Chapter 3

The Punchline

Breathe

Everything begins with learning how to breathe. We know how to do so when we are born.

We do not need to think about breathing. We simply do.

If one is to step onto the path of Immortality. If you are to defy Heaven.

You must learn more than to do.

Once you have learned how to breathe again.

You will have to learn how to breathe without thinking again.

And Again... And Again... And Again...

Till you learn to do both with out needing to think about one or the other.

You simply do.

Climbing a Mountain is a dangerous thing.

Reaching a Mountain to climb however... Is a boring thing.

A very boring thing.

So very boring.

A "short distance" in this land is considered only a few hundred Li according to standard measurements.

How far is a "Li"? I don't know. Never thought to ask…

You weren't considered "far" away until you were at the very least into the several tens of thousands of Li away. So for an adult within at least the First Step of the "Iron Body" Stage of Cultivation the distance would only be one or two days of constant but evenly paced travel.

If you were paying attention… I am not an adult. I am not in the First Step of the Iron Body Stage.

Which means that I cannot cross hundreds of Li in a few days.

A very inconvenient truth.

Despite my circumstances however I am still me.

I would take a little over a week with consideration for maintaining Great Grandfathers body and resting.

At first the severity of my situation kept me focused and aware… for all of two days.

Then I got bored.

Then I got really bored.

So very very very really really booooooored.

By Day 4, I had to do something or I would go insane, but nothing really worked for very long and trying to do so may have added a day or two of travel…

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

Great Grandfather would understand and I will be certain to ask forgiveness when I reach the top of the mountain.

I tried everything to alleviate my boredom so that I could focus on the task at hand.

I counted the stars. I counted which ones still shone. I counted the ones that were simple echos of long gone phenomena. I gave a few of them names too because the astrologers of this world were very lazy and hadn't catalogued them all yet!

I played tag with the Trees, which in hindsight was not the wisest choice. The West Wind and the East Wind helped them cheat!

Trees are like that no matter what the Terra Fae say! "Ancient Wisdoms" what a load of garbage!

Oh, I met the East Wind! It didn't want to talk too much. It was busy. So very very busy... but not so busy as to be unable to help a few pines and spruces cheat.

"Some odd things are always happening in the East always." The East Wind said. The Grass didn't disagree and neither did the Stars.

The Trees also agreed but they are cheating cheater's, so they don't count!

Though the West Wind says they are being dramatic.

But siblings are often more than happy to mock each other, so I don't take their word too seriously. I can always travel east myself and see right?

When I thought I had considered every possible thing to entertain myself I remembered the scroll from Mr. Chen! It had to have something I could do in it right?

Right!

I pulled it out of its satchel then I listened carefully to its instructions on how to open it so I don't accidentally tear it apart or anything.

Then I started to read! and read, and read, and read, and read… and read.

It took me five minutes before I was ready to throw the scroll into a nearby river, but I didn't! It was a gift after all, but I thought about it… I thought about it a lot.

Even now I am still thinking about it.

The scroll was full of super long paragraphs and complex words that I could neither make hide nor tail of. Great Grandfather had taught me how to read so that if we ever got separated I could hopefully find a sign that would point me to safety.

But the words that made up the scroll made the words Great Grandfather taught me look like scribbles on bark. They were full of letters and symbols I hadn't learned yet and words that I could only half way translate.

What little I could understand didn't make sense or simply wasn't worth understanding because it was all about tea recipes, feet measurements and why the sun was so beautiful and stuff.

Not exactly something I could use.

I told the scroll as much.

"Pictures I need more pictures! I'm a child after all! How am I supposed to read all this!"

The scroll politely ignores me more than likely being more than a child.

Still I want pictures!

"Please?"

If the scroll could sigh it probably would have, but the best it could do was an awkward silence. It told me to close it up carefully and wait a few minutes.

So I did.

I occupied myself by skipping rocks!

Then when it was ready I opened the scroll again… and I most definitely didn't scream in delight of anything… okay maybe I did a little bit.

Just a tiny bit.

The scroll had replaced the bottomless amount of text with pictures like I asked!

But not just any pictures!

It had pictures of everything!

There were pictures of all the mountains! There were pictures of Lao De village! Of various plants and flowers I had seen! Of all the stars I had seen and named!

Drawings of Dragons and Eagles flying through clouds and

There were pictures of me! I was so pretty!

Such Magnificence had to be shown off! All must gaze upon it and be appropriately amazed at my amazingness!

I quickly gathered the scroll despite its protests and began to show it to anyone I could think of.

I showed it to the West and East Winds! and the Trees (even if they were jerks)! and the River I was almost going to dump the scroll in (sorry)!

The fishes were more interested in trying to eats the painting than looking at it!

The stars complimented the way it captured my humility!

And Great Grandfather sa- said…

Great Grandfather is…

I sit next to his body and read the temperature around it. It will keep for a few weeks, but at the pace I am setting and the mountain climbing ahead, it may not be enough.

"If I learn from you will it help me reach the top of the mountain faster?"

"It would" mused the scroll as I opened it more.

In the middle of all the pictures and drawings was an image of me sitting cross legged like I was doing yoga. My hands both together in prayer.

Beneath me were a few words telling me in essence to breathe.

Okay I can do that.

I first find somewhere to sit.

A place where I feel… right.

An open field where I can see everything. A place where I can rest among the tall grass. Where I can look up at the stars. Where I can feel the wind blowing and listen to all the whispers of the living, the dying and the dead.

I fought on many fields of battle.

In the voids of space. In the ancient depths. In the squalid sewers of decrepit cities. In the tight embrace of deadly forests.

They all had special places in my heart.

But the Plains and Fields were Home.

Where I first felt love.

I sat in the middle of the field as the drawing instructed. I placed my hands together in front of me in prayer.

I breathed in.

I breathed out.

I breathed in.

~^~

The West Wind grants its blessing.

Warm air fills the child's lungs.

Gentle showers fall upon drought ridden lands granting farms life giving rain.

Warm winds provide relief to the weary bodies of the poor and broken in a thousand overpopulated cities.

~^~

I breathe out.

I breathe in.

~^~

The East Wind grants its blessing.

Dry Air fills the child's lungs.

Water fills the lungs of a sailor of the Grand Qin Dynasty 3rd Aerial Armada. It had experienced no difficulties since it set out.

Their luck had changed immediately.

It had set out with a near three hundred million lives in total.

Among them talented Cultivators and Patriarchs and Matriarchs of dozens of Sects.

None will ever be seen again.

~^~

I breathe out.