“I thought it was a zai – an energy clone at first,” said Sinastar after a long moment. “But when I went to check, it was still there. I haven't seen anything like it before.”
“So you don't know what it is?” asked Jason.
“It looked like –” He visibly considered leaving his speculation unspoken. “– a demon.”
“A demon?” Her eyes flitted sideways to connect with Jason's, their previous awkwardness forgotten in light of the latest revelation.
“Not gonna lie. At this point it wouldn't surprise me if it was.” He shrugged. “After chi-powers, a secret country, and murdering sisters, why can't it be a demon?”
“Did my – Did Saytarnia send it?” To get me? The unspoken part of her question didn't line up with Sinastar's apparent beliefs about her sister.
“I don't know,” admitted Sinastar. He drew a knee up to his chest and tucked one ankle behind the other, resting his arm on the joint and half covering his mouth. “But I don't think so.”
“Why? Because she doesn't send other creeps to do her dirty work?” Jason's hard laughter shot tiny darts into her skin and something about Sinastar's lack of eye contact convinced her that some of them had struck him as well.
“That too,” he murmured. “I don't think she wants Satara dead.”
“Say what?” Jason laughed again but sounded less oxygenated this time.
“I told Satara a bit more about everything. About how things were before.” She nodded as he looked at her. “Saytarnia cared about Satara more than anything and anyone else.”
“Mate, that is not what it looked like back there. Trust me.” Jason's eyes flitted from his face to hers as if he thought they had planned to trick him. “She was beating the crap outta –”
“– I think, before we go anywhere else, we should say what we're all going to do from now on. Clearly. To make sure we're all on the same page,” she said, avoiding Jason's half wounded, half alarmed gaze. “Once I know the Langs are safe, I'll go back to your homeland. And I'll learn how to fight like you do.”
He dipped his head like a sage but the firelight that flickered across his dark eyes suddenly burned a brighter gold. She turned to Jason and the expectancy of her gaze seemed to distract him from whatever had soured his expression.
“I'm here because Tara's here.” He looked away from her and at Sinastar. “I wanna learn everything she learns. And if she goes, I'm gone too. That's it really.”
He shrugged and started poking the fire again. If he had said the same thing during one of their classes, she would have nudged him with a smile and told him to get his own personality. But now the words hung like an unpaid debt on her psyche and her chest ached.
“What are you going to do, Sinastar?” Is this the first time I've called him by his name? To his face? It's weird.
“I'll wait until I can confirm the Langs' safety for you,” he said. “We can head back home after that, though we'll make a quick stop somewhere first.”
“Okay.” She almost asked him where they were stopping. If he wanted us to know, he would've mentioned it.
“Thank you. For agreeing to come with me,” he said. The sincerity in his tone made her eyes narrow. “It makes things a lot easier for me.”
“What would you've done if I hadn't?” Jason looked at her, clearly just as surprised as she was by her own open curiosity.
“I would've waited until you did,” he answered swiftly as if he had been the only one to expect the question from her.
“What if I never agreed to go back with you?” His patience was either a bomb or a water balloon. She prodded it, hoping to confirm its identity before it blew up in their faces. “What if I reported you to the police?”
“I'd have stayed out of your sight. And theirs.” He smiled, oozing a strange blend of shyness and confidence. “I'm fairly good at that when I need to be.”
“For how long? Don't you have to go back home?” She swallowed the chiding elder edge to her voice. Is he saying he'd stalk me until I agreed to go back with him? That's supposed to be scary, isn't it?
The alarm bells in her mind were absolutely silent. For the first time in a very long time – in forever – the weight of impending danger had forsaken her shoulders. As if Sinastar's presence had turned down a dial and given her the chance to experience a world without apprehension. I don't know him. At least, I can't remember what it was like to know him. Is it because he saved us? It just doesn't make any sense otherwi –
“My home is incomplete without you, Satara.” He had the decency to look away from her reaction to his words as it was shoved out into the open by the flow of her blood to her face. “You might not believe me yet. But I hope one day you will.”
The mortified enlargement of Jason's eyes confirmed she had heard it right and Sinastar really had said all of it out loud.
“Well, I'm hungry,” he said as she turned her face the other way and rubbed her visible cheek as if it had grown cold. “Got any snacks?”
“I have this for now.” Sinastar didn't react to the flustered silence. Instead he pulled his hiking bag towards him and set three Pot Noodle cups in front of them. “Tomorrow we'll eat better.”
“Hey, I thought we were gonna have to eat rabbits or something so this ain't so bad.” Jason laughed but the sound was fabricated, mostly forced, and the difference was obvious to her.
“I've got chicken and mushroom, Chinese chow mein, and Bombay bad boy.” Her cousin picked up each pot and read the labels in turn before questioning them with his eyes.
“I kind of want the Bombay one but I should probably have the mushroom one, right?” Jason stuck out his bottom lip like a sulky five year old.
“Why?” asked Sinastar.
“Because Tara likes chow mein and you're obviously a bad boy.” He grinned but his expression rocked like a car hanging off a cliff edge. “Besides I'm the only one here who's kinda white.”
“'The hell, Jayce?” She tapped the ground next to him. “What's that got to do with anything?”
He moved his knee further away from her hand but his grin changed gears and reversed back up to safety.
“I like all of these flavours,” added Sinastar, holding the black cup out to him along with a plastic fork.
He then passed her the chow mein one. What doesn't he have in there? He retrieved a thermal flask from the bag and poured water from a plastic bottle into it. After twisting the lid back on, he held it between his hands for several seconds and stared at it with an odd intensity she thought she wasn't supposed to see. When he reopened it, steam billowed out from its mouth and for some reason she hadn't expected it. He can use that power to do so many things! Is it because it's fire?
“When do you want to start training?” he asked as they waited for the noodles to soften. “We have some time before it gets dark.”
“We can start today?” Jason lifted his head excitedly.
“We can cover some of the theory today and maybe identify your zai-types as well.” Sinastar touched the ground between them. “But first I'd like to check your injuries, Satara. You're still recovering so we'll have to be careful.”
“Now?” He nodded at her. Her pride huffed at him from behind the barrier of her mind. “Okay. But how?”
Sinastar stood up and glanced at the Pot Noodle cups arranged in a triangle away from the fire before stepping around his hiking bag to get to her.
“May I?” He gestured at her back.
May you what? She nodded and he sat down behind her. Though he didn't touch her, his hands seemed to warm the back of her clothes. The temperature rose, stopping only once it bordered on uncomfortable, and the heat moved like a water bottle being dragged all over her back. She couldn't see what he was doing, only the telltale blue glow of his power.
“That's what he did when we first got to the flats,” said Jason, promptly narrating the other guy's actions. “He covered his hands in blue fire and like massaged it into you – into your skin. Through your clothes. Obviously.”
He fake laughed again. Does that mean neither of them … saw me? The female-shaped modesty inside her crossed its arms over its chest and sighed with a tight smile.
“And that's zai?” She turned her head and winced as the heat spread like hot water filling her ribcage. She straightened up and watched the redness left by her attack on the demon vanish from her palms. She clenched her trouser legs in either hand and twisted the material. “You said it was like chi but you use it differently?”
“Most call it chi or qi when it's still inside you,” said Sinastar. “In our country, we've learnt how to use it beyond the confines of the body and give it a physical form. Usually it appears in the form of an element with an individual colour. Mine is Blue Fire.”
“What's mine?” she asked at exactly the same time at Jason. She lowered her eyelids at him and he scrunched his face up at her in return.
“You'll have to draw it out first before I can tell you. We can do that after we eat.” The heat surrounding her lungs slowly withdrew from inside her and then from the surface of her back. He placed a hand lightly on her shoulder and removed it before she could cringe. “The swelling has almost gone. You'll be completely healed in no time.”
“That's good.” She nodded and Jason picked up her Pot Noodle cup, passing it to her around the flames. “So we can start training straight after we eat? Or do we have to wait an hour?”
“We won't be doing anything that difficult. At least, not physically.” Sinastar returned to his spot and smiled at Jason as he held out the chicken and mushroom flavoured one. “Thank you.”
“You're welcome.” Her friend picked up his own cup and grinned at her. “Last one to finish gets a head flick!”
Satara threw the tinfoil cover aside and started eating as fast as she could.
<><><><><>
“When did you get that mark on your arm?” she asked as Sinastar held his hands over the flames. They shrank away from him like a cowering animal before disappearing.
If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
“What?” Jason looked away from his dirt speckled reflection on the side of the motorbike, rubbing a red patch at the centre of his forehead.
“That thing you used against the demon.” She nodded at their soon to be mentor. “The one Sinastar told you to use when you called him.”
“Oh this.” He dragged up his sleeve, possibly using it as an excuse to avoid looking at her. “Last night when you were sleeping. He said I could use it for emergencies whenever he wasn't around – Hey, it's gone!”
“That was a temporary seal.” Sinastar sat down and formed the third point of the triangle position they were now sitting in. “There was only enough for you to use it a couple of times. Or for one powerful attack or shield.”
“Enough?” She shifted to see them both equally and crossed her legs.
Her back muscles were a little fatigued from the continuous lack of support and it had been hours since she last had the chance to lie down.
“Zai seals come in many forms. But the one I placed on Jason was like a pocket with some of my zai inside it.” He touched the inside of his own wrist with two fingers. “I designed it to respond to his hands and only activate if he felt like either of you were in danger.”
“First it came out like a weapon and then it turned into a shield.” Jason rubbed where the mark had been, eyes vaguely wistful. “How come?”
“I needed it to be versatile enough to keep you safe until I came back.” Sinastar peeled off his jacket and Satara wished she could change out of her clothes too. The trees contained the heat of the fire too well. “I didn't expect you to use it so soon.”
“Why didn't you put it on me?”
“You were sleeping and –” Jason faltered, and his gaze flitted to the other guy. “– and I didn't think you'd want it.”
“Did you?” She tilted her head and pressed down on the feelings that bubbled like lava at the base of her throat. “Want it?”
“Well, if it's to keep us safe …” He shrugged and looked away.
What if it hadn't? What if that mark had killed you? You keep acting like you don't trust him but – Sinastar watched them in silence, waiting for them to finish. – or am I missing something? Something you can't say in front of him?
“I see.” She pushed up the sleeves of her kimono but they slid back down halfway. The temperature of the volcano in her chest started to raise. “Should we start?”
“You're both familiar with how to enter a state of self awareness,” said Sinastar, rolling up the sleeves of his own shirt. His smile was wide enough to squeeze his eyes shut as they stared at him. “I think your MMA instructor would have covered it when he was talking about chi. It's the same thing.”
Is he pretending he doesn't know exactly what happened in that lesson? Just so we don't realise how closely he was watching us? Satara studiously ignored the fact that the idea didn't bother as much as it should have and shifted into her meditating position just as she had a few days ago. So many things have happened since then.
“I'm going to call it zai from now on,” said Sinastar as he and Jason mirrored her pose. “That's what we call it back in – back home. And you'll be using it outside the body as well.”
He almost said the name of that secret country, didn't he? Damn it.
“As I said earlier, zai comes in many shapes and forms, and you can identify it by its element and colour.” Sinastar spoke slowly as if he needed to think about each word. Not like he's making it up. More like it's hard for him to talk for a long time. Satara averted her eyes. That's relatable. “I was taught a person' element is a reflection of their baseline personality or soul. And the colour is influenced by their life experiences and thoughts. People from the same family sometimes share the same element or colour but that's not always the case.”
He paused and, as she glanced at him, his eyes shifted quickly from her to Jason.
“Fire, water, air, and earth are the four core elements from which all the others branch off. That's why they're the most common. Some elements are a bit more rare such as light, darkness, sound and … lightning. Each one has its own distinct feel, strengths, and weaknesses.” He turned his hand over on his knee and a plume of fire appeared above his palm. “Some kinds of zai work better with others. Some are more vulnerable. It's important to work out the type and level of your opponent's zai as soon as possible.”
“Level?” asked Jason. His left hand had also shifted, palm facing the sky.
“It's the same with physical exercise. Some zai users start out as beginners and don't progress much further than that. Which is fine.” The Blue Fire hovering over his hand billowed out, crackling louder, and Satara leaned away from it instinctively in sync with Jason. Sinastar curled his fingers inwards and it shrunk again. “Others go on to reach pro-like levels. For them, using zai outside their bodies is as natural and as easy as breathing.”
He paused for a little longer this time. Presumably weighing the bombshell he was about to drop on them in his mind.
“Some have learnt how to develop more than one element but it's a long and difficult process. Even then, they may never be able to wield it with the same ability as a natural user. And some –” The Blue Flame in his palm flickered violently. “– some are born with more than one and it's just a matter of unlocking them. Some try to wake the ability in themselves by force.”
“How do they do it by force?” She pressed him with the question Jason clearly wasn't comfortable enough to ask.
“They steal zai from others,” he said quietly. A shameful secret. “To get familiar with the feel of a particular element and encourage their own bodies to mimic the same energy. Of course, taking another's zai without their consent isn't allowed even during a real battle. Though it can be a form of attack, most don't have the ability to control their own zai well enough to manipulate someone else's at the same time.”
Steal … zai? The past landed on her shoulders like an unexpected tiger attack, overwhelming the present with its snarling and claws.
“Tarya …” Her sister's neck was stable in her small arms, her torso tree trunk-like against her body. “Why you not talk Mama?”
Saytarnia's eyelids lowered for a second before her deep brown eyes found Satara's.
“Who said we're not talking?” she asked, expressionless, arms tightening only a little around her younger sister's back and beneath her knees.
“I know you not.” She frowned as the walls surrounding their house came into view. They would be home in a few seconds, even though Saytarnia was carrying her. “You not look her no more. Never.”
“Sometimes you can't stop bad things from happening,” said Saytarnia after a long moment, her voice lower than usual. “And when you think you can, I believe you should. Even if the cost seems too high. Mama doesn't agree.”
There were a lot of words she didn't understand. “What thing is bad?”
Saytarnia looked at the dormant volcano at the centre of their land, on the border between East and West Chirean.
“Betrayal by those who are supposed to protect you. Pain without purpose. Ambushes during moonless nights and dangers only you can see.” She chuckled coldly as they reached the gate and pressed her cheek to Satara's. “Don't worry, little one. You'll never have to worry about any of that with me on your side.”
“Tarya not well?” She twisted in her older sister's grasp and took hold of her face with both hands. “Someone hurt you?”
Saytarnia smiled. A feral sliver of teeth. A bloodied blade glinting beneath the sun. “No one can hurt me.”
“Tell me.” Satara tightened her grip on her sister's jawline and her chest tightened. “I hurt them back. I protect you.”
Saytarnia stopped walking and, for the first time in years, the silky smooth veil dropped away from her face. Satara saw open wounds behind her stare and tear tracks carved into her cheeks like scars. Dried blood on her lips and bruises smudged around them. Saytarnia opened her mouth and her breath was cold against Satara's face –
“Oy, Saytarnia!”
The soft veil dropped like a metal gate and blocked out her real face once again as she lifted her head and confronted the one who dared to address her with such disrespectful familiarity. A group of children roughly two years older than her sister advanced upon them, most looking anxiously between her and the boy who had called out her name. Saytarnia watched him and waited for them to either state their business or leave.
“We've been looking for you all day,” he complained, bristling as her gaze drifted up towards the sun and back down to his face.
“What for?” she asked at last. A word away from leaving them all outside the house.
“Where have you been?” he demanded.
“I don't have to answer that.” She set Satara down and held onto her hand. The same energy that usually appeared right before a fight surrounded them.
“We've got other questions,” he said, even as another boy beside him tugged at the sleeve of his yukata. “And we're not going until we get answers. Honest ones.”
Though her expressed remained unchanged, Saytarnia's hand twitched faintly around her fingers before letting go completely.
“Go inside,” she murmured, pushing Satara towards the gate, her voice flat and unfamiliar.
“But –” Saytarnia cut her off with a bloodless growl.
“Now, Satara.”
Her heart jolted in her chest –
“– Tara?”
She blinked. Jason was smiling at her, one hand on the ground by her knee as he leaned forward and rubbed the back of his head with his other.
“Yeah?” Her voice sounded deoxygenated, even to her. What the hell was that just now?
“You okay?” He looked at Sinastar, whose expression had dimmed in the aftermath of her memory.
“I think you zoned out for a second or something?”
She should have accepted the excuse he offered her and apologised to her cousin for not paying attention.
“Saytarnia,” she said and his dark gaze wavered at the sound of her sister's name. “Were her eyes always blue?”
“No. They were like ours,” he replied after a moment, glancing at Jason as he straightened up before speaking again. “Did you remember something?”
He's quick. She picked at the sleeve of her opposite arm. “I don't know. Maybe.”
“We can stop here if you want –” He paused as she held up a hand and shook her head.
“It's okay,” she said. “What do we do next?”
“Next we focus on hyper-self awareness.” He continued as if nothing had happened, shifting on the spot until his posture spine was correct, shoulders drawn back and both hands supinated on his knees. “We can start with meditation. I'll talk you through the rest.”
<><><><><>
“Are we going to drift like lotuses?” Jason's voice broke into the vivid darkness behind her eyelids, uncharacteristically sage-like, and she exhaled her irritation. “Floating on a sea of milk.”
She ignored him until he started humming like a Buddhist monk in a temple. The sound rose and fell like ocean waves.
“What the heck, Jayce?” She opened her eyes but kept her breathing steady, arms resting on her crossed legs as she forced her fingers to remain uncurled.
“I cannot hear thou. Lotuses do not have ears,” he said imperiously, opening one eye to squint at her. “Do they?”
“None of us are going to draw out zai at this rate,” she said. Only Sinastar's presence prevented her from thumping the knee closest to hers. His nursery teacher-like gaze embarrassed her enough. “Stupid.”
“I'm not stupid. Why the heck should I know what a lotus is? We don't have them here.” Jason seemed to notice the way her cousin was looking at them and lowered his tone as he spoke again. “Do we?”
“A lotus is a plant. A water lily, to be precise.” Sinastar nodded at her. “You used to have them in a pond by your house, Satara.”
“Really?” But we've never had a pond in our gard – Oh, right. He's not talking about the Cunninghams or the Langs.
“Yes. You always wanted to pick one by yourself.” He smiled at images only he could see. “One time you fell in and Saytarnia had to –”
He stopped mid sentence as if he had accidentally revealed a huge spoiler for a movie and stared at her as if he expected her to burst into tears. It's not the first time he's spoken about her. Why's he being weird about it now?
“Had to?” She drew the last word out for emphasis.
“She had to pull you out again.” He shook his head. “I'm sorry. This won't help either of you focus.”
“It's okay. We should probably start from the beginning again anyway.” She narrowed her eyes meaningfully at Jason, who touched his index fingers to his thumbs on either side and started humming again until Sinastar spoke up.
“If you're having trouble focusing on yourself, you can focus on a memory instead. Zai is a combination of physical energy and conscious intent, and emotion can have great affects on its strength and your control of it.” He held up a cautionary hand. “But you have to be careful when you use memories as triggers to release zai.”
“Whyyyy?” drawled Jason with an impish smile.
“Because if you release too much of it at once, depending on the quality of your zai, you could blowing yourself up by accident.”
“Dude, don't lie.” The humour leapt from her friend's face to her cousin's gaze where it darkened.
“I'm not lying.”
“Has anyone ever done that before?” Satara raised her eyebrows with a cynical smile.
“None that have lived to speak of it,” he replied, looking at his hands. “When it's done deliberately, most don't intend to survive.”
“Why the heck would anyone do that delib – Oh.” Jason glanced at her and bit his lip as if he had just asked a teacher something inappropriate without meaning to and didn't know how to fix the atmosphere.
She had always wondered what made him turn to her at those times as if he thought she would know how to help him.
“I believe a relative of mine did it to stop a loved one from destroying themselves and others in the future,” murmured Sinastar.
He didn't look at her. He didn't have to. Destroying themselves and others? He's talking about Saytarnia, isn't he? He's got that look again. Her sister's name started to resemble an itch between her shoulder blades. One she couldn't reach regardless of how much she twisted herself up to deal with it. But he hasn't mentioned a relative besides us before. Was it his brother or something?
“Okaaaay.” Jason clapped his hands and winced as it made an unnecessarily loud noise. “So go easy on the memories, right?”
“That's right.” Sinastar nodded with a weary smile. “And maybe try to save the humming for when you do it by yourself.”
“What? I was only trying to set the mood, you know –”
Satara shut her eyes and blocked out their faces as if she were closing double doors, trying to drown out their voices with her own internal monologue. That thing I saw earlier. It had to be a memory. How else would I've known her eyes weren't always blue? She remembered the roughness of Saytarnia's voice as she ordered her to go inside. The path that lead up to the front gate of their house, dusty but well worn beneath her sandals. The heat of the sun directly over head as it turned her sister's skin to from a moon-like paleness to a rich gold. What happened after that?
Surprisingly, the inner question answered itself and she plunged head first into the rest of the memory without warning.
She pushed open the gate and paused as she closed it behind her, peeking out. Her chest hurt. Saytarnia must have known the gate was still open but she kept her gaze on the boy who stood as close to her as he dared.
“I'm not sure why anyone would doubt my honesty,” she said, folding her arms behind her back. “But what do you want to know?”
“We want to know how you're stronger than us,” said the boy. “We train just as much as you in class. We study the same things. But you're always miles ahead of us, no matter what we try to do to catch up. It's not natural.”
She stared at him until he spoke again. “What's your secret? How do you know things only the masters know? Tell us, and we'll let it all go.”
He glanced at the crowd behind him and, thought they all stepped forward and murmured supportively, none of them seemed keen to voice their own thoughts aloud in her presence.
“Why am I stronger and more skilled than you?” she said at last. “Some are gifted, some aren't. Beyond that, I know as much about it all as you do. So I can't give you the answers you seek, truthful or not.”
“Are you saying you're gifted and we're not?” growled the boy.
“I don't think I need to say that.” She started to turn away as if she didn't want to see the red stain her words had painted across his cheeks. “Now you'll have to excuse me. My sister's waiting.”
“Gifted or cursed?” He stepped forward and shook off the hand of the boy beside him. “Most people make zai naturally but some can force it out of others and use it for themselves.”
Saytarnia stopped, the visible part of her face corpse-like in its stillness, and the rest of the children froze as if too afraid to even try to run away.
“Is that why you disappear for hours with your sister? Because you're cheating and taking her zai?” His gaze shifted to Satara behind the gate and she swallowed but refused to slam it shut against his attention. “It's why you keep her close all the time, isn't it? So she'll never be as good as you.”
“I don't know what you're talking about,” said Saytarnia, twisting to face him. The chill in her voice lifted the hair on Satara's skin with the efficacy of an ice cube. “And neither do you, obviously.”
“Hey –”
“Go home.” She straightened up and he seemed to realise for the first time that they were the same height. The aggression in his stance wavered. “And stop looking for answers you can't handle.”
“Come on,” said the boy next to the first and he pulled on his arm harder. The rest started to back away. “I told you it wasn't a good idea –”
“– Or maybe it's not your sister you're harvesting zai from,” said the leader of the group with a crazed grin. “She's not the only loser you hang around with –”
A sharp whip-like crack silenced him at once and the air around Saytarnia buzzed. The terrified expressions on the other children's faces reflected just how scary her sister's expression must have been even before blue sparks started dancing around her right hand.
“I told you –” she snarled, lifting her hand as if she were about the split the space between them. “– to go home.”
Satara opened the gate wider and knew she had to do something before someone got hurt –
“Holy crap, I did it!”
Jason's excitement tore through the memory and cut her concentration into messy halves. The heat building up in her arms dissipated instantly and she opened her eyes just in time to see a flickering ball of white fade away between his slightly curled palms. He looked up her through eyes enlarged by unguarded delight.
“That was my zai!”