Phil "The Fill" O'Malley's fist came rocketing towards my face. Instinctively I started to duck until I remembered I was invincible. Then I slammed my face into his fist. I heard bones pop, crack, and break.

"Fuck, my fist!" Phil said.

"I'd rather not fist fuck you unless I'm getting paid to do it," I said. "I don't clip my nails as often as I should."

I bent my knees then popped up and uppercutted Phil in the chin. Phil stumbled back and felt his chin. His hand came back bloody. "Ow," he said. "You just made me bleed!"

"I'm sorry?" I said. "Wait!"

Phil stopped mid-swing. "What?"

"Raphael!" I yelled.

"Yes?" He answered.

"Can I still bet on myself?" I said.

"Uh, sure. I guess. How much?" He said.

I opened my wallet and pulled out two hundred dollar bills because that's all that was in there. "Two hundred!" I tried to hand the money up to Raphael but it was too far.

Raphael lied down on the ground next to the pit and stuck his arm through the caging surrounding the ring. "Come closer."

I pressed myself against the wall of the ring and extended my arm as far up as it would go. "That's all I got."

"Tippy toes!" He said.

I got on my tippy toes and pushed the money up. He finally grabbed it out of my hand.

"Thanks," he said. "Alright, go back to fighting."

I started to turn around when Phil's fist impacted my head. His knuckles popped against my head but nothing broke because I wasn't leaning into it.

"Ow!" He said. "What's wrong with your head?"

I kicked him in the side of the knee, tearing his ACL and LCL, and sending him to the ground. I punched him in the face and a few of his teeth flew out of his mouth. I stepped back and let him try to get to his feet. He barely stood up on one leg. He threw one last punch that I dodged and I uppercut him so hard that he lifted into the air and slammed onto his back on the hard concrete floor of the pit. He didn't move after that. Everyone was silent after that.

Something landed on my face. I picked it off and looked at it. It was a hundred-dollar bill. Then I saw nine more on the ground. Raphael had thrown my winnings at me from above. I must have had 5 to 1 odds.

"I call cheating!" A guy jumped down into the pit and landed next to me. He was a little shorter than me with balding red hair and a crooked nose. He poked me in the chest. "What are you using? A four-leaf clover? A rabbit's foot? Maybe a voodoo doll? No one takes hits like that from "The Fill" and walks away!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, little guy," I said.

"Little guy? I'll show you a little guy!" He said.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don't want to see your penis!" I said.

"I'm not going to show you my penis, you idiot! I'm going to do this!" He said. He slowly grew taller and more muscular until he was a buff 6'5" Irish man with a long red beard and gold horns.

"What the hell?" I said.

"What, you've never seen a leprechaun before?" He said grinning. He was massive. His fist was as big as my head.

"Uh, no, obviously not. I feel the need to say this despite you already answering this question. Leprechauns are real?" I said.

"Of course, they're real. Where do you think you are right now?" He said.

"A Nazi bar?" I said.

"A Nazi bar? Ha! That's just something we do to scare away tourists. You're not a tourist are you?" He said.

"Me? A tourist? No way," I said unconvincingly.

"He's a tourist! Lock it down!" He said. Someone pulled a lever. Alarms blared and red lights flashed. The leprechaun tried to grab me. "Come here, you little tourist!"

"No! Get away from me! Stranger danger!" I said. I dodged out of the way of his grasp.

"Dave! We need to get out of here, now!" Lucifer said.

"Yeah, no duh!" I said.

I ran up the wall of the pit, grabbed the edge, and began to pull myself up. The leprechaun grabbed my leg and tried to pull me down. "No! Stop that!" I said. I kicked him in the face, knocking him back.

"Ow, my nose!" The leprechaun said as he shrunk back down to his smaller size. Wait, did hitting him in the nose make him shrink? Better store that away for later in case I run into more.

I climbed through the caging around the pit and flipped over onto my back. Lucifer pulled me up. I looked around the bar as the patrons began to transform. One turned into a massive furry creature that I can assume was a werewolf. Another turned into a pale white humanoid with black eyes and pointy ears. Not sure what that was.

Then I looked to my left and saw a dude in a fighting stance staring at me. He began to morph and change. He got skinnier and taller. His clothes disappeared and then reappeared, black and raggedy. His skin got pale white and his lips and the skin around his eyes turned black. His hair turned black and spiky and wavy at the same time. Once the transformation was complete, he looked at himself and then he looked at me.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

"What the fuck, dude?" He said.

"What? You're acting like I did that to you," I said.

"I'm supposed to turn into your deepest darkest fear!" He said.

"What? Emo kids were really mean to me in high school," I said.

He looked like an emo kid from my high school days. He specifically looked like my biggest bully, Charlie. He was this emo kid who'd always call me a normie and a prude, and would knock shit out of my hands and rip my backpack open, spilling everything onto the ground. I always wondered why he picked on me so much, but thinking about it now, I'm pretty sure he had a crush on me. He never said he was gay, but why else was I the only person he ever bullied? He also slapped my butt and squeezed my balls a lot. I didn't think much of it at the time since it hurt, but he was probably sexually harassing me. Damn you, Charlie!

"This doesn't feel right," the guy said in Charlie's voice as he looked at his painted black fingernails. "And why do I have an overwhelming attraction to you. I want to kiss you, but I also want to punch you. This feels weird!"

"I'm sorry turning my fears against me didn't work out for you, but I have bigger problems to worry about!" I said. I kicked him in the stomach sending him flying back.

"Come on!" Lucifer said, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward the entrance.

Two large men stood in front of us and transformed into red skinned demons. They were tall and spindly with long fingers, wearing red suits with black shirts. They grabbed me and Lucifer and one of them said, "We're sorry sir, but you're going to have to come with us."

"Kevin? Dale? Stand down this instant! I am your commander-in-chief!" Lucifer said.

Several more patrons transformed into demons as well until we were surrounded by them. "This is for your own good." They said to the devil.

As they closed in, there was a brilliant flash of white light. It knocked back all the demons to the ground, but left me and Lucifer standing. Raphael walked through the bright light and said, "Things are getting hairy. I need to get you two out of here."

"Who are you?" Lucifer said.

"Do you not recognize your own brother?" Raphael said.

"I have many brothers. Which one are you?" Lucifer said.

"It's me, Raphael!" Raphael said.

"Raph! Now I remember! It's been so long! How are you?" He said.

"I'm glad you finally recognized me, but now's not the time," Raph said.

I looked at Lucifer quizzically and said, "Do you not look at name tags?"

Lucifer looked at me like I was crazy. "No! Never! Why would I respect the help enough to learn their names?"

"I don't even know how to respond to that," I said dumbfounded.

"Stop making jokes, and follow me," Raph said.

The demons were starting to wipe their eyes and get up. We followed Raph through the bar. I watched as he put his hand up and flashed every monster and mythical creature that came after us with a brilliant white light that knocked them down and blinded them. He got the werewolf, a ghost, some vampires, a ghoul, and even some random old man. Knocked him right to the ground, cane and all. He took us behind the bar and rearranged some bottles on the wall until the wall opened up and we squeezed through. Once we were through, he pulled the walls shut and put a metal bar through the handles to keep it shut.

There was a light overhead, but only here near the door. He grabbed a torch off the wall and lit it. Then he led us down a long dark tunnel. As we walked, he said, "I've been undercover there for years, watching comings and goings, and informing the right people when bad things went down. Then you guys come in here and blow my cover in 20 minutes. What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"We're sorry?" I said.

"Speak for yourself," Lucifer said. "I'm just babysitting him until the time runs out on our bet. He's the one who wanted to come here."

"Hey, I just thought I was going to beat up some Nazis and make a little money. I didn't expect whatever that was," I said.

"Yeah, what was all that Raph? I didn't know there was a supernatural gathering spot here," Lucifer said.

"I have to say, I'm a little surprised," Raph said. "The demons have been planning something big. I thought it was with your approval, but I guess they've been doing it behind your back."

"What have they been planning?" I asked.

"I don't know. I felt like I was getting really close. They let me bartend and serve their private meetings, but now all that is over. My cover is blown. I can't go back. They'll tear me apart. I may be an archangel, but enough demons can take down even me. It might take a hundred of them, but they could do it," Raphael said.

"They didn't let anything loose while you were in their meetings?" I said.

"They did let one thing loose. They're planning to bring about the apocalypse. They think once the final judgment happens, they won't have to stick around as demons much longer. Once all the souls have been sent to the appropriate circles of hell and properly punished for their misdeeds, they can take vacations, or even leave hell indefinitely and go on to do their own things," Raphael said.

"But how do they plan to do that?" I said.

"That, I don't know," he said. "They didn't reveal that."

"Hmm," Lucifer said rubbing his chin. "I might know someone who would know."

"Who?" I and Raph said at the same time.

"Mephistopheles," Lucifer said.

"You know where he is? We've been trying to track him down for ages," Raphael said.

"Who's that?" I said

"He's a general in my army. His domain is gambling and deal-making. He does most of the devil deals, but I wanted to take your challenge on myself, since you specifically targeted me with your initial declaration. He's also an excellent information gatherer. He likes to know everything that's going on in the world, supernatural or not," Lucifer said.

"You're taking me with you right?" I said.

"I think this is beyond the scope of your abilities. You should go home and just wait for me to kill you tomorrow," he said.

"No way! That's boring! Besides, I might actually useful skills you could use," I said.

"Like what? I'm sorry to say, but getting drunk and cutting off your own hands aren't typically considered useful skills," Lucifer said.

"No, no! Gambling, you idiot! I'm an expert gambler. Especially when it comes to card games. If you get me in a card game with him, I guarantee you I'll win," I said. I wasn't lying. I was a top notch gambler.

"Don't you have a huge gambling debt?" The Devil said.

"Yes, but that was because I was wasted. As long as I don't get drunk, I'm amazing," I said.

"If you're willing to pay the consequences if you lose, I'll take you along," he said.

"Yes!" I said pumping my fist.

"Do you need back up?" Raphael said.

"I appreciate the thought, but you'll spook him. It's better if you wait for us outside," Lucifer said.

"Ok, but you better not ditch me. I'm in charge of this investigation upstairs. I need to keep reassuring people that everything is going according to plan, or all heaven might break loose," he said.

"Good to know," Lucifer said.

"Are we almost out of here?" I said. "We've been walking for like a mile."

"Oh yeah we can leave whenever we want," Raphael said. "This is the endless corridor of Gostelf. It can show up anywhere you need it to for a quick escape and it can disappear just as quickly. Oh, and you can leave whenever and wherever you want. Snap and a door will open up to your intended destination."

I went to snap, but Lucifer put his hand over mine. "You don't know where we're going," he said.

"Oh, right," I said.

He snapped his fingers and a door opened in the side of the corridor. We all walked through it and arrived outside a Casino titled "The Last Temptation." It was displayed in neon above the entrance. We walked up to the casino and Lucifer said to Raphael, "You wait here. He'll notice you as soon as you step inside."

Lucifer and I walked through the doors and were immediately flanked by security guards dressed in fancy black suits and wearing sunglasses at night. A security guard with a red tie, clearly someone of authority, said, "If you gentlemen could please accompany us. Our boss wants a word."

"Fine," I said.

"Good," Lucifer said smiling.

We followed the man in the red tie through a series of doors and down a number of hallways and corridors. We entered a pair of doors covered in gold filigree. A man sat in a chair facing away from us looking over the casino floor through reflective glass.

"Close the doors," he said. He spun around in his chair like a spy villain and stopped, facing us. "Now, what could the Prince of Darkness and some random guy be doing in my casino?" He smiled a devilish grin.