Warning things are about to get depressing.
Going down memory lane always leaves a bittersweet taste in my mouth.
-THEO.
Caleb Parks' POV
Drink.
As I made my way out of the bedroom, my path was blocked by my bullies, or as I like to call them, the people who made my stay here a living hell aka memorable.
"Where do you think you're going to, dolphin dancer?" He who I never got to know his real name said to me as he shoved me backwards, but I refused to budge.
My freedom from this place was at my fingertips. Even though a thirteen-year-old was not allowed to resort to violence, I am being held by a thin rope.
It was a staredown.
Me against them.
Me against the kids behind me that were calling me names.
Me against everyone because that was how I saw the world.
The world and I played the game of cat and mouse over the years. And if you haven't guessed it, I am the mouse.
My parents didn't want me because after I spent just half a day with them when I joined this cruel world; they dumped me here.
It seemed like time refused to move as we stared each other down, silently daring the other to back down or retaliate.
You see, all my thirteen years in this world, all I had known was to never give up on something no matter how the world may seem to want your downfall.
I got used to the hits, shoves, trips and pranks the other kids threw at me. I was mocked because I liked to sing but was shy, so I only did it in the shower. Trust me when I say that the mocking got worse because of that.
I wasn't stupid enough to keep a journal, but I was still stupid either way because whenever I would tell one of the nurses or the man that looked after us. I either got scolded or a smack on the head.
Yes, my dear friends, life isn't fair.
Seems like I would leave this place without an extra scratch or bruise on my body. The woman who would now play the role of my new mother walked in and ushered me out of the place that gave me the real deal about how life is.
Drink.
"Good riddance."
Those were the parting words I last heard from one of the nurses, but I simply shrugged it off.
A month passed, but I hadn't decided how to view them or if they would be the lesser evil in my life.
Still, Mr Peter and Mrs Carol Parks were very nice people, and they didn't seem to push me to do things that I wouldn't want to do or make it look like I had to give them a rundown on what had happened to me in my early life.
Funny how that same orphanage is among one of my valued possessions.
I felt more like a basket case than their child, but they still made me feel welcome, and Carol made sure she sang me to sleep every night.
Drink.
My first day at school was very eventful. They dropped me off at the school; that they enrolled me in. I readjusted my tie for what felt like the hundredth time this morning and walked in. I was pessimistic that this day would blow up in my face and it would be a repeat of my stay in the orphanage, but I was very wrong.
The teachers made me introduce myself in every class, and I got a few welcoming smiles in return.
Some people in my class tried to get to know me, but I only told them basic things about myself.
Trusting people at this point for me had gone down the drain.
Drink.
A few months passed, and I found myself warming up to the Parks until my supposed birthday rolled around the corner. I locked myself in my room and tried to cry myself to sleep.
Mr Peter Parks was not having it because he broke the door down and dragged my butt to the zoo, where he made sure to make me sit in front of the aquarium.
"Caleb, my boy," He tapped my shoulder so I could look at him, but I couldn't bring myself to make eye contact.
"I know that I'm not the son you wanted. I'll understand if you want to drive back to the orphanage and dump me there. I get it. But if you want to make it more special than my birth parents, just hand me a rope and show me the nearest tree." I say while admiring the laces of my sneakers that Carol forced me to wear before I left the house.
"Nonsense," Peter rolled his eyes at me while kissing his teeth. He reached out and grabbed my head, making me look at the big fish tank in front of us. "What do you see, Caleb?" He asked while still keeping a firm grip on my head.
"I see fishes eating each other," I say with a shrug.
"Anything else?" I hear humour in his voice.
"I see some moving alone. I see some moving in groups." I feel him release the grip on my head, so I crane my head to look at him. I see mischief dancing in his eyes.
"Right, Caleb, The ones that move alone are you. You feel like the world has turned its back on you. You feel like you have no friends and family." I see the sincerity in his eyes, and I fight the urge to be disrespectful and turn my gaze away from him.
Even at a young age, I hated pity. It made me feel worse than I already felt.
"Look at that fish." I follow his pointed finger and see a clownfish swimming on its own.
Before I knew it, it was swallowed whole by a bigger fish.
"Caleb, if you carry on staying away from the people who try to impact you in a good way, you'll end up alone. And when you're alone, you would be a vulnerable little fish. The world in the form of a shark will swallow up. Look at that school."
I follow his gaze and see a school of sardines swimming together. When the bigger fishes come closer and try to take someone who is a part of them. They swim around the fish and distract it, making its mission become harder than it seems.
"You see, Caleb. When you have people ready to take a grenade for you. You are supposed to do the same and stand and protect them. I know that the world has done you no favours by what you've gone through but look at it this way."
He pauses to swing an arm around my shoulders, "You will succeed in what you want to do in your life. And when the time comes, don't you want to be surrounded by the people you love." He gives me an earnest look.
"Sir, the question isn't if I would want them to stay with me. It's if they would want to stay with me." I grimly reply and finally make eye contact with him.
Peter smiles at my outlook on things because it's true.
People can only tolerate so much before they break.
"One day, I think you will be able to answer that question by yourself. But for now, I'll give you an answer. People come and go, but family is forever. I don't mean people you share blood with. I mean people you will call your own, and they would call you theirs." He gripped my chin and made me look him dead in the eye, "Remember, Caleb, you are never truly alone till the last light in your life gets sucked away."
Drink.
As the years rolled by, I appreciated Peter and Carol more for what they did for me. It felt nice to know that you could be loved by people, you didn't grow up with.
A year before graduation, I came home from school and met them cradling something very tiny in their hands.
As I got closer, I noticed that Carol's once swelled stomach had deflated.
"Caleb," Peter draped his hand around my shoulder, "Meet your sister."
I felt my heartstrings tug as I looked at the fragile human that was the perfect blend of my parents.
"Can I hold her?" I threw my bag on the floor and stretched out my hand to receive the sleeping figure before me.
Carol smiled at me and carefully placed the small child in my arms. I gripped her firmly.
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"What did you guys name her?"
Peter kissed Carol's head before answering, "Abigail."
Then he kissed mine and Abigail's. The feeling that engulfed me as I glanced from Abigail in my arms to Peter and Carol that stood before us, was one I would cherish for the rest of my life.
The family has never had a better meaning than what I see before me.
Drink.
My seventeenth birthday came on a very dreary day; so instead of spending the day in the water park as planned.
Peter brought home a black grand piano. He and I stood with Gail in my arms as we watched Carol play one of her favourite pieces.
Drink.
I finish my third glass and slam it down on the counter. Going down memory lane was always tough.
I don't know how Marcel, Jack and Shawn managed to get me out of the townhouse, but we were parked in front of the building.
They were arguing about which would be the best way to get my drunken self into the elevator without the press catching wind that I was drunk off my second pair of cheeks, which are surprisingly larger than my first set.
I'm a lightweight drunk because all it took was three bottles, and I was done for. The townhouse party became a club right after Giá made her parents and all other adults leave, that includes her uncle Marci and Jack.
Jack left because the new guests for the party were high school students, and he didn't want to take any chances. I guess the holy nun look is a look he plans on having till Taryn comes home.
I don't know where exactly we are because as a drunk, I am more invested in counting the sheep that jump over my head while I look up.
What I do know is that Shawn and Jack are currently dragging me across the parlour in the penthouse and towards the stairs to get to my room.
They are momentarily distracted and let go of me when the elevator doors open.
Crying and moaning simultaneously, I roll down the stairs and land on my face. It hurts so much, and I don't know what to do.
I heard shuffling around me, and before I knew it, I was in my room with Jack looming over me.
I didn't hear what he was saying, but I knew it was along the lines of not stressing too much about things and having a good night's rest.
-
I still feel frustration leftover from last night with a pulsing hangover.
I know swimming isn't going to help this. If I go to the gym, I might get injured, and Marcel could pop a vein if he finds out.
Without further thought, I make my way to the music room. I enter the soundproof box at the far right of the room and switch on the recorder.
With an electric guitar strapped to my back, I play away my frustration, and the hangover reduces slightly.
The only good thing that comes out of my drinking spree is that I am very capable of writing a new song or making a new dance routine, even though I feel like a marching band is in my head.
My fingers started to hurt with the amount of force that I was using to play the guitar. Angry, I forgot the pick.
Reasonable me was able to subdue Angry me to drop the guitar and head out of the room and onto the stage.
I put up on one of my favourite mixtapes and begin to move to the beat.
Finally, my legs gave out. I was sprawled out on the floor, breathing heavily with exhaustion.
I prefer dealing with my hangovers this way. They always leave faster, but the guilt was riding on my back in this situation is still static.
I don't know how long I've been here, but I know that it was a very long time, and before I know it, my two little sisters are laid beside me.
My silence was an answer to whatever they were asking me because I still felt numb to the world to speak just yet.
Marci huffed and sat up; she got up and went to my other side. Mirroring her sister's actions, Marci lowered herself onto the floor, sitting cross-legged.
The girls faced each other.
"Abigail, do you know that we have an older brother?" Marci asked in a thoughtful tone.
"Yes, but he is acting like a grumpy tree stump," Abigail replied with a pout.
"Do you think we could change that?"
"Absolutely. Charge!" Abigail raised her hands to me. The girls toppled over me and pressed me closer to the ground.
I let out a loud groan when the sudden and large amount of air got knocked out of my lungs.
"I get it! I'm a tree stump! Let me breathe." I huffed and started taking deep breaths when they got off me.
They were a giggling mess as I sat up to glare at them.
With a concerned look, Marci asked, "You okay?"
I knew the version of okay that she was asking about stopped existing the day my so-called birthday came around a few years ago.
But looking at not one but two of my little sisters, I realized there was hope for me just yet.
I was still sad, but I would continue to put up my easy-going façade and continue to live. I wasn't going to get people involved in my life to see the jumbled mess in my head.
I guess I could say that I didn't get the short end of the stick, but I couldn't help but wonder if that day had gone differently, things might have turned out differently.
A forced smile that looked real enough for my sisters, I say.
"Are you guys going to help me pick out my costume for Marcel's Halloween party or what?" It came out in the teasing tone that I mastered so no one would hear the crack in my voice every once in a while.
Both girls grinned. Pulling me up on my feet, they dragged me out of the room.
Maybe, just maybe, the stars might align and allow the moon to show the depth of its darkness and not the light that we are used to seeing.
Freshly showered, I came down the stairs in a red tee, brown khaki shorts and some canvas I picked from the shelf.
I met my little sisters and Jacob in the kitchen. They all appraised me with a critical eye, expecting me to blow up.
In their defence, I hardly let my composure slip, but last night brought many memories that I want to be buried deep in my heart.
I smile, "So what's for breakfast?"
Abigail slid me a plate of eggs, bacon and toast. I poked at it with my fork.
"Who cooked it?" I asked unsurely, hoping that it was not Jack.
"Relax, Parky, it was Peyton. I believe her exact words were to ensure you eat and drink two full glasses of juice." Jacob offered with a sly look, "Eat up so you can eat her next."
I knew Jacob could not last a minute without having a hidden innuendo in his words.
Gail scrunched her face in confusion, "Why would Caleb want to eat Peyton? I know she's sweet, but she couldn't be that sweet."
Sometimes I think Gail may be a little mature for her age, but I'll worry about that when we are alone.
"Anyway, I just texted mom. She said we could come over, and look for an outfit for you." Marci looked up from her phone to tell me before going back to it. Judging from her facial features, it wasn't hard to tell who she was talking to.
"Hey Jacob, did you know that red is the new black?" I grinned at him before looking back at Marci.
Jacob followed my gaze and continued, "I heard they dated briefly before red cheated on black with white. In my opinion, red looked better with white."
I held back a laugh as Marci glared at the two of us and muttered, "Next time, I'll ask for an older sister."
-
After going through the usual hassle of getting through the paparazzi, we got into an Uber.
Marci was glued to her phone while Jacob was saying something about missing his mom, whose birthday was coming up.
Soon we were walking into Dinah Delabsy's headquarters.
The smell of perfumes, dyes, thread and everything relating to the clothing industry wafted into my nose with a force to be reckoned with, and I stumbled back a bit.
I had been here a handful of times while under the wing of the Wellingtons. It still amazes me every time; how one woman could change the outlook on a simple piece of clothing.
Marci led our little group to the elevator, head up and shoulders squared. Since she is a descendant of Marcel and Dinah, her temper was short of nothing to her parents.
So the workers stayed out of our way as we made our way to Dinah's office. I am guessing it was to either protect their jobs or their dignity.
If I was an outsider, I would be forced to believe that Marcel, Dinah, Marci, Peyton and Taryn were family members. The only person who could contrast that little picture was the spitfire that made my breakfast today.
Dinah's office was a terrace of some sort that was at the very end of the factory so that she could look at her employees without having to leave the room.
It was made of one-way glass. You can't see inside no matter how hard you tried.
Before I could dwell more on it, I heard a squeal beside me.
I looked into the room and saw Marcel in an interesting position; I smirked while I rested my hand on either side of me on both Marci and Abigail's faces.
"Is this the part where I'm like, 'Hey family, what's for dinner?'" I smirk.
Marcel rolled his eyes as he straightened his tie and moved away from Dinah's open legs. Dinah jumped down from the table and tried to remove the wrinkles from her dress. I noticed that there were binders on the floor, but If I knew these two people as well as I do. I know this is not the first time; they are christening Dinah's office, and the binders stay on the floor as spectators.
"Are they decent now?" Marci asked with uncertainty. Gail giggled.
"Yes, they are." I grinned as I removed my hand from their faces.
Marci rolled her eyes at the couple, "The Halloween party is coming up, and so we as your children came to ask for clothes."
"Last time I checked, Caleb was a grown man. Marci doesn't even like to play dress-up." Marcel did a double-take at us.
"Last time I checked, no fully grown person likes to walk in on others getting it on," I add with a sly smile while Marcel gives me a dry look.
"Hey, it's never too late for change, is there?" With a smug smile, Marci started walking out the door, "I'm also borrowing a jersey in the men's section."
"Don't tell me it's that boy again." Marcel groaned as he facepalmed.
"Most likely," I said as we watched Marci go down to the packaged boxes, the workers parted a way for her to go through.
"You have one scary daughter." I mused.
"You should go talk to her. She may be your little girl but missing out on important school functions is so not like you." Marcel had a flabbergasted look as he took in Dinah's harsh glare.
I can now see why Jack likes to carry popcorn where he goes. It was comical because they were playing the video vixens in Marvin Gaye earlier.
"Fix this or so, help me. I will have another kid that will not be from your DNA." A glaring match erupted between the couple.
This is where I let out a subtle cough to remind them that they are not alone. Gail giggled as she stepped forward and took Marcel's hand.
"You can help me pick out my costume." She grinned as she pulled him out of the room.
I made to follow them, but Dinah called out,
"Caleb?"
I turn to look at her.
"You okay?"
I find it sweet that the women in my family always check on me.
I smile, "Peachy, need any help?" I nodded to the binders on the floor.
She blushed but waved her hand dismissively, "I'll handle that later. Marcel told me what happened last night..."
I cut her off and kept the irritation at bay. The pitying look wasn't doing me any favours, as I tried to school my expression.
"It was just a slip, Dinah. And if I'm being honest, I don't want to talk about it." She made a move to persuade me, "Seriously, I'm fine." I tried to sound convincing, but even I heard the irritation in my voice.
"I got a good song and a new dance routine out of it, so all good." I grinned.
Dinah rolled her eyes and came to stand before me, "One day, the pain you feel will get too much, and suicidal thoughts will be the kings of your brain. One day you're going to cry so badly that no matter how many songs you write or how many new steps you make will not make it feel better. One day you're going to feel like you are all alone that even though we as your family are here for you, you will still yearn for that family with a girl you love."
She paused to rest her on my cheek as she cupped it, "I just hope by then, that girl would have broken down your walls, and you will realize that it's not just you in this big world." She leaned forward to kiss my cheek.
She made me feel guilty that I am holding out on her, but how would you feel if you lost two sets of parents on the same day? Numb? Depressed? Lonely even?
My point is that I try my best not to burden anyone with my issues.
I know that being in love with anyone was very far-fetched.
"Dinah, I came to ask," Peyton stopped mid-sentence as she walked in and saw that I was here.
I don't know if my mind was playing tricks on me, but I was surprised when I saw relief cross her eyes.
"For a favour," She continued.
Dinah grinned as she looked from Peyton to me.
"You know what, Caleb, you're right. My binders do look better on my table. Can you guys be a dear and put them back for me?"
I didn't even notice that she had moved slowly back to the door.
Before I could respond, she threw a wink at Peyton and quickly walked out of the room.
Peyton rolled her eyes at Dinah and studied me with a neutral gaze.
"So about that deal?"