"Deborah!"

Nilrem's voice brought me back from being lost inside my thoughts. I thought to myself such wake up call was necessary.

"Yes…Headmaster..."

"Did you remember anything?"

The witch wearing gray robe asked.

"No…unfortunately…"

I told her the truth, which was replied with a sigh from Nilrem. The woman seemed understandably tired, since her effort was wasted on someone who couldn't regain any clue of her own past.

"A week has passed since then, if you really can't recall anything then maybe it is truly hopeless. I even took the effort to show you the grave of Dargoth…"

Just like what she said, we were currently standing at the highest place of Melas castle, before the final resting place of Great Demon King Dargoth…and my supposedly grandfather.

"And I thought it would make a spark in your memory if I lead you to his grave. Seems like my theory was wrong after all. Only time may tell if you can remember anything."

Maybe she was right. Only a week had passed ever since my awakening. Maybe I was too hasty in finding a way to recover my past. If I kept forcing it like this, I wouldn't be able to gain anything meaningful.

The snow was falling. It was already the beginning of Winter, yet I could barely feel the cold from the snowdrops. Was it because of me being trapped inside that ice for God knows how long? Or was it because of something else? Either way, it was unnatural, my whole existence was unnatural, and I couldn't even know what was wrong with myself to make me feel better…

This place was at the topmost of the castle, a flat roof remodeled to become my grandfather's tomb. In the center of this bland and lifeless roof lied Dargoth's grave. Yet, it didn't look anything like a proper grave: it was a big slab of stone with a line of letters carved on it, more like a memorial than a grave for the deceased. The content carved on the stone was rather short and ambiguous:

To Dargoth Draconis.

In memory of your sacrifice to the world.

I touched my hand onto his grave. I felt nothing but the stone's hard surface. No sudden spark of emotion or memory. If he was truly my grandfather, then I must have some memories of him hidden inside my heart. That was what I thought, but it turned out to be a false hope. I couldn't recall nor feel anything toward my grandfather. Was it because he died before I was even born? Or because of something else?

The witch Nilrem did tell me some information about myself, but only what she deemed enough. I only knew my name, Deborah Draconis, and my relation with someone the demons called the Great Demon King Dargoth, my grandfather. Everything was still shrouded in a mystery I was unable to solve, no matter how hard I tried.

"We should return, Deborah."

I accepted Nilrem's plea, and returned inside the castle, leaving the memorial tomb alone on the roof under the heavy snow. It was sad, not because I didn't remember my feelings toward my grandfather, but rather because his final resting place was so lonely without anyone by his side, there was only Dargoth's remains here. Death was still an unfamiliar concept to me. I didn't know what is beyond the reach of our mortal vessel. What would his spirit feel if he knew his resting place was like this, I wondered?

"Why didn't you tell me more about myself, Headmaster?"

I asked as we walked down the lonely stairways.

"Even if I did, would you accept what I said as the truth? You could barely accept your own name, considering the doubt you have."

The woman replied without batting an eye to my side.

"It's natural for me to have doubt."

I answered. I just wanted a way to fill this emptiness in my heart.

"You have too much doubt for someone who were recently awoken from her slumber."

I got what she tried to say. I was being too impatient, like a child making a fuss for the thing they want. Yet…

"Beside, it's not like I don't have doubt of my own…"

The Headmaster stopped her feet for a moment before quickly resuming her track.

"Nevermind…forget what I said…"

I felt like saying something, but didn't. I kept following her around, either because I had no other things to do, or because I just wanted something else out of the ordinary to happen. My first week after the awakening was spent rehabilitating myself back to health. I mostly stayed indoor, with only books containing knowledge of this world provided by the Headmaster to help me kill time. My domain just changed from some sort of dungeon to a lonely room, it wasn't too different from before. But…

…today was my first time to be allowed outside. I still desired to see more, to know more, about this world I found myself in, about the people inhabiting it. Maybe I would find something that I wanted. I didn't know, but maybe my true calling didn't lie in remembering the past, but to search for it in the future awaiting me, perhaps…

"Hmm…So it's that time already, heh? In a blink and it's already here."

Nilrem's sudden stop and monologue put me to a halt. From this part of the hallway, we could see the castle's courtyard, which was packed with people wearing black cloaks. They were mostly youths and varied in races.

"Who are they?"

I asked the witch.

"My beloved students, Deborah. I think I haven't told you this yet, but this place, Dargoth's castle, is currently being used as Melas Military Academy. The students come here to train on how to fight better."

"Why would they want to do that?"

Why would people desire to learn how to fight? Why actively seeking to harm others? I didn't understand. Wasn't it better if nobody fight? If no one fights, then no one will get hurt, that was what I thought.

"To uphold Dargoth's legacy, Deborah my dear."

The witch answered.

"Dargoth picked this castle in the middle of nowhere, far from demon civilization, just to attract the attention of the Heaven Realm's heroes away from his subjects. Alone, without any army by his side, he stood firm in this place as the Realm's protector til his ultimate death."

I had read about this in one of the books Nilrem sent me. His death was caused by someone named Erdrick, the Savior. For all his strength and power, death still came for him and took him away from this world. But, for some reason, thousand years later, they still praised his name like he was here just yesterday. I didn't understand…

"As educators, we aim to keep Dargoth's will alive among these youths. These are dark times, Deborah. The humans loom at our door, waiting for a chance to strike. I'm afraid that eventually they will march their forces to this castle, aiming to take it down and conquer everything past this place on the map…"

The humans…I saw the pictures in the books. For some reason, they looked rather similar like me and Nilrem. Was I a human? My appearance suggested so, but something inside me told me I'm different from them. About Nilrem, I thought it was because of the origin of her race, the Witches and Warlocks, being traitors who severed their blood bond in search of dark knowledge of the demons. But about myself…I really didn't know. Maybe it had something to do with why was I being kept inside that ice block.

"Which is why…we must be ready when that time arrives. I didn't live this long just to see this castle fall again…"

"If defending this place is so important…then why are they leaving?"

From the farthest of the courtyard where the gate lied came carriages attached to the back of some sort of big, fluffy wolves. Every time a carriage came inside the courtyard, several students took their luggages and boarded the carriage. It didn't seem like they would come back to this castle tomorrow and the day after that.

"Oh silly you. They're departing for their home. It's New Year, a holiday. Do you know what a holiday is?"

"I think…I don't…"

The witch in grey laughed, which only made me feel embarrassed like a baby who said foolish things to her mother.

"It's a special occasion for families to gather around. It's…objectively nothing special, they just come home to see each other, enjoy good food, having good wine, getting good sleep. Just like your everyday activities …"

Nilrem suddenly smiled.

"Yet somehow, even if it's just the ordinary things you do, the occasion itself makes them special. The old year ends, and a new one arrives. It will be your first time of the year to see your family, your first time of the year to enjoy good food, your first time of the year to drink the wine you prepared, and of course, your first chance to sleep in before getting yourself back to work. Funny thing holiday is."

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

The woman seemed to enjoy herself, but soon Nilrem reminded herself she's still the Headmaster and sternly continued the conversation.

"They aren't here to learn fighting for fighting;s sake, Deborah. They are here to learn how to protect their home, their friends, their loved one. The New Year is a rare occasion for them to remind themselves what are they learning and fighting for. An acceptable break from their duty."

"I see…"

I blandly replied. It was not like I didn't understand, but it was still hard for me to comprehend everything she said. Home, friends, family…I didn't know any of those things…

"They are smiling…"

"Like I said, it's New Year. They are happy, Deborah. They are on their way to come back home to their loved ones."

Home…Happiness…

"Where is my home, I wonder…?"

My question put the woman in gray in silence. Nilrem only replied a minute later.

"I would say that this place is your home…but I don't think you'll accept it just yet."

Nilrem turned to my direction and stared at me in the eyes. She was serious in this conversation.

"I see. So I am alone this world after all…"

I no longer have any family, any home, any friends, any loved one…Then why was I here? For what purpose? Why was I released from that ice block inside that dungeon? Why? Why…? Once again, I asked questions, but no one would grant me the answers that I want…

"Should that really be the case, I wonder?"

Nilrem spoke.

"Would you let your past haunt you forever, Deborah? I ask of you, what is it you really want?"

What I really…wanted?

"I am your ally, Deborah, but I can't help you if I don't know what is it you truly want? Is it answers for the past? Or guidance for the future? I can help you with the later, but not the former. Your desire will define yourself. Give me a reason why you should be here, away from your prison."

A reason…I…

There was only thing that I truly desired.

"I just want…to be happy."

----------------------

「East Ward – Around 3 A.M」

The girl suddenly wakes up from a brief nap. She looks dazed, but for good reason.

Deborah never think she would doze off in the middle of guard duty. As a Dragon, she always has energy to spare, but to think she would suddenly feel tired and weak to the point of falling asleep…This is the first time Deborah experienced something like this.

'That dream…why was I having a dream like that?'

Out of all things she can have dreams about, why did it have to be what happened a year earlier? Why something so specific like that? Deborah keeps asking herself, but soon she gives up knowing she doesn't have the answers for everything she asks.

'Maybe it's because of the seal's removal…'

Either way, the red-haired girl can't keep lying on the cold castle wall for a nap forever. She stands up and feels the breeze of the night's wind flowing through her hair, bringing along with it the smell of the dead. On a part of the castle wall nearby, there lies a line made up from bodies of fallen soldiers from both sides, almost all of them died by her hands. The least she could do as the victor was to help gather and arrange their bodies until this siege end, so that they can be quickly recognized by their comrades. Demon soldiers, skeleton soldiers, human soldiers, including the faux general Gust. Everyone who died in this ward are already here, but Deborah knows these numbers are just a very small part of a greater tragedy befalling this whole place. Men kill men, men make more men to kill more men. A neverending cycle…

'Why did it have to be this way…?'

Deborah starts to reminiscent to the time where things were still simple from the perspective of someone like her. Even though it was not all fun and rainbow, Deborah still considers the one year experience she had prior as precious. Not even once did she think it would lead her to this kind situation.

No matter how many times she washes her hands and changes her clothes, the blood she spilled today will forever leave a stain on her body. She is now truly a part of this world full of killers and bloodshed.

'It's already too late for me…'

Seeing it won't help her getting better, Deborah stops brooding and resumes her watch. All the demon and skeleton soldiers are dead, only she remains to stand guard in the whole east ward. Even though this place isn't a top priority target for the humans, it's still a strategic position that requires protection. Deborah just hopes her presence and the terror she brought to the humans today are enough to make them stay away from this place.

'The noises…they stopped.'

As Deborah patrols the castle wall, she notices the eerie silence from the west wards. Before she dozed off, Deborah still remembered the noises from the night attack by the humans at the west side. The silence indicates that either the humans are defeated, or both sides are truly exhausted at this point of the siege. Either way, maybe Deborah will finally have the brief peace she desires after all.

Deborah continues walking along the castle walls. Only the wind, the moon and the night keep her company. She stays silent, but also keeps herself from having too many complicated thoughts. Right now, she has a mission to do, and the girl intends to fulfill it without any distraction.

But…

'I wonder how he's doing…'

Deborah can't help but worry for her familiar. They parted way not on good term and found themselves separated by a war they didn't see coming. Even so, the brief time she spent with him is enough for her to at least concern for his welfare, considering he's the gungho type who will get himself in dangerous situations just because death doesn't scare him. When Deborah thinks about it like that, the more she becomes worried, since Akuma will do exactly that without her keeping him in check.

But…she can't do anything right now. She has her own mission, and he maybe has his. They are on their own for the moment. If he doesn't do anything foolish, maybe they'll meet again and Deborah will have the chance to berate him for their conversation before this war. There's no way she'll let him get off scot-free like that!

"Haha…"

Suddenly, Deborah smiles. She herself doesn't know why, but it proves to be an effective distraction from the bloodshed around her. Either way, she feels a bit better, enough for her to gain the strength to go on to fight and protect this place.

More time passes, and finally Deborah returns to her original position prior to her patrol duty. There seem to be no noticeable problems regarding the walls in the east ward. Deborah can afford to relax for a bit, but ultimately she still has to remain vigilant as a guard.

'I feel weird…'

What Deborah is feeling right now is similar to fatigue…and hunger. This is the first time Deborah experiences the feeling known as "hunger". As a Dragon, Deborah directly absorbs energy from the earth to operate, so she has no need for food consumption to sustain her mortal body. Dragons eat for the pleasure of eating itself, but there are hardly any noteworthy cuisines in the land of demons to sastify the appetite of these gourmets. Deborah only eats when she feels like eating, but nevertheless, she never know that "hunger" does exist inside of her.

'Is it another effect from the removal of the seal? But it's only the first layer…'

Suddenly, a smell passes through her nose, in a similar vein to a child coming home for dinner, being led by the smell of food in the kitchen. But there is no kitchen in this cold castle wall, nor a loving mother to cook food for her. The only thing that keeps Deborah company are the corpses of the fallen soldiers. Yet, terrifying so, the smell that passes through Deborah is the smell of blood from the fallen corpses, even though they are supposedly dried as of now.

But…for some reason, it's still so strangely alluring to the mind of Deborah. Her eyes suddenly redden, her nails grow into claw and her teeth sharpen into fangs. But Deborah successfully restraints herself before she lets her body control her mind. The claws from her hands are sunk deep into her palm from her own impulse. Blood flows from her wound, but the pain reminds her of who she is. Her eyes return to normal, and so are her nails and teeth.

She falls to her knee, almost on the verge of crying, but she doesn't cry, Deborah is more angry than sad.

'I will not let myself stoop that low…!'