Ren’s vibrant eyes continued to read my face as she sat atop me. “You’re saying… we could go home at anytime?”
“I believe so.” I smiled, despite feeling like lukewarm garbage.
She clucked her tongue and slid down from my lap, standing up on the floor beside the throne instead. “I really want to be clean, Max.”
Despite all that we had been through, there was a weight to her simple sentence that struck me straight in the heart. I yearned for it, too. A waking moment where we weren’t covered in sweat, grime, and gore. To see the blue sky again.
I lifted my left arm, noticing that my STAR was golden. Deposing of the monarchy and his army had been enough to edge us to Eighteen, just as Roger had said. Although the rabbit-demon and I were on contentious terms for most of our relationship, I did miss him. The fact that he had stepped in to protect Ren of all people had earned him redemption in my eyes. I'd get a gift basket sent to his family.
With a sigh, I stood from the throne and beckoned Wolf to join us. Now more certain that the intended intimacy had been called off, he sauntered over. He looked tired. We all were.
“Did you want some position on my court, Wolf?” I asked him, unsure what I could really do at this point.
“I will never come back to this horrid place,” he replied, sneering at the dead bodies littering my palace.
“A fair answer.”
Ren kneeled down beside him and ruffled his chops. “We’re leaving here soon. You get anything good from your Eighteen level up?”
“Defensive ability. Doubles my armor and healing received, but I can’t move or attack.”
She nodded. “That pairs well with what I just got, which is an aura that constantly restores health to the whole Party. How about you, Max?”
“Ah, I hadn’t even checked yet.” I held my arm out and activated the thing.
The usual stats and other boring information went across my vision, and I mostly ignored it. My eyes had grown tired of the intangible text during our time down in this world, and I had avoided the System as much as possible in hell - just as much as it had avoided us.
Two passives gained, as usual. Nothing too spectacular. Critical hits regenerated my mana for five seconds. Dexterity now gave a percentage as armor. Nice to have, but I’d always been a bit of a glass cannon. Partially due to my own recklessness.
But the active skill was… interesting.
“Hey, Ren.” I turned my eyes away from the menus to look at her. “Can you hit me with a Smite shot?”
The elf didn’t hesitate, and with the barest of movements, flicked out a throwing knife from her belt. Radiant light burst around it, right before it buried itself in my thigh.
“Ow. That hurts more because I’m a demon,” I noted.
“I thought we swore off this manner of foreplay?” She stepped forward to pull the blade from me, a slight scowl on her face.
“No.” I shook my head. “This wasn’t… for that. I wasn’t sure if this would work, but it looks like my cards count as a magical projectile, which is enough.” Into my raised hand, a purple card appeared between my fingers. After a brief moment, it then burned into a golden glow.
Ren crossed her arms. “So I copied your skills, and now you copied mine?”
“Only if damaged, and only one at a time. Smite is probably one of the most useful things I can steal for my card attacks at present.” Entangling shots would be good too. I started to wonder if Quinn could blow me up with his boomerang, and I could copy that even using
I turned my wavering attention to the other two, who looked only seconds from begging me to take them out of here. The demonic sword had vanished. It wouldn’t be able to swap bodies like Roger used to, but I had a feeling that the blood of its victims was what kept it around longer. A very specific feeling that had to come from my innate demonic knowledge. Or I was making it up. Reality was mine for the bending.
“Alright, stand back.” I stretched my neck out. “I haven’t done this before, so… apologies if I fuck it up.” With a grin at my expectant crowd, I quickly messaged Tanya for the coordinates of their current location. The portal didn’t work quite that simply, but I made do with what I had.
My eyes closed as I stood and held my hands out. Took a deep breath. Focused.
There was a thrum of energy, and I opened my eyes again to see a doorway forming. It looked like the inside of my dressing room door - or at least a blurring of all the common ones throughout my touring life. A simple gray with a silver handle. Off-white frame that needed a dusting, and a piece of paper taped to it. Words and lines on it illegible, but I was willing to guess that it was supposed to be a set list for the evening.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
And it just stood there, on the marbled and blood-slick floor.
“Ladies and bears first,” I offered, giving them a bow.
Any apprehension we had on this working went away in a flash as Ren near darted for the door. It opened to reveal something dark beyond, not the rest of the throne room. Any clues I could gleam from the sight were eclipsed by Wolf as he pushed in straight after her, taking up the majority of the doorway as he squeezed through.
I took one last glance around my palace before following on. More of a demon than ever. I was keen to get back to becoming a great magician once more. While it had been optimistic to think we would have found another Guardian down here, we had still changed the world in perhaps a worse way. A genocide against demons, where I had toppled the ruler to claim hell as my own. Surely nothing bad would come from that.
My feet passed over the threshold, and onto soft grass. My heart melted as a cool breeze washed over me. Any thoughts that the darkness could have meant I had messed the portal up flashed away in realizing it was just nighttime. Almost as soon as I had fully traveled through the door, Ren’s hand was in mine.
Tears of relief practically poured down her face - as they did on mine, I now realized. Even Wolf looked ready to burst.
“Max! Ren! Wolf!”
We turned to the side, now spotting the two campfires raging just behind us. My eyes ached from the change in temperature and lighting, and aside from the trees silhouetted against the night sky, I hadn’t started picking out details of our surroundings.
Tanya and Quinn ran over, stopping a few feet away once they got a sight of us.
“Oh my god,” the fateweaver covered her mouth as her own eyes glistened. “You all look like living nightmares.”
I smiled, but couldn’t find the words. It had been almost four days for them, but close to a month for us. It was overwhelming and so detached at the same time. They had wanted to come in for hugs, but in seeing the sharp armor, torn clothing, blood and bile matting our hair, and soot and sweat caked bodies - well, they changed their minds rather quick.
“It has been a nightmare,” Ren offered, seeing that I was briefly tongue-tied. Her eyes went off to the side where a small cluster of buildings sat. “Are there baths in there?”
“We were going to ask you to sit and eat with us,” Quinn said, shuffling awkwardly. “So that everyone can get up to speed. In seeing you both, I think a bath would be a better start.”
My brain softened, and I allowed autopilot to take over while I dissociated a little. “Thank you, friends. We have spent almost a month fucking and murdering our way through literal hell. But I’ll say a word to the others.”
The pair nodded at us and relented as Ren and Wolf followed me to the campfires. The other two groups were there, all eyes on us. A mixture of confusion, worry, and surprise. Familiar shapes of those we briefly knew a while ago.
“Thank you for all gathering and being so patient,” I began. “Although I have returned, I am not officially here until the morning. I crave a wash and a sleep before I could even consider engaging in earnest conversation with you.”
I took a deep breath, and my eyes narrowed at the people sitting here. Their faces illuminated by the flickering flames, casting them into an all-too-familiar light. My jaw clenched.
“None of you… are demons, right?” I could feel the muscles in my arm tense up, ready to bring a card out.
A hand on my shoulder made me relax instantly. “You’d feel it if they were, trickster. Come, bathe with your queen.”
I turned and looked at the elf. She looked as terrible as I felt as our vacation caught up to us. Cracking at our psyche as we tried to fit back in the old box we were so comfortable with. I gave her a nod and left the camping adventurers to think I was crazy. I was.
Into my hand appeared a few scrolls that I handed over to Quinn as we passed. “You’re in charge of Wolf,” I told him. He could only nod.
It was hard to see the details of our journey beyond how much my eyes were watering. Before I knew it, Ren and I were in a hot water bath together. We sobbed, both in joy and relief. Constantly, sometimes with emotion and other times it just happened like a tap was switched on. We needed to empty and refill the bath three times before we could settle in it without it getting immediately dark and cloudy.
After what felt like hours, we were clean again. I carried her to the bedroom, and we consummated our marriage. Soft and tender. Two souls completely shattered, but together. She fell asleep immediately, about ten seconds before I did.
And then I awoke, as if I hadn’t slept at all. A fresh breeze rolled in through the open window, net curtains waving alongside the soft gust. Sunlight illuminated half the bed, warming the parts of me not up against the elf. I turned to her to see that she was already awake, although probably not for long, given how she still looked a little groggy.
“How strange that today feels like heaven, in comparison,” I said, leaning over to give her a kiss. I still ached too much to consider it a bad dream, but my brain was keen to move on.
“Deathforged,” she whispered. “We’re unbreakable now. Check my name.”
I raised an eyebrow and inspected her in the Party window. “Ren Russet? You took my last name?”
She nodded and smiled. “It’s not really conventional for me, but… I came to this world running away from my family. Then I spent time being a bitch, trying to organize us into the same roles I was trying to avoid. When the System offered me the name change, I took it because this is my new life. Being your family. Being strong together and making our own lives.”
“Well then, moonflower.” I ran my hand through her once-again radiant hair and cupped the side of her face. “I believe we have an audience to dazzle awaiting our reemergence.”
Ren bit her lip. “I have an idea for that. You’ll love it.”
“I’m all ears.”
“I’ll tell you once we’re dressed and ready.” She gave me a quick peck on the forehead before leaving the bed, not even bothering to obscure herself like we used to. “I’m going to run us another bath because we deserve it.”
“And so much more,” I murmured, watching her circle the bed to go to the bathroom. “I’ll catch up on inventory management bullshit. It’s been a while and if I need to perform, then I need to be prepared.”
The elf paused at the doorway and leaned against the frame. “I love you. I’ll let you know when it’s ready.”
I tipped my lack of top hat. “Love you too.”
She vanished into the other room, and I sat myself up with a groan. My Inventory had been a cluttered mess of whatever the demons had dropped, and I had little patience for organizing it while down in hell. Other than memorizing spell scroll locations, I had given up on doing most of my usual tricks. Demons just deserved to die.
I shook my head, realizing the irony.
Tabbed through from messages, to Map—we were close to the Eternal Wardens—to my Equipment, where we had gotten surprisingly few upgrades from the throne room battle. Wolf was the luckier one there with some nice boots from the former king. I skipped past my Inventory screen for now and pulled a face, jumping over to my Skills instead. It had become a very long list, with not only my actives, but two passives per level, and a handful of demonic abilities.
Switched to my Quest tab and paused. My brow furrowed.
“Ren? Did you pick up any Quests in hell?”
“No?” she called from the other room. “Other than leveling, I didn’t see any System pop-ups.”
I rolled my tongue around in my mouth. “Check your tab.”
A few moments of silence followed.
“Holy fucking shit.”