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Death by Ex-Girlfriend
[Inari Standoff]: With Friends Like These

[Inari Standoff]: With Friends Like These

"Kagu, what are you doing here!?" Osamu shrieked as Kagutsuchi jumped into his arms.

"I'm here to help you, obviously!" Kagutsuchi cried, her eyebrows sagging with worry. "How do you always get yourself into a bigger mess than the one before? You're so careless, Osa! What if you had died, or worse?"

"What's worse than death?" Osamu questioned, his head cocked in confusion.

"Me watching you die!"

"How is that worse?! I'm the one that's dead!"

"You're so thick-headed! It's always worse for the people who are left behind! You wouldn't feel anymore pain, but ours would last forever!"

Osamu couldn't utter a single word in response. His tongue turned into stone.

(She doesn't know why I chose to stay here. But it feels like she's onto me...)

Kagutsuchi turned towards Inari, covering her quivering lips with her tented fingers. She lunged at Inari, throwing her arms around her and holding her tightly.

"Inari!" Kagutsuchi cried. "I'm so happy you're okay. We never stopped thinking about you. Gekko and Mom...they always wanted to bring you back."

Inari hugged Kagutsuchi back, resting her cheek on her shoulder. "I see. I'm glad to hear that. I never stopped thinking about you guys either. Gosh, look at you, Kagu. Your Phantom Maiden days are long gone, huh?"

Kagutsuchi nodded, wiping the tears from her vibrant, pink eyes. "Yeah! A lot of people helped me start my life over. This guy did a lot of the work himself."

Inari laughed as she stroked Kagutsuchi hair. "So I've heard! He's told me all the stories. Still, Osamu, I want to thank you for saving Kagutsuchi's life. I knew she wasn't evil or a bad person. To see her go from the Phantom Maiden to this is...humbling. Thank you."

Osamu let out a nervous chuckle as he rubbed his aching shoulder. "Please, I was just trying to do the right thing. Actually, Kagu, how did you even get in here? Didn't the exorcists put up some really tough barrier around the airport?"

"Ah, right!" Kagutsuchi gasped. "Okay, here's what's happening! Taeko and Shinju were about to swoop into the airport the day the barrier went up, right? But then they suddenly got called to this meeting by Amaterasu, but it turned out the meeting was actually a trap and the hotel went all like ka-boom!"

"Ka...boom?" Inari repeated.

Kagutschi nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, Taeko blew up the suite because Manami was trying to kill her!"

"Right, I heard about that from Cecile." Osamu said.

"So anyway, Rei helped Taeko and Shinju escape and they met up with Yoko and the rest of us. We put together a plan to get you guys out of this mess. I was to go on ahead and stand by outside the airport so I can keep an eye on things while Taeko, Shinju, and Gekko worked on getting the formula to cross the barrier. But along the way, I ended up finding Cyanide! He's okay too! Anyway, this morning, the formula for the barrier changed to its static version, so Cyanide gave it to me and I went on ahead."

"Wait, what did you say?!" Inari recoiled. "The formula was changed to static rather than dynamic?"

"Yeah!" Kagutsuchi answered.

"What? Why is that bad?" Osamu asked.

"If it's static, then any exorcist can cross the barrier. They wouldn't do that unless they wanted to move a large number of people through it." Inari said. "If I had to guess, the Exorcist Program wants to take the gloves off and launch a full-scale invasion."

"Taeko and Cyanide said as much as well." Kagutsuchi added. "Speaking of which, everyone should be here soon. I already gave them a heads up."

"So what's the plan?" Osamu asked. "Are we getting out of here or something?"

"That was the plan, yes."

Taeko's voice startled them. She walked up the escalators along with Shinju and Cyanide, meeting everyone else outside the bakery. At long last, everyone was there. Osamu's face lit up with joy. It was like the calvary had arrived after a grueling battle of attrition. He turned his gaze to Inari, his smile quickly fading.

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Inari slapped her hand across her mouth as tears fell from her eyes."You guys mentioned a 'Taeko', and I thought it must've been someone else. But that's..."

Osamu nodded. "Yeah. It's Taeko Senkumo. The same one you knew from all those years ago."

Taeko closed her eyes and smiled, her breath draining from her lungs. "Hey there, Inari. It's been a long time."

Before Taeko could so much as speak, Inari ran and hugged her. The both of them fell to their knees as Inari sobbed and shivered in Taeko's arms. Osamu smiled, knowing that their reunion was a long time coming.

"I can't believe this!" Inari wept. "How are you here? We thought you died! I buried you! Right alongside Ebina and Mayumi!"

"You're not the only one who's been cheating death." Taeko snickered, rubbing Inari's back. "The Mu-Onna you buried wasn't me. It was someone else. I'm sorry I tricked you, Inari. I had to fool the whole world into thinking I was dead. It was the only way any of this was going to work."

"Then...the Lucrezia girl that Manami mentioned..." Inari said, pulling back from the hug.

Taeko nodded. "I'm Lucrezia. Well, more like her phantom. The real Lucrezia died some years ago. I took her identity."

"Goodness!" Inari laughed, wiping tears from her eyes. "What you have been getting yourself into all this time?"

"It's a long story, Inari. I'll tell it to you once we make it out of this." Taeko said.

"Yo, kid!" Cyanide saluted to Osamu. "You really outdid yourself with this little fiasco!"

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me kid!" Osamu groaned. "Oh, whatever. I'm just glad you're okay, man."

"Yeah. Same to you." Cyanide said.

Shinju marched up to Osamu as Cyanide finished his sentence, punching him in the stomach. Osamu fell over and writhed on the floor in utter agony.

"You god damned idiot!" Shinju shouted. "Do you have any idea how much we all worried about you?"

"I'm sorry Shinju!" Osamu squirmed in a high pitch voice.

Shinju extended her hand, helping Osamu off of the floor. She immediately pulled him in for a hug, kissing his cheek as she buried her face into his shoulder. "Thank god you're okay..."

Osamu stroked Shinju's back. "I'm sorry I worried you, Shinju."

"Right. It was a world of trouble, but we're all here now." Taeko said.

"Wasn't Gekko with you?" Osamu asked.

"Considering how high the stakes are, involving her in this battle would be a dumb move." Taeko said.

"You left Gekko out of this? That's good." Inari sighed in relief. "The whole reason why I ran was to protect her and Izanami. Thank you for not throwing all of that away, Taeko."

Taeko smiled. "Of course."

Cyanide put a cigarette between his lips, but couldn't light it as Kagutsuchi took it away from him.

"No smoking! Where are your manners?" Kagutsuchi scolded.

Cyanide put his hands up as if surrendering to the police. The Smoking Police. "Yeah, yeah, you're right. My bad, Lady Kagutsuchi."

"So, what's the plan?" Inari asked.

"This is where I take my gamble." Taeko said. "Cyanide, do you have any teleportation coins?"

Cyanide's eyes widened in shock. "What? That was your plan? No, I don't! I've been chased by exorcists the past few days! If I had any of those on me, I would've beamed myself over to a seaside resort in Italy!"

"Welp, there goes plan A." Taeko groaned.

"All of our lives were riding on the off-chance that Cyanide had a teleportation coin?!" Osamu recoiled.

"Plan B is also out of the question, considering Izanami is pregnant and the Shoku Twins are under watch. Teleportation isn't possible." Taeko said nonchalantly, taking a seat on the edge of the potted palm tree behind her. "Kagutsuchi, you might be able to take Inari and fly away with her."

Kagutsuchi shook her head. "Yeah, but where would we go? It was hard enough flying around undetected by myself. With Inari in tow and her nine tails? It'll be easy to spot us. Plus, I'm not sure how far I'll be able to carry her. It's too risky."

Taeko stroked her chin. "That's a good point. Inari would be too easy to spot from the air. You guys would probably just get shot down."

"You're making this sound really grim for us, Taeko." Osamu said.

"That's because it is." Taeko sighed. "Plan D. Does anyone know how to fly a plane?"

Taeko's question was met with dumbfounded silence. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Come on! You're Taeko Senkumo! You always have a plan! Even when you don’t, you always make one up on the spot!" Osamu assured.

"I did have a plan for this." Taeko corrected. "However, I must admit that Manami outmaneuvered me. Between the assassination attempt stalling us from acting, and the fact she leaked my secret to the rest of the exorcists, all of my plans were ruined."

"So then...our best chance is to make a stand here." Shinju said. "We can set up a defense, combine our strength, and fight off the assault."

"Yeah." Taeko said. "As hopeless as it sounds, that's our best chance. We can fend them off here and make a run for it once they fall back."

"Whatever you guys decide, I'll fight alongside you." Kagutsuchi declared. "I'm with you guys until the end."

Taeko turned her gaze to Inari and Osamu. "What about you two? You still good to fight?"

"They're bringing the whole crew today, right? I can't think of a more exciting battle." Inari hollered.

"If Inari's fighting, then so am I." Osamu said.

"You don't even have to ask me." Cyanide said, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"And of course, I'm with you wherever you go, Taeko." Shinju assured.

Taeko stood up, looking at the determination burning in everyone's eyes. "This may very well be our last day on this earth. I'm sure you all know that. But we are not going to go down without giving them hell. Looking at you all...it reminds me of the comrades I had in the Senkumo clan. They had the same look in their eyes, even when they knew they were going to die. They placed their trust in me. Today, I'm the one placing my trust in you. Thank you, everyone."

Taeko took a deep breath, the presence of her dearest friends calming her racing heart. All of her dread left her in that moment. If she was going to die that day, alongside the people she loved most, she was perfectly fine with it.

"We only have a little bit of time before they get here." Taeko said. "We'll use the airport to our advantage. Let's get ready, everyone.”