We sat in a circle, steaming coffee mugs in our hands, as I explained why I had abandoned them. The voices, the demon, and the Domain causing me to act different. Not really excusing the act, but giving them the full picture. And then it was the duel with Syther, the emergence of my own Domain once again, and finally the erasure of all enemies.

“Still a shitty storyteller,” Ren murmured.

Tanya tilted her head. “So you’re saying you killed all of those zombies?”

I was hesitant to give the nod, despite knowing that I had. “As far as I am aware. I wasn’t attacked when my Domain faded, but I also couldn’t really see.”

“That’s going to be a huge setback for them?” Quinn rubbed his eyepatch. “Even with the power of a Guardian, I doubt they could bring up such a sizable force in short order again.”

“Oh.” Tanya sat forward. “That reminds me - the Eternal Wardens douche got in touch finally. Says we have to go see him if we want answers.”

I groaned. They were too far out of the way. That would set back our plans by a few days - and all for some useless lore? “I’d hate to leave this central area without usurping the necromancer first. Otherwise, he will bring about another large force of undead.”

“I know,” she agreed. “He asked which Guardian you killed, but I didn’t give him any information. It might be important, like there’s a difference in their powers? Although he tipped his hand, I couldn’t see the cards.”

As always, she was keen to impress by continuing the lingo. The Guardians granting different boons seemed… reasonable? There were still a huge amount of things I did not understand. In part because we didn’t read up on any of the world's legend along the way - but also I felt as though we were pinned in. With a barrier preventing us access to the wider world, we had been quarantined from the bigger picture.

Ren had decided to sit close by, even though she was still mad at me. The times we had been apart were few and far between, and although I managed to get by whatever the cost, she still had that worry. For the day that I didn’t come back.

My leg had clicked back together, in a way that made most of those present wince. I barely registered it and wondered if I was disassociating still. Tanya had made mention of the gash alongside my head - which I don’t remember receiving. Couldn't really call it a battle without damaging my skull in someway, however. The most worrying part of that injury was I no longer had my hat. Lost in the village somewhere.

“Is it worth going back to loot the demon? You didn’t get experience from the undead did you?” Ren furrowed her brow.

I shook my head. “No experience. It would be dangerous to return. They’ll either be on the hunt for us or they’ll be on the move to consolidate near Candlekeep.”

Her head tilted. “So sure of their plans?”

“Without access to blood and with their groups being cut down by the day, it would make the most sense for them to hedge their losses and combine into one unit to assault the city.”

Tanya nodded along with my thoughts. “That’s the most pragmatic thing to do. Otherwise, she’ll be losing most of her power through attrition.”

“Which is what we want,” Ren surmised.

We each murmured our agreements, but there seemed to be little else we could do at present. Most of my wounds could be healed away, leaving me with the exhaustion and Trauma. They wouldn’t allow me to whisk it away to something else, and… I supposed I agreed with them. Trouble was, they might not want me to adventure at all today, and we didn’t have the time to sit around.

I was gradually working up the courage to tell them I would soldier on, when Ren placed her hand on my knee. My eyes went up to meet hers, and although she looked emotionally drained, some of the ire had worn away.

“Look… I won’t keep going on at you over this. All I will say is, you need to stop suffering alone. Not everything is your sole burden. If we did the show together and I was sitting beside you right now with a broken leg and bloodied suit, I would still be ten times happier than I am being fine but left out.”

My tongue caught in my mouth. It wasn’t just about her being worried for my safety, but my constant need to try to keep her safe by absorbing danger like a magnet. I kept saying we were a partnership, but I was too scared myself to allow her to be an equal in everything.

“You don’t have to say anything.” She gave me a soft smile. “I can read your eyes like a book, trickster.” The hand on my knee gave it a squeeze.

If anything, I was glad I had given her that foot massage earlier - otherwise she would be a few levels more annoyed at me. I was mentally making light of the situation, because the weight of what I wanted to say felt oddly prophetic despite how simple the arranged words were.

“I won’t leave you behind again.”

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Her eyes brightened and read my expression. A tentative couple of seconds before she nodded. “I believe you.”

Wolf shifted his weight into my chair and turned his head up to glare at me. “What about me?”

I smiled and looked around the group who had just been audience to the elf and I hashing out our emotional fragility. “Of course. Next time, you’ll all be up on stage with me.”

Tanya rolled her eyes. “Perhaps then one of us could stop you from half killing yourself performing tricks.”

“It does seem as though your Domain just causes you injury,” Quinn agreed.

I shrugged, but maintained my smile. Some truth to their statements. What would have happened if I had gone back with them? No doubt the zombie horde would have continued to pursue us until we were found. Syther was intent on getting his revenge after all. Perhaps we could have prepared the cottage area to expect such an assault? It would be putting us in a last-stand scenario again, which we were keen to avoid.

At the end of the day - or whatever time it currently was - there was no use debating over the what-ifs. The demon’s Domain had pushed me into making the selfish decision. My unfettered power turned the tables on him, but it could have easily gone the other way. Even worse if we had all stayed.

“We need to go level,” I eventually announced. “As I have Trauma, I will have to sit back and just leech your efforts. Tanya, any repeatable Quests down towards the southeast?”

“Back that way?” Her brow furrowed. “Let me check the Map.”

“Ren.” I turned to the elf. “I’ll need you to be our eyes while we travel. If we are being tracked, then I want an arrow through their neck before the rest of us even see them.”

She gave me a nod. “Your fragile skull is safe with me, baby bird.”

As much as I tried to ignore the new pet name, I couldn’t help but pull a face in response - much to her amusement. “Wolf and Quinn follow whatever direction Tanya gives you. We need to hit level thirteen today. No excuses.”

It was a bit much for me to be bossing them about after what I had done, but in some ways they needed to see I was still in peak form. Persistent injuries and missing hat aside, I was.

We packed up our chairs, and Tanya sent a location over. Hour and a half of travel. My left leg was aching and sore, but she passed me the painkilling idol and it soothed away the worst of it. Wolf led from the front. Ren stuck like glue to me in the middle, her bow out and ready as soon as we started off. Quinn and Tanya held the rear.

“Sure you don’t want to go back for your hat, trickster?” She raised an eyebrow at me.

Couldn’t deny that I had considered it. “No. I have all that is important to me right here.”

“Mushy shit won’t get you back in my good books.” She tutted. “But… it smoothes over the process. You still owe me for the Shuffle bullshit, and you pulled this off? Dickbag.” She nudged me with her elbow, her eyes not showing the disdain that her furrowed brow signaled.

“I should have saved the foot rub for now, huh?”

She rolled her eyes and looked away.

I still had much to learn about… well, everything, really. I’m not sure where the break between normal human, slime killing adventurer, and demonic charmer had come about. Perhaps I shouldn’t give myself too much props on the last one until I’d patched things over with Ren.

When they say history had a habit of repeating itself, I didn’t think it would be on such a regular basis. My head injuries. Being humbled when my Party cared for my well-being. Hurting myself gaining new power to the ire of those closest to me.

“For all that the System does to try to get me alone, I have realized one thing.” I squinted as the afternoon daylight ground away at my tired eyes. “I do not do well on my own.”

Ren turned back to me. “I’m pretty sure you could bullshit and solo anything at this point.”

I shook my head. “Maybe, but every time it happens, I fall a little further. Injure myself in becoming more of a monster.”

“You’re not a monster, Max.” She sighed. “Just an asshole who thinks he can win. Mostly, you can and do.”

Perhaps if they had been present during my Domain uses, she might have a different opinion. I always felt… uncontested within them. As if the System itself hadn’t considered that it might have demons with such power. Was it making do with what it thought I should be allowed, or was I creating my own power unchallenged?

I brought up my Chat as messages beeped in.

[Ruby: <{o>o}>?]

[Ruby: Are you okay?]

[Max: I still live.]

[Ruby: Something to do with your arm?]

[Max: Rolo’s twin.]

[Ruby: Ah, shit! I guess you won.]

[Ruby: Don’t tell her I told you this…]

[Ruby: But Fiona was pretty worried about you!]

I spent a second cycling back, realizing that I had messaged the fighter instead of Ren or my Party in my injured haze.

[Max: I roughed myself up pretty bad - how’s things there?]

[Ruby: Peachy~]

[Ruby: Taking it slow, most people here are not chucklefucks.]

[Ruby: Maybe coming back there in a few days?]

[Max: Oh! I’ll keep you updated if anything big happens.]

[Ruby: Thanks, Max! <{^>^}>]

I didn’t have the stomach to go back through the log of messages the Party had sent me after the scroll incident. Instead, I sighed and closed it down. Took to looking at the scenery.

There was a silence between the elf and I that was a little uncomfortable. I had thrown an ice cube into our love nest and now we were both trying to squirm away from it to avoid the chill. I hadn’t even clocked that my suit was half tatters - the other half soaked with blood or zombie mulch.

With a furrowed brow at the state of my outfit, I switched to my underwear so that my suit could repair. There must be some way of getting a spare…

“Max!”

My eyebrow raised as I turned away from the screen to Ren. “What?”

“Seriously? In the middle of the day?” She had gone a little flush, but was mostly concerned that I might have hit my head harder than it looked.

I checked downstairs to make sure I was actually wearing some form of undergarments - which I was. So, I shrugged. “You’ve seen it all. I’m sure Wolf does not care. Tanya has certainly seen a lot worse, and Quinn needs to know what he is going to die for, surely?”

“Something worthy,” the fixer murmured from the back.

Ren shot them a glare, but I was correct on all accounts. “It’s not just that. What if we are attacked?”

“Technically, I am still in my equipped gear, so I still have my Stats.” My armor value was in a ditch at the best of days, being a caster. Semi-nudity was only a short step down. “Plus, I have Trauma, so I’m not allowed to get involved.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You’re really going to sit out while we farm System-created?”

“I won’t lift a finger. Not even to summon a hound.”

At first, she looked as though she might make an exception, before eventually shrugging the notion away. “Words are one thing. Let’s see it first.” Her eyes went back out to keeping watch.

It made sense. After all, seeing was believing.