I need you to go home. I need to stop you from distracting me all the time. But most of all – The fields and rows of tractor ruts and berry bushes they had crossed formed a distant map. – I need to know you won't die because of me.
“I need you to get back to your family in one piece no matter what I do.” His gaze continued to prod her. “You don't always get second chances to live with the people you belong with.”
“I know. But that doesn't mean you should miss the chance to spend time with the people you want to belong – to be with either.”
She couldn't argue with that.
“Why do you want to be here?” Her words were throwing daggers launched accurately at his feelings. “Because we're friends?”
“Is there something wrong with that?” If they had been looking at each other, he would probably have looked away. Probably. “Isn't that what friends do?”
“Follow each other until they die?” She smiled humourlessly.
“Are you planning to die on me?” The question didn't sound like a joke. If anything, his voice only rose when she didn't answer. “You think Saytarnia's gonna kill you?”
“You sound like Sin.” She glanced at him. Confirmed the conflict in his eyes. “He doesn't seem to think she will either.”
“I dunno what her plan is but if you think you're gonna be in danger, then there's more of a reason for me to stay. At least until you're stronger than her.”
“Because you can stop her from killing me?” she asked, wiping the cruel scepticism from her tone.
“Because three of us might be able to do what one of us can't.” He scanned their surroundings once again before looking directly at her.
He really sounds like Sin. Her eyes narrowed as if the sun had started to rise already. “And if all three of us can't stop her? Then what?”
“We die together, I guess.” The creases at the corners of his eyes grew faint even as he laughed.
“Seems like a waste of humanity, if you ask me,” she muttered.
“What? And it wouldn't be a waste if it's only you and Sin dying?” He tilted his head and his smile hardened. “It doesn't matter as long as it's only you two?”
“I wouldn't let him die for m –”
“You wouldn't be able to stop him,” he said with a half impressed and half sour expression. “Trust me. There's no way that guy's gonna let anything hurt you. Not while he's around.”
“That's another problem and reason for you to go.” She dipped her head at his incomprehension. “I can't have him protecting me instead of you.”
“Why shouldn't he? He didn't come all this way just to watch you die.” He shrugged. “If I were him, I wouldn't risk it either.”
“So you really believe him then?” This conversation was a different shade to their previous one. How many times it it going to change colour before we stop talking about it?
“Someone's obviously after us – or after him – and we're safer with him, with his powers, on our side.” He shook his head and fluffed his hair. “Imagine if we went back now and those people followed us home? Or if that demon thing turns up again? We don't really have a choice, do we? We have to go with him now.”
We always have a choice. As long as you don't mind a future that isn't good for you. She rubbed the side of her neck. But he's got a point. Splitting up now and dragging this mess back to the Langs and his family … We can't risk that no matter what.
“I suppose so.” She hissed under her breath.
“So, until we sort out this whole Saytarnia thing, you're stuck with me.” He stuck his tongue out at her. “Deal with it.”
“I always do,” she growled.
The reins had been yanked from her hands by the arrival of different threats. She didn't now how to control the careening carriage of her life now that it carried some important passengers.
If he stays he could get hurt. But if he goes more people might die. Is this one of those needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few situations? She massaged her forehead, still tender from the abuse of her knuckles that morning, and didn't notice Jason's extended fist straight away. His crooked smile tempted her hand away from her brow and she tapped her fist against his, unable to hold his gaze for as long as she usually did. Just because you plan to stick with me, it doesn't mean we're chained to each other. You're free to leave me and Sin. And I'm just as free as you to do the same.
“Who do you think those people were?” he asked as if the silence had changed from a cosy blanket to a hoodie made of thorns.
“They obviously weren't the police,” she said. “Or anyone on our side.”
“Why would anyone else want to kill us though?” He shook his head and his posture visible relaxed beneath her stare, his words lighter. “Real humans aren't Saytarnia's style but I can't think of anyone else who'd cause us problems all the way out here.”
“Maybe they weren't after us.” She didn't have to look towards the tent.
“You think they were after Sin?” Jason did, frowning. “Why?”
“He's been travelling and it doesn't sound like he took a plane to get here.”
“You think he ticked off someone while he was looking for you?” His doubt wasn't unreasonable. Sinastar didn't seem like the kind of person who went around deliberately causing trouble. “How?”
“I don't know but there's more than one way of getting on someone's bad side.” She plucked at the grass next to her crossed ankles. “Loads of ways, actually. Especially when we don't know anything about him except what he's told us.”
“If they're after him, he must have done something big for them to try shooting him off his bike. I don't know if they saw us too but, if they did, that means –”
“– they don't care who gets caught in the crossfire.” Which makes them even more dangerous. “Did he say anything to you?”
“Who? Sin?”
“Who else?”
He chuckled self consciously. “About what? Those guys?”
“About anything.” She pretended to focus on the grass she was pulling up.
Though he didn't say much, Jason suddenly poked the zai with a stripped branch and fed it several more exceptionally dry sticks.
“Not really. You know he doesn't talk much.” He grinned at the brightening Blue Flames. “He's not me.”
“True.” But you did talk to him about something. “Something's wrong with him.”
“What do you mean? Because he doesn't talk?” The incredulous parting of his lips gave way to another laugh as she looked at him. “Of course, you wouldn't say that. Ha ha.”
“Since this morning. No, since we left the flats.” She hesitated but wasn't entirely sure why. “He's … tired. And weaker. His zai isn't – it's different.”
“Different?” A strange yet recurrent stiffness settled across his expression.
“I think he used too much of it. Maybe more than he expected to because –” Because I decided to go all werewolf on him just like Saytarnia did. “– because all that stuff with the demon thing and those guys on the road.”
“But doesn't zai come back by itself? Eventually?” He scratched his eyebrow. “That's what he said yesterday, isn't it?”
“Maybe it needs more time than he's giving it.” Each statement painted a red cross on another of Sinastar's weak points.
“Wait, but that'd mean if he keeps using it like this he's gonna –” He glanced at the flames he had just kindled and waved the blade of his hand against his throat.
“If we're going to stick around, we need to do our part too.” Her own tone was unfamiliar to her. Proactive. Filled with shared purpose. “Sharing zai is weird but it's not hard. If we take turns, it should make things easier.”
“What if he doesn't take it? I already asked him but you heard what he said.”
“He'll have to if he wants us to go with him.” Satara looked over her shoulder. The outline of the tent had slowly grown more visible. “He might just be saving his strength but if something happens he's the one who'll do something about it first.”
“Guess that means he's the leader then.” He bristled at the scathing stroke of her eyes. “I thought we were a team.”
“Most teams have leaders though.”
“I know but it'd be better if –” He faltered and poked the fire aggressively.
“If what?”
“If we could help each other out. Equally.” He shrugged as if the tension was too much for his body. “Rather than leaning on one person.”
“Who's leaning?” she muttered, adding in a louder voice. “He volunteered to do all of this. None of us asked him to.”
“Still it feels kind of –” He squirmed. “– like we owe him something.”
“If someone gave you a thousand pounds you didn't ask them for, would you feel like you have to pay them back?” She ignored the memory of the card Sinastar gave her the other night.
“Uh. Yeah.” He stifled a laugh. “Is that weird?”
“I wouldn't really know, to be honest.”
Why feel bad when we didn't ask him for anything? Gratitude's one thing but he was on the other side of the world. He chose to come here and go up against Saytarnia. He chose to drag us – drag Jayce – into all this. The only thing we asked him to do was save us from that demon. Do we owe him for that?
“So if someone gave you a thousand pounds, you wouldn't try to pay them back?” Jason wrinkled his nose doubtfully.
You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.
“Only if I could. If I didn't ask for it, and I told them before I wouldn't be able to return the favour, and they insisted –” She shrugged. “– That's on them, not me.”
“Wow. Savage.” He tapped the grass between them instead of her shoulder.
“It's honest,” she shot back.
The first bird song crept into the near silence like a teenager sneaking into their own home after hours. She tried to work out which side the sun would rise and rubbed her sleeve across her face.
“But what if you really needed their help and they give it without you asking for it?” Jason pressed his lips together awkwardly after the question burst out but continued. “Wouldn't you be grateful for it? Or to them?”
“Of course I'd be grateful. But that doesn't mean I owe them anything more than my gratitude.” She smiled at the confusion and shock on his face. “If I needed help that much, I'd ask for it. And I'd try to help them out in other ways but some debts can't be paid off.”
“So you don't even try?”
“So you don't let it bother you, if you can help it.” She plucked the branch from his hand and poked Sinastar's zai. Can he feel it when we do that? It's part of him, isn't it? “It's not like being bothered will help you or the other person.”
“You really are built differently, huh?” Jason leaned on one hand and stifled a yawn.
“Seems like it.” She pressed a hand over her own mouth and wished she had brought her water bottle from the tent. “You should go to sleep.”
More birds started to sing and the darkness seemed grey instead of black. The chill in the air deepened before the morning light could warm it and the scent of soil was so strong it seemed like she had some in her nostrils.
“Nope. We said we'd do it in pairs.” Jason straightened up and shook his head. “If someone comes, it'll be bad if you're on your own.”
“Yeah but then you'll be sleeping while we walk and I don't think that's a good idea either,” she replied.
Sin hasn't been gone for that long either. We can't call him back out but then Jayce won't get any sleep at all.
“I'm fine. I slept last night and it's not the first time I've stayed up all night.” He mimed playing with his Playstation controller and sighed miserably. “I wish I bought my PSP.”
“I thought you broke that?”
“Oh yeah.” He grimaced, even more miserable, and got up. “Want to play something?”
“Like what?” She stayed on the ground but followed him with her eyes as he circled the fire. How are we supposed to keep watch properly and play at the same time?
“Let's spar.” He gestured at the space around them. “Sin said the symbols will light up if anyone gets too close.”
Then why were you looking around like that before? “I though we were out here to stop that from happening and get away before we're in danger?”
“I know.” Jason started to warm up, dropping into lunges and raising his arms above his head. “But if we fall asleep out here, it won't make any difference, will it?”
“If we miss something because we were messing around, it won't make a difference either,” she said, resisting the terrible urge to move. “Besides, if you get tired after, Sin'll have to carry you.”
He froze then settled back down next to her. “Wanna play I Spy?”
“Sure.” She smirked. “But first tell me why your face's gone all red.”
“'The heck it has!” He clapped his palms to his cheeks. “It's cold out here, that's why.”
“Uh huh.”
<><><><><>
Got the footage?
Still looking. Long road.
ETA delayed
I figured. Want a lift?
No. They need to trust me
Fair enough
Will call asap
Sinastar deleted the last few messages on his phone and scrolled through his memory instead. His eyes had begun to sting and the caffeine tablet he took had only worked for a short while but he could only hope it would all be worth it in the end. There was too much at risk for him to sleep now. Despite taking her zai, he couldn't rule out the possibility that Satara would transform again with the right trigger.
He closed his eyes and listened to her talk to Jason outside the tent. They seemed to be playing some kind of game following their short debate but her voice was too low and Jason's one sided responses didn't paint a clear picture of the situation. He rolled onto his back and interlaced his fingers on his chest. The almost overbearing heat of his younger cousin's touch wormed into way into his thoughts.
Her hands, wide and strong despite her height, reminded him of another pair of hands intertwined with his. They had both watched him without restraint and given him more than he deserved. Unlike Saytarnia, Satara clearly saw him as a threat. She seemed to despise the idea of being protected by him even as she acknowledged that he had the upper hand. In that regard, they were more similar than he originally believed.
But something didn't add up. It had something to do with Satara's transformation yet he couldn't work out what it was. The lack of sleep certainly didn't help and he relived the moment he entered the clearing the night before. He had barely reached her in time to delay the fate of his motorbike and the sight of her had almost turned his feet to stone. Her long hair, tousled by the waves of zai emanating from her body. Her altered height and shape. Those fangs that protruded from her elongated jaws and, worst of all, the feral glow to her stare.
He had hesitated.
The idea of becoming her target almost stopped him from doing what needed to be done.
But there was something else.
And he needed time to figure out what it was.
<><><><><>
“We should wake Sin,” said Satara in the middle of their half hearted sparring session.
She walked over to the tent before the protest could fully leave Jason's mouth. Dawn had painted their surroundings a deceptive light gold and emphasised the cold smell of dew. She crouched down and poked a finger through the half zipped opening.
“Sin! We should go,” she mumbled. He didn't answer and she tugged the zip around and down. “I'm coming in.”
“Tara!” exclaimed Jason but she only half heard him.
Sinastar sat with his back to the entrance, shirtless, but she could still see the puncture marks left by her teeth on his shoulder and imaged matching wounds on his front. Her claws had left ghastly trails across his right hip that disappeared into his trousers and he was currently healing them with zai, his fingers enveloped in a fierce blue blaze. He looked back at her, his skin slick from the strain, and she would have stood up at once if she hadn't already been weighed down by the crushing sensation deep in her chest.
“I'm almost done,” he said with a pained smile.
He shouldn't have to do that for himself. No, he shouldn't have been hurt in the first place. She rocked forward and pressed her fists into the earth. I should've been more careful.
“Are you –” The pointlessness of her question momentarily silenced her. “– Do you need any help?”
“I'm okay. Thank you.” He tilted his head gracefully but his zai was unsteady and his ribs heaved. Sweat seemed to cover him all over, visible even in the dull light.
“Okay.” Her offer of assistance died a lonely death in her throat as she zipped up the tent and rose.
“He all right?” asked Jason behind her. He sighed as she shook her head and hummed non-committally. “Anything we can do to help?”
“Try not to die, I guess.”
<><><><><>
Sinastar's face softened with a paternal-like fondness as he left the tent and watched them arm wrestle. As if he wanted to tell them off but enjoyed the sight too much to resent it. Satara gave him a moment to gather himself and Jason pushed her fist back onto the ground.
“Hey, did you just let me win?” His momentary triumph vanished as she got up of her stomach and patted grass off her clothes. “You did, didn't you?”
He grumbled under his breath as she turned to Sinastar. “Are we going now?”
“Once we've packed up the tent, we will.” He smiled as she nodded and look at Jason. “We 'll have to have breakfast once we get there. Is that okay? Are you tired?”
“I'm all right.” Jason glared at her as he rose from the ground and dusted off his clothes. “Though I'll probably crash as soon as I can once we're there.”
Sinastar smiled knowingly and, though he had obviously wiped the sweat from his face, he didn't seem refreshed by his nap at all. Satara started to pull the pegs out of the ground and Jason joined her, waving their guide away when he tried to help.
“We'll do it as fast as we can,” he reassured as they took the tent apart.
Satara stilled in the middle of disconnecting the flexible rods and didn't hear her cousin's response. The voices and images in her head were louder.
“Hurry!” said the tall figure on the other side of her semi-transparent blindfold. “We need to move now.”
She lifted her bound hands and rubbed them against her face. The last time she was awake, they gave her something to drink. It had tasted funny and she hadn't been able to move for a while afterwards. She needed to see who was doing this to her and where they were taking her.
“I still don't understand why they can't just pick us up in the jet,” said someone else.
She pushed the blindfold up. A short man picked up a long pole and started to take it apart without breaking it. The other man opposite him did the same. She pressed the rope around her wrists to her mouth and muffled a cry but couldn't stop the tears that burned in her eyes.
She didn't know him.
She didn't know any of them.
“Where's a plane supposed to land here?” demanded the first man. He slid the rods into a bag and picked up a length of sandy-coloured fabric from the ground. “Besides, there's no way they could fly one over here. Do you wanna wake up the whole island?”
They were close to the beach, not one she was familiar with, and a boat waited on the moonlit waves. She tried not to breathe.
“But we'd be far away by the time they could do anything about it, wouldn't we?” The second man helped the other fold the fabric of their tent. “To be honest, I don't even know why we're sneaking around like this. Don't we –”
“– I wouldn't be too sure about that if I were you.” It was too dark to make out his companion's expression but his voice seemed strained like a rope tightened around a boulder. “You don't know what they do here, do you?”
He noticed she was awake before the other man could answer him and –
“Hello? Tara?” Jason appeared at her side and she barely managed to avoid shoving him away. “Did you fall asleep on your feet?”
“What do you want?” she muttered, lowering her voice. That was – Her dad and one of her uncle's face crossed her mind. They were the ones who –?
“Don't be grumpy just because you're sleepy and I'm not.” Jason's grin faltered as he pointed at Sinastar. “Sin said he's got something for you.”
She finished packing the rods into the bag and wiped her hands on her hoodie. So we came from an island? What did we do there? What was dad talking about? She struggled to keep her expression smooth as she approached her cousin with Jason in tow. Sin must know.
Sinastar held out her headband, its brilliant red a sharp contrast to his black fingerless gloves. “You dropped this in the hall.”
Their combined gaze clutched at her shoulders like clawed hands as she took the silky material from him. It was cool to the touch, as if it had been soaked in water overnight, and there was no sign of any blood on it. I was wearing it, wasn't I? When Saytarnia –?
“I wasn't sure you'd want to see it. Straight after.” Sinastar glanced at Jason who nodded stiffly but managed a faint smile.
Of course he knows Jayce gave it to me.
“Thanks.” She moved to stuff it into her pocket but he reached out to stop her without touching her hand. “What?”
“There's something else. It belongs to you but, if you're don't mind, I'd like to give it to Jason instead.” He pulled out another headband from his pocket and offered it to her. It was white with a white tiger sewn onto the black fabric at its centre. “The junior members of our clan wear white until they're acknowledged by someone of a higher rank.”
“This was mine?” She ran a thumb over the animal with a slight snarl on its face and her windpipe vibrated in her chest. He nodded. “Why do you still have it?”
“Saytarnia found it when we started looking for you the first time.” He held her gaze. “And left it behind that night.”
She made a soft noise of assent without looking at Jason. “You can give it to him. If he wants it.”
“Hey, why're you giving it to me when it's hers?” He looked down at the material as Sinastar arranged it across both palms and held it out to him as though it were a sword.
“I've already got one.” She waved her headband at him and he took the one offered to him.
“But I'm not –” Sinastar placed a hand against his forehead, effectively silencing him, and tilted his face back up.
“You are now,” he murmured and the softness she saw earlier briefly flooded his expression. “If that's what you want to be.”
The redness of Jason's ears spilled across his cheeks and he glanced sideways at her first. She tried to smile as if the memory of being kidnapped hadn't given her goosebumps that refused to flatten.
“That's okay?” He turned back to Sinastar as the taller guy withdrew his hand. “Are – are we allowed to do that?”
“I'm the second eldest survivor of our clan.” Her cousin smiled, darkly amused this time. “Right now, I can't think of a reason why we wouldn't be.”
“Oh, okay. Cool.” Jason looked at her again and held up the headband as if it were a newly released Playstation game he had saved up for for months. “This is – this is so cool.”
Sinastar pulled out a black headband with the same insignia and dipped his head forward to tie it around his brow. Jason did the same and Satara's stomach flipped. The Chinese character for strength in the middle of her headband both isolated her and set her free. It's similar but not the same as theirs. No one would think we were from the same place. She tied the material around her head an tried not to pull out any of her unbrushed hair in the process. Sinastar and Jason both met her eyes when she lifted her head back up.
“You're so cool, Tara,” said Jason.
He grinned as she snorted and pushed his shoulder.
“Agreed,” said Sinastar but his gaze left hers faster than usual.
“Not cooler than me but still cool enough,” said Jason. He slapped the side of her upper arm and punched the air, his green eyes glittering in the sunlight. “This is so sick. We're sick!”
“You're sick,” said Satara but for some reason the sting of his fingers brought a smile to her face instead of a frown.
<><><><><>
After they brushed their teeth and hair, Sinastar led them in the direction of their destination. As they crossed multiple tractor furrows and passed through small groves, he seemed to know exactly which way to go despite the absence of any roads or motorways. At some point, the hum of moving vehicles returned and grew louder. They came upon a motorway and followed it until it split off into another smaller road which brought them to the next town.
“Did we make it?” asked Jason, his face drawn from his lack of sleep.
“Looks like it,” said Satara.
Sinastar confirmed her guess with a nod but continued walking.
“Wah – haaay!” Jason raised his fists to the sky but didn't seem able to keep them there. “We made it!”
She huffed to herself but could definitely relate to his open relief. Her ankles ached and the hours of sleep she had missed over the past two nights weighed her down. If I'm feeling like this, how's Sin holding up like that? Though he had avoided her question, his movements gave away the possibility that he might not have slept at all. Even now, his panther-like grace seemed to be destabilised by a faint limp, possibly the after effect of her claws tearing into his hip.
He healed himself though. Didn't it work? Is it because he's low on zai? She stopped as soon as he did behind the cover of several trees and Jason bumped into her from behind.
“Sorry,” he chuckled.
“We have to hide ourselves again until we get to the hotel,” said Sinastar.
“Hide ourselves?” Satara was pretty sure she knew what he meant.
“Hotel?” Jason shook his head as if he couldn't see through his exhaustion.
“We still have some time before we can meet the person I mentioned before.” Sinastar looked at them and his face tightened as if he expected more questions. “We'll wait in a hotel until then but we have to get there under the cover of my zai. Try not to bump into anyone but, if you do, just make sure you don't say anything.”
“It works on that many people at the same time?” Despite the ache in her feet, the subject of zai distracted her from the discomfort for a moment.
Sinastar nodded.
“On whoever looks at us at the time.” He held a hand out to her. “May I?”
“Hey wait, why Tara again –?” Jason fell silent as she poked his forehead.
“You're half asleep already,” she said. “If he takes it from you now, we'll have to carry you there instead.”
She waited until he pursed his mouth and looked away, then took hold of Sinastar's hand and shared her zai with him. An apology grew shadow-like across his features and darkened as the seconds passed. Once he had taken enough, he made a sign with his hands. His index and forefingers crossed each other to form a roof while his ring fingers tucked themselves out of sight. His thumbs and little fingers connected on either side to complete the gesture, forming a cage around the deep Blue Fire gathered between his palms.
He hasn't done that before. Is it so he can focus? Or maybe it makes zai work better? She watched him inhale soundlessly and looked away before he opened his eyes. There's got to be a reason for it. I should ask him later – Sinastar's heated palm pressed against her forehead without warning and Jason grunted as his brow met the same fate.
Blue Fire pulsed over them once, then twice, as though Sinastar were dressing them in double layers of clothing. He didn't do that before either. She rubbed her head as he withdrew his hands and pressed one to his own chest. Something else to ask later, I guess.
“Let's go,” he said, leading the way into the town.
He weaved through the people around him as if he knew exactly which direction they would go before they moved. No one looked at him. No one pointed or whispered behind his back. He was less than a ghost amongst them. Satara hesitated at the edge of the pavement and lingered behind the trees even though their cover was now useless to her.
“'The heck just happened? Why'd he smack us and run off like that?” Jason joined her, holding his forehead. He peered out at the other people, then at her face when she didn't answer. “What's up? Aren't you gonna go?”
“Yeah.” She bit the inside of her lower lip and stepped out from behind the screen of trees. “I'm going.”
After several seconds, Jason followed her.