Gasps and murmurs mingled with the sound of my body dragging along the floor. Conversations were demolished upon witnessing Gideon Marvell hovering through the hallway with Mia in his arms leaking like a ketchup bottle. Also, I clung to his ankle with my head caved in. I couldn’t see a thing but the voices and sharp inhales told me everything.

This looked bad for Wonderboy.

“Sir.” Ignio whispered in my still-in-tact ear. “I take it you’re not healing yourself on purpose.”

I would’ve smiled if I had a face. Instead I gave a slight nod.

“Then I suggest you tilt your head up so you traumatize more students.” His little hands moved my skull with the delicacy of a puppeteer. “Also give a little twitch now and then, the twitch really sells it.”

I couldn’t ask for a better minion.

Looking back, I would’ve loved to see all their faces as I got dragged through the hall. Even so, what I could hear was fucking rich. I was hearing “oh God”,“who is that?” and “is he still breathing?”peppered with worry. It was the first time in my infernal existence where I looked like the victim! How could they ignore the poor little student who got massacred on his first day of school? How could they trust Gideon Marvell to keep his cool with all those powers? And how could he ever recover his precious reputation after the stunt he pulled?

It may have cost my frontal lobe, but I made Gideon commit social suicide.

My feet stopped sliding along the floor as knocking erupted from above. Then there was the click of a door handle and the woosh of cold air against my ears.

Another gasp, feminine, and then “Oh goodness gravy on a gopher.”

The voice had a distinct twang, the kind I’ve heard from this bizarre sinner. I can't remember his name but he, and I quote, “threw ‘em whores in my ‘gator pit in the back o’ my saloon, I did.” I eventually got him to give me a number of how many ‘whores’ died by his hand and it was twenty. Twenty women were fed alive to alligators because of that lunatic. Thankfully whoever this human was sounded much less deranged than him, but still had the accent.

Gideon took a deep breath and said, “Miss Jackson, I…” but he couldn’t continue. His ankle trembled in my grip.

“Oh darlin’ come in, come in, let’s get you inside. We’ll take care of her.” As Gideon dragged my body forward the texture of the floor changed. It was also colder and cleaner than before, not as much sand than the regular hallways.

“How did she get like this Gideon darlin’?”

Before he could answer, Mia burst into wild laughter.

“He ravished me in the sky! Fucked me raw. No condom. AHAHAHAHA!”

“N-no.” His voice was restricted, fighting back tears. “Mia that's not what… Can you stop touching me please?”

Not that I could see, but her response consisted of flirtatious giggling and metallic clinking. I assumed she was playing with his necklace again.

“You can put her on this bed, Gideon. She's probably imaginin’ things. Oh, is there another one over here on the floo—oh! Sugar honey iced tea!” There was a clattering sound and heavy breathing. “What in ‘tarnation happened to him? Who—who is this? Is he still alive?”

“Sir, the twitching.” Iggy whispered in my ear. He didn’t have to tell me twice. I jolted my shoulders and neck as if I were enduring the barest amount of shock therapy.

The feminine voice pitched higher. “Gideon, what happened to him?”

Silence sliced off my senses like a knife through the throat. Gideon quivered in the palm of my hand. After the estranged pause, there came sniffling, whimpering, and then:

“I’m sorry.” Gideon wailed like a kicked puppy. “I’m so–s–so–so s–s–sorry. I just—I just want–wanted t–to help her. But then he started being mean to me, and I didn’t know what to do! And I wanted to help, and he wouldn’t let go. He wouldn’t let go of my foot, and, and, and I didn’t want to hurt him but I—” his explanation got choked by his wretched sobbing. “Please, don’t tell my mom! Please, please, please, please. I’ll be good, I promise.”

“Sir. You are one sick bastard.” Iggy snickered, “This is fucking priceless.”

I twitched in response.

Heels clacked the floor followed by some comforting shushes and patting.

“There, there sugar, it’s all right. I’m sure you meant no harm by it. Let’s all just calm down now pumpkin pie.”

“You’re not gonna tell my mom right? Please? She’ll kill me.”

“Shush, Gideon darlin’ don’t fuss now. You go on and wash your face, take some deep breaths, there’s a good boy.”

“Okay.” His whimpering subsided.

Satan on a stick, he was such a fucking baby.

“M-miss Jackson? C-can I have a lollipop?” His voice cracked.

“Sure sweetheart, you take a lil’ sucker. Any flavor you want. You leave this all to me y’hear?”

“Mhm.” The sounds of wrappers being crinkled and his tongue licking the candy made me want to puke my guts out. Shortly after, my body got lifted off the ground.

The voice known as ‘Miss Jackson’ was much closer to my ear now. “Don't you worry Gideon, I'll take good care of Mister Badass.”

Ah.

She knew.

The sounds of Gideon leaving the room and Mia giggling came after. High pitched squeaks of rusted metal encircled me, followed by rustling fabric.

“Howdy Damian, I didn't expect to meet you so quickly, but it’s a pleasure to meet you all the same. I’m Miss Jackson, the school nurse.” I felt her hand grab mine, a very soft hand but she gave me a firm shake.

“Marvella told me you’re the only student in uniform today, and well—that’s the only darn thing I can recognize about you.”

I fucking knew it. Marvella set me up.

“Anyway cinnamon spice, whenever you feel like healing your face, you go on ahead. Mia can't see you, there's a curtain around your bed. I'll deal with the student who's actually injured, sound fair angel cake?”

Angel cake? Ugh, as if I was anything like an angel. Not a chance in Hell, or Earth, or Heaven.

I heard her leave my bedside and attend to Mia. By the sounds of things she'd lost a lot of blood, but the nurse was able to dress her wounds with ease.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Lying there, healing my bashed in head, gave me some time to think. I actually liked being pitied for a moment there. I'd never heard of anyone concerned for my safety. It was… nice.

Nobody cares about demons. Our purpose isn't to live, it's to torture, brutalize, maim, and destroy the human spirit. Dying would put a damper on that ultimate purpose. Humans get the privilege of living and their price is death. Some would say I'm alive, therefore I'm living so I ought to die too, right? No, living is different, it means you have a life to lose. Demons don't have lives. We're alive but we don't live. You can’t kill what has no life.

Although if I were a normal human, Gideon would’ve committed manslaughter. Would he get a lollipop then? Doubt it. But I wondered what it was like to have a life be ripped away. One minute I was antagonizing him, and the next was darkness. Happened in the blink of an eye. It would've been horrific if I had a life to lose.

How could humans not worry about losing their lives every second of their time on Earth? My continued existence would be eternally bound to a duty of causing pain and suffering. Humans have no such duty. Their lives are short and meaningless yet they never seem to think about death! It is a certainty upon their improbable birth—why don't they acknowledge it? They always think about tomorrow as if it's guaranteed. In that sense I understand why humans are so emotional when a life is taken. They're too stupid to prepare themselves for death. Life isn't guaranteed, it’s a fragile gift from God that they take for granted. Why he gave it to those braindead primates is a fucking mystery.

By this point I'd healed up my injuries. Other senses clicked in my mind. The smells of medical alcohol, the brightness of fluorescent lights, and the feeling of fresh saliva in my mouth.

“Hello again sir.” Iggy was curled up on my chest, swishing his tail side to side. “So what's the next step in your Master plan?” He whispered.

I flexed my jaw a bit before muttering. “I’m working on that.”

“Oh Barry?” Mia called.

At this point, Miss Jackson had stepped out of the room. It was just me and the little psycho human… alone.

I gulped.

“Uh yeah?” I called back trying to keep the nervousness out of my voice.

“So you’re like a werewolf right?”

I glanced at Iggy hoping for help. He shrugged. Neither of us knew what the hell she was talking about.

“Uh no?” I clenched my jaw.

“Are you like a vampire then? Like a sexy beast man vampire? Like a sexy beast man vampire with a huge cock?”

“Mia, I'm just a guy.”

“A guy who turned into a sexy fuckable monster, died in front of my eyes, and walked it off like it was nothing.”

I opened my mouth, but I didn't have shit to say to that. This girl was crazy, but she wasn't stupid.

“Point taken.” I had to dissuade her suspicions. Maybe if I acted less cool and used my more human speech she'd back off. “Look Mia, I don't know what to tell you. I just get claws when I'm angry and it's harder to kill me than most people. I'm a regular mutant guy just ah—I'm just like other guys, yeah. It's no biggie, it's the regular ‘sitch, ain't no sweat with being a mutant. I'm just, y'know, a badass momfucker from the block.”

Through the silhouette of the curtain, Mia's shadow turned.

“What did you say?”

I squeaked, taken aback by the sudden darkness in her. “Um uh. I'm a badass momfucker?”

The curtains drew back from behind me! One of her duplicates glared at me with the ferocity of hellfire in her eyes.

“It's motherfucker, you idiot.”

I screamed. She covered my mouth.

“Barry, Barry, Barry. Call me crazy but like, I don't think you're from Earth, right?”

I swallowed and shook my head. I know it sounds ridiculous but somehow she had this terrifying presence to her that came out of fucking nowhere. I couldn’t help it!

Her duplicate closed the bed curtain without removing her hand from my mouth. By that point Miss Jackson had come back. The original Mia was still in bed, now pretending to be asleep.

“Oh good she’s restin’. Damian darlin’, I brought your makeup kit for you. You can get yourself ready to go to detention in twenty minutes okay sugar?”

Mia locked eyes with mine. I knew what she wanted me to do. Upon removing her hand from my mouth, I said “Okay Miss Jackson.” As if I wasn't getting straddled by a crazed little human.

I know she couldn't do anything to me physically, but she was the only student at Marvell Academy who knew I was in disguise. I didn't want anyone else finding out so why risk pissing her off?

“Okay darlin’ I'll give you some privacy but if you need me just push the lil’ button by your bed. Okay? Okay.” The door clicked shut.

Mia caressed my face. “Well hello Damian. So this is what you really look like hm? Beautiful red skin like rubies, oooor blood!” She gave me a manic grin. “God you’re like, way sexier without the makeup and contacts. And… is that invis-paste?” Her fingernail dragged along my right horn, scraping off the paste to reveal what was underneath. She had my arms pinned under her legs, but even if she hadn't taken that precaution what was I going to do? If I killed this duplicate, her original form would run out the door unscathed. Call for help. Reveal my secret.

She had me.

“Damn.” I chuckled. “You’re really fucking good at this y’know?”

“Mm? Good at what?”

“Besting me.” I admitted. “So what do you want, little human? There's a reason you confronted me so cut to the chase.”

Mia tilted her head. “Aw well, I actually just like—wanted to sit on you. So I could tell if you were bigger than Gideon.”

My jaw hung slack. “Wh-what? Bigger as in…”

Her finger went to my mouth. “Aw don't worry Barry—Damian. That’s your real name right? Because you're secretly a sexy demon here to corrupt and seduce the supple young girls at the school. Mm can I be first? Pretty please?” She batted her eyes.

Her credibility, or what little she had, evaporated before my eyes.

“You came here… just to sit on my crotch?”

“Yup.”

“And just so happened to discover I'm a demon?”

“Ooooh.” Her eyes went wide. “I was hoping you'd say demon.”

“No no wait—fuck. I'm not a demon.”

“Ah! Yes you are, you said so. Oooh that's so sexy!”

Now it was my turn to cover her mouth. “Mia be quiet.” I growled.

She nodded and I let her talk.

“I'll be super quiet, but I wanted to ask before we get down to business, does demon cock taste spicy or salty?”

“Mia!”

“Salty, got it.” She stuck out her tongue again with a wink. “You are just so blushy wushy for a demon. You're like, so adorable.” She poked my chest.

I grumbled “First of all, I'm not fucking adorable. Second of all, are you gonna blackmail me or jack me around all day?”

“I'll take option two.”

“Mia.”

“Hey c’mon Damian. Why bother letting the other girls know you're like—a sexy demon?” She pressed her finger to my nose and made a little booping noise. “Don’t worry cutie. Your secret is safe with me.”

I blinked in disbelief. She wasn't going to blackmail me? No, humans didn't just trust each other to keep secrets. And from what I saw earlier this girl was clever. This had to be a trick… no.

This was a game to her.

I chuckled. “Can I be so sure? You could easily tell everyone. I'm afraid I can't risk you fucking up my plans with a mere promise.”

“Then how about I tell you one of my secrets?” She proposed. “That way if I tell, then it's like—mutually assured destruction.”

I squinted. “You’d tell me a secret just as damning as me being a literal demon from Hell? I sincerely doubt you have one of those.”

Mia flashed me another manic grin. “Sooo, then I guess you'll just have to trust me?”

“That’s not fucking happening.”

She hummed. “Okay so like—I guess I'll tell you.”

With that, the psycho leaned up close, brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear, and whispered:

“I. Love. You.”

My face became hot—with anger. Anger. I was angry. I was fucking angry and nothing else.

“So what? That won't ruin your master plans if people find out.”

“Nuh uh, if people find out you're a demon, and that I'm in love with you, then they might think I'm like—evil or something.”

“You seem pretty evil to me.”

“Why thank you.” She giggled. “Gosh that’s like—really flattering coming from you. But, I want to be a hero because all the hot guys are on the good side.”

“Yet you love me?”

“Mhm.”

“You just met me today.”

"Officially."

“And I'm a literal demon from Hell.”

“So?”

“Demons don't date. Besides, I can't love a human Mia. I am repulsed by all of mankind.”

“Oh my gosh same. We have so much in common.” She brushed a bit of hair out of my eyes. “But just think like, it’ll be extra damning for me if we’re dating and everyone finds out you’re evil. So the best way to make sure I don't tell anyone your secret is if you go out with me.”

I rolled my eyes, “I thought you liked Wonderboy.”

“Oh I did, but then he started crying like a bitch so I've changed my mind.” She leaned in closer, almost touching the tips of our noses together. In the blur of her stare and wild grin she asked, “So whaddya say hot stuff? We dating or what?”

With a pitch like that?

…

I couldn’t say no.