Chapter 9

“You know I like redheads,” Aiden joked.

“No,” Suzi rolled her eyes.

She did not find him as funny as he thought she should.

“Fine,” he resigned. “So, where are you going to find a cabana boy of the void?”

She tapped her temple.

“The demon?” he asked, partially confused, partially surprised.

“Yes. If I can learn to control Judas, she handled him easily enough. I might be able to take him to the void and force him to help me.”

“I don’t know, my love.” This was the first time he called her that in over two years. It was almost out of habit. “It sounds dangerous. You’ve never been to the void as Judas, and you said even ‘Suzi’ is a persona in that other place –“

“Guillermo,” Suzi interjected.

“Yeah. So how do you know you can be Judas in the void? What if the demon has backup in the void and Judas gets overwhelmed?”

“I don’t know, but I feel like I have to do something. Otherwise, I’m stuck in the middle of this with no answers.”

“Okay. How about this – Let’s do some research first. Then if we find enough evidence that says it is safe, we’ll set up a way that you will be monitored and not fall on a mirror.”

“Fine. But I have to get out of here first.”

“I’m sure you’ll be discharged in the morning. On the bright side, you should have met your medical deductible.” Aiden smirked.

Suzi rolled her eyes.

“If you are ok, I’ll go to your apartment and clean-up the blood.”

“I’m fine.”

“Ok. I’ll go and be back later tonight.”

He leaned in and kissed her on the lips, but she did not reciprocate. He left the room.

Suzi wanted to visit Guillermo, but she ended up in the void the last time she tried that without a mirror. She thought about trying to meditate again and go to the void but decided she’d wait for Aiden’s plan to pan out.

She wanted to call Aiden, but she didn’t have her phone. She didn’t even ask him to bring her phone when he came back. She hoped he would consider it on his own. The room had a phone, but she couldn’t reach it. She sat up, wincing at the pain in her left side. She slowly turned and moved to the edge of the bed and touched her feet to the floor. She tried to stand.

“Nope.”

She quickly changed her mind. No phone for her. She was bored again. She looked around. No mirror. She laid back.

“Fuuuck,” she sighed, exasperated, half from boredom, and half from the pain.

The sexy, sultry, slutty, promiscuous nurse Sylvia strutted in carrying a food tray. Her red hair was a bit more mussed than it was before.

“I thought you might be hungry, so I thought I’d bring you something to eat.”

Suzi was not sure if Sylvia understood the double entendre. “Thanks, but I’m not really hungry.”

“That’s alright. It’ll stay warm for you,” she said suggestively. She smiled and sat the tray on the rolling cart beside the bed. “Once the doctor finishes his rounds, he will be coming in,” she said with a smile.

Suzi was now confident she did understand the entendre.

Suzi smiled but said nothing. She thought about asking Sylvia to move the phone closer to her but did not want to encourage the saucy minx any further than she already had after asking her for a ménage à trois. Syliva left. The plastic tray beckoned, its contents a curious mix of sustenance and monotony. She rolled it closer, drawn by the aroma of reheated meals and the promise of something—anything—to break the tedium.

The tray held its secrets: a plastic-covered salad, a sugar-free fruit cup, and a cup of steaming water. The tea bag dangled like a forgotten wish, while instant coffee packets lay in neat rows, their potential energy waiting to be unleashed. Creamers, sweeteners, salt, and pepper—all the essentials for survival in this bland universe—were neatly arranged. And there, at the center, a flat metallic pan covered a mystery. Suzi lifted the lid, revealing a landscape of blah: green beans, mashed potatoes devoid of butter, and a slice of unidentifiable meat drowned in gravy.

But it was the unexpected that stole her attention. Amidst the steam-kissed condensation, a yellow square clung to the lid. Sylvia’s bold handwriting declared, ‘For a good time, call Sylvia,’ followed by a phone number and a heart.

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“Christ, she is persistent,” Suzi mumbled to herself as she pulled the note off and crumpled it up.

She tossed the note at the trash but missed it and replaced the tray cover. She grabbed the fruit cup, picked up the spoon, and began to open the cup. Then she stopped. She stared into the food tray cover. She could see herself. It was reflective. It might work as a mirror.

She put the cup down and pulled the metal cover off the tray. Suzi’s gaze lingered, tracing the distorted contours of her face. She exhaled onto the tray, polishing it with the edge of the bedsheet. Imperfect, but it might suffice. She squinted, focusing on the almond-shaped smudges that were her eyes. Desperation fueled her determination. She concentrated, filling in the elements of her irises from what she remembered, as she could not make them out here. Her head hurt. This wasn’t working.

She tried various surfaces of the lid, repeating her cleaning techniques multiple times. Finally, the top yielded results. Suzi held it up, almost touching her eye, as she felt the darkness of Guillermo settling in.

The dissected condo of her personalities came into view. Suzanne practical and hungry, perused a cookbook. Judith, tapping her perfectly white teeth with a pencil eraser, lost in a book at her desk, a dangling Jimmy Choo shoe from her toes. James admired his new Coach bag and Kate Spade earrings. Spike was rocking out to Nirvana. Judas was a statue. Naked, but uncaring. Unflinching. Unmoving. Standing at attention, waiting for orders. Radiant.

Although not one of her personalities, Azailkahbil sat in the corner of his cage room.

Annie was missing. Her room was empty. Her room was still a mess with all of Annie's clothes, lingerie, sex toys, a stripper pole, and her THC gummies, as usual, but the persona herself was gone.

“Where the fuck is Annie?” she asked the collective.

The group looked confused, except Judas, who didn’t change. The din of ‘I don’t know’s and ‘Is she not in her room?’ filled Suzi’s ethereal ears.

“Good riddance,” Judy opposed.

Azailkahbil stood and looked confused. “Jaha yeccik qib ug” – ‘You passed her on.’

“I did what?” she said, angrier than she intended, her voice almost an ominous roar.

Azailkahbil shook and repeated, “Jaha yeccik qib ug. Jaha itubjocx giba.” – ‘You exorcised her.’

Terror filled her. She did not know what this meant. She lost one of her personas. ‘Passed on’ means ‘died’. An ‘exorcism’ to a demon would mean ‘death’. How did she kill Annie?

Judas stepped forward, out of her room, grasped the place from which Suzi was visualizing all of this with both hands and pulled her on like a mask as Guillermo faded away and was replaced by the hospital room. Suzi was awake in reality, but Judas was in control. Her body pushed aside the tray table, sat up, turned, and planted her feet on the floor in a militaristic fashion.

“Stop!” Suzi screamed in her head.

Judas did not comply. Her body stood as pain rippled through, but Judas ignored it. Her hand ripped the IV out of her other arm. She walked to the door, opened it, and stepped into the hall.

“Stop!” Suzi screamed at Judas again.

Like a tank, she stormed down the hall, looking at the closed doors of the rooms as she passed by. As Judas walked, Suzi saw all the colors and shapes of the void overlaying the walls and doors of reality.

“Holy fuck! Do we have x-ray vision?” Spike gasped.

She passed an empty nurse’s station and finally stopped at a door that read, ‘Clean Linen’. Suzi could see a light blue person and a pink person holographically projected onto the door. Judas pushed the door open to see Sylvia and a doctor in the same configuration as the holograms, which were now projected over their bodies instead of the door. Sylvia was half sitting on a washing machine, naked from the waist down with her scrub shirt over one breast, currently covered with the doctor’s mouth. Her legs wrapped around his nude bottom half, moaning in ecstasy as he thrust himself in and out of her.

Judas stepped to the doctor and shoved him aside without hesitation or effort. Staggered and panicked, the doctor scrambled on the floor trying to pull his scrubs up.

Startled at first, but turned to happy surprise, Sylvia smiled and put her arms around Suzi’s neck. “Mmmm. You changed your mi… urk!”

Her comment was cut short as Judas’ hand locked around Sylvia’s throat. Startled again and her eyes wide, another smile crossed Sylvia’s face. She liked it. Judas held on tight and stared deep into Sylvia’s eyes. Suzi saw what Judas saw. She saw Sylvia’s ‘Guillermo’. She saw Annie in Sylvia’s head. Annie was making Sylvia lose her inhibitions and become a sex-crazed lunatic.

“Annie,” she heard Judas’ voice whisper, then she kissed Sylvia passionately.

Suzi could feel Annie leave Sylvia’s body and get reintroduced into the collective. She felt drunk or high. She felt ashamed. She felt dirty. She could see Sylvia’s aura change from a bright pink to a pale yellowish-green.

Judas resigned as soon as the transfer was over, and Suzi was back in charge. Still lip-locked with Sylvia, the pain exploded from her ribs, and she doubled over, head-butting Sylvia in the nose. Her moans of passion were now screams of pain. Suzi collapsed to her knees and put her right hand on her left side. She could feel the warm blood oozing through the gauze. She pulled her hand from under the gown to confirm her suspicion.

The doctor helped Suzi to lay fully on the floor. “Lay still. I’ll get some help.”

With his pants up and secured, he took a few steps to the door, stuck his head out, and yelled for a nurse and wheelchair. He came back and knelt next to Suzi. He grabbed something white, soft, and folded from a nearby shelf and held it to her side.

Sylvia, crying and trying to hold her nose with one hand, did her best to pull her top down and her pants up. “What the hell did you do to me, you crazy bitch?”

“Syl… not now,” the doctor barked.

The door opened, and a woman pushing a wheelchair, followed by another man, entered the room.

“Help me get her into the chair,” he told the other man.

The nurse held the chair as Suzi whimpered and groaned as they helped her off the floor and sat her in the chair.

“What happened?” the chair-pushing nurse asked.

“She attacked me!” Sylvia threw out.

“Aww. Our love’s not real?” Suzi heard the J personality’s voice in her head say.

The doctor held up his hand to Sylvia, dismissing her outburst. “I’m not sure, but let’s get her back to her room and examine the damage.”

The three left Sylvia to cry alone and pushed Suzi back to her room.

They got her back in her bed and removed the gauze. The doctor examined her side.

“You popped your stitches, but it’s nothing major.” He turned to the male nurse, gave him a list of needed supplies, and returned to Suzi. “We’ll get you numbed and patched back up.” He addressed the remaining nurse who had pushed the wheelchair. “Let’s get the IV started again and get some pain meds in her.”

“Yes, doctor,” she said and began unlocking a cabinet.

“You’ll be just fine, Suzi,” the man said, turning back to her.

“I’m sorry,” Suzi told him.

However out-of-character this was for her to apologize, she had no control of her body and felt guilty for the coitus interruptus.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s been a weird night.”