes filled with kindness.
Of course, the gazes that were kind were from Neil and Ace. And despite Ace being the usual stoic as he is, i can judge from his eyes that there was some actual feeling and tenderness involved.
I ignored the various gazes directed at me and sat down in my chair. Neil and Ace pulled up to me and started asking various questions. Neil came beside me with his hands slung over my shoulder and whispered.
“So Malik, where’s Lorelai?”
Making eye contact with Neil, i gave a helpless smile and said nothing. It was best that no one should know where she is and heck, even I have some clue where she is right now.
“Sorry dude, can’t tell you.”
Neil said nothing and backed off. He grinned from ear to ear and continued his barrage of questions to me, ignoring his previous query as if it didn’t exist.
“So when is it?”
“When is what?”
“Don't play dumb with me, Malik, i know.”
Neil said with a cheeky smile on his face. He was giving a look that seemed to say, ‘I know everything, so spill it. There is no point in hiding anything in front of the great Neil.’
The first part of it i guessed from what his eyes were saying, but he filled himself in with the last part by saying what he thought of in his head. This narcissistic douchebag sigh, but what are friends for noh?
“Fine, it’s tonight. And it just so happens i need your help with both of you guys.”
Neil and Ace gave me a quizzical look at what i said.
“So this is what you’re going to do-”
What followed was the things i needed their help with and why. After i told them my plans, they readily agreed, and we soon perfected the plan even more. Ace would give suggestions and slight tweaks to it while Neil would help with the Logical side of it. But there was one thing that still confused me.
“Um, guys, I’m confused. Why are you helping me?”
Neil and Ace looked at each other, with Neil giving a helpless grin and Ace saying nothing as he just stared into my soul. They just looked at me like i did the most ridiculous thing on earth.
“What it’s a valid question, i know you guys are my best friend but this, this is different.”
Saying so as i leaned back against my chair.
“This plan is way beyond crazy and might get us arrested. Are you guys sure you wanna follow through this with me?”
Gazing towards their eyes, silence followed, with none of them answering my question. I pull my gaze away and look down. I can do this alone and avert the possible damage if I go with this on my own. I Just-
“Shut up Malik, we are you best friends. We’re going to help one way or another.”
Neil said, interrupting my thought. I look back at them and notice the subtle grin on their faces. He makes a good point. Sighing, i said.
“Fine, but don’t blame me when things go south.”
“Okay princess, now let’s get started shall we?”
We nodded and went back to our seats. The plan will start in recess and will end in the afternoon. There were still some things we needed to set up and by then, it will already be too late.
I gaze in a certain direction and notice an empty seat. An empty seat that could only belong to a certain someone. My Special someone. I look forward and resolve myself. This will end today.
…
Recess came along and i look towards Neil and Ace. They both nodded, and we sat up and went our separate ways. Neil was going to the Social Hall to pull some favors while Ace went to plants some things in a certain place.
I walk out of the room and felt a silent gaze directed towards me. It could only be from one person, yet i ignore it. I keep going and soon i was out of the room. The students crowded the hallways, yet the gaze at the back of my head was still there, but i kept walking.
Walking far enough from the homeroom, i still felt eyes staring at me. I’m being followed, i see. I grin and keep walking to make a turn. Feeling as though the one following me also made a turn, i saw the stairway leading to the social and made a run for it.
Feeling the wind caress my face, i look back and saw that Bradley was chasing me down like a hound nearing its prey. I gave him a tender smile and made a turn once more to the left. Bradley gave chase to me, but by the time he looked at the turn i made, i was long gone.
He looked and looked at the mass of students going to and fro but i was not there. He had an anxious look on his face, like he found out something about me. It worked, i see. I brush past his shoulders, intending to go down. For a split second he looked at me but he ignored me and continued giving chase to the ghost of me.
Smirking, i walked at a leisurely pace going down the stairs. I pull back my hoodie and unzip, also removing the sunglasses i was wearing. It pays to watch that movie about magicians. It actually worked.
I fold my sunglasses and put into my pocket, making my way to another place, but as i was about to, i bump into a girl, yet it wasn’t enough for any of us to fall. I excused myself and continue walking with a subtle grin forming on my face.
…
This day wasn’t like any other day. And in not saying that because Lorelai isn't here, but I’m saying that there is a special occasion going on in the school.
“Welcome students to the 20th founding anniversary of the school.”
The principal said as he kicked started the event. Yes, today was the founding anniversary of this school and it’s not just that. It’s that a certain someone will be making a speech in front of the entire school. And a certain, more importantly someone was here to oversee it all.
Because of this day, i believe that this time was the best of time to start my plan. The worst of times would be any other day as the impact wouldn’t be that significant, but today so happens to fit all the requirements i needed for my plan.
“Today is a day of celebration, of wonder and excitement. Because today is the day Mr. Dale H. Riverview founded the school on Truth, Freedom and Justice. Against all odds, Mr. Dale Riverview created the most well-known school in the country, not just known for its football or basketball. But because he created it solely to bring prosperity to the citizens of this state and to bring the best environment for a student to grow and flourish. We are fortunate to be in the presence of Mr. Dale Riverview here today-”
The amount of horseshit the principal was saying was about to make me puke my guts out. But what he said wasn’t entirely wrong, and that is Dale H. Riverview, known for his entrepreneurial pursuits and the plethora of charities he started enough to make him a damned saint, was here. Though personally i don’t believe all that crap.
I made my way out of the social hall making sure that no one noticed me sneaking, and soon i was in the Hallway. But the supposed emptiness of it was well not empty. There was another person standing in the Hallway, looking into the event happening at the Hall.
The old man noticed my presence and turned to look at me. He gave a piercing look and made me feel as if I was naked. No secrets buried deep enough for him not to see. He opened his mouth and said in a deep, yet almost kind, voice.
“So you must be Malik.”