“John! Wake up!”
“Go away,” I mumbled as I snuggled deeper into the warmth of Su’s tits.
“John, you need to get up now,” Rhia said, more firmly this time.
“Good luck getting him out of those, Mistress. He’s been buried in them all night. I might start getting jealous soon,” Su replied. It took me a second to realize her voice was coming from behind me. I opened my eyes and glanced up, following bronzed skin until I met the purples eyes of a smiling Hannah.
“Good morning, My Lord.”
“Morning,” I said, my voice muffled in her warmth and firmness.
“I believe Mistress Rhia is in need of your company, and I’m afraid I must resume my duties.”
Reluctantly, I pulled my face out of her chest and released the hand that was firmly gripping her ass.
“This better be important, Rhia. I was having a good dream.” I glanced over at Su, who was snuggled up behind me in an equal state of undress. “A very good dream.”
“I doubt a dream could compare to last night, My Lord,” Su said, leaning over to give me a passionate good morning kiss. “I’m also quite confident that Hannah has no complaints about your gratitude for her actions in the ballroom, either.”
Hannah was blushing quite fiercely as I climbed out of bed and stretched after Su had finally pulled her tongue out of my mouth. “None at all, My Lord, Mistress Su. Should you ever wish to express your gratitude again, I would be more than willing to accept it.”
“Alright, that’s enough. Hannah, get your stuff and get out. Su, get to work on breakfast. Today may be a long day. John… put some pants on at least?” Rhia was trying to look me in the eye as she said this, but it was evident she was having trouble keeping her focus. Hannah grabbed her uniform off the floor and made for the door, glancing back quickly enough to catch my wink, then she was gone. Su gracefully slipped out of bed and also headed for the door, not bothering to pick up her uniform. Ryo trotted after her from the foot of the bed, knowing Su leaving the room in the morning meant breakfast was soon. I made my way to the bathroom to take care of my morning personals.
“We’ve got a situation on Earth that you’ll need to take a look at. I’ve got the news pulled up on the screen now. Mr. Allen doesn’t seem to be taking your decisions seriously.”
“Rhia, I think it’s great how comfortable you’ve gotten with me, and how easily my name rolls off your tongue these days. I really do. But are we really comfortable to the point where you can be so nonchalant about me taking a leak while you’re trying to brief me?”
She seemed to realize what it was I was doing and immediately turned her back to me. “It-it’s a perfectly normal bodily function. Th-there’s nothing embarrassing about it.”
I didn’t respond as I finished up, then headed over to the sink to wash up. I’d learned a while ago that I didn’t really need to do any of this thanks to my divinity, but 36 years of the same morning routine doesn’t disappear overnight. There’s also something to be said for keeping my old human habits alive and well. It reminded me of my roots and kept me from getting too full of myself with this whole godhood business. Of course, that’s not to say that being able to snap fingers and be completely dressed wasn’t a convenience. I walked out of the bathroom and joined Rhia, who’d retreated to the screen after totally not being embarrassed about watching me pee. Is this a fetish of hers? I thought.
“It is not!” she responded hysterically. “I just wasn’t paying attention! This is a big deal, you know!” She was gesturing at the screen, where President Allen was answering a question in the White House Press Room.
“So you believe this Zekken is a threat to national security, Mr. President?”
“I believe I already answered that question, Carl, but just for you, yes. After meeting with him personally, I believe this self-proclaimed god and lunatic represents a danger that we cannot underestimate. In addition to that, his declaration of godhood is a blasphemous attack against the Creator of this great nation. I would ask all of my fellow Americans to be wary of this character.”
“Hmm.” I sat on the couch, rubbing my beard in contemplation. “I’m guessing he still hasn’t described exactly how I’m a danger to the nation?”
“Not that I’ve seen, no.”
I smiled. Rhia sensed something was up, then sighed. “You’re going to go stir the pot, aren’t you?
I flashed her an even wider smile. “The trick to living a good life is having fun when you can.”
*
The room was lot smaller than I thought it would be. Sure was hot though. AC must be broken or something, so I lowered the temperature a few degrees and immediately felt more comfortable. A number of people in the room immediately noticed the drop and looked around in confusion, but I ignored them. My attention was focused on the president, who hadn’t noticed me at the back of the room yet. Granted I’d shifted back to my original body type for the time being, leaving my face the same, but adding some fake glasses. It was enough of a change to let me pass unnoticed. Bearded men were common enough, as were men with spare tires. It was doubtful anyone would recognize the god amongst them.
Another hand went up, and the president pointed at him.
“Mr. President, you’ve told us he’s a threat, but you’ve yet to tell us how he’s a threat, or how we should combat him if we need to. Would you care to elaborate?”
“Well, we believe he’s already attacked this country once.”
Oh shit, I thought. I could already see where this is going.
“It is my belief, and that of my military and spiritual advisors, that he is responsible for The Event that happened last August, resulting in the loss of over 30 million American lives.”
The room exploded. Everyone started asking questions at once. It took a few minutes, but Allen was finally able to get everyone settled down so he could speak again.
“We would very much like to arrest this man and bring him to justice for this atrocity. American justice, and the Lord’s justice.”
I managed to maintain my anger, but only just. He’d just told the world that I was responsible for all those deaths. I took a couple breaths to calm myself down and told myself that he could say whatever he wanted, because I knew the truth, and he couldn’t prove his claim. It was time to remind him of that fact.
In the next instant, I was standing next to him on the podium, back in my god body and suit. No flashy effects. To the observer, one second nothing was there, then I was.
I gave the cameras a dazzling smile and waved to everyone present.
“Good morning all! It’s so nice to meet you.” I looked down to my left and dropped an arm over his shoulder so he couldn’t get away. “Hi Brad. How’s Pam?”
The explosion of questions took a bit longer to happen than I thought it would. It had taken everyone a few seconds to register just what was happening. The roar when it finally came was deafening. This many people packed into a small room had that effect. Secret service members immediately drew their weapons and pointed them at me. A couple had tried to grab the president and pull him to safety but had bounced off a transparent bubble that surrounded us.
“Now, now,” I said. “No need to be so hasty. I have no intention of harming him. I just came to see how everyone was doing.”
One reporter finally managed to get my attention among the hubbub of the room. “Ex-excuse me, sir? Are you the man who claims to be a god? Zekken, was it?”
“Yes! That’s me. Pleased to meet you. What’s your name, sir?”
“Uh, shouldn’t God know everyone’s name?”
“Oh, I’m not that god. I’m merely a god. The newly appointed god of Earth. As such, I’m still learning the ropes and haven’t had a chance to learn the names of all seven billion people on the planet yet. I do hope you’ll forgive me?”
“Uh, well, I guess that sounds reasonable. I’m Ron Williams, with the Post. Can you confirm what the president said? Are you responsible for what happened to Texas last year?”
Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.
“I can only confirm that I was not the one responsible for that dreadful incident. If I ever meet the party responsible, though, you can rest assured that they’ll suffer divine punishment for their crimes.” The fact that he was already dead wasn’t something they were going to accept, so best to leave that alone as much as possible.
“Like we believe you actually care,” muttered the president. “You didn't lose anyone in that disaster, right, oh glorious god Zekken?”
Leaning in close, I whispered into his ear, anger seeping into my voice. “Mind your words, Mr. President. I lost more than you could possibly know in that attack, and I’ve hid it quite well from all but those closest to me. Don’t let this friendly face fool you into thinking I haven’t known suffering.” I stood back up and looked back into the crowd.
Ron the reporter kept pressing, however. “Um, we only have your word that you had nothing to do with it.”
“Right, and you only have his word that I did. The world has only known of my existence for a day, and yet, somehow, he’s managed to secure enough intel on me to accuse me of an incident that occurred seven months ago? Does that seem at all believable to you? How about you people watching at home? Are you all really so gullible as to buy something this man says, just because he belongs to the same political party you do? I’d like to think not. You’re all intelligent people. Some a little more than others, sure, but most of you can at least do the math on this one. Why would your president disappear for a few hours last night, then suddenly declare me a threat in the morning and try to accuse me of the single greatest death toll in American history? Go on, I’ll give you a couple minutes to think about it.”
The president started squirming under my arm. “Will someone please take care of this guy?!”
The secret service members seemed conflicted. I could tell they were trying to decide if opening fire when I was so close to the president was a good idea.
“What’s the matter, Brad? Are you afraid of people thinking for themselves? You’ve managed to keep everyone from noticing that you’ve yet to keep a single campaign promise in the two years you’ve been in office. What’s wrong with waiting a couple minutes for people to puzzle this out on their own?”
“You’ve threatened this nation and blasphemed against God! I’ll gladly lay down my life for both! I’m ordering you guys to open fire!” he bellowed at the agents.
Having resigned themselves to the act, the armed men tried to narrow their aim to just me, attempting to avoid hitting the president as much as possible. As soon as they went to pull the triggers, however, they found themselves holding walkie talkies instead.
I laughed at their confusion. “Ah hahaha! That joke never gets old. I pulled it on a bunch of guys in the Kremlin yesterday too. Man, they were so pissed!” I focused my attention back on the crowd still staring at us in the room. “Anyway, let me address his concerns. No, I have not threatened America. I meant what I said yesterday. I’m here to help humanity take the next steps in its development, and judging by the clown you’ve elected to lead your country, I can tell you need all the help you can get. As for blaspheming against God, well, that’s really more of a personal perspective. I merely said I was a god. I have never asked anyone to worship me, nor do I intend to. What people do of their own free will is their choice, not mine. As long as we’re on the topic of blasphemy, however, let me ask my first question to you again. How’s Pam?”
He turned pale. “She’s not feeling well. I’ve already addressed that in this briefing.”
I nodded thoughtfully. “Yes. Yes, I can imagine she isn’t feeling too good at all. She’s been bedridden for what, a month now? Condition deteriorating. Your good friend Doctor Murray has been watching over her, right? He still hasn’t figured out why?”
“N-no,” he stammered, not sure where I was going with this.
“Have you spoken with her this morning?”
“No, I was planning on visiting her after this.”
“You planned on visiting your sick wife after announcing to the world that I was its greatest threat? I’m not sure if I should be flattered or not. I was a higher priority than the woman who was supposed to die this afternoon.”
The reporters lost their minds. Shouts of “what’s that supposed to mean” and “what’s happened to the First Lady” and the like came at us in waves. The president, while detestable, wasn’t an entirely stupid man. He’d noticed how I phrased that last part, and I saw him silently mouthing was over and over again. I raised my voice to be heard over the din.
“Shall we go check on her? I imagine she’s feeling much better now, no doubt thanks to Doctor Murray’s ministrations. Ron!” I called to the reporter. He jumped, not expecting it.
“Uh, yeah?”
“Come with us! Grab a cameraman. We’re gonna go visit the First Lady. Come on, stop dilly dallying, you know you can’t pass up the chance.”
The room was still in an uproar, and this didn’t help things. This was a room full of people paid to get the news and scoops. They all wanted to join us, but I refused.
“Come on, people. Show some compassion! She’s a sick woman. We can’t burden her with too many people at once. I picked Ron here because he was the first to speak up, and I like that. Now, we’re leaving. Have a good morning everyone!” I waved with one hand while the other arm was still locked around Allen’s shoulders. Ron made to follow us out the door, but a uniformed Marine moved to block his path. I looked at the young man.
“Son, I’ve got a hell of a lot of respect for the military. Hell, I’m a veteran myself. But if you don’t let this guy pass, we’re going to have some issues. You watched me appear out of nowhere, and saw those pistols turn into radios. As dedicated as you might be, is it really worth your life to test me?”
“I’ve been prepared to give my life for my country since I raised my right hand, sir. If you have to kill me to move me, then that’s what’s going happen.” He stared me right in the eyes, never flinching once.
I laughed. A heartfelt laughter, not a mocking one. “You Marines sure are something else.” I popped the four of us, cameraman included, to the hallway behind the Marine. He turned around, startled. “I never had any intention of harming you, nor this country. I’ve got a bone to pick with this man, however. You’re coming with us as well. You don’t even have a choice in that matter. Grab a couple agents, too. I want proper witnesses with us.” And with that, we started walking down the hall.
*
Rhia watched John’s antics on the screen. She sensed that none of this was going like he thought it would, but he was still having fun, so she’d leave him alone for now. No doubt he’d realize just how much he’d upended the world later, as she watched the various sections of the screen, noting how their guests from last night were reacting to the circus in the White House.
Su was sitting on the couch next to her, eating John’s breakfast since he was otherwise occupied. “He really doesn’t give a damn about anything, does he? He’ll just do whatever he wants, damn the consequences.”
“I thought that’s what you liked about him?” Rhia asked.
“Oh, it is, but even I know when to dial it back a bit. Even if John hadn’t bribed me yesterday, I still would’ve acted just like I should have. Don’t tell him that, though. The payoff is more than worth it later on,” she said conspiratorially. “What about you though? Isn’t that why you’re attracted to him as well?”
“No. It was his… nothing! I don’t know what you’re talking about! I’m just here to help him complete his task. We are just Lord and Servant.”
Su was laughing at how red Rhia had turned. “Honey, you’re the only one who thinks that. He certainly doesn’t see it that way,” she indicated the tall, joking man on screen escorting the president around his own house. “He’s keeping his distance out of respect, but he knows, or at least suspects how you feel. It’s obvious as hell to those of us that have known you for longer than a year, or six hundred.”
Rhia pretended to ignore her as she watched the various partitions on the screen. The pope wasn’t even watching his tv, but was praying, doubtlessly hoping for some guidance after hearing John’s story last night. Piotr, the Russian president, was staring at his TV intently, probably trying to gauge John’s reactions to see what he could get away with. The Saudi king… oh? That was interesting. He was currently beating the guards outside the room the young girl was being kept in. Rhia sensed he was going to cause more trouble before long. Wang Shu was watching, surrounded by advisors. A small smirk was on her face. She clearly had little love for the US president. Linda Nelson was in her office at HorizonTech, laughing and eating popcorn, apparently on a conference call with someone as she watched the news. She was definitely enjoying it.
Everyone was reacting about how she thought they would. Well, except for the Saudi king. Rhia doubted the blood was ever coming out of that rug. That was a shame. It was a beautiful rug. She turned her attention to John’s panel again. They were approaching a door flanked by two men. Rhia triggered the audio and focused the whole screen on John.
“Hey guys!” John was saying to the guards. “We’re gonna need to get into that room, please.”
The men looked from John to Allen and back again.
“Look guys, the Prez here just wants to visit his sick wife, right? And we thought, ‘Hey! This is a hell of a photo op!’ So we grabbed Ron and his cameraman here, got a kind escort from this awesome Marine and his two secret service buddies over there…” John could be seen looking at everyone else following behind them, some with guns pointed at him. “I don’t know who the hell these other guys are, but the gun thing is getting pretty old. Hey, camera guy, want to see a neat trick? Watch this.” John gestured that the camera should point towards the armed crowd. “Ready? One, two, three.” On “three” John snapped his fingers, and suddenly every gun was a banana.
“There you go guys! Who doesn’t love bananas?” John then turned back to the door guards and raised an eyebrow. Without further prompting, they stepped away from the door. John smiled. “Thanks guys! Now, here’s a fun fact for those playing at home. No one inside this room knows we’re out here. ‘But how can that be, oh Great and Mighty Zekken? Haven’t you been making a racket the whole way down here?’ you ask. You’re absolutely right! I’ve been making all kinds of noise. Now, here’s the trick. I’ve placed a wall of silence between this room and the hallway. Do you know what this means? With them having no clue we’re out here, the surprise can be maintained! Oh, I’ll bet Mrs. Allen will be so pleased to see her husband visiting her so early in the day. Ok, now let’s arrange the entry order here…”
Rhia watched John get everyone in a line, ensuring that the camera had a clear shot of the room before anyone entered it. He really was hamming it up too much. If Su of all people had remarked on it, then he was definitely going overboard. She really needed to teach him her telepathy so she could yell at him from greater distances.
“Okay, Brad, are you ready? Aaaaand go!”
On the screen, the president slowly opened the door, almost hesitantly. John, being John, got impatient and assisted him by reaching over his head and slammed the door open. No one, except maybe John, expected to see the sight that awaited them.
Laying on the floor was a gentleman grasping his jaw and looking up in shock. He was staring at the young woman in pink pajamas standing above him, who was grasping her right fist and swearing.
She looked at the door and saw Bradley Allen staring at her in shock. Paying no attention to the crowd around him or the camera hovering over his shoulder, she marched right up to him. “Your fucking boyfriend has been poisoning me for weeks, Brad! This was not part of our arrangement! What the hell is going on, and who the fuck are these guys?!”
John could be heard laughing behind the camera. “Adultery and attempted murder, Brad? Now who’s the blasphemer?”