Sometimes we have to make choices that are bigger than just us.
-THEO
Caleb Parks' POV
"I'm such an idiot."
I dive into the water and relish the coolness it brings. As much as I would love to continue to stay under here, the nagging in my chest reminds me that I need oxygen.
Not wanting things to escalate, I swim upwards.
"No arguments here." Jack greets my reappearance with a sly smile.
"In hind's sight, this might be a blessing in disguise," He continues, "Look at this way; if you act on your feelings and she doesn't return them, you will be crushed. I don't know about you, but there is only one room for one whipped idiot in this relationship." He motions his index finger between the space between us.
I swim closer to him and rest my forehands on the ledge, "So you are finally agreeing with Taryn and me that you are an idiot?" A smirk tugs at my lips.
Jack regards me with an unamused gaze, "My point is, even if you like her and let's say you do. And she feels the same way. Are you ready to risk your heart for another crack because you will let go of the people you love?" He gives me a knowing look filled with my most hated emotion.
Pity.
I huff and turn back towards the water and start a lap.
I try to keep my emotions in check, but if you remember those warnings that zookeepers tell the people that visit, like 'don't poke the bear' or 'don't feed the lions'.
Well, that should be written on my forehead because when Peyton dared to ask; I blew up at her. I didn't know I had struck a nerve by comparing her to the girls that like to flock around me. Yes, my bad.
I felt even worse when during her rant, she started crying. I agree I deserve the low blow she threw at me regarding my parents.
I guess I could have kept my self-restraint above water, but it's not that simple. I wanted Peyton to feel part of the hurt she gave me, but I took it too far.
All I want now is to apologize. And if I'm lucky, maybe I could pull her into a hug. But I'm pretty sure that she would not only castrate me if I even came as close as five feet near her.
It's been about two weeks since the little incident in Dinah's office; she avoids me like the plague. There was that awkward part when Gail asked if she and I could read her a story when she claimed to be ill.
Yup, I'm a complete idiot.
I do more laps around the pool and get out of the water. Jack throws a towel at me, and I catch it.
"Where are Jacob and Shawn?" I ask while we make our way out of the pool room.
"Jacob is in the kitchen charming the pants off Peyton," He catches my glare and continues with a sly smile, "Shawn is doing some laps on the treadmill."
This is weird because Shawn only exercises in the early hours of the morning.
In this household, we all deal with our stress in different ways. I turn into a literal merman and spend my time in the pool. Shawn runs at odd hours; Jacob tries to pick up his brother's silent façade. Marci locks herself in her room, Gail clings to my side for support, and Taryn becomes more bitchy than usual while Jack eats the food he cooks.
Weird right? But that's how we cope without hurting each other.
I walk straight out of the pool and into the gym. Our silent friend is running down on the mill with a big frown.
I walk towards him and turn the machine off. It stops with Shawn panting as he leans on it for support.
"You okay big guy?"
How ironic that I ask the same question that I hate being asked.
He grunts and steps off the machine, "I'm just feeling off, that's all." He answers.
"You sure?" Jack steps closer to Shawn.
Shawn looks heaven-wards before saying in a stiff tone, "My mom's birthday is coming up, and it would mean the world to her for Jacob to show up with a girl that he is ready to settle down with."
I don't know whether to be jealous of how easily he could speak his mind being the reserved one among us or to be shocked that Jacob and settle down could be used in the same sentence.
"I'm sure Peyton could help in that department." I turn my head sharply in Jack's direction.
Shawn dismissively waves his hand, "Not happening. Caleb would fire us both in a heartbeat." I felt my jaw drop.
"I don't know, Shawn. Caleb may like her, but he clearly is too scared to say it out loud. And if I'm being honest, Peyton has been spending an unreasonable amount of time with Jacob lately." Jack touches his chin thoughtfully.
"It could work. And if Caleb fires us, I'm sure Peyton will allow Jacob to return with her. Maybe I could tag along and play the best man at their wedding."
Okay, I am shutting this conversation down.
"You remember me?" I say with heavy sarcasm in my tone, "You know the musician you work for? The one that likes the girl that you are planning her wedding with another person in front of me."
"Are you seeing someone over there?" Jack flicks his head to the side where I am standing.
"No, you are seeing things, Ed," Shawn smirked knowingly.
They are doing this to get a rise out of me, and I hate to admit it, but it may actually be working.
I pinch Jack's bicep and softly kick Shawn's shin, "That's real enough for you, Dimwits."
Shawn gasped loudly, almost obnoxious, "Did you feel that?"
Jack mirrors his expression, "This place is haunted. Let's get out of here."
They both scrambled to their feet and rushed out the door.
What they said got me thinking, and as much as I hated to say it, I was literally jealous.
Yes, I saw Jacob as one of my brothers. Yes, I had developed an attraction for Peyton even though I said from the beginning that I only wanted one kind of relationship between us. A business-related one.
I guessed since we aren't on speaking terms, she decided to entertain Jacob's jokes. Did I hurt her so bad that she subjected herself to such torture?
Don't get me wrong, Jacob can tell a good joke when he wants to. Sometimes I feel the jokes are too mediocre for my taste.
Now that I thought more about the conversation between Jack and Shawn, I couldn't help but want the picture of Peyton's wedding embedded in my head but with another groom, me.
I feel like I should just tell her about my conflicting feelings, but I know the only way she would want to talk to me is as if she was hanging me off a cliff. As weird as it sounds, I like her fiery attitude, but her curiosity is what makes me nervous.
I am in no shape or form to bear my heart to her, and as much as the nagging feeling in my head won't go away. She might just laugh at my face and be crueller than the orphanage children.
I walked out of the gym and saw Peyton having a good laugh with Jacob at the dining table.
All other thoughts were out the window. Screw it!
Peyton must have heard me approaching because Jacob said something to her, but she simply shook her head in a negative motion as she stood up from the table and walked towards the kitchen.
Marci sat at the counter while examining her fresh coat of black nail polish on her hand while Gail was talking a mile a minute.
"Hey, brother," Gail grinned at me as she jumped off the stool and hugged me.
"Um... Girls, can you give Peyton and me a minute alone together?" I glance at the said person with nervousness.
Peyton rolled her eyes and made to leave the room, but Marci got up from her seat and blocked her way.
There was a quick exchange between the two before Marci walked out with Gail, a wicked smile etched onto her face.
Whatever the two talked about made Peyton look at me as if I had killed her pet dog.
"I'll assume you have something other than squirrel nuts in your head, so start talking before I lose my senses to Father Time."
I release a heavy breath, "No matter how I word this, you will still not look at me differently."
Her arms crossed above her chest, a silent dare or threat. It's hard to understand what she is getting at unless you focus on her eyes. The most beautiful silver blues were narrowed into slits as she looked me up and down.
"Have lunch with me today." I blurt out.
There was no way I would have a heart-to-heart with Jack and Marci's ears pressed onto the wall when they clearly should be in the studio and school.
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"I don't think you are as charming as people paint you as; because even the prince from Snow White had more lines than you." She rolls her eyes.
Her hatred that she once had for me was back in full swing, and it hurt that I had made her feel that way. It's ironic that when we first met, we were more friendly towards each other, but that would mostly be because I was a customer, and she had no choice but to show hospitality at some point.
"How about a deal?" I take a leaf out of her book.
"That's rich," She scoffs, making to bypass me, but I block her path, making us stand inches away from each other.
I want nothing more than to pull her closer to me, hug her and relive some of the pain I feel inside. But I know better than not.
"You can request anything of your choice, and I will give you, given that you go to lunch with me." I could hear the pleading in my tone. I thought that would make her resolve crumble, but I was wrong.
I didn't think it was possible, but her eyes narrowed even further, "And what makes you think a poor girl wants something for you? I am not one of your desperate fangirls looking for a quick lay." With one brow up, she glared at me.
"Last time I checked, the only thing needed is my paycheck for when I leave here."
With that said, she walked away. I don't know why but her walking away now made me feel more hurt than her walking away in Dinah's office.
Jack walked in, and I couldn't read his expression.
"Caleb, we have an interview in two hours. And by we, I mean you."
Just what I needed.
-
I changed out of my trunks and wore what my hand first grabbed; a red Balenciaga hoodie, black slightly ripped jeans and Nike Air Force 1's.
I didn't see Peyton when we left; I'm guessing this is how our relationship will be until she leaves. It is kind of disheartening, but as Jack said, maybe it's for the best.
'So much for following your heart.' I scoff.
"Good day America!" Ken greeted the live audience with enthusiasm, something that I was lacking in the department of being on air.
After a quick pep talk from Marcel and a debriefing, I knew what Ken wanted to ask about. Marcel also reminded me that my career started before this girl came into my life and if I was stupid enough to end...
Yea, this is not helping my self-esteem, but you get the gist. Marcel was not won over by Peyton just yet, but that doesn't mean he would be happy if I threw all that I worked for out the window.
"I'm sure you all know Caleb Parks by now," Ken grinned as he gestured towards me, "Caleb, how's the tour going?"
I put on my million-dollar watt smile for the cameras, "It's been going great, Ken. How have you been?"
Ken rolled his eyes at my wit, "You know the usual. So tell me, where is your next visit?"
"Not sure yet, but I'll be going a week after Thanksgiving. What are your plans for that day?" I smile slyly.
"Not sure yet, but it will be along the lines of eating and hanging out with family."
"So have you found a girl to kiss on New Year's Eve? I'm sure it will be one hell of a kiss." He wiggled his brows.
Only if he knew that the girl I was interested in wanted me far deeper in the ground than six feet.
I bit my lip because now I wanted to lie to the whole world, and I was not an in-breed liar.
My eyes darted into the crowd, quickly going through rows to find the person I was looking for. One glare from Marcel and I was back on track.
"Nope, I might surprise you by then." I wiggled my brows back at him because I'm pretty sure that if I had said her name here, I would have my fans trying to kill her, and she'll try to kill me.
Sorry but live-action horror movies are not my go-to for stress relieving, especially when I play the kid who should be dead.
Soon the interview ended, and I was slipped into the back room where Marcel, Jack and Shawn were waiting for me.
Surprise, surprise, Jacob stayed back in the Penthouse to keep Peyton company.
Marcel broke into a smile, and I saw myself hiding behind Jack and Shawn.
"Relax, boy, you did great." Then he turned to Jack, "Be a good manager and fix this emotional splat that he is having. I'll see you all tonight, and I expect a song." With one more pat on the back, he was gone.
"I have good news," Jack said as he looked up from his phone, "Peyton agreed to have lunch with you, but where you guys eat; your fans should be far away, and it must have a casual setting."
I don't know why but I felt relieved, but then it dawned on me. This was the second time I forced her to eat with me, and I mentally facepalmed. I have no idea how this works.
"Any suggestions?" I ask.
"What about that pizza restaurant around the corner from here?" Jack suggested while typing away on his phone, "I'll get the owner to keep down the groupies so that you can have a date."
He stresses the word date, but it would be more of me apologizing than hands holding and sparks flying.
When we came out of the studio, there stood different girls. Ranging from first graders to married women, all lined up waiting and pushing for a chance to feel me up or maybe do something that was not PG-13 related.
Oh, good lord!
"Don't worry, bud. If things with Peyton don't work out, you have a whole new set of fishes to pick from." Shawn snickered at Jack's jibe while my best friend found it funny to hug one of the fans.
I make a mental note to return the favour when Taryn gets back.
We had to enter the uber unless they were planning on stripping every cloth off my body.
We got in and circled around the area so we could lose them. That took longer than I thought it would.
After I had walked in and sat down at a booth by the side, I began twiddling my thumbs: while Jack went to talk this with the owner.
Not gonna lie; I was half thinking that she would not come and go back on her word, or I would get fan mobbed while I sat here.
Not sure which one I would prefer if I was being honest.
"If I have to sit through this and lose another decade from my life, I want one of my friends back home to join us for thanksgiving."
She didn't sit down yet, but she was already making deals. Peyton never ceases to amaze me.
"Deal."
She seemed surprised that I agreed to her demand. I am more inclined to listen to her rant, but her time to shine has passed.
"I know if I apologize one more time, you will literally leave an imprint with your foot on my face," I know this because she almost did the same thing to Jack when he pissed her off the other day.
"Do you know that we are very similar?" She said out of the blue, allowing my intended comment on her anger tendencies to go over her hair.
"What makes you say that?" I gave her an intrigued look.
"Tell me, what's that one thing you are willing to protect at all costs?" She raised a brow; as her silver-blue eyes observed me.
"Family," I answer without missing a beat, "Where are you going with this Peyton?"
"Caleb, our individual demons will always haunt us. And deep within us, we want to share it with the people we love, but we are scared that we might scare them away. So we carry our demons everywhere we go to prevent the reparations from affecting our loved ones." Her eyes seemed glassy; it was as if she was speaking from experience.
I felt a sudden spark of false bravado and reached across the table to rest my hand on hers. Peyton tried to redraw her hand, but I held it.
"You're right about that, Peyton, but maybe we need the right people to be by our sides when confronting our demons. The people we hold dear will be swallowed up if they even were to get a glimpse of it."
A knowing look passed between us, and I knew I was falling hard for the girl across from me. The raw emotions in her eyes reminded me of the car crash those years ago in the alley.
Peyton broke the spell by focusing her gaze on the menu before us, "So are we going to eat? Because talking about depressing issues works up an appetite."
And she changes the subject before I could even get to know her, but it's a tit-for-tat situation whenever it comes to her.
If I want to know what bothers her so much, I'd have to say the same and like she said. We need the right person by our side to face our individual demons.
We both decided to share a large meat lover's pizza.
"You look as if you are being pleasured." Peyton throws me a cocky look, her sad expression now gone.
I felt my ears tinge pink, "It's just... a ..very good pizza." I managed to get out.
I felt like a high school student having a first date. Cue a groan, and it's not a sexually frustrated one. Get your heads out of the gutter.
She snickered, "Don't worry. I know firsthand how hard it is to keep a groan from spilling out."
Instinctively, I get a picture of Jacob and Peyton getting steamy, and I feel my hands tighten on the table cloth.
"You can release your grip; the tablecloth is not your opening act." She rolled her eyes at my behaviour.
Heaven forbid I tell her why I just did that. I say, "Do you have a best friend?"
The question took her off guard, and she schooled her expression into one of ignorance.
"Surprisingly, yes, her name is Charlie."
"What is she like?" I might as well get her to open up, even if it's just for a bit.
"She is like a sister to me, but she has more similarities with my twin."
"You're a twin?" I felt my eyes bulge out of their sockets.
"Yea, her name is Lola."
Not surprised that she is giving me one-sentence answers, but I'll work with it.
"Do you have any other siblings?" I continue my prying.
"I have a step-brother, Danny."
"Are you guys close?"
I mentally facepalm for like a third time today. Peyton didn't seem to notice my inner argument because if she did, she didn't bring it up.
"Very, you can even say they are the cause I hated you in the first place." She replied and took a sip of her drink.
I feel my ear twitching on that, and I find myself leaning forward in my seat, "How so?"
"Well, Charlie and Lola are among your fan group. You could say I spent more than half of my college years forced to listen to your songs and see your posters, my version of hell."
I mock hurt as I touch my chest, "Gosh, I never knew you loved me that much before you even met me." The sarcasm in my tone was heavy.
"Don't feel so special, Babe Ruth. I even preferred listening to Donald duck sing than you." She sent a dig my way with her signature eye roll.
"Point is I got tired of hearing them hype you. One day almost deleted all the songs they had of you, but I rethought my strategy." She smiled wistfully as the memory replayed in her head.
"Why is that?" I found myself smiling along with her.
"Because I knew those two idiots would shave my head in my sleep." She said with a smirk.
"Speaking of hair, are you a brunette or a blonde?" I noticed that her brown hair with golden tips now had yellow roots.
She sighed, "I dyed my hair brown, and I'm not caught out to be a blonde."
I tighten her hand again as a sign of comfort.
It's my turn to roll my eyes at her, "This might sound cheesy, but as Bruno Mars would say, you are amazing just the way you are."
She gave me a sincere smile. There was no evil glint in her eyes, her dimples showed a bit, and I think that compliment of mine didn't only help her self-esteem.
I wanted to reach across the table, pull her close to me, hug and kiss her.
Some dreams are better left as dreams.
"Marcel requested that you come for his Halloween party tonight." I took a glance at the clock; it was already four pm.
"Sounds fun, but I'm already going to Marci and Gail's school Halloween party."
"Too bad, I was looking forward to singing my new song," I say.
"As I said before; I like my ears very much without blood coming out of them."
We both started laughing as she said that.
It felt nice to have an actual conversation with Peyton and not to have an insult splat where she would clearly wipe the floor with me.
Peyton had to go home and get Gail and herself ready for the school Halloween party.
I stood in front of three idiots.
"How did it go?" They asked at once.
If I didn't know any better, I would think they placed bets on this. But I do; Jack is holding his credit card. Even my own best friend doesn't have faith in me.
"Interesting," I take another leaf from Peyton's book and give them a one-word answer.
Were they, not my bodyguards; I swear that Jacob was about to punch me in the face. Funny how I wanted to do the same thing to him this morning.
"I'll tell you a lot of the hungry deets that you are stressing for later. At least let's get to Marcel's Halloween party?" I offer to get them off my tail.
They didn't buy my new direction of where I wanted this conversation to be headed, but they went with it anyway.
By the time we got back to the Penthouse, the girls were about to leave. I found it funny how their outfits were all in black.
"What are you guys supposed to be?" Jack asked.
"I'm a Shadow," Peyton replies as she starts putting their dinner plates in the sink.
"What are you, Marci?" Shawn asked as he took in her costume.
Marci wore a mid-high black dress, long dropping sleeves and an attached hood. The hood had the famous reaper's stick embroidered into it. A black pantyhose with black boots to pair.
"I'm the taker of souls aka, Pesta." She gave a mock curtsy while I turned my gaze to Gail, who was quietly watching us. I picked her up and tickled her, and she started giggling.
"What are you supposed to be a munchkin?"
"I'm the black tomcat from Tom and Jerry." She grinned ruefully at me as she adjusted her plastic cat ears.
"Now that I think about it. We haven't even set up for Halloween." Jacob brought our attention to him.
"It's not like any of us haven't been preoccupied lately," Peyton told him while wiping her hand on a dishcloth.
"Yes, busy." The two dived headfirst into a staring match.
Peyton was glaring while Jacob was smirking. I sighed and put Gail down.
"You guys should get going. Shawn, can you keep an eye on Gail for me?" Peyton asked him after she broke out of her match.
Shawn nodded, and the four of them made their way to the elevator. Jack and I started walking toward the stairs.
-
Like every other man present, Jack and I wore suits while Jacob, who loved attention, went with a classic blazer and a dress shirt tucked into it, some slacks and a nice pair of shoes.
"Let's get this show on the road." The three of us nodded in agreement and went our separate ways, each of us having matters to tackle tonight.