「Melas Main Castle – Nightfall」

Before my departure from the student council workshop, I give a re-check to my equipment, just to be sure.

One fully loaded handgun. Eight fifteen-round 9mm magazines. Several syringes of drug made from Spirit Calling flowers. Four pipe bombs. Three smoke bombs that I made in my free time. One RG bomb in case I need to blow some stuff up, and several herbs and pain killers. All of them are under my shock-resistant reinforced cloak. A bit heavy in total, but I can manage somewhat. There are still several supplies that I stored in this room beforehand, like another RG bomb, but I feel these are the limit I can carry. With all of them under my disposal, I am ready for battle, physically maybe, but not mentally.

I don’t think I have what it takes to kill a human being.

Ever since the siege started, I lent my help to the non-combatants, since I just recently recovered from my wounds back in the Familiar competition. I was tasked with creating more medicines since the supplies the infirmary simply weren’t enough. That’s fine by me, since I am currently unfit to wield a sword and fight, and even if I was, I think I would got myself struck down moments the fighting start.

It may sound a bit pathetic, but I’m the kind of guy who feel comfortable with shooting people behind a rock. Sure, it’s still killing people, but it certainly won’t make you feel dirty like personally striking people down with swords and spears. Even so, killing is still killing. It’s never easy to kill someone for the first time.

I wonder where was the strength that helped me pull the trigger to shoot Amadia that day…It was the first time I shoot someone. Sure, she’s not exactly human, but she’s still a humanoid living being. Even when my own life was also at stake back then, it took me some time hesitating before I could do the deed.

But now, the real killing will soon start. I won’t have time to hesitate. Either me, or them, and I certainly won’t throw my life just for some random humans in another world.

I take a deep breath. The ivory moon light brightens the student council room.

“When did everything go so wrong…?”

Just a week before, I was having fun with Kardia in this workshop. We had tea, we made weapons and explosives and drugs, we chatted about what was edible in the cafeteria and what should be used as biological weapon. Back then, the worst worries we had were the upcoming final and the prospect of me dying in the familiar contest.

But now, in just the span a day, the war at the frontier came to us knocking. I find myself having to grow from a cadet to a soldier. From someone who learn, to someone who kill. It’s not an easy test to pass, and not a test where you can redo again when you fail.

I walk toward the workshop’s bookshelves. There is something inside a small glass showcase, displaying itself like a unique antique.

It’s a gun. A handgun the same type as mine, but white in color.

A spare handgun, made by Kardia when she expressed curiosity at my original handgun. Her crafting skill is much superior than mine, it didn’t take her much trouble to make a perfect replica of my gun. She said that should I find the need to use another gun, just take this one. Of course, I would like to use two guns at the same time, but I lack the skill to properly use one, let alone two at the same time.

I just want to see it once more before I go, since it’s the proof of me and Kardia’s friendship.

“I hope you’re still okay, Kardia.”

She already departed to her home of Annwn the day before I woke up, or so I heard from some teacher. It’s very lucky for her, if she stays longer, she may find herself in the same situation as mine. I just wish she’s still fine. Nobody knows what will happen in a war, after all.

“Well, time to stop talking to myself.”

Maybe if I hole myself up inside this place and wait, the war will be over eventually. But that’s just wishful thinking, and I’m not going to be a coward by hiding away when people die around me.

“Oh, forgot one more thing.”

I search the inside of my stuff. Right, my most important thing.

Mr.Cat.

“You stay here.”

I put the black cat puppet glove near the showcase of Kardia’s gun. This may hurt him a bit, but I have no use for Mr.Cat in the war to come. I intend to kill my enemy with bullets, not with laughter.

“Sorry.”

I quickly depart from the student council room before I have any second thoughts.

…

The castle is awfully quiet. Well, given that both sides have been fighting all day, obviously they need some time to rest and recharge before going at it again.

How many died today? How many lived? How many of them will actually die for real the next time the fighting continue?

Those thoughts weights my mind as I make my way trying to reach the castle’s main hall. While I was busy making medicine, more and more people died. For the medicines we alchemists brew to have a chance to be used is a miracle by itself. Most couldn’t even make it to the makeshift hospital in the castle’s storage. Roughly more than half of those who made it succumbed to their wounds, the lucky ones remained just to wait for the day their end arrive.

All these silence around the castle is just a prelude before the chaotic theatre of war begins once again tomorrow.

‘I wonder how she’s doing…’

We parted way not on exactly good terms. I was a bit harsh and too emotional back then. Maybe I just misunderstood her intention. But nevertheless, that does not mean I was wrong nor she was right. She’s too conceited for her own good. However, when there is a war around the place, it does not matter who’s wrong or right, I just hope Deborah’s still okay. She’s strong on the outside, but feeble on the inside. If she were to battle, I’m afraid she would be her own worst enemy rather than the humans.

Jeez, I don’t have time to think about this. Most of the main army is defending the West area, I need to make contact with them by going through the castle’s main hall for my next course of action.

I make my way through the castle. After a month living in this place, I already have a basic grasp of the castle’s main structure. Most of the rooms used for military purposes are located near the gate, while the less important ones like the castle’s chapel, cafeteria or classrooms are placed in the upper floors. Most of them are connected through the main hall, which somehow still be able to house a huge underground tunnel for those skeleton soldiers. This is truly a castle that only exists in fantasy.

Soon, I will reach the main army. I wonder how’s they faring outside.

Suddenly, as I keep my walking pace, the hallway’s walls get smashed to pieces by an unknown rock came flying from outside. It stops its track when it rams itself to a nearby wall, destroying half of the walls in the process. It’s a huge rock, roughly three meters tall. The question however is not about the rock, it’s about how can a rock like that found its way inside Melas castle.

Soon, I find out the answer as I watch things unfold outside from the hole the rock created.

“Damn the enemy…”

A night assault. The ivory moonlight shines upon a new offensive movement made by enemy soldiers. They intend to deny us the luxury to rest. The human soldiers once again find themselves attacking our walls without paying any heed for casualties of their own. Accompanied the night assault are the attacking trebuchets, hidden in the dead forest beyond the castle. They are shooting rocks the size of small tanks, most of them hit the Melas castle instead of the its walls. The burning torches lit by both sides make the whole war under the night look like a festival, a festival of death and carnage.

I need to hurry. I don’t know what I can do when I join the fray, but surely I will be more helpful than just standing here watching people play the game of war.

However, the surprise doesn’t end with just the sudden assault.

As I try to make a quick run back to the main army, something stops me. My gaze is fixed upon the stone earlier.

It’s moving. Suddenly, the rock cracks itself. From the inside, some kind of goo flows out, soaking the floor underneath. And then, after that…

I see a human arm reaching outside of the stone. And not just one, there are several, and each set belongs to a person inside the stone. Four of them, soldiers wearing armor. Their face are concealed by their helmets, but unlike the demon soldiers who wear demonic-styled armors, theirs are remotely normal, like something you can see in every medieval museum that features armors.

They are humans, real humans like me. And they are looking at me like I’m their enemy.

-Get him!

A human soldier shouts out loud.

Shit! Even though I am a normal human who actually look the part, they don’t hesitate the moment they catch sight of me. Maybe it’s foolish for me to stand here and watch them emerge from their stone, but it’s already too late to cry over spilled milk. They are still soaked in that sticky goo, it may hinder them for a bit, but maybe that will be enough to buy me some time.

So, I run as fast as I can. It takes them a several seconds later to regain their balance, but by that point, I already get myself some distance from them.

They are pursuing behind me. Slowly, but surely, they gain speed as the sticky goo comes off as they run. But nevertheless, I will soon lose them as the distance difference is already far enough.

I need to alert the main army about this. However, something still bugs me about the soldiers earlier.

He certainly said “Get him!”...

Their language is different, that I can be sure, but I certainly can understand what he’s saying, even though the Demon’s language is the only thing I use all these time at Melas. It’s absolutely not a language from my world or even from my country, that’s for sure. But that doesn’t explain why I can understand them. If I can understand it, can I speak the human tongue just like how I communicate with the demons using their own language?

However, that’s a question better left for some other time. The toll of running with my full equipment is draining my stamina, but soon, the main hall will be in sight. If I can make contact with the main army in time, I’ll be saved from the pursuing soldiers.

But that’s just wishful thinking. Waiting in front of my path is a group of four human soldiers. The worse thing is they are not the same group as my pursuers, their bodies are no longer trapped by those sticky goo from inside the nearby stone they emerged from. By the time they are aware of my existence, both groups quickly form a deadlock, preventing my escape.

A soldier wastes no time and draws his sword. He lunges at me and uses a downward slash. He intends to take my legs to immobilize me, probably just so they can torture me for information afterward.

Well, I will have none of that!

“Tch!”

I roll to the side, dodging the slash attack. My reflex has gotten better ever since the battle with the crab that day, but that doesn’t mean I can afford to be careless. I need to give myself some advantage here. As I roll away, I draw the gun from inside my cloak and make a blind shot. Of course, the accuracy of a gun hitting something when rolling is next to zero, but I think it may work well as a deterrent.

-Stop, or I’ll shoot!

I yell as I stand up from rolling. I point my gun at the soldier who just attacked me. He doesn’t continue his attack, probably because the noise from my gun surprised him. Or maybe, because of something else…

-You…speak our language?

Says the soldier. I can understand him, and that is something I just can’t understand.

-You also look like a human.

The soldier lowers his sword. The hostility emitted from him is gone. Maybe I can have a shot at walking out of this alive without killing. To engage in violence is the last thing I should do here. Even if I have enough bullets, it won’t be easy when I’m surrounded. Beside, I think I still lack the desire needed to actually kill a human being like I am.

-I don’t want to k--!

However, I am naïve, too naïve. As I try to propose a reasonable way to end this, a soldier suddenly sneaks to my back and strikes down my neck with his hand and renders me unconscious.

…

When I wake up, I find my hands being tied by a rope and my mouth shut tight by a piece of cloth. I always find it weird how people can always find rope and cloth in situations like these. My cloak is no longer in my possession, and my equipment is being examined by some curious soldiers. We are still in the hallway, but this is an unfamiliar place to me, somewhere I’ve never been before. They probably moved me to a place quiet enough to do some interrogation.

The soldiers become aware of my awakening. There are a total four of them, as opposed to the earlier eight. They must had splitted their group for some reason. While their armors have some distinct designs differ from the others, from the outset of someone unfamiliar with armors, all of them surely look the same. As I learned from the history books, they are probably human soldiers of Metallum, the Kingdom of Metal.

Most of them are standing guard, leaving only two behind to do the interrogation. One of them takes off the cloth covering my mouth, while the other points his sword toward my mouth before I can say anything.

-Scream, and it will be the last time you use your tongue.

Says the soldier with the sword in hand, he is quickly dismissed from using violence by his comrade.

-Come now, there’s no need for that thing. We can get information from him without resorting to torture.

The other soldier replies. He’s carrying no visible weapon on his body.

-Torture is efficient!

-It’s inhumane! It would make us no different than the demons.

The two argue. Of course, I understand them completely without any difficulties.

-Beside. I don’t think the General will approve such action. If we can’t get anything from him then just kill him quick. Don’t let him suffer.

-Hmm. Do it your way, then. But leave the killing to me.

Ah, I get it. It’s the oldest routine in the book, the good cop bad cop routine. One acts mean, the other acts nice to lure the suspect into confessing. How well will they put this to good use, I wonder? But of course, I can’t afford to play the silent game here. If I can’t prove my usefulness alive, the bad cop soldier may find me more useful in death.

-Hey, do you understand what I’m saying?

Says the good cop soldier.

-He’s asking you, dipshit.

The bad cop soldier points his sword toward my throat.

-Of course I understand. I’m neither deaf nor mute!

I answer.

-Good. I want to ask you some questions, and I’d like some honest answers. My fellow here, you see, isn’t very patient with liars.

The good cop guy leers at the other one, which annoys the guy to no end.

-Okay, I can try.

I agree. It’s not like I have any other choice.

-Are you human?

That’s a rather simple question. It reminds me of the first day I came to this world. But unlike back then, I can’t gain anything from lying to hide my true nature.

-Yes, I am a human.

I answer. The human’s native language keeps flowing from my mouth like it is my mother tongue, despite my lack of knowledge about of them.

-Really? What a surprise. I am a human too, and so are they.

Are they taking me for a fool?

-Well, it’s rather imposing if I keep wearing this…

The good cop soldier suddenly takes off his iron helmet. Under the moon light, all I can see is a young human man, roughly my age. He has brownish black hair and a pair of brown eyes. He’s rather handsome and looks nice, would be a lady killer if he isn’t stuck fighting a war. This is the first time I meet someone who qualified as “Human” in this sort of world.

-Next question, where are you from? Judging from your looks, I’ll say you are from Metallum yourself.

-I’m not from that place, actually. I’m also not from the Demon Realm either, in case you’re wondering.

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I answer, with my reply being met with hostility from the bad cop soldier.

-So? Where are you from? Don’t tell me you fell from the sky, hit your head to the ground and forgot about it?

The bad cop soldier almost hit the truth, almost.

-Well, I’m certainly not from the places you guys know, that’s for sure.

I can’t outright tell them I’m from a world that treats their world like some sort of fantasy, though the same applies to my world from their perspective. I can’t outright lie, but at least I can give them half of the truth.

-Don’t dodge the question, you piece of…!

-It’s alright. We need more pressing matter to ask about.

The good cop soldier intervenes before the other can get violent.

-Why are you in this castle if you’re a human? Why haven’t the demons killed you yet and let you roam freely in their castle?

Now that’s a good question.

-I disguised myself as an cadet to live and study alongside them. Sure, they have their own suspicions about me, but…I have some help to protect me from harm.

I hate to admit it, but Deborah’s fearsome reputation helped shield me from the other demons. I guess that’s the reason why nobody dared to pick on Iola for her human look either, despite the girl never don the proper uniform of a witch.

-Is this a fairy tale? Do you expect us to believe your words as truth?

Says the bad cop soldier.

-Well, I didn’t lie, if that’s what you want.

I answer. Even with his helmet hiding his face, I can feel a bit of anger from the guy with the sword pointing at my neck.

-This is meaningless. We can’t trust him. Let’s put an end to this.

-Nobody trusted me either when some soldiers found me captured in a demon camp as well.

The young man’s reply completely halts the other soldier’s desire to end this quick. The young man smiles. His smile is sad and lifeless.

-Well, they had every rights to distrust of me. Son of a smuggler, found captured alone inside the enemy’s camp. Most people thought I was some kind of spy, left there for a chance to infiltrate the human army. Normally, all the human captives were instantly killed, they said. The thought that they captured me just to kill me later in an execution never crossed their mind.

I start to remember about the execution site yesterday…

-War gives men a reason to hate. Hatred overcomes reason and leads to distrust. No one believed me, except General Origen. In a world blinded by hatred, Origen trusted me, solely because I told him the truth without lies. Thanks to him, I’m here, fighting his war to help him save mankind.

The young man suddenly looks straight at me in the eyes.

-I won’t say your story is the completely truth, but I feel like you didn’t lie either. You may have your reason to be vague, but I’ll still trust you…for the time being.

-Hey, what do you think you’re doing?

The young soldier stands up, he takes out a piece of paper hidden under his armor. The moon gives me enough light to read what was written on it. Though rather a letter or some sort of notes, it’s actually…

-A map of Melas…

-Correct.

The young soldier confirms my reply. Why is such a thing in the possession of the enemy?

-We need to go to this place they called the Magic Art Department. Sure, we have a map so we will get there eventually, but it’s too risky when relying on just a simple map. However, since you have been here for quite sometimes, having someone to guide us will probably work best. We certainly don’t want to encounter the demon scouts in this place.

Now I understand why they captured me alive. They want someone to help evade the guards, if there are any. I guess that’s why they pursued me at the first glance, since if I blabbered to other demons, their plan would have been foiled. And that’s also why they spared me, despite initially being in the demon army, since I’m a human like them, they thought they can make me sympathize for their plight just enough to work for them.

But, can I do it? Actually betray the other demons that I helped, just to save my skin?

-Do you really expect me to give a quick answer after all these?

-No. That’s why he’s here to quicken the process.

The bad cop soldier pulls his sword right by my neck. I can feel the cold steel touching my naked skin. It’s barely enough to wound me, but still effective at scaring me shitless. Are they expecting me to make a rational choice with a blade by my neck? No, of course not, they never expect me to choose the choice that is right, they want me to choose what is the most favorable to them.

-You have two choices. If you remain loyal to the demons, we have no other choice but to kill you. At least, my friend here will give you a quick death, that I can promise. The other alternative is to help us. You will have to betray the ones who helped you up until now, but at the very least, you can start a new life with us, fighting alongside your fellow humans. When the war ends, I promise we will help you find a future at our homeland Metallum. But until then, we humans must fight, until the demons are defeated, and peace comes once again.

…I can’t choose.

I know what I should do to continue to live, but to me, it isn’t right. The people here helped me even when they shouldn’t and have every reasons not to. Sure, they are few in number, but they still exist. Kardia, Iola, teacher Bjarni, Caelan…even Deborah herself. And I have to betray them if I want to live.

But, the demons do have their dark sides. The sight of the execution yesterday still embarks well within my memories. Despite the warmth the ones I know gave me, I’m still inside the lands of demons. What I know is limited inside the cold Melas castle. This is an unknown world to me, and that atrocity maybe just the beginning.

Yet, I can’t simply base solely on that to betray them and join the humans. Even when my life is on the line, I simply just can’t join the people who force me to betray those I know with a sword by my neck. Even when their cause is just, simply forcing people to do their biddings isn’t justice. Yet, I want to live. There is so many things I want to see in this world, joining them will allow me to do that, to see what outside of this castle. But that will certainly fill me with regret till the day I die.

I can’t choose. I just don’t know what to do…

-Quick, we don’t have time.

The soldier with the blade urges me.

-I know it’s hard for you, but we will try our best to help you when you become our comrade. The life at Metallum isn’t exactly ideal, but it’s an okay place to live. People are kind. Food and water are plentiful. It’s a place worth protecting, at least for us. It will pain me to see a fellow human dies by another human’s blade. Please…choose wisely. I await your answer.

The young soldier crouches down. He looks at me in the eyes, expecting a favorable response, pressuring me to do what he thinks is the right thing.

-I…

There is…no other choice. I want to live.

-Urgh!

Suddenly, the young soldier bursts out blood from his mouth. In his neck, there lies a spear piercing through. He struggles to speak something but fail since the spear damaged his vocal cord. He spits out a chunk of blood, some get in my face and shirt. He falls down to the ground, all that left is a lifeless body. The young man who believed in me died, and I’m too scared to even scream.

-Yohan!

The soldier holding the sword quickly rushes to the side of his friend. The other two standing guard however continue to look for the assailant. Despite the vast hallway, the two soldiers cannot locate the mysterious attacker. There is no one in visible sight, and the moonlight is starting to dim away.

The dark clouds gather on the sky outside the windows, pushing the scarce moonlight away. And then, all of us hear a sound.

Clank

The sound of metal dragging on the stone ground.

Clank

Something is coming. Someone is coming.

Clank

Are they my ally, or are they my enemy? Either way, I’m scared. The night falling on the hallway is grabbing my heart, crushing it every time the sound of their footsteps appear in my ears. Someone, please make them stop that noise.

Clank

The moonlight reappears after the wind carries the clouds away. At the other end of the hallway, there stands a lone soldier clad in armor. His visor is designed in a way similar to a skeleton’s mouth. His steel armor is soaked in blood, but judging from his movement, he’s probably unwounded. His right arm is covered in bandage. He has a javelin holder pack behind his back, which is currently carrying a single javelin. There is however another spear on his left arm, a bit of blood remains of the spear’s tip. His sword is still in its sheath, but he already have the spear as his primary weapon.

A demon soldier. He is someone I know, as this was the same guy who helped me and Iola when we got surrounded by some other demon soldiers. His name, if I remember right, is Lapidoth. I know he’s not exactly a jovial guy from our first meeting, but the current Lapidoth is rather fearsome. Even with his armor blocking his face, I can feel an intense desire to kill beneath his helmet.

This man is out for blood.

-How dare you kill Yohan!

The two soldiers rush at Lapidoth, their swords readied in hand. It’s a two against one fight, but Lapidoth keeps his slow approach, like a hunter awaiting the wolf to come to his aim. And when the wolf is in range of gunfire, the hunter pulls the trigger, unloading the bullet onto the wolf.

Swiftly, Lapidoth throws his spear with all his strength. The spear flies with the force of a bullet toward the nearest soldier on his right side. But unexpectedly, the human soldier manages to deflect the spear. He swings his sword, stopping the spear midair and deflects it elsewhere.

However, that does him no good, as Lapidoth instantly uses his remaining javelin and throws it toward the same soldier. He fails to react in time, especially after using up most of his strength to save his skin from the earlier spear. The new javelin pierces through the human’s neck, in the same manner as the one they called Yohan.

-Demon bastard!

The other soldier’s death gives the remaining one a chance to close the gap between them. The soldier swings his blade, aiming at the demon soldier’s waist to cut him in half. But in just a flash, Lapidoth rushes forward with his sword already unsheathed, and the soldier finds himself being the one who has his body cut down to half instead. It’s too fast, and happens in the span of a blink. Before I know it, the soldier’s upper body drops down, leaving his lower half to bleed out and quickly follows suit.

His martial skills are inhuman, something that does not belong to this world.

-Curse you…

The only soldier alive – the one who threatened me earlier with his sword – finds himself conflicted between running away or stand his ground and fight. The way he firmly holds his sword indicates that he wants to fight, but he does nothing else to prove his courage. His opponent isn’t someone he can beat with his current abilities, and he knows it just by watching the earlier fight. No, calling it a fight isn’t accurate. It’s a slaughter.

-I need…to finish the mission…

The soldier mumbles. And then, he turns his gaze to me.

-If only you didn’t show up…

-Wait, stop…

Suddenly, he rushes at me with his blade, aiming to finish my life!

-Stop!

I shout. Of course, that doesn’t stop his track. A blade in the head however does the deed. It is Lapidoth’s sword, thrown by him as he approaches me. I don’t know why how can he be so calm throwing away his weapons like that, but seeing his prowess earlier makes me think he has his right to be confident of his skills.

I give a glance at the soldier earlier. A blade right in the head instantly killed him and spared him from pain. But I can’t help but feel bad for him, Yohan, and the other two soldiers, especially after listening to what Yohan said earlier.

Why did things need to go this way?

Lapidoth is now standing before me, without bothering to pick up his blade. It’s hard to believe the same person who saved me and Iola from trouble yesterday is also the cause behind this gruesome mess. Before me, there is no savior, only a merciless killer that I call “ally”.

Lapidoth takes out a knife attached on his belt. A small knife, big enough to cut off a man’s hand, small enough to give someone a new hole to breath. Despite being my ally on paper, I wonder what he have in store for me when he takes out that knife. But nope, he just uses it to cut the rope binding me all these time. It is nice of him…

“Ack!”

…if he doesn’t immediately lift me off the ground afterward and strangles me with his left arm alone.

“What are…you…doing?”

I can barely speak with a hand strangling my neck. My two arms are focusing on stopping his from choking me to death, which certainly isn’t working as the lack of air makes me lose my strength.

“What…do you…even…want?”

I speak in the demon’s tongue, and I don’t remember him being secretly deaf, yet why doesn’t he response? If not through words, then he can at least do it through action.

“You bastard…”

Lapidoth suddenly mumbles.

“To whom does your allegiance lie, bastard!? To whom!?”

Lapidoth shouts. His hand grip gets stronger, giving me even more pain. I’m nearly passing out, and can’t even give the response he wants without having the urge to throw up, if the mess in my stomach can even get through my neck to the outside, that is.

“ANSWER ME, BASTARD!”

He shouts with all the force of his lung. I can’t take it anymore…

“To…the…demons…”

With the little strength I have left, I give the guy the answer he wants. I don’t even know what he actually want to hear, but at this point, I don’t have the luxury to think clearly about it.

And then, he drops me to the ground. I get too busy coughing the hell out of myself to even figure out what is his deal. I almost die back there, yet the guy in armor doesn’t look like it’s even a problem should I died.

This isn’t the same Lapidoth I met that day, the one who troubled himself just to save two foolish teenagers. No, maybe I am the one who get it wrong. This is his true self, a murderous and cold-hearted bastard who can kill without batting an eye. Someone to be expected as a demon soldier.

“If I see you blabber with other humans again, it will be your last.”

Says Lapidoth. His answer doesn’t give me anything about the reason why he asked such question. Though I’m glad his helmet is there to hide his face of disgust. I’m just sad that I don’t have mine as well just to do the same to him, to show him how disgusted I am by his presence alone. But if I act up now, he will kill me for good.

“Grab your shit. We need to rendezvous with the other demon soldiers.”

The man in armor gives his order. Luckily, my equipment are still intact on the ground along with my cloak. I have no trouble regaining my fighting state prior to this charade. But even then, it makes me even more conflicted on the subject of killing.

Behind every of these helmeted soldiers, there is a story for each of them, just like the one named Yohan. They have dreams and hopes, and for people like me to survive, it’s our jobs to destroy those very same dreams and hopes just to live for another day.

It’s cruel, this world is cruel. A sad world. A cruel world. It’s something that I expected when I chose to stay in this place, but nonetheless it still managed to surprise me despite my mental preparations.

This isn’t a video game where everything is free gold and exp. This isn’t a manga where life is just a mere drawing confined to panels. This is a fantasy world where killing is the norm, and it’s the good men, not the evil and wicked, who have to do the deed. I am living in such a world.

And it’s already too late for me to leave this world, the world of Airumel.