Chapter Twelve: Tell me more about Hot Girl Summer.

I had my bow in my hands and was nocking an arrow before I even thought about it. I’m okay stabbing people, but I wouldn’t say I like the idea of someone getting their soul eaten.

Jinx came tearing down the stairs, nearly knocking me over as he pushed past, electricity crackling in his hands and cursing like a sailor. The rest of the party was right behind him, weapons out.

I let loose an obsidian arrow, targeting the frost elf in the middle. She had stopped screaming and moving. It ricocheted off an invisible shield. I followed with another, but the shield was up before I could pull back my string.

I turned to ask Gem to help, but a shockwave of magical energy burst out from the elf at the center of the ritual circle. It hit like a bus, flinging us all into the cavern walls. Everything was eerily still for a moment, save for the ringing in my ears. I was sprawled against the cold stone; my face smashed unceremoniously into the wall.

Then came the sounds. First, a sickening series of cracks, like someone snapping bones or crushing twigs underfoot. That was bad enough. But then came something worse: a wet, sliding noise, like raw meat being dragged over rough stone.

Every survival instinct in my body screamed, DO. NOT. LOOK. And, honestly, I wanted to listen. Nothing that made noises like that ever turned out to be something you wanted to see. But this was Murder World. It wasn’t like I wasn’t gonna be feeling pain pretty soon, and I might as well see where it was coming from.

To my credit, I was the first to get to my feet, though they were shaking like a crackhead on day four of withdrawal. And what I saw? Well, there’s that thing where people say they wish they could unsee something. Car crashes? Sure. Dogs giving birth? Been there. Walking in on your parents doing it when you were too young to process that kind of trauma?

Yeah, that was pretty high on the spectrum of the worst things my eyes have beheld. But this? It was way the fuck up there, just south of seeing mom pegging dad.

The elf’s body had started bloating like she was filling with air. Her arms and legs stretched and bent backward in ways that would’ve made a contortionist scream. Extra joints popped into place with wet, meaty crunches, and those limbs split in half. Eight legs. She was growing eight gods damn legs.

And her torso just popped open like a busted sack of steaming ravioli, spilling guts and gore all over the cavern floor. Out of the mess, a hardened shell began to emerge, shiny and dark, and an abdomen the size of a keg inflated behind her like some monstrous balloon. Her head twisted a full 180 degrees, the neck popping and cracking with a sound that made me want to throw up. And then, because things weren’t as horrific as they could have been, mandibles punched through her cheeks, shredding what was left of her face as they grew to a full eighteen inches and razor-sharp.

She…or rather, it…was now a spider. A motherfucking spider growing to the size of a Chevy Suburban fifteen feet in front of me. It was a gleaming iridescent dark blue and silver. Its legs, now lined with wicked silver spikes, spread out wide enough to touch the cavern walls. Six glossy, black eyes scanned the room, unblinking. Its breathing was heavy and labored, each wheeze echoing off the stone.

And then... silence. The kind of silence that makes your skin crawl because you know it’s just waiting for the right moment to explode.

Jinx: That there is an Ice Arachne. Hit its face and abdomen. Stay the fuck away from the mandibles, the legs, and the-

A massive ball of webbing, six feet across, shot from the ass end of the spider, flying towards Gem, who was still getting to her feet in the doorway. She dove into the chamber just in time to avoid the massive ball. It splattered against the opening, filling it with finger-thick webs, sealing the only exit we could see.

Jinx: Spinnerets.

The cultists jumped and started running toward the chamber's back. There must have been another exit. A whole fat lotta good it did us with something that looked like it crawled off a heavy metal album cover blocking the way.

I downed an AP potion and activated Stealth before scooting off to the creature's right side, keeping a healthy distance while trying to flank it. Gem and Eric split apart, moving to the left and right. Kev also eased around the left, his hammer out. Jinx gave it a smile and a salute.

“Evening, old girl.” His voice was steady, almost kind. “Jus’ remember, we ain’t the ones that dragged you ‘ere.”

He fired off a stream of flame, not at the spider, but at the glob of webbing that covered the door. I hoped the pass opened up soon because this was starting to look like my version of the Kobayashi Maru scenario.

She lurched forward at him, and he dashed off to the right side towards Eric. The thing was a slow mover, unlike one of her little cousins. The problem was that it took up all the space, and its weapons seemed lethal at a single hit. And, of course: Giant Fucking Spider!

Gem started firing arrows, one after the other, into its soft abdomen. One out of three managed to stick for negligible damage. It mostly trained its eyes on Jinx, who had directed his fire at it. It lifted its legs to spear him, causing him to break the spell as he dodged. The fire spell seemed painful, if not causing much damage, as the spider bellowed out a silent scream, heard by the air whistling through its mandibles.

“Keep ‘er distracted!” Jinx yelled, shooting flames at its abdomen before dashing around again to avoid the spider’s legs.

I snuck unseen to its side. Fuck, I thought, gritting my teeth. I had a short sword that was worthless, arrows that were worthless, and a dagger that was worthless. The thorax looked like it was made of steel. There were only a few soft targets on the monster.

I counted down from ten to one in my head. At the end of the count, I launched myself onto the top of the creature’s thorax by vaulting off the rock wall. All my newfound strength and dexterity were pushed to the limit. My butt confirmed what I guessed. It was hard as steel and ice cold. It also didn’t seem to know I was on top of it. Either the others distracted her, or there weren’t any nerves on the armored back.

I inched forward until I was on the head. Or what I thought was ahead. Do spiders even have heads? I didn’t think so, but I wasn’t an expert.

I wrapped my legs around what I thought was a head-like protrusion and slammed Sick Stick into the rightmost eye of the giant spider.

SNEAK ATTACK ON ICE ARACHNE.

14 POINTS DAMAGE WITH SICK STICK DAGGER

X3 SNEAK ATTACK DAMAGE

42VP DAMAGE

TARGET LEVEL EXCEEDS SICK STICK DEBUFF THRESHOLD

The spider lurched forward, hissing and wheezing a pained exhale as its mandibles scrabbled at the air, unable to reach me. I clung to its carapace for dear life, my dagger rising and falling in a frantic rhythm. Some strikes hit, with satisfying squelches. Others missed entirely, glancing off the hardened shell or sinking into empty space. It felt like riding a mechanical bull if it was ice cold, twice as wide, and oozing venom.

Around me, the rest of the party was throwing everything they had at the beast, but we might as well have been toddlers swinging sticks at a dragon. Jinx’s fire roared across its abdomen, scorching and blistering the surface, but it barely did more than give the spider a nasty sunburn. Kev’s hammer crashed down in thunderous arcs, only to bounce off its armored legs like a kid whacking a piñata made of tire rubber. Eric and Gem were the only ones making any headway, leaving small, oozing holes where her arrows and his rapier found purchase. But the thing was huge, and all we were really doing was pissing it off.

I had managed to damage two more of the thing’s eyes, but without Sneak Attack, I could not deal much damage with the dagger.

The spider let out a high-pitched hiss and then spun towards Gem with a massive lunge. A glob of webbing shot from its abdomen, hitting her square in the shoulder. It spun her around midair like some grotesque pinwheel and slammed her into the chamber wall. My heart dropped as I watched her hit. Hard. She stopped moving, but she didn’t look hurt, just dazed. She was pinned, struggling futilely against the sticky threads as the spider’s attention zeroed in on her.

“Shit!” I yelled, but there wasn’t time to do much more than keep stabbing. If I did manage to blind it, maybe that would help? Best intentions, at least.

Eric dived between Gem and the spider, his rapier slashing back and forth while his buckler deflected blow after blow. The spider pressed its massive body against him, venom-coated mandibles striking out like scythes. The thing wasn’t fighting. It was trying to eat him. Eric gritted his teeth, every muscle straining as the buckler in his left hand wedged against one of the mandibles. His right hand kept his rapier between his shoulder and the other one. His blade was starting to bend under the pressure, but it was enough to keep those jaws from closing for the moment.

The venom dripping from the spider’s mandibles splashed across his shirt. It soaked through the fabric. My stomach churned. Did it need to be injected to work? Absorbed through the skin? Hells if I knew. The rules weren't exactly clear in a messed-up fantasy world with a demon spider.

I kept stabbing, doing my best to help, but the helplessness was overwhelming. Eric’s face was twisted in pain, his body visibly shaking under the strain of holding back something that was ten times his size. Meanwhile, Gem still struggled behind him, stuck fast to the wall.

“Oy! Kev!” Jinx yelled. He extinguished his flame and pulled out Razor Mandolin. It was an unspoken agreement among the party to keep the thing in inventory, given its value, but the Ice Arachne was too big and powerful. Jinx tossed it under the spider’s body, and it clattered to the ground at Kev’s feet.

Kev dropped the hammer and grabbed the axe. I could see his body shift as his strength and dexterity increased by ten points each. I knew that feeling well. He swung the blade up, and it cut deep into the spider’s abdomen.

It turned toward the source of its agony, hissing and whistling in pain. Eric was thrown to the side, but he was completely forgotten for the moment. Kev matched its movement and swung the axe hard again, targeting the spinneret.

Purple and yellow puss poured out of the beast as Kev’s swing cleaved the entire body part off. It hardened into a stinking half web, half blood glue that stuck to the stone floor, anchoring the spider to the ground. It bounced and struggled to move, but it only got more stuck and immobilized. It tried anchoring its legs to the ground and pushing with no success.

Eric turned with a dagger to Gem, helping her cut away the silk. Jinx reignited his fire spell and renewed his attack, and Kev kept slicing with the axe. I managed to take out four of its eyes, but the giant spider seemed more preoccupied with the pain in its rear and trying to get off the floor.

“Does this thing have a brain!” I yelled over my shoulder.

“It does!” Jinx yelled. “Yer sittin’ on it!”

“Kev!” I held my hands up. He gave the abdomen a final swing, thrusting the axe deep into it with more purple ooze erupting from the slice. He yanked it out and tossed it up to me.

I caught the axe and immediately felt the boosts, more than doubling my strength. I hadn’t used it since my evolution, and the effects made my body feel even more electric than the first time I held it in my hands. I bounded to my feet. As the beast kicked underneath me, I raised the axe over my head. I gave myself a moment to center my balance and then slammed it down with all my strength, targeting the patch between its three pairs of eyes. The axe buried itself two-thirds of the way into the spider.

YOU HELPED DEFEAT ICE ARACHNE.

+1700xp

CORPSE:

ICE ARACHNE.

LOOTABLE ITEMS:

razor mandolin

ICE ARACHNE venom

DO YOU WANT TO LOOT?

CONGRATULATIONS!

YOU HAVE ADVANCED TO LEVEL 3.

+1 STRENGTH

+1 DEXTERITY

+1 INTELLIGENCE

YOU MAY NOW ASSIGN 3 POINTS TO YOUR ATTRIBUTES AT ANY TIME.

YOU HAVE ADVANCED TO LEVEL 3 ROGUE.

+1 DEXTERITY

+1 CHARISMA

STEALTH NOW LEVEL 2:

+1 DEXTERITY

4x less detectable in dark, undercover, or outside line of sight. 4x less audible detection. Activation time: 1 second. Range: Self. Cost: 6AP/Second.

SNEAK ATTACK NOW LEVEL 3

+1 DEXTERITY

3.5X DAMAGE ON ALL SNEAK ATTACKS.

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

NEW SKILL ADDED:

Acrobatics (Dexterity/Strength) Level 1

The notifications ran through my vision as the Ice Arachne slowly tipped over with its legs curled like any other dead spider. I looted the thing, adding three venom vials and the magic axe to my storage.

“Whoa,” I said. Slipping onto the floor with a rush of blood to my head. “Sixteen.”

Gem let out a weak laugh. “I just leveled up.”

“Me too,” said Kev breathlessly

“So did I,” I said. “That mother fucker was tough.”

“More than tough,” Jinx said, walking around it to us. “We were in way over our ‘eads.” He reached down and helped me to my feet. “If it wasn’t for that axe…”

“We would have thought of something,” I said. “Seriously though, fucking giant spiders?”

“They ain’t usually that big.”

“Such a fucking waste,” I muttered.

"Wacha mean?" Jinx asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“They didn’t just kill her. They destroyed her. Completely. All to buy themselves a few extra seconds to escape.” There was something inside me, something I’d never felt before. This wasn’t just killing. It was worse. Way worse. “Dead’s one thing, but there’s no sweet, peachy afterlife waiting for her. You should’ve heard her screams before you came down.”

“We all heard her,” Kev said, stepping forward. He wrapped his massive arms around me in a tight hug. “And I saw what you tried to do,” he whispered. “You wanted to spare her from that.”

He let me go and stood up straight. I stepped up on his belt and used it to hoist myself up just enough to kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks, big guy,” I whispered to him.

It’s easy to get caught up in the rush of things. Beating a giant spider feels pretty epic in the moment. But the weight of everything doesn’t hit you until you’re safe. I slipped back down the orc and moved over to Gem and Eric to see if I could help.

Gem grunted as Eric managed to pull her off the wall just as I came up.

She wrapped her arms around him. “Thanks.” She said.

“Any time.” He replied as she let go. He turned and looked toward the back of the chamber. “Four of them scampered off.”

“Not our department,” Jinx said. “We need ta jus’ burn the place; We weren’ contracted to kill everyone.”

“Or get me,” Eric said darkly. “I know the duke didn’t exactly like me, but I thought he would have at least tried to get me out.”

“I don’t know. Maybe he figured we would spring you while we did our thing.” Gem suggested.

“I didn’t leave with them. The frost elves, I mean. They charmed me and half a dozen others. Before we knew it, we were chained up and in the back of a wagon. I wasn’t turned into a power crystal because I told them about the duke, hoping they would ask for ransom.”

“Well, they did,” Gem said. “And he refused.”

“Can’t go back there,” Eric said, his face turned down. “Mind if I ask where you’re headed?”

“Ironstone,” Kev said.

“We need a chat,” Jinx said. “Wait ‘ere.” He turned around and stomped out of the cavern, back toward the library. We followed him through the smoldering stairway and up.

I noticed everyone looked tired. This simple trip touring the countryside had undoubtedly gone off the rails for them several times. My plans of training to become a flight attendant went sideways, too, so I can relate.

“I think he’s a straight-up guy,” I said when we reached the library. We all settled on the hardwood chairs around the table at the center.

“I think so, too,” Kev said. “I’m not opposed to him traveling with us.”

“I’m with Kev,” Gem said. “But don’t listen to Regan. She’s got a crush on the new boy.” She winked at me.

Jinx gave her one of his patented scowls.

“Wot I wanted to talk 'bout,” he said, regaining control of the conversation, “We landed in a big pile o' gold, wiv this job, an' wot we found at the slaver camp. I fink we might wanna quit while we're a’ead.”

“But if we are traveling with Eric on board, we’ll have a more capable party.”

“Right, you are. But we planned this excursion wiv the three of us in mind. We already brought Regan on. No offense, love.”

“None taken, I guess?”

“We add another member and we’ll be deludin' our share of XP and GP. But that’s beside things. The poin’ I’m making is that it is not gonna be much worth to continin’ the trip.”

“We did just level up,” Gem said.

“What’s our GP count right now?” Kev asked.

“Assumin' we get the ten thousand for this job an' the money for the axe,” Jinx said. “twenty-nine ‘undred sixty after guild fees and taxes.”

Gem and Kev both gasped. I had no idea how far money went in this world and had only paid my way through the provincial towns, which didn’t seem to cost much. I knew gold was valuable and only used it for the high-end merchandise I bought in Wood Cut.

“Is that a lot?” I asked.

“You can live on that for about four years in Ironstone.” Kev said, “My inheritance was less than that.”

“That’s just the GP,” Gem said. “We still have the rings and necklace to unlock.”

“And the chest is worth around twelve hundred,” I said.

“The three of us already decided to give you the chest as a bonus,” Kev said. “You did all the heavy lifting at the camp, so it’s on us.”

“This ‘ere is the kind of payoff that mercs like us never see,” Jinx said. “It means everyone can afford upgrades an' trainin'. It’s an 'ell of a start for you, an' a boost for the rest of us.”

“So, I could just live in Ironstone for four years and not do anything?”

“Yeah,” Gem said. “It’s not luxury living. It’ll be a basic room and meals.”

Four years’ worth of gold, I thought. I had never had more than three weeks of cash on hand in my entire life, and now I was looking at not having to worry about money for the first time. It wasn’t like I was used to living luxuriously anyway.

“It’s a one-time thing, love,” Jinx said. “You ain’t gonna see money like that for a long time. You need to train an’ gear up. Way fuckin' up.”

“I can do that,” I said. I took a deep breath. Four years. It just hung in my head. I couldn’t even fathom the idea.

“Eric owes us for the rescue,” Gem said. “But I say let him travel to Ironstone with us, but he’s on his own after that.”

“Sounds fair,” I said. “I’m happy with what we’ve got. I say we head back.”

“Second that,” Gem said.

“I’m a third,” Kev nodded.

“We got an agreement then,” Jinx stood up. “We ‘ead back. Cut Eric loose and stick together until we split the ring loot.”

“What did you say about taxes and fees?” I asked. “It’s not like Ticketmaster, is it?”

“The Mercenary Guild takes twenty percent of all GP,” Kev said. “They’ll also grab the Empire’s cut and pass it on.”

“Never worried about taxes before.”

“Taxes to the Empire are fifteen percent of what’s left?” Kev asked the group.

“Yeah that’s right,” Gem said. “Fifteen.”

“You’re a contractor wif us,” Jinx said, “So you pay the fee, too.”

“But we looted the forty-three hundred from the slave camp. How will they even know we have it?” I asked.

“’Cuz if we ‘ave it and lie about it, then we get booted from The Guild if they find out. None of us will risk that.”

“And the other loot?”

“We pay taxes on it when we sell it,” Gem said. “The buyer collects it.”

“The Empire and Guild only deal with the coin, then?”

“Yeah.”

“So, we call it quits,” I said. “How long until we get to Ironstone from here?”

“We ‘it the junction at Mountain Side,” Jinx said. “Then, take the 'ighway west, an' we'll be back in a day an' a 'alf at the most."

“I almost hate to ask,” I raised a hand. Why did I raise my fucking hand?

“What?”

“How dangerous is the road?”

“Should be pretty safe.” Kev shrugged.

“It was supposed to be safe already. Look what happened to us.”

“We are in more settled territory, less mountains and hills, so fewer places for outlaws to hide out.”

“Okay, cool. I’ll let Eric know he doesn’t have to walk then.”

I hopped up and skipped down the stairs, feeling lighter than I had in days. Eric was cute. Annoyingly cute, actually. The more I saw of him, the more I liked the idea of having him around. It was starting to feel... appealing.

I paused at the entry to the cavern. I had to move three points into attributes. I dove into my Character Sheet. I added a point to Strength, a point to Spirit, and a point to Luck. I felt like I needed a little spirituality. I definitely felt the need for more luck.

You have passed level 10 Strength.

Powerful Strike Level 1 Unlocked.

Powerful Strike Level 1

Powerful Strike will apply 3x damage to any successful melee attack when activated.

Cool.

Activation time: instant. Range: Self. Cost: 79 AP Plus Cooldown: 47 seconds.

When I returned to the chamber, I saw him squatting near the dead spider. His rapier hung lazily in his right hand as he stared at the floor in front of him, clearly lost in thought.

“You can put your sword away.” That’s what she said. I snorted at my stupid internal joke.

“Huh?” His head jerked up, startled. “Oh. Right. Sorry.” He stood, and with a flourish, the rapier and buckler vanished into his storage.

“You okay there?”

“I don’t know,” he said, shaking his head as he stepped toward me. His face twisted into a grimace. “I’ve been playing the spoiled rich kid for so long; I don’t know how to be anything else. Not that I’m rich anymore.”

“Well, we’ve decided to head back to Ironstone,” I said. “There’s not much point staying out here. You’re welcome to come with us if you want.”

“And then what?” His voice was heavy with gloom.

“Then... whatever.” I shrugged. “You could join the Mercenary Guild, maybe? Start making some money? You’re good with that sword. Or you could go back to your family.”

“I don’t want to do that,” he admitted. “They sent me to the duke, hoping he’d take me on as part of the household. You know, like my cousins. I blew that.”

“At least you got some training out of it,” I said, trying to be encouraging.

“Yeah, but I wanted to join the guard,” he said. “That was the plan. Turns out that wasn’t really me, though.”

“So, what are you?” I asked, crossing my arms and looking him over.

He smirked. “Swinging on chandeliers, bedding beautiful women, and drinking the good stuff.”

I plopped onto the floor.

“Crisscross applesauce,” I said, gesturing for him to join me. He sat down across from me, mirroring my pose.

I pulled out the bottle I had gotten from Duke Longhorn from my storage and popped the cap. I took a swig and handed it to Eric. He accepted the bottle and took a gulp. His eyes immediately went wide, and he started coughing.

“This is from the duke’s personal stash. It’s magically protected. Where did you get this?” he asked, his voice strangled as he handed the bottle back.

“The duke,” I said, capping the bottle and tucking it away. “He knew I liked the good stuff, so he gave it to me.”

“Lucky you,” Eric muttered, his voice still raspy from the drink.

“Well, that’s one out of three,” I said with a grin. “I can’t help with a chandelier, but I think I’ve covered the beautiful woman part.”

Before he could say a word, I leaned up and kissed him. His arms came around me, pulling me close. I melted into him as my hands roamed over his back. He was filthy and smelled like roadkill, but I didn’t care. For a moment, I wanted him to throw me on the floor and have his way with me.

But then reality set in. Even I knew there was a time and place for these things, and this wasn’t it.

“Um,” I said, gently pushing him back. My face was still flushed. “Okay.”

“Okay, what?” he asked, looking a little dazed.

“We need to get moving,” I said, sounding firm.

“I thought we were moving,” he said with a cheeky grin. I almost lost my breath. I do love me a cocky boy.

“Out of here,” I clarified. I stood up and offered him my hand. He took it, standing with me.

Before he could step away, I slid against him and hugged him quickly.

“Not the hug!” he groaned, tilting his head back and pretending to call on the heavens. “Anything but the hug!”

I laughed, rising on my toes to kiss him again. “Shut the Hells up.” He bent down and returned it enthusiastically.

“Let’s get somewhere that won’t be on fire in the next five minutes,” I said, pulling back just enough to look him in the eye. “We still have a keep to burn down.”

We might have kissed a little more. And then a little bit more after that. But then we were done. And then we were done again. And then we were done for real this time.

When Eric and I returned to the library chamber, Jinx was hard at work. He was crouched next to the table, a pouch of powder in his hand, meticulously drawing a circle on the floor. His lips were moving, either chanting or muttering quietly to himself.

“Walk ‘round,” he said, not bothering to look up.

“What’s that?” I asked, stepping closer.

“A little ritual magic, love,” he replied, his attention on the powder pouring steadily from his fist. “Gotta set up two or three of these, so the whole place lights up when we need it to. 'Ead on up, yeah? You talking to me ain’t exactly makin’ this easier.”

Taking the hint, Eric and I started climbing out of the dungeon, leaving Jinx to his muttering and precise powder deployment. I held Eric’s hand as we went, leading the way. He seemed deflated despite everything we’d just shared. I hoped he wasn’t some secret Debbie Downer who’d somehow latched himself to me. That would be exhausting.

I ignored the looted bodies of the cultists scattered along the way as we emerged into the open air. The door outside stood wide open, and Kev and Gem were waiting just beyond it. They were both staring up at the top of the carriage with matching looks of bewilderment.

Heather was perched up there, a huge grin plastered across her face. Next to her, Leoleth sat with an equally smug expression.

“What the fuck’s all this?” I asked, stepping forward. My eyes flicked to the ground, where the body of another cultist lay crumpled beside the carriage.

“She’s renounced her evil ways and wants to walk the path of virtue.” Heather declared from her spot on the roof.

“Actually,” Leoleth cut in, glancing down at me, “there’s something I wanted to ask you about before the whole purity thing.”

I crossed my arms and squinted at her. “What?”

“Tell me more about Hot Girl Summer.”

The End, Part One.