First part of the performance was the pyrotechnics. Something to let the audience know that they should buckle themselves in. The show had started. Before the stagecoach had a chance to move, a wall of fire burst up behind them, causing them to be stranded between the felled tree and the impassable flame.
“Ambush!” the one at the front yelled, far too excited for the act to begin.
Bright light illuminated the area, blinding them briefly as Quinn set his Light center stage. With soft footsteps, the main attraction—yours truly—stepped down at the top of the roof of the wagon. A wide cover of fabric shot out from me on either side. One toward the man sitting at the front, trying to stand with one arm across his face to shield his eyes. A weapon drawn into his hand. The second over the man at the back - a large fellow who didn’t seem to be fully human. He had a better idea that I was here, but hadn’t been able to react.
I drew a trio of cards into my hand. Pointing down toward the roof between my feet, I arranged them in the shape of a triangle and punched through, creating a hole into the interior. Just as soon as they had left my hand, the idol and two bottles of oil dropped in succession, landing within.
My brow furrowed. While everything appeared to be moving in slow motion, it allowed me to pick up the hint of something odd. Something unexpected - yet as soon as I clocked what it was, I knew exactly what it was.
I had found the fourth Player in their group - the stagecoach itself. Unless they had also packed the wood with blood for fun.
The brief amount of confusion it elicited in me was enough to have a knock-on effect on my timing, and I missed the short window to swap positions with my dove. We rolled with the punches, however, and the show would go on. It would just make the next few parts of the act a little more awkward.
“Pain. Intruders on Roof.” A voice bellowed out, that could only be said stagecoach that was now unhappy I had cored a new entrance into its… flesh?
With the thrum of energy, a spherical shield of blue energy encircled the living vehicle, and Ren’s first arrow bounced off harmlessly. A faux attack, in the grand scheme of things - planned in advance to see what they were capable of.
Seeing the tendrils of magical energy tether my left arm to the glowing protection magic, I activated the Dispel scroll. Their shield vanished in a puff of spent ash. The door on the right side flung open as another humanoid stepped out. Perhaps the fifth would be in there too?
Currently, my position was a wet blanket on our original plan. I’d have to- I dodged to the side as the large figure at the back of the wagon swung a sword toward me. My legs wavered as I neared the edge, but I kept my cool. Flung a handful of flowers in his face as he attempted to climb up on top with me. As he was temporarily blinded, I clicked the trigger of my best crossbow and put a bolt in his face.
I spun in place as the weapon vanished and then leaped down upon the audience member who had just made an appearance. He hadn’t the foresight to catch me properly, and only just turned in time to avoid getting my dagger in his neck. Instead, a shoulder would do. We fell to the floor from the impact and as I rolled away; I dropped the rest of my furniture wares across him. Only chairs - a varied display that did little damage but tied him in place for a few extra seconds.
The horses had remained unnaturally stoic during this whole process. Not budged an inch. Using the crackling power that now arced around me, I sent a direct message to Wolf in a split second, my eyes hitting the necessary keys with a practised precision that was almost beyond human capabilities.
[Max: Dig in]
Ren had struck the front man with an arrow, but he now had a shield to protect against further impacts. From the back of the stagecoach, the larger Shadow had risen back up, the bolt still protruding from his forehead. The one by me was recovering from the ground.
The show had become something of a mess. I raised an eyebrow at the Imp+ beside me. It could still be saved. This gentleman had made the rude mistake of leaving the door wide open. Before the sentient coach could consider closing it, things were in motion.
I broke the rules.
Threw one of the chairs up into the air and hit it with my Demonic Cannon card, which dropped from the air to land on the crawling figure, crushing his legs and the spare chairs alike. My demon threw out his fireball, the eyes of the Crimson turning to it in shock, but too slow to change its course.
Straight into the stagecoach, it exploded, setting off both bottles of oil. Amongst the flame a pulse of green, as a cloud of gas began filling the interior.
Two noises pierced the air.
The first, a howl of intense pain from the living vehicle. Something very inhuman, and yet… it almost sounded like music to my ears. Like an orchestra of violins in agony. I adored it.
Second was a roar as Wolf clattered into the front of the stagecoach, folding both horses as if they were made of paper. Even in death, they showed no fear - nor any expected movement. The coach itself writhed and creaked as it tried to shake off the inferno, burning it from within. More shattered glass sounds. The Lady’s blood, I was sure.
Large Shadow was on me before I knew it, some skill having him warp fifteen feet to me. I looked at him with cold purple eyes, as
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Almost got me too. 40% on the Power meter. Two clicked triggers and two more bolts in his head. He stumbled and dropped just as a wave of crackling power washed over me. Pain that had me clenching my teeth. The pinned Player had cast a spell on me. As he readied a second attack, the growl of my Hellhound+ drew his eyes to the side, wide with sudden panic.
I shook the buzzing from my head and stepped back toward the road. The screaming of the vehicle was subsiding, just as I watched Wolf throw the driver an easy dozen feet away with his jaws. 45% - I was running out of audience to impress. The smell of burning wood and blood filled the woodland, overwriting the pleasant evening air. Flame would eventually take over the rest of the stagecoach. Perhaps there wasn’t even much of the performance left…
No, a shadow caused me to flinch, but it was too late.
I had heard the rustle of leaves and felt the displacement of air slightly too slow to react. The fifth member of the group had found me. The half-naked woman with feathered wings grinned at me with razor-sharp teeth. In her hand, the barbed spear had found a warm home through my chest. A harpy, my strangely calm brain told me.
Couldn’t help but grin.
“Something funny, worm?” She twisted the spear, tearing up some of my internal organs.
“There’s something behind my ear,” I whispered, managing not to choke on the blood coming up through places it shouldn't.
Her angered glare turned into a scowl, although nothing as cute as what I was used to. She tilted her head to the side to see what I meant, and Ren whispered a sweet arrow to me. A line of blood just above my ear, and killing blow to the stunned harpy, now full of radiant light.
I switched places with my Hellhound+, leaving the spear behind to fall inertly to the floor with the rest of her corpse.
Popped the cork of a healing potion and put it to my lips. The pain was burning away at my chest but I soldiered through it. 50%, and interestingly I seemed to be wearing white gloves now.
An arrow hit him in the neck, but he only wavered before raising his blade once more. I smashed the potion bottle into his face, lacerating his pained expression. With the stem shard in my hand, I stabbed him again in the face, then chest, then arm. His grip released his sword, and I looted it from the air. As his other hand came up, I placed the nullification cuff on it. He was blinded and reeling.
A swift kick, and he tripped over another summoned chair, landing in a seated position on the muddy ground.
My hand up, I fired a faux gun with clenched fingers and cast
Dazzle icons shifted and faded away, replaced by something with a red cross on a black background. The large man took one last gasp of air before freezing, his skin suddenly shriveling and drying up, rapidly falling off of his bones in thick clumps. In just three short seconds, he had devolved into a skeleton surrounded by the mulch of his previous form.
I put my gloved hand up to my chest, fresh blood soaking through. Why white gloves? They’d only get ruined immediately, even from my own actions. Harpy had hit me on the wrong side of the chest, and missed my heart. The warmth of Ren’s heal came through to me, but I couldn’t see her within the darkened canopy. Surprising considering what she was wearing.
Wolf had eaten the driver, and my Hellhound+ had finished the cannon-bound man off. The stagecoach was…
My brow furrowed as a deep groan vibrated through the woods. From beneath the burning vehicle, shadows had started to form. I stepped over to my cannon, my legs feeling shaky and weak for some reason. Needed to load it with something - we hadn’t reached the grand finale, clearly.
Thick legs of darkened chitin cracked and moved out from the underside of the coach. Dragging the spent forms of the faux horses, it now rose up onto six of such sharp legs. Something like a crab or spider. I didn’t sign up for eldritch horrors, and wouldn’t let this dampen our parade.
I stepped out closer to it and raised my hand up. “Abomination. No more.”
My mundane deck flickered out of the holster, each card flitting up into the underside of my palm. With my fingers outstretched to the Monster, I stood and watched it turn toward me. A sharp leg went up into the air, ready to crush me, but I was still waiting for my cue.
A radiant flash illuminated the area, as the stagecoach became aglow with Ren’s new ability.
Time for the fireworks.
In tandem, I sent the full deck of mundane cards in a stream towards the coach alongside firing all three Zap Wands in succession. As the first of both struck my opponent and caused the flare of radiant damage, it bathed the area in bright golden light. The stagecoach shuddered and recoiled from the pain, so I hit the big red button.
My cannon fired the three hundred and fifty-four ball bearings I had accumulated on my journey. A buckshot that blinded the woodlands, causing a deafening silence to vibrate through my body, before I heard the final screech and resulting explosion.
Just in time, my eyes adjusted and saw what remained of the creature shatter into thousands of parts. Cracked like a mirror, it collapsed down into rough shards of whatever foul being it truly was.
I summoned my Fire Imp+ once more and ordered him to repeatedly strike the debris.
We would leave nothing to chance. I held up my hands to see they were no longer gloved. Just covered in blood.
Even as my Party came out of their positions and tried to talking to me, I couldn’t help but just stare at my hands, and the blood.
“Max? Max.”
I snapped out of it as Ren stood before me, a scowl on her face. “Yeah?”
“How injured are you? Feeling okay?”
Felt tired, that was for sure. “Still some internal bleeding. Minor organ damage. Some other small lacerations, probably.”
She healed me again, muttering something under her breath.
I looked past her at Quinn, Wolf, and Tanya, who had all gathered and were watching my Imp+ torch the remains of the vehicle. “Sorry,” I told them. “I feel like I cocked up the show there.”
Met with grumbled disagreements, they seemed a little out of it too. Expecting a handful of bandit-adjacent Players we had instead gone against something monstrous, alongside a chap who just refused to die. At least, until I forced the issue.
“A lot of unknowns came up,” Tanya offered. “We had to change some parts up, but we reached the same ending.”
Didn’t get to use Finale+, however, which left me a little glum. Blue-balled the showman in me who wanted that dopamine fix. I raised my hand and watched the shards of glass fall out.
Quinn rubbed at his eyepatch. “Your planning certainly saved us a lot of headache.”
I exhaled through my nose as another heal went through me. Perhaps they were right - it wasn’t so bad. We’d destroyed the courier and the blood. Lived to tell the tale. Although…
With tired eyes, I cycled up through my own icons. The look on Ren’s face as she tried to heal me didn’t fill me with much confidence. It was no normal wound - the internal bleeding continued. Ah, there it was. Persistent Bleeding - a debuff that worked like a curse to… hmm, that was pretty broken against Players. Deadly, even.
Eyes narrowed at the terrible icon, I hit
I didn’t get to see what it changed to, as there was nothing but darkness after.