Snapdragon

"Snapdragon." Ayre lingers on the sound of my name as it passes through their lips. They brush a fang against their lower lip before speaking what is on their mind. "Are you willing to tell me about your name?"

With the door to the spire closed shut behind me, my gaze sweeps across our home’s foyer. Selescia dutifully presses Fia into helping her clean up the worst of the night's many accrued stains. Footwear is left by the door, hands are cleaned, and Amari has a quiet word with Theriya about Cerya.

Not once does the fox kin avert her gaze from me. An interest in the question?

I clear my throat, easing myself back into using my head voice. “I am willing, but I had hoped to speak at length on a number of matters.” I pause, deciding to nibble at my own lip.

“On things you could not share elsewhere?” Ayre speculates, earning a nod. They are interrupted by a hiss of pain as Selescia makes the mistake of scrubbing through blood and bumping into scales.

“Apologies, Princess. I did not realize.” Selescia can’t tear her gaze away from the extent of the growths and changes.

“Sssssorry. It’s okay! You didn’t know. They are… Sensitive.” Ayre murmurs. “Switch with Fia, maybe?”

The other doll’s eyes alight. “This one will take care of the Master!”

That gets a tight lipped exchange of expressions from Ayre and Selescia both. But the dolls swap places without another word. Selescia dutifully assists me in stripping down to my sweat stained underclothing while Fia does the same for Ayre.

Noticeably, Ayre curses less with the amount of care Fia is taking to avoid the sensitive areas.

I on the other hand am… Unwilling to undress any further, finding myself unused to being fussed over by someone who isn’t Cerya. I am left to fumble for words to express my discomfort. In stark contrast to Fia, Selescia quickly sees my discomfort for what it is, giving me space without a need for further elaboration.

Theriya sets aside her efforts to catch Amari up on last night’s events to fetch a rain cloak to drape around me. She then turns to Selescia, sternly addressing the room. “I appreciate all of your efforts. But I must insist that Fia and Ayre be given some time and space in the baths to recover from last night’s ordeal.”

I blink, needing a moment to turn my attention away from my own body feeling exposed as I tug the cloak tighter around me.

There is room to fit four in that bath, with sufficient dividers to give each their own privacy. Why would… Oh.

Theriya’s reassuring smile says the rest.

I’m being given time and space to offer Ayre far more than just comforting words.

Why settle for words when I can offer Ayre a rare display of my body?

I could even offer up a taste. But this time in an environment where Ayre will be free to feel everything that it is I feel. Whether or not we are the same is secondary to offering them a more pointed awareness of their own body without fear of needing to smother these feelings in order to perform the roles assigned to us.

We can just… Be.

Safely. Comfortably. Ourselves.

I can't help but notice that Ayre and Amari are exchanging furtive looks.

She mouths assurances that Ayre’s dolls will be addressed and taken care of. Ayre is left to think on Theriya’s words while Fia clings to their arm.

With a solemn inclination of the head, they eventually agree.“Yeah. There are still some things I’m not sure about. As much as I want to explain everything, I think Snapdragon and I could use some time for ourselves.” Ayre spares a hesitant look in my direction. “If she’s okay with it, of course.”

I nod in agreement, even if the look Amari gives me suggests I am over eager.

Amari clasps her hands. “Very well. It shall be as you wish, Seed Seer Theriya.”

“I’ll ensure everyone is on the same page.” Theriya reaches out a pair of hands, extending yet another quiet reassurance as she turns her head to address the others. “Fia. Selescia. You shall have the task of preparing Ayre for tonight’s binding ceremony.” Theriya gives my hands a soft squeeze before pulling away and raising her voice. “As for you, Amari, I suspect Ayre would like a word in private.”

Fia looks torn, but before she can ask Ayre for confirmation, Theriya offers honeyed words to bait her in.

“Selescia will need your help in making sure Ayre can adjust to a new kind of garment. You can have them all to yourself while Snapdragon and Amari tend to my Sister and I.”

That gets Fia’s attention.

I trade places with Fia, taking Ayre by the scaled arm as we watch Theriya lead them upstairs.

“Fia hasn’t even seen the dress yet.” Ayre whispers, a private amusement reserved for the ears of Amari and I.

My voice is delicate all of a sudden. “Did you like it?”

Ayre’s head slants to the side, exposing their scaled neck to me. “It would have been bold revealing so much of my neck and back even before all of… This. Now? I think it will make for a perfect presentation of how I wish to be seen.”

“As a Wyrm Eater.” I draw out the title, skeptical of Ayre’s fondness of it.

Ayre shakes their head. “It serves a number of purposes for the short term. Right now, what feels like the most important thing is that it is something I can stand being referred to and perceived as.”

Right.

Of course.

I decide not to press whether or not they are willing to demand being called Princess. Not until Ayre and I have an opportunity to discuss what happened after parting ways for much of the night.

Amari takes this as permission to exchange hushed words in regards to Astraea’s tenuous position in remaining a Sworn Sword despite the break in trust. She’s quick to volunteer to check in on Astraea, explaining that she might have unique insights into Astraea’s circumstances.

When that gets a confused reaction out of Ayre, she elects to not elaborate. Despite evident frustration, Ayre does not press for details. Instead, they impose a time limit. “Just don’t be gone too long, alright? I want you at my side before I confront my siblings.”

“It is what you pay me for.” Amari teases.

“If we’re to help your sisters,” Ayre corrects. “I’m going to need to know details on what I’m walking into.”

“Very well. In that case, I’ll be swift in making my arrangements! Give my regards to Theriya, if you would be so kind. She has a gift waiting in her library.” Amari bids us farewell before making a hurried exit.

Which gives me as good a reason as any to finally ask if I can speak with Lenore about how she feels about everything that has happened. Sharing a body with Ayre and everyone who is fast growing smitten with her sibling feels worth asking her some important questions.

But only if she’s willing.

***

Lenore agrees not long after Ayre finishes their recount of the night’s events beyond the walls as I lock the door to the washroom behind us.

Her first words are… Disheartening.

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“I don’t see a world where what I think matters.” Lenore speaks with a low growl of a voice that makes full use of their shared body’s lungs. “My sister is unwilling to give me up. And frankly I agree. It was by choice that I gave Ayre my life’s blood. I’ll not have anyone reach through them by force to get at me. So to that end, thank you for asking.” Her gaze turns away from me to begin taking in the arrangement of mirrors for personal grooming.

Lenore makes her way to the bath in short order, keeping her gaze planted firmly on the ground as she does so. There is no careful consideration of what to do with her clothes. They are removed and tossed over her shoulder with little consideration to where they land. Out of sight and out of mind.

It is not until she’s had an opportunity to submerge herself in the bath that she speaks again. “I’d much prefer to wake up to this. Or, just once, for someone Ayre is fond of biting us too hard.” She laughs. “Better to stir in a safe environment where I have time to collect my thoughts.”

Meanwhile I arrange myself at bath's far edge. Still clothed with only my feet submerged, I take my time warming my half of the bath with a red Carillion gemstone. “So you’re comfortable?”

I’m treated to another full throated laugh. “The temperature of the water is hardly relevant. If anything, you should understand that every meaningful comfort Ayre experiences finds its way back to me in the space I am confined to when I am not needed.” She gestures to a blue glimmer stone and the stump seating by the mirrors. “I'm coming at this from hoping any form of a bath follows me into that space. But for now, I just…" Her somber expression suggests there are words left unsaid. In case it doesn't last.

"We intend to enjoy it." They say instead. Their change from I to we is a noticeable one. It is accompanied by a straightening of posture as they nudge their back firmly against the bath’s wall. The movements complete with an ever so slight lowering of their slowly developing breasts beneath the water. This does little to hide the scales that line the sides of their neck and frame their chest.

“The hanging greenery serves two purposes.” I say, gesturing to an arrangement of flora draped within reach of the bath. “Privacy, and to absorb any lingering moisture after we are done. If it would bring you comfort, I can draw that screen of greenery to divide up the space.” I nibble at my lip, hoping to start by addressing their aversion to mirrors and showing off their body.

“You two… Don’t need to worry about me.” Ayre mumbles quietly.

I offer Ayre a soft smile before shaking my head. “You would actually be benefiting from accommodations the Seers have already made for me. But if you feel up to exposing yourself, I’m willing to match you in however much you feel comfortable revealing.”

That gets a full fanged smile and a low growl as Lenore claims control. She reaches up to caress her own cheek with the scaled back of her hand. “Sister dearest, Snapdragon and Theriya have taken great care to arrange time and space necessary for your worries to be addressed in full. Accept the comfort of being alone in a shared space or risk braving an opportunity to become known by another.”

The expression Ayre is left making as they try to grapple with the words being offered up is as endearing as it tugs at my heart. “That’s not fair.” They quietly whisper to themselves. “We can’t just coax you into sharing this bath to avoid talking about how you feel as well.”

“Then get back at her.” I chide, hoping to encourage a friendly push back.

Lenore’s low warning growl is drowned out by a sudden slip into the bath’s depths.

Ayre emerges all a titter, coughing up a confession between expelling water. “Lenore is. Ack. A liar! Ugh.”

There is a pause as I consider pressing the matter. “About what?” I ask.

Lenore goes quiet, turning away to rest on crossed arms set on the bath’s edge. “I lied when I claimed that we would stop plucking the scales from our flesh.”

She sighs when her words get no reply from Ayre or I. “You might as well make yourself comfortable. If we’re to speak of names, feeling trapped in bodies that ill suit us, or lessening ourselves to serve a role, why leave anything unsaid?”

I take the invitation for what it is, removing my rain cloak and underclothes to finally join Ayre and Lenore in the bath proper.

Whether intended or not, I find it so much easier to do so with their back turned. Who will know if I decide to just give them the benefit of the doubt?

I am struck by much easier it feels letting down my guard around Ayre and Lenore. Is it because this is not my first time? Or is there a relief in knowing I am not retreading any of the same missteps with Cerya and Theriya?

Witnessing Ayre and Lenore react to, lie about, and discuss their body’s sudden changes means a lot to me.

How many nights have I denied myself the Seers' company because I could not stand to be perceived after subjecting myself to unwanted thoughts and less than comfortable changes?

That I don’t feel any of that now is… Well I wouldn’t say I could put my feelings into words quite yet, but I’m willing to push through. I want to see where this shared vulnerability leads.

Their shoulders slump before Ayre speaks in a disheartened tone. “But we’ve already spent so much time on food at some sprites expense, sitting down within earshot of someone who makes you uncomfortable.” Ayre looks like they want to scream.

My heart aches at their words. It is one thing to know that their feeding comes at the expense of others. But to know that they extend this perception to food prepared by others… What else am I not seeing?

“Let it out.” I encourage them.

“And I was just coming around to the idea of being happy with this arranged Binding Ceremony. But now I have to worry about becoming more of a monster than I ever imagined!” They clutch at their arms, piercing flesh with the larger and newly grown claws before deciding to grip the edge of the bath instead. “I’ve lost the trust of my protector. And now I have to worry about some goddess who wants to pry Lenore out of me! Why her? Why not any number of the kind girls I’ve come to know during my time here?”

“It’s not fair.” I agree.

Their head and voice lowers. “Are you and I not worthy of being remade when it is something we both desperately desire? If not us, why not my dolls whose lives are limited to the whims of any Vylian broodling who claims them?”

I ease myself closer to them, leaning against the dividing wall of stone that separates our baths. If desired, I could easily unlatch and lift up the dividing wall that separates us.

But I close the distance only to offer what small reassurances I can. “You’re not going to single handedly solve all our problems. Not within a day, a ten moon, or even an eclipse. All I’m asking for is the time necessary to make sure we can all live with ourselves and each other. Not as what they want us to be, but as everything we are and hope to become.”

“Don’t offer me that.” Ayre says, shying away from my words. “Snapdragon, you saw how much a brief reflection of the moon affected me. I didn’t stop having to listen to that voice get inside my head and try to convince me to do unforgivable things. You know how much we’re capable of it. Even if Lenore’s presence helps me maintain control, I’m scared of where this will lead.”

“I can only imagine.” I say, trying not to think about how my worst nights lead to me locking myself in the baths for hours on end. “But none of that changes what I brought the both of you here to say. No one else is going to understand how important it is that you and only you should be allowed to make decisions about your body.”

Even if I suspect Theriya named naga for a mix of politically convenient reasons. There is likely an earnest hope that she believed it would help Ayre. It doesn’t change that I’m going to need to have words with her about so casually dictating Ayre’s changes coming at the expense of other living beings.

I am treated to a long silence as Ayre and Lenore shift uncomfortably in place.

Eventually Ayre begins to muse aloud. “If nothing else, it would be nice to know where others stand in regards to how we might want to present ourselves.”

Lenore groans in agreement. “She’s probably right. There’s no point getting our hopes up if we’re not going to follow through.”

Ayre’s words fall to a disbelieving whisper. “You’re sure? Even if the truth is that one or both of us will drag the other into places and forms that makes the other uncomfortable?” They begin to shake with discomfort long before they finish speaking.

Lenore’s voice is a raw and bestial thing as she cups their shared chin with a clawed finger. “Ayre. Listen to me. I have never been more in agreement with you than when we traded who would act as circumstances allowed. We had a drake to contend with, a shaky rapport with Astraea, Snapdragon’s distant support, and you were drowning in a moon’s bloodlust. But we made that work. It was you at the end who chose to listen to your instincts and what few interactions we've had since beginning to share a body. It was you who agreed to drink enough for the both of us with no promise that it would end well for us.”

“I wanted it too.” Ayre admits.

“I know.” Lenore’s voice falls to a low rumbling purr. “But you should know that I gave up a long time ago. Our whole life built up to that dreadful moment where we escaped the depths before it was demanded we kill each other for the place of Twentieth. Try as I might to pull away at times, we’re not gonna stop influencing each other anytime soon. I might as well face up embracing that there are things we’ll be able to do that no one else can.”

“If you’re sure.” Ayre tugs their own hand back down into a slump, a full body sigh escaping their lips.

Lenore hums softly before dropping her voice to an even lower pitched whisper. “My precious sister, I want you to leave this bath as a full on Draconic Princess if that’s what you hope to one day see in the mirror. But first, I think you should turn to face the wilting flower whose hopes for a better life likely rival our own.”

Ayre does, and it is with the most heartfelt smile that they meet my gaze.

Lenore doesn’t seem satisfied to stop there, claiming Ayre’s lips to urge them onward. “Look at her. Really look at her this time. Don’t stop there. Introduce yourself! Then find it in your heart to ask that pretty girl about her name.”

The laughter Lenore earns from the both of us is well earned.

She presses onward, deadly serious this time. “And if the both of you are up for it, you would do well to ask each other what it is that you both want more than anything else in the world.”

“Lenore.” Ayre hisses. “You can’t just… Sorry. I need a moment.”

I wipe a tear from my eyes, not even trying to hide the warmth building in my cheeks. “Take all the time you need, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

Ayre shifts and pulls themselves towards the center dividing wall of the bath to regard me more closely. I am treated to a few moments of Ayre mustering their composure before committing themselves to doing as Lenore instructed. “I know sharing a bath is quite a bit late to be doing this, but allow me to formally introduce myself as the Fourteenth Vylian Princess Ayre. It is a heartfelt pleasure to share this moment with you. Might I ask to know of the name you claim for yourself? You, who are already beloved by both of the enchanting Seed Seers who call this spire home.”

I resist the urge to giggle, merely permitting myself a glowing smile as Ayre commits to presenting as the Princess they wish to be. “I am afraid that the name I claim is that of an unassuming flower given teeth by a murderous moon. If only I could be changed by taking a bite out of another.” We trade warm smiles before one head finds a place on another’s shoulder. “I should think that I would be on the precipice of embodying a Snapdragon in ways I never thought possible.”

Ayre’s voice and expression alight with warmth. “That’s the hope, isn’t it?”

I bite at my lip, caught off guard by Ayre so readily responding to my advances.

Dare I hope?

I’ve already made it this far, haven’t I?

I take Lenore’s advice.