Interlude: Hero

Mahmoud Schahed/Dial

You’d think revealing your big giant secret would get easier the second time. But it was harder.

With X, there was a level of, I don’t know, non judgemental-ness. Not a real word, I know. But X wasn’t about to rip into me for so many things. For one, he wasn’t learning that an alternate universe had dozens of forms of media he either starred in or co-starred in. He was also logical. While he’d obtained true AI status, he still put emotion away when it was necessary.

I felt nervous that Jen wasn’t about to do the same.

Still. It didn’t feel right, not telling her. I liked Jen. Dating her, hanging out with her, joking with her, were awesome moments for me. If this was going to continue, I couldn’t live without telling her. This secret encompassed so much. I knew more about Jen’s alternate selves than I knew some family members. Which kinda meant I knew more about her in some areas than she knew about herself.

Like the fact her favorite song was Tubtumping and her favorite drink was Grape Nehi. Those were trivia facts I remembered from wiki’s, for crying out loud.

Damnit, I’m putting it off at this point.

“Okay, so,” I tapped a finger on the table in front of me. “You already know I’m from another world.”

“I do. You came from a world without superpowers and aliens and stuff,” she frowned. “Or at least, one that you think doesn’t have that stuff.”

Fair point. This universe had been similar to mine, in the public perception at least, until someone decided to mess with Tony Stark on the wrong day.

“Well, in my universe, things were relatively normal. I was normal. I was a geeky dude.”

“Was?”

“Very funny,” I smirked. “But seriously. I was obsessed with movies, television, random science trivia… and comic books. Two of the big ones, in my universe, were DC Comics and Marvel. Marvel has a lot of flagship characters. Guys like Spider-Man are the most popular. There’s also characters like Wasp, and Ant-Man-”

“What, it’s a bunch of insect superheroes?” Jen asked with a grin.

“Iron Man, Thor, Black Widow-”

Her eyes widened. “Wait-”

“-Captain America, Hulk… She-Hulk.”

“Your universe had comic books about me!?” she asked, shocked.

“Not just comics. Animated shows, a couple of video games. Actually, Marvel comics started back in the sixties, so there’s a lot of material there…” I kept my gaze locked to her. “Jennifer, I’ve read about the adventures of Marvel superheroes since I was a little kid. I mean, this universe is an alternate of all the others. But all of you are really similar to the ones from the comics-”

“Stop, stop, stop!” she shook her head staring at me. “Mahmoud, I… what am I supposed to say about this? So, I’m, what, fictional?”

“No, you aren’t,” I said immediately. “Lets nail that one in the head right now. You and I are as real as anyone else. We aren’t fictional, we’re flesh and blood. As far as I know, all my world had was a window. A glimpse into other worlds that we put to the page. Even then, the question of real or fictional isn’t- Look,” I pointed out the window. At the city of New York, bright and shining in the sunlight. “This is real, Jen. You, me, Cap. All of us are real…”

I looked back at her. “The important part isn’t that. The important part is that I knew so much about you, Jen. I was reading about you for years.”

“Yeah, that’s a little creepy.”

“Well I didn’t know I’d actually be meeting you,” I sighed. “Jen, I just… I want the air clear between us.”

“I can tell,” she shook her head, staring at me like she’d never seen me before. “Mahmoud, I don’t know how I’m supposed to take this,” she crossed her arms. “I mean, it’s not like you were cheating on me, or killed anyone. But this still feels like, I don’t know, a violation or something. What am I supposed to- YOU HAD SEX WITH ME!”

Oh shit, that’s true.

I stared at her, horrified. I think that saved me from an asskicking because she saw the look on my face and swallowed. “I mean… you never wanted to before. That’s a point in your favor… Why did you-”

“I’d almost died,” I whispered. “And after everything I went to, all I thought about was how much I missed you. I don’t know how much. I needed you,” god, the look she was giving me. I swallowed. “Jen, I wasn’t trying to trick or hurt you. I’m just-what I told you, it can cause a lot of damage. I’ve kept it secret from everyone. Except X, because I didn’t want to die without anyone else not knowing the full truth.”

“...So why did you finally tell me?”

With a sigh, I rubbed the back of my head. “Because nowadays, when I think of the people who keep me going, you’re number one. When I was at my weakest, you’re the first person I thought of for comfort. I don’t want anything like this between us. Not anymore.”

Jen paced in front of me, avoiding my gaze. “I need some time, Dial.”

Dial. Not Mahmoud. She was still pacing. When I didn’t say anything for a while, she looked up at me. I struggled to find the right thing to say. Of course she needed time. Of course. But I didn’t want time. I wanted us to be okay.

“O-Okay. That makes sense,” I said, going against that feeling. “Do you need some space or-”

“No,” she scowled. “I’m not leaving your side.”

Wait, what?

Jen shook her head. “I mean… you almost died. And I would have lost you without even knowing you went missing. I’m not leaving you.”

She looked determined, though I could still see she was uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say. I mean, clearly we’d both been through a lot.

God, hearing what Mary had done to her. The description of bones breaking, healing into place, then shattering again. Titania in the comics had been vicious in a fight, but hearing it happen to someone you love is totally different.

“What do you want to do then?” Jennifer asked.

“Stay with you,” I said honestly. “As long as you’ll have me.”

Her emerald lips quirked upwards. “...Anything else I should know?”

“Well… I’ve read a lot of comic books. You wanna hear about the embarrassing stuff that the other Avengers did?”

She laughed, then froze. “Wait… is there embarrassing stuff for me too?”

“Uuuuuuhhh,” I rubbed the back of my neck.

“What did I do!?” Jen asked, horrified.

“Technically, you didn’t do anything!”

“Alternate me, whatever!”

“Okay… maybe I should start with embarrassing stuff about myself.”

“That might be for the best.”

Jen’s arms uncrossed. She walked over to give me a long look. “We’ll be okay, maybe.”

That ‘maybe’ felt like a pin in a sensitive zone.

“So,” Jen coughed. “You uh, said you were.”

“Well…” It took me a second to think of one. “When I was a kid, my sister, my brothers, and me had a baseball and a bunch of golf balls. We’d just watched the movie Sandlot, that baseball movie? So we went outside and started practicing our baseball dreams.”

I grinned a little. “Turns out though, that when you hit golf balls with a baseball, you get a lot of air time. We ended up hitting a lot of them. Then a mechanic from a garage down the street comes over. Turns out we destroyed the windshields of two cars. My dad was so pissed off…”

Jen laughed. “Okay, that’s funny, but it’s more mischievous than embarrassing! Come on, what else?”

“Well, there is the time I told this girl I liked her, and her response was to gather a posse of her friends to gather around me as they all yelled ‘hell no’. In front of the entire school cafeteria. And her boyfriend, who I did not know existed.”

“Ah, that’s actually really sad,” Jen grinned at me.

“Nah, the worst part was that I still had a crush on her,” I grinned, my cheeks feeling hot. “I didn’t have good taste in women back then.”

“Nice to see that changed.”

Jen and I talked for a little while longer. I shared stories of the sorts of things that I found really hard to admit, blushing heavily the whole time.

Then I got to share Jen’s embarrassing stories of stuff that her alternate selves had done. Or had fought.

“Doctor Bong?” Jen stared at me, flabbergasted. “Are you serious? He wore a bell as his helmet?”

“Serious. He was one of the weirder themed bad guys. Still evil, but…”

I told her about some of her various love interests, too.

“Tony, huh? Eh. Guess I have good taste. Along with Hercules the Greek hero!? He’s alive?” I still needed to look into that. “Damn, that’s cool.”

Of course, that then led too…

“Wait, wait, how many people do I have sex with in this other universe?”

That got a grin out of me. She got over it quickly though.

Then we started talking about the general universe.

“You already knew who Mary was?” she asked.

“Yeah. I mean, it isn’t perfect, but if I know the name of someone, I usually have some basic insight into who they might grow to be, or even what their secret identities could be.”

“...What about Frank?” when I looked surprised, she scoffed. “Look, I may not have known what you were lying about, but I could tell that you were. You’re bad at it. And when we talk about Frank, you always act like you know something about him I don’t.”

Damn. I’ve always been bad at lying. It’s my eyes, I widen them too much. “In most universes, something,” I tried to think of the best way to explain it. Then I just went for it. “Frank’s family gets killed.”

Jen stared at me, horrified. “Maria and the kids?”

“Yeah. I mean, the reason and the time and place change, but it happens almost all the time. Someone kills them, and Frank becomes enraged. No, worse than that. He goes out and kills the people who killed them. Then he goes after the criminals like them. And he never stops. He’s at war for the rest of his life. Constantly traveling the world, killing the worst of the worst.”

“In some ways, it’s not all bad. He kills a lot of horrible people. Slavers, rapists, serial killers, mob bosses. But he never finds happiness, satisfaction…” I thought of another avenger of justice. “Unaware of loss, nor aware of gain. His family is gone. And Frank’s only focus from then on is vengeance.”

I took a deep breath. “I have a lot of info on our world. Good and bad. And I spend a lot of time preparing for all the bullshit I can. There is a constant set of camera’s watching the area around Frank’s home. X created a program specifically checking on his family, keeping me updated on their safety and his. The same is happening for a few others. Peter Parker, Kamala Khan, a lot of prospective superheroes, villains… There’s a lot I’ve been keeping track of.”

I couldn’t keep the exhaustion out of my voice. Man, was I really that worn out?

Guess I was. I’d been holding a lot of cards together, planning for every single eventuality I could. There was a lot to worry about. Everything from the various supervillains I knew about, to the ones that might show up. Fact is, idiots claiming bad guys only rose in response to us were forgetting the simple fact that greed, insanity, obsession, bad upbringings, a thousand other things, were there to make those bad guys real. I was trying to get around that in a bunch of ways, even spending a lot of the money X was making me on things like schools, charities, hospitals both medical and psychological. There was so much on my mind, all the time.

“Well… you don’t have to go it alone,” Jen gave me a smile. “So. Tell me about Thor? Or at least, the alternate Thor?”

“Well, Creel is actually one of his most consistent bad guys,” I said with a grin.

“Seriously? That’s awkward.”

“Not as awkward as his wife in that universe.”

“Wait, seriously? Who is it?” Jen asked, looking positively delighted by the idea.

“Mary MacPherson.”

“You’re kidding!” when I shook my head, Jen busted out laughing. “Oh my god, she’s so mean though!”

After that, it was just trading stories, trying our best to push past all this. Maybe it would work out, maybe it wouldn’t. But we were honest with each other. And that felt damn good to me.

After a couple of hours of that, Creel and Izzy showed up. Jen took one look at Creel before she started giggling.

I shushed Jen, trying to keep her calm. Alloy and the Warrior noticed as soon as they walked up that Jen was practically shaking in her seat, while I tried to get her to stop.

“What’s going on with her?” Izzy asked.

“She’s dealing with some self-control issues,” I gave her a glare while she grinned.

“Just talking about Creel’s taste in women,” she said to Izzy.

I opened my mouth, then closed it when I thought about it. Huh. Actually, Izzy was pretty badass in her own right. Guess Creel liked a woman who could handle herself in a fight. Not that I was one to talk.

“I think it’s pretty good,” Izzy teased, pressing an elbow to Creel’s side. He blushed.

“I was uh, gonna ask you,” Creel looked at me. “Izzy and me were gonna go on patrol, maybe run around the places Jarvis marked as points of illegal activity. You wanna come, or just keep talking about my love life?”

Jen lost it.

“BWAHAHAHA!” she staggered out of her seat and kept laughing. “Oh my god!”

I couldn’t help it. “Yeah, you ever date any redheads?”

“HA!”

Izzy and Creel stared at Jen, confused, while I grinned. “Sure, let’s go fight some bad guys.”

“Jen, are you okay?” Izzy asked, seriously concerned.

“It’s been a long few hours,” Jen said, still grinning.

------

We patrolled New York City, and god did it feel good to do it. We had stopped a simple set of crimes. Creel knocked out a mugger in his asphalt form, Izzy had unleashed a beatdown on some guys robbing a bodega, I’d swung down in Snare-Oh form to save someone from a runaway car, and Jen and I (in Wildmutt form) had taken down a drug dealer's den. Simple stuff.

Now we were looking for the next big fight.

“Astrodactyl!” I zoomed over the streets, flying over the cars and citizens just fast enough that I wasn’t shattering windows in my passing. When I got close to an alleyway, I tapped the Omnitrix.

“Goop!” In gelatinous form, I slid through a fire escape and floated using my anti-grav device, sliding through the air like a snake before I came to a brick wall.

“Big Chill!” I flew right through the wall, coming through an empty office and out the other side. “Woo!” I cheered in my ghostly voice.

“Wait up!” Jen leaped overhead. She laughed as she treated the rooftops like her personal playground, somersaulting in the air. “We can’t all fly!”

“Fine, fine,” I came to stop and floated up to join Jen. Soon, Creel and Izzy, the latter dressed in her power armor, showed up, both having leaped across the rooftops in a slightly slower manner than Jen. “Sorry. Just happy to have this thing back in working order. Here.”

I tapped the Omnitrix. In a flash of green light, my bones shifted. Orange-red scales grew across my form, my nose stretched outward, and a long tail was swinging behind me.

“So that’s what a Saur-Lord looks like, huh?” Izzy mumbled, her helmet giving her voice a metallic tinge.

“Yep,” I licked my lips while looking down at myself, a tongue five inches longer than normal running along razor sharp teeth. The Omnitrix had given me a tight spandex suit that went along from my chest to my calves, covering half my tail as well. I raised up my right hand and opened it, unsheathing my claws. “This is one of the raptor Saur Lords. I don’t know what species though.”

“A Utahraptor, for sure,” Jen walked up to look me over. I was now almost shoulder height with her. “You gained a couple inches, and Utahraptors are damn big.”

“And dope looking. I feel like hunting people in a theme park now,” I said with a dinosaur grin.

“Wait,” Izzy held a hand up to her ear, listening closely. “I’m getting something on police scanners,” that was how we got the bodega, someone tripping the silent alarm so that we could help. “Something about a man in power armor running through the city with money he stole from… a helicopter?”

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“A helicopter?” I blinked reptilian eyes. “What crazy moron was transferring money by helicopter?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Izzy pointed out at the city. “He’s this way! Come on!” she jumped, the jets in her boots and back sending her up several dozen feet into the air. I jumped as well, getting almost as much height, followed by Creel and Jen.

We jumped across the rooftops together for a few minutes. As we got closer, we could hear gunshots, sirens, and screams. Any amusement left me. In this form, I was somewhere closer to Wildmutt than my human form, that same feeling of ancient savagery filling my mind.

I snarled, landing on the next rooftop, then glaring at the scene before me.

And all the savagery was gone. First, I was surprised. Then I was excited.

“Oh my god! It’s him!”

The police were shooting at him, but the man’s armor bounced the bullets off as he strode over the streets. He had a big silver helmet on that concealed most of his face, and he was laughing boisterously.

“Well met, police officers of this great city! But no mere mortal can withstand the awesome might of… the STILT-MAN!”

“AAAAAAAHHHH!” I squealed like a little girl. “He said the thing! He said the thing!”

“You know this idiot?” Izzy asked me, staring down at the scene before us.

Stilt-Man towered over the streets, his long telescoping limbs keeping him above his enemies. As we watched, he raised his right arm and punched forward. His right arm extended dozens of feet before smashing into a police car hood, crushing the engine.

“Yeah I do! He’s such a d-lister!” I grinned at Creel and Izzy. “I call him!”

“Call him?” Creel stared at me. “Okay, shouldn’t we-”

“Ladies first!” a green blur passed in front of me. “Hey, tall and dumb!”

“Hm?” Stilt-Man turned in time to see She-Hulk punching him in the chest. A light tap by her standards, it was enough to send him stumbling back with a dent in his chestplate. “Ah, the Avengers! Truly, the day of my glory has arrived! For the Stilt-Man stands above-”

“Oh man, she’s gonna steal him!” I leaped down towards the ground. “Come on Izzy, we gotta take out his legs! Creel, help Jen distract him!”

“On it!” Creel’s gauntlet beeped, and soon he was in his vibranium form.

The second my claws hit the ground, I got more serious. As much fun as the idea of fighting Stilt-Man was, he was also covered in armor that gave him-

“Yow!!!” Jen shouted when a giant metal boot came down from above, smashing into and through the concrete.

Really strong telescopic arms and legs. Damn. “Jen! You okay!?”

“Just catching the subway!” Jen called back up. As Stilt-Man stepped away from the hole he’d made, Jen climbed out, covered in dust. “He’s pretty strong!”

“I am INVINCIBLE!” Stilt-Man crowed in response, punching at me. I ducked a telescoping punch with superhuman speed, diving for one of the cops nearby to pull him out of the way of another attack.

“Get everyone back!” I told the cop, lowering him to the ground.

“Uh, are you Dial?” the cop asked.

“Yeah, now-”

“Damnit, my kids gonna want another figure now,” the cop mumbled. “Okay, we’ll pull everyone back!”

“Got ya!” Izzy shouted nearby, leaping upward and slicing with her sword. The catom blade slashed off his right leg.

“A useless effort!” Stilt-Man’s leg extended further, compensating for the lost feet of limb.

“Are you serious!?” Creel shouted, right as a long fist smashed into his stomach. Creel grunted, but took the blow with the tenacity of a boxer. “He can grow more!”

“Up to 290 feet! Enough to tower over all of the world for eternity!”

“Where do you get those dumb lines!?” Izzy said, slicing at his arm as it passed.

“He’s such a classic, man!” okay, fine, I couldn’t help it. As seriously as I was taking him, he was Stilt-Man. He was up there with Frog-Man and the Ringer on the list of useless villains. Which, ya know, still made him dangerous.

I missed dodging one of his kicks and ended up bouncing off the asphalt. As I landed, I growled. Okay. That hurt. Enough geeking out. Time to fight.

I rushed for Stilt-Man, dodging another kick. This form wasn’t crazy or anything, but I was faster, stronger, and more agile than any human not named Steve Rogers. I leaped onto a building, running along the side with my clawed hands digging into the brickwork, then off that to land on top of Stilt-Man directly.

“Sorry, but I’m not losing this one!” I snarled, slashing at his arm. My claws apparently weren’t as tough as Wildmutt’s, because they couldn’t do more than scratch the finish.

“Off, ruffian!” His other hand came up his hip and shot out at me like Goku’s power pole, hitting me in the chest and pushing me outward. As I went, filled with pain from the power of his blow, I yelled out.

“Diamondhead!” the voice command feature on my Omnitrix activated. I hit the ground and stared up at Stilt-Man, fists clenched.

Back in New York City, in my favorite alien form again, fighting against a supervillain from the classic days of comics. Good to be home.

“Hey,” Jen landed next to me. “This guy is pretty tough.”

“You wouldn’t think so based on his name, right?” I said with a grin. I created a blade of crystal and tossed it to Jen, turned my right arm into a diamond sword, then rushed forward. “Got my back?”

“Always!” Jen shouted, swinging her own sword as she ran.

We ran in together, as Stilt-Man continued to fight Izzy and Creel, the Warrior slicing at him with her sword and Alloy blocking his attacks from hitting civilians, acting like the big shiny distraction. The… damn, what was Stilt-Man’s tagline?

“Ah, the Universal Dial and Savage She-Hulk have returned!”

Well shoot, he knew mine, why didn’t I know his?

Anyway, I brought the sword in front of me as he lashed out with another punch. The robotic fist hit my blade in the center, splitting down the middle as my blade cut through it. I sliced forward To finish the job, sending pieces of metal and circuitry flying. Jen made a quick hop to slice at his leg with the sword I made her, getting hit in the arm when Stilt-Man extended his leg further to compensate.

“Two hundred and ninety feet is more than I remember it being!” Izzy shouted. Stilt-Man kicked at her with the remaining portions of his cut off left leg, the end sparking. Creel dropped in front of the leg to block it on his crossed arms. “Thanks babe!” Izzy moved around him to slice off another portion of his leg.

“Go down already!” Creel shouted, jumping up to punch Stilt-Man in the chest. The dent Jen had made got that much bigger.

The… damnit, what was Stilt-Man’s tagline? Whatever, Stilt-Man staggered back, clutching at his chest, before bringing himself back to stare at us. “No! You will not bring down the Stilt-Man so easily!”

“Okay, yeah, this guy is cool,” Jen mumbled.

“No, he absolutely is not,” I grinned while turning my sword back into a hand before clenching my fist. “And that’s why I like him.”

I jumped up to catch him as he passed overhead, extending my fingers into razor sharp blades to dig into his suit. “Hey, Wilbur.”

“You know my name!?” Stilt-Man said, surprised.

“Yep. By the way,” I leaned in to look into his eyes, seeing the reflection of my blue-green crystalline face with burning yellow orbs in his. “I’ve got to thank you man. I had a rough couple of weeks. I needed a fun supervillain fight to clear my head.”

“Um,” he blinked at me.

“Anyways, fun’s over,” I raised my hands and slashed downward, cutting through inches of steel in his shoulders to get his armor off his arms. As he stumbled back and I fell, I grabbed at his legs, slicing down while I went. Wilbur fell to the ground in a shower of metal and sparks, shouting as he crashed onto the asphalt.

“Augh!” he bounced upward, then stared around. Dozens of pieces of armor were all over the place. A couple of cars had been destroyed, and more than few cars had been destroyed in the wake of his rampage. He looked up at us. I raised a fist and turned it into a spiked mace, Jen and Izzy pointed their swords, and Creel punched one fist into his palm with the clatter of a hammer on an anvil.

“Hmm… well, I would like to surrender,” Wilbur said, smiling. “I must say, this was worth it. Quite fun, brawling in the streets.”

“Yeah, it was,” I grinned. “Let’s not do it again anytime soon though.”

A police officer ran over with a pair of cuffs, placing Wilbur in custody as he chuckled. “Ah, never say never!”

I grinned a bit wider as he was taken away, then looked at the others. “So, what next?”

“Well, I’m finally warmed up,” Izzy’s helmet melted into her armor, releasing her long black hair and the wide smile on her face. “Let’s go make more of the city safe.”

“Uh, excuse me!” we all turned to look at some guy walk up to us. He was wearing a suit, and had a very annoyed look on his face. “Who’s gonna pay for my car!?”

He pointed at a sedan that had been split almost in half, most likely by a giant metal boot.

“...” I reached into my back pocket and pulled out a checkbook. “Here,” I wrote my name on it and an estimated price. “Cash this and it should take care of it.”

“Not likely!” he scoffed, taking the check. “Do you know-... Oh. Well, thank you very much,” he calmed down considerably, smiling. “Uh, thanks, for um, saving my life.”

He turned and ran off while I looked around. “If anyone else has something that got destroyed, the Avengers have a fund set-up for it. Just look on our website and our guys will have you taken care of. Legitimate grievances only please, we know when you’re faking.”

“Come on,” Creel tapped me on the shoulder. “Let’s go hit something else.”

“And save people,” I reminded him gently.

He smirked. “Well, if we can get around to it.”

------

The rest of the day was relatively quiet, just us rushing around the city saving as many people as we could. It was a lot of fun honestly. Like the good old days before the HYDRA uprising. Except with friends.

Soon enough though, we headed back home to grab some more grub. When we entered the Tower, Maria Hill was waiting in the rec room.

“Director?” I blinked at her, back in my human form. “What are you doing here?”

“Following up on a couple of things,” she said, drinking a beer. Wait, she was allowed to drink beer on the job? Then again, comic Nick Fury smoked cigars all the time. The joys of being in charge. “For one thing, I heard you guys caught someone in an armored suit today. So, thanks for the extra paperwork.”

“Uh. I mean,” I looked at the others, who seemed just as nervous. “We just-”

“I’m kidding,” the director smirked. “It was a good catch. I’m actually here about something else,” she turned to face me entirely. “I know you’ve been through a lot, but I need your help with a couple of things. First, Man-Thing has been found. I have Agatha consulting on the situation, but I’d like your unique mindset on the job,” Jen coughed at that. “There’s also something I need Steve and you for.”

“A mission?”

“Nope,” she grinned at me. “A talk show.”

“...what.”

Creel chuckled at the look on my face. “Better get over the stage fright now, bud.”

------

A while later, Jen and I were alone in my apartment. Creel and Izzy were getting their own meal for the time being, which really meant they wanted to be alone with their significant other. Honestly, we were in the same boat, if for different reasons.

“Are you sure you want to?” I asked Jen. “I mean, I’ve made you uncomfortable enou-”

A finger pressing to my lips stopped me. “Shut up, Mahmoud,” Jen gave me a grin, stepping back. “You’ve already seen me naked. This isn’t anything different,” despite that, she looked a little more nervous.

“I guess,” I went along with her lie.

We stared at each other awkwardly. After a long, deep breath, Jen clenched her fists and closed her eyes.

Slowly, she started shrinking into herself, dropping three feet in height and around five hundred pounds in weight. Her emerald skin changed hue to white. While she still had muscle, it was more of the way a healthy young woman would be, rather than the ripped fitness model look she’d had before.

When she was done, a woman who looked a lot like Alison Brie opened her eyes. She stared at me for a long moment, like she was seeing me for the first time. Which, she sort of was.

“So uh…” I rubbed the back of my head. “I don’t know how different you are from other versions of you, but-”

“Okay, stop,” Jen… Jennifer, I guess, raised a hand and stopped me from talking, her other hand going to her head. “God, I had enough trouble going over this while I was green.”

I shut up while she looked around. “I’m still getting used to all of this. I’m not even sure how I feel about dating you, let alone all this superhero crap.”

“Ah,” I winced. Jennifer looked over at me and seemed to look guilty.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just… I feel like I am and am not in the driving seat, you know? It’s not like Bruce and Hulk,” she smiled slightly. “Although it’s really good to see him again. It’s more like, I’m playing a video game, I guess. The main character is me, but stronger, more confident. So I still made all those choices, but there’s a filter over everything.”

“Because you have no idea if you would have made those decisions if you’d been yourself,” I said.

“Huh,” she walked up to look up at me. Honestly, that was gonna take some getting used too. But ya know, looking at her… she was still Jen. It was in the little ways she looked at me. Her nose was crinkling the same way. Still cute. “Yeah. That’s pretty much it,” she scowled. “And it doesn’t help that ‘Shulkie’ doesn’t let me out to play too often.”

Well, I had the answer for that. “Then talk to her.”

“Talk to her?” Jennifer blinked. “What?”

“Have a real conversation. Make a deal about things.”

She cocked her head to the side. “Yeah… that might be worth a shot, I guess.”

“Hey, I’m a pretty smart guy, when I apply myself,” I chuckled.

Jennifer grinned, poking me in the forehead. “You’re a dork.”

Somehow, that made me feel pretty good to hear. We smiled at each other. For just a moment, everything felt like it was going to be okay.

“...You guys gonna kiss now?”

Jen and I jumped, turning around. Ruby was sitting on my couch, quietly reading World War Z. The blonde brat gave us a look. “I don’t mind, but it’s weird if you guys do it right in front of me.”

“You little midget,” I said, shocked. “When did you get here!?”

“Right around, ‘You’ve already seen me naked,’” Ruby said, a smarmy look on her face. “You guys are so bad at spy stuff.”

“Maybe because we weren’t expecting someone to just sneak in here!” Jen protested.

“That’s what made it easy,” Ruby said, cocking an eyebrow at her.

“Okay, Ruby, this is something we should really talk about,” I said with a sigh. “You need to start knocking from now on.”

“But I don’t want to.”

“Young lady, you need to understand, if you keep doing this, people are going to feel disrespected, and you’ll end up… oh god, I’m acting like your dad,” I whispered, shocked.

All three of us froze, staring at each other. “...This is really awkward,” Jen mumbled.

Man, it was a good day, but Ruby really made it end weirdly.

Still. It was good to be back in action man, right alongside this weird little family I’d made.