Chapter 66 Assistant

“Perfect.” Isaac told Shamesh. “That is the best volume. Can you mark it somehow so you don’t lose your calibration?”

“Not exactly.” Shamesh replied. “I have a perfect memory. I think. I should be able to match this volume again easily in the future.”

“This is so insane.” Isaac said more to himself than to Lenna or Shamesh.

“I know.” Lenna replied. “He is actually talking to us.”

“I never thought I would see the day.” Isaac agreed.

“Is that good?” Shamesh questioned.

Isaac chuckled. “I have no idea.” He replied honestly. “But I hope it is.”

“How could it be bad?” Lenna wondered.

Isaac shrugged. “I’m not sure but I have this vague feeling that sentient man-made creations are a bad idea.” He told her. “It is probably something left over from my old life. Those feelings never make any sense without context.”

Lenna nodded. “I think it is a good thing, Shamesh.” She told the skeleton. “Now, we need to find a way to help you blend in.” Isaac’s face suddenly brightened with an idea that he certainly thought was spectacular. “Oh no.” Lenna said to herself.

“A butler.” Isaac said with absolute certainty. “A bone golem butler is completely on brand for the Lord of Darkness itself.”

“I… uh…” Lenna began but kept stopping herself. “That is a bad idea, I am sure of it, but I don’t know why, yet.”

“That means it is worth a try.” Isaac replied. “Worst case, the inquisitors show up, which they would anyway if we tried nothing.” Lenna opened her mouth to argue but then just decided to sigh. “Great, no objections.” Isaac said and immediately went for his spare clothes. He pulled out a black button shirt and pants as well as his old pair backup-backup-backup boots, all the other ones had been destroyed or were a part of his dragonscale armor. “Come here, let’s get you dressed.” Isaac told his physical shadow.

Shamesh did as he was told and all three of them struggled to get the clothes on him. It required some odd movements, for the skeleton, but they finally managed it. The pants were a bit too wide around the waist so they used Lenna’s spare belt to keep them up. Both the pants and shirt were an inch too long and the boots were an inch too big. “This does not look the same.” Shamesh told his master.

Isaac chuckled. “No, it does not. But it will have to do, for now. Maybe we can go to Jessica first and get her to size something for you.” Isaac offered.

“Jessica only does formalwear, you wear formalwear under your armor everyday. Butler attire would be done by someone else. I am sure Marie, or whoever Sera’s head maid is, would know.” Lenna explained.

“After we talk to Jala for a bit, we can go see Sera and Izen.” Isaac said and Lenna nodded in agreement.

—

Isaac gestured out to the side and a black void opened up. A being made of bone that loosely resembled an elf rose out of the void wearing a black button shirt, black pants with a black belt, and black leather boots, none of which fit it properly. Fen snorted a laugh and then quickly schooled himself. “Did you play dress-up with a skeleton like a child necromancer?” Fen teased. “What poor soul’s body is that that must be subjected to such horrors?”

“Shamsha’s.” Isaac explained and Fen went deathly quiet. Jala finally turned to look and almost dropped the tuning fork that was in her hand. She sat it on the counter next to her without looking and hurried over to Shamesh.

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“Is it really?” Jala asked Isaac. “It looks nothing like him.”

“Well I should hope not.” Isaac retorted. “It isn’t actually Shamsha. His name is Shamesh because he-”

“He’s a combination of Shamsha and your dragon.” Jala cut him off.

“Yes.” Isaac confirmed. “Do you have any ideas on how to disguise him to prevent mass panic?”

Jala snapped her head to the side to give him a gaze full of shock and horror. “Hide him?!” She exclaimed. “You are so close to greatness, boy, and you wish to hide him?!”

“If too many people cause a panic about him then the inquisition will show up to smite him down to his component atoms.” Isaac very directly explained to her. “We need to make people be comfortable around him so that doesn’t happen.”

“They were fine with the dragon.” Jala shot back.

Isaac ran his hand over his face. “That is because humans are only okay with that sort of thing if it doesn’t look at all like them. Hells, they would probably be fine if they knew he was a dark elf skeleton and not a light elf one.” He tried to explain to the old totally-not-a-witch.

“Humans need proper genetic guidance to be less stupid.” Jala countered.

Isaac opened his mouth to reply but mentally stumbled for a second as he tried to formulate a reply. “That is definitely not something you should be doing.” Isaac settled on just attempting to keep her from playing at being a god over humans.

Jala huffed in irritation. “Just, put a hat on him and get some properly fitting clothes or something.” She waved him off and turned back to Shamesh.

“I’m sure there are Disguise items within your reach.” Fen offered them. “If not, just get the boy upstairs to do it. He definitely knows that spell, every real wizard does.” Isaac blinked at him and then turned back to look at Jala. “She’s many things but a conventional wizard is not one of them.” Fen corrected Isaac’s train of thought.

“I’ll be right back.” Isaac said and teleported away to get Alexander.

“A new toy skeleton eh?” Fen asked Lenna.

“He isn’t a toy.” Lenna explained. “Right Shamesh?”

“I feel like one right now.” The skeleton said helplessly as Jala poked at him. At the sound of his voice she froze and then slowly looked up to meet his eyes with ever widening ones of her own.

“You speak?!” Jala exclaimed. “How? I felt the magic but how do you know it? Explain. Everything.” She ordered the skeleton.

Shamesh looked at Lenna, and even without facial muscles, she could tell that his gaze was pleading for help. “Not until Isaac gets back.” Lenna told Jala. “If he doesn’t want to tell you then he won’t but if you try to pry it out now then you definitely won’t be getting anything out of them.”

Jala huffed in irritation again. “Fine.” She spat and called her tuning fork to her hand with a flick of her wrist. The instrument flew across the room in a gentle arch until it landed firmly in her hand. She quickly rapped it against Shamesh’s forehead before the skeleton could react. She held it up to her ear and then nodded to herself. “I see.” She said and pulled a notebook out of her robes and a pen out of her sleeve. She set them down on the table next to Shamesh and started scribbling in it frantically.

“Now she is never going to leave.” Fen cursed under his breath.

“Leave?” Lenna questioned.

Fen glanced at her with a frown. “Yes. I have been wanting to get out of this hole in the ground for months but she won’t leave until her work here is finished and now she will never be finished. Not with your mate being as weird as he is.” He explained.

Lenna looked back over at her aunt and nodded. “Yes. I don’t think you’ll be going anywhere anytime soon.” She told her uncle. “Which is a good thing. Isaac isn’t one to forgive debts until he feels like you have paid it off.”

“And we haven't” Fen questioned.

Lenna shook her head. “Not yet. Mostly you have just been stacking them up.” She told him honestly. “Isaac is perfectly fine with that, for some reason, but he won’t be if you decided to leave without paying him back.”

“What would constitute a proper payment?” Fen questioned and seemed to lean in slightly.

“Knowing Isaac, probably something either as small as a lens that changes dark mana into the full spectrum or something as large as a perfect copy of the moon.” Lenna explained just as Isaac reappeared.

“What about a copy of the moon?” Isaac questioned, entirely unaware of what he had just teleported back into.

“Fen wants to know what you would need to consider their debt paid.” Lenna explained which got a scowl from Fen.

“Oh, yeah, a copy of the moon would do it. Specifically one that is always bright and can interpose itself in front of the dark side of the moon as the phases change so it would always appear to be a full moon.” Isaac quickly agreed. “For the sole reason of spiting the half-spider half-man all bastard.”

Lenna huffed a laugh but Fen’s body language was perfectly neutral. Jala hadn’t even heard their conversation itself but upon hearing Isaac’s voice she turned and immediately demanded answers. “Explain why he can talk.” She told Isaac. “I, must, know, how he can cast spells even though you are only feeding him dark mana.”

“Oh, uh, I have no idea.” Isaac replied to his mate’s aunt. “I’m actually curious about that myself.” Isaac’s eyes suddenly locked onto Shamesh as he felt a sudden feeling of helplessness and panic from the skeleton. “What’s wrong?” He asked aloud.

“Am I a toy?” Shamesh questioned his master.

“What?” Isaac replied. “No. Why?”

“Fen called me a toy. Jala is treating me like one. I would like it to stop.” Shamesh explained.

Isaac frowned. “Aren’t you curious as to how you function?” Isaac asked his physical shadow.

Shamesh shook his head. “Should I be? Are you?” The skeleton questioned.

“I already know how my body functions, so, not any more.” Isaac replied.

“You know how your body functions?” Jala questioned him. “To what extent?”

“All of it, I think. I don’t remember learning about it but I know what organs do what and how. Why?” Isaac asked.

“What about non-human bodies?” She questioned him further.

Isaac shrugged. “I only really know what crosses over. Maybe a little about fish? Again, why?”

Jala tsked. “I could use an assistant but you won’t do.” She explained and then went back to measuring Shamesh like nothing had happened between them. If Isaac didn’t know, and the skeleton wasn’t leaving, then she would take the time she was given to try and uncover as many of their secrets about artificial life as possible.