Chapter 68 Fake Tears

Isaac and Lenna entered the Adventurers’ Guild Hall just in time to see a tired Mark hand Alice a small stack of papers. “Hope you’re happy, little lady.” Mark told her.

“Thanks Mark.” Alice replied. “I’ll read over this and file it. You could have gotten some sleep first.”

“Esk wouldn’t shut up so we all worked on it together.” Mark explained. “For being exhausted he sure had a lot of energy when we finally got back. Damn kids.”

Alice giggled. “You must have had quite the adventure.” She commented.

“We did. We’ll be back with the loot at some point.” He promised her. “I’m going to bed.”

Alice giggled again. “Okay, pleasant dreams.” She wished him softly with an even softer smile.

“Only if they’re of you, Alexis.” He replied and winked at her before turning to leave. As soon as he did so he saw Isaac and Lenna standing just inside the door and his eyes widened slightly. The Guild Hall was empty save for the four of them so Mark didn’t have to worry about being quiet. He started towards the door. “Can you keep a brother’s secret?” He asked Isaac with a hint of concern in his voice.

Isaac raised an eyebrow in question even as he tried, and failed, to suppress a smile. “That you’re courting half of the guild receptionists in Safeharbor or that you are acting like an old man as soon as your younger teammates are out of earshot?” Isaac questioned.

Mark coughed into his hand. “The former.” He replied.

Isaac laughed and Lenna chuckled while shaking her head. “Why keep it a secret?” Lenna questioned while Isaac got his laughter under control. He was having way too much fun picking on the warrior.

“Are you kidding?” Mark questioned. “I wouldn’t survive the night. Parental figures will come out of the woodwork and all the boys her age will put out a bounty on my head.”

Lenna shook her head at him again. “Just get stronger.” She told him.

“Or marry her.” Isaac cut in. “By then it would be too late.”

“I, uh,” Mark looked back at Alexis who looked back at him with a mix of hearts in her eyes and a lingering question. “I need some sleep.” Mark said and nodded in Isaac and Lenna’s general direction before ducking out.

Isaac and Lenna approached the receptionist. “So?” Isaac questioned with a glint of mischievousness. “How long has that been going on?”

Alice looked anywhere but at Isaac. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?” She replied and then got serious. “But seriously, please keep it a secret for now. Receptionists aren’t allowed to be involved with their adventurers. Even if Alecia would probably be fine, I would definitely get fired.”

“You don’t think Edward would sweep it under the rug?” Isaac asked.

Alexis shrugged. “Maybe.” She replied. “But I don’t want to put him in that kind of situation if I don’t have to.”

Isaac nodded. “Understandable.” He said. “We’ll keep it a secret for you.” His brows then furrowed. “You are aware of how old he is though, right?”

Alexis rolled her eyes. “He’s not that much older than me.” She countered.

“He’s almost old enough to be your father.” Isaac reposted.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“You can’t come at me with that Lord Wexler, your Lady V’Nova over there is ten times your age at least.” Alexis shot back.

“She’s a long-lived race. That’s different. In your case it’s the opposite. You are the long-lived one but he is older. Your midlife crisis will happen when you bury him of old age.” Isaac explained.

Alexis winced and recoiled as if she had been physically struck. “I… It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.” She told Isaac.

Isaac nodded. “As long as you’ve thought it through.” He told her. “Now, we have some of our group’s loot. The problem is that it needs Identified while it is still in our custody. After that is done we’ll be giving it to Jalla for her horror story experiments.”

Alexis nodded in understanding. “If Magus Alexander sends a note down with the creature’s information on it we will count that as fact. In cases like this, when the truth of the story is difficult to back up, we rely on written reports and occasionally testimony. Any information given to us by a court mage or guard captain is considered fact unless someone specifically disputes it.” She explained. “Do you have any other loot that needs to be dealt with?”

Lenna shook her head. “No.” She answered the ‘little lady’ behind the receptionist’s counter.

“The Flame Ravens have all of the sellable loot.” Isaac explained. “We’ll be back tomorrow morning for the bounty payout. If you need any more time just let us know then.”

Alexis nodded. “Will do.” She replied. “Will you be back later today?”

Isaac shrugged. “Maybe for the library, maybe not.” He told her. “We’ll see.”

“Alright, see you tomorrow.” Alexis bid them farewell.

“One last thing before we go,” Isaac began. “tell Edward that five gold each was not enough. He better approved a good payout for this. Also he better reimburse Shy for her consumables that were used. She deserves it.”

Alexis nodded again. “I’ll let him know.”

Isaac smirked and turned to leave. “Oh and good luck on your courting adventure.” He wished her before leaving.

“Yes, may the moon guide you and fate bless you.” Lenna told Alexis with a warm smile before joining her mate. Alexis just looked after them unsure of what to say or how to respond.

—

“I love you!” Jalla exclaimed at near ear splitting volume. “You actually did it!” She went on. Lenna had just dumped the mushroomancer corpse onto one of Jalla’s tables and Isaac handed Fen the ball of mushroom creature in a sealed box. Jalla threw her arms around her niece for a strong yet brief hug before she practically threw the younger elf away from her as she whirled on the corpse with far too much passion. She started humming while floating all of the mushroomancer’s bits and pieces over to another table that had the Identify ritual already carved into the stone. The ritual may have been made but it was not filled with magical chalk nor a precious metal. Instead, Jalla dumped mana into the open carvings and her mana followed the predetermined path before enacting the ritual. She spent five times as much mana that way but it was far cheaper than filling in the ritual with gold like most mages. Stone was an even worse conductor of magic than air which was the reason for the engraved ritual instead of a raised one.

“Thanks.” Fen grumbled offhandedly to Isaac upon taking the box from his outstretched hand. “I’m not going to sleep for the rest of the week now.”

Isaac shrugged. “She’s your wife. I’m sure you could work something out.” He replied.

“Like what?” Fen questioned indignantly.

“Sleeping powder in her tea.” Isaac replied directly.

Fen paused before thinking about it for a long moment. “She does have sedatives in the cabinet.” He thought aloud. “We’ll see. I might have to resort to that depending on what is in this box.”

“A live ball of flesh mushroom monster.” Isaac explained. He was talking at a somewhat quiet but normal volume. Even so, Jalla heard none of it. She was far too focused on her ritual to hear them. Lenna’s aura flared momentarily but only Isaac and Fen noticed.

“Someone spying on you?” Fen asked.

Isaac nodded. “Your brother-in-law.” Isaac explained. “I’m going to put a spike in his throat if he keeps this up.” He punctuated the point by pulling a throwing spike out of thin air and starting to twirl it around his fingers. Isaac stopped and tossed it back in his Inventory when he heard the sound of approaching footsteps.

Alexander walked into the room with a yawn. His dark hair was a mess and he had bags under his eyes. It looked as though he had just woken up after far too little sleep. “I’m here.” He told Isaac, Lenna, and Fen. “So, what did you need me for so early in the morning?”

“New monsters that need Identified before Jalla tears them apart. The guild needs your written testimony of their level and some basic information.” Isaac explained.

“And Lady L’Vore’s testimony isn’t a certified source.” Alexander grumbled. She was a higher level wizard than he was but she was also technically a prisoner of war. No one treated her as such but one look at Fen showed exactly how the Kingdom of Altia saw the pair.

“Correct.” Lenna replied. “She’s getting a scalpel.”

“What?” Alexander blinked and looked over at Jalla. She hadn’t left the site of her ritual but an invisible force was bringing her what looked like surgical tools one at a time. “Lady L’Vore! Lady L’Vore please wait until I can at least Identify it myself!” He called out while jogging over to her. It appeared that dealing with Jalla was quickly cleansing him of any remnants of sleep.

“It appears not only you have your hands full.” Isaac said to Fen while watching the spectacle unfold of Alexander trying to get Jalla to slow down long enough that he could do what was asked of him.

“You don’t know half of it.” Fen commented and started walking towards his mate. Lenna joined him and both of them looped an arm around Jalla and drug her away from the ritual and her tools. The ritual was almost over and she had already made a connection so she didn’t need to hover over the corpse like she had been. Jalla protested a bit before she realized that there was no way that she would be escaping her mate and niece’s grasps.

“I don’t love you anymore.” Jalla pouted to her niece. “And why are you always so mean to me?” She questioned with wide eyes that looked on the verge of tears to her mate.

“If your fake tears worked on me I would have been one of your experiments by now.” Fen replied coldly. “Just wait until the boy finishes then you can go play.” Jalla, for her part, shut up with a huff and just started pouting.