Chapter Four: Helloooo Nurse!

The whisperer shouted in my head, excited as more words in Ariel appeared in front of my face. She read them off to me as they scrolled past:

CONGRATULATIONS!

You have chosen race and class! You can now gain experience.

You have successfully engaged a creature in combat.

Combat experience unlocked.

You have killed a creature! Prairie Orc. Experience plus 95!

You helped kill a creature! Prairie Orc. Experience plus 70!

You have passed level 10 Charisma.

Negotiation Level 1 Unlocked.

Negotiation Level 1

When sitting down with an adversary or trading partner, you have a better chance to work out an arrangement in your favor. Work deals, negotiate prices, and spin information to increase the level of this skill.

You have passed level 10 Intelligence.

Arcana Level 1 Unlocked

Arcana Level 1

The “metadata” of an object. There’s a lot of weird shit out there, like Antique Roadshow on acid. You will find that every object you touch belongs to some guy who lived somewhere that did something. Finding out the history and information of these objects is easier when using the Appraisal Spell.

You have reached level 10 Luck.

Misfire Level 1 Unlocked

Misfire Level 1

Just because you’re stupid doesn’t mean you have to die. Any trap you spring now has a chance to misfire.

The text faded as I opened my eyes. I was lying on a blanket in the barn. I had no clue how long I'd been there, but it was pitch dark outside. Through the gaps in the planks, I could see the flicker of a fire, its light dancing faintly in the night.

I was in the new body. It felt... like it had during the creation process, normal, but not. It was familiar but absolutely 100% freaky as Hell. The pants and tunic I wore fit fine, but the fabric was scratchy, especially against my skin. I had no undies, so my nipples were keeping score.

The barn was dark, yet with my enhanced vision, it might as well have been high noon. The downside? The colors looked washed out like someone had cranked the saturation down to fifty percent. I instinctively rubbed my eyes before remembering. Oh yeah, that’s just how my new ability works. Thanks, brain.

I looked around for my old clothes, but they were gone. Completely. Well, except for my Converse. Those were still there. I slipped them on only to discover they were now clown shoes. My stupid tiny feet had gone from a size six to maybe a four and a half.

Next to the blanket was a canvas sack about the size of a tall kitchen garbage bag. Whatever was inside? I had no clue, but it was going to be part of this weird new reality.

Enhanced Starter Supplies

It's the same old Arial font, just as when I started, with sparkles. The Whisperer’s voice was excited as she read it to me in my head.

Place in Storage.

I lifted the bag with a grunt. How do I get this into my storage? Just as I was thinking about adding the bag to my inventory, it just added itself, and my hand jerked up sharply with the weight removed.

“Okay, how do I- OKAY?”

I was just about to ask how to examine the contents when they appeared before my field of vision. The inventory system opened up like a spreadsheet. On the left were categories of objects. Apparel, Armor, Weapons, Potions, Food, and a dozen others. Including the sack. My GP, currently three hundred and eleven, was in the lower right-hand corner.

The kit supplied me with basic survival gear: ropes, torches, lamps, fishing gear, blankets, flint, etc. There were also a couple of moderately quality vitality, adrenaline, and essence potions. I sifted through the inventory of objects. I just had to think of the item's name with the intent of holding it, and it appeared in my hand.

I was given three weapons: a dagger, a short sword, and a short bow with one hundred arrows. A notice appeared in my vision as I examined each in my inventory. Level 1. It looked like the starter kit included a base of combat skills for a roguish girl like myself. These were non-magical weapons with unremarkable damage capability, but they would give me opportunities to learn to fight. I still had Sick Stick, which was pretty fucking fantastic since it had the debuff and dexterity and strength bonuses.

The kit also included a set of leather armor capable of “modest” protection. I didn’t see myself running around in heavy plate metal if I was trying to be sneaky; the armor provided no performance bonuses. I also found a small variety of dresses, pants, shoes, stockings, and underwear of various styles. There was even a “fine” dress resembling a red velvet medieval cosplay outfit.

I also found rogue tools of the trade. There were thirty feet of extra light silk rope: a grappling hook, a glass cutter, a prybar, and climbing gloves. There were hoods, robes, soft-soled shoes, and a lighter set of black cloth studded armor, ideal for sneaking around.

I also had a set of lock picks. I pulled them out and examined them. There were about a dozen and a half different hooked and grooved tools. I examined them and, to my astonishment, knew how they worked. Each had a clear and concise purpose, and I understood their functions. The Whisperer said I would be getting a set of basic Rogue skills. Since I wouldn’t be kicking down any doors with my pitiful strength any time soon…

Back on the inventory screen, I could see a list of equipped items. I unequipped my shoes, and they vanished from my feet with a Vwip! My bare feet sunk into the straw. I selected a pair of soft-soled shoes and equipped them. They appeared on my feet with another Vwip! They buckled precisely. I applied underwear and a bra, which sent a shiver through my body.

I took a moment to read over my Character Sheet. It was a ridiculous thing to call it, but it does make sense; at least I understood how magic worked within me because of it. It flowed into my vision, just like something out of D&D with boxes, some corny art, the works. It was intuitive; I could select an individual element, and The Whisperer would explain it to me; I could expand and collapse sections, just like a spreadsheet with a snarky sense of humor. This was how I could view myself in a world of magic:

Character Sheet: Regan Summer

Half Human, Half Urban Elf Level 1

Height: 4 feet, 10 inches Weight: 90 pounds

Hair: Pink Complexion: Imperial Urban Fair

Origin: Earth

Classes:

Rogue: Level 1

Rogue Jobs: 0

Base Attributes:

Strength: 5

Dexterity: 8

Spirit: 6

Charisma: 11

Intelligence: 13

Endurance: 7

Luck: 10

Adrenaline Points: 134/134

Recovery: 5 pts/sec

Essence Points: 143/143

Recovery: 5 pts/sec

Vitality Points: 686/686

Recovery: 5 pts/sec outside of combat.

Skills:

Racial Skills:

Night Vision:

Half Elves can see in low light levels at the cost of color sensitivity. Range of vision: 30 yards in near total darkness. Full daytime vision in a regular night environment at a cost of 50% color perception.

Hide in Shadows:

Elves are a naturally sneaky bunch. Half Elves, even more so. This racial skill will allow the half-elf to hide in shadows, making them 2x less detectable, so long as they are not moving. This skill is automatic, does not cost AP, and can be stacked with other stealth skills.

Internal Navigation:

After studying a standard map, half-elves can fully visualize their place on the map and objects and destinations within the scope of the map.

Gift of Tongues:

Urban elves have lived closely with most other races for thousands of years, and as such, they have gained the ability to communicate verbally with most of them. This gift is also passed to half-urban elves. Half-urban elves can seamlessly speak with any enlightened species with a population center of 5,000 or more.

Rogue Class Skills:

Back Stab Level 1:

2x damage on unseen attack. Activation: Automatic. Activation time: Instant, Range: Self. Cost 10AP/attack.

Stealth Level 1:

3x less detectable in dark, undercover, or outside line of sight. 3x less audible detection. Activation time: 1 second. Range: Self. Cost: 6AP/Second.

Enhanced Starter Kit Skills (Rogue):

Sleight of Hand (Dexterity/Charisma) Level 1

The art of misdirection, the tool of the thief and conman, Sleight of Hand is the skill of manipulating objects visually to create an illusion of magic. Surely, a Rogue could find this handy.

Lock Picking (Dexterity/Intelligence) Level 1

Locks were put on this world for one reason and one reason only. To keep everyone but you out. The art of tumblers, levers, barrels, and plugs. It all comes together in your mind as you work to dismantle the mechanisms between you and your goals.

Pick Pocketing (Dexterity/Charisma) Level 1

A quick hand, a quicker mind, a smile and wink, and a tap on the shoulder. All tools of the Pick Pocket. The craft of removing and even adding objects from and to an unsuspecting person. I’m sure you will only use the skill for good.

Dagger Level 1

Short Sword Level 1

Short Bow Level 1

Enhanced Starter Kit Spells (Rogue):

Appraisal Level 1

Allows the person to evaluate any object's monetary value and magical properties with a moderate degree of success.

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

Activation time: 1 second. Range: Self. Cost: 12 EP

Nudge Level 1:

Allows a person to apply a slight bit of pressure, equivalent to a gentle nudge, to any creature or object in any direction.

Activation time: Instant. Range: 20 feet. Cost: 20 EP

It folded up with a flick of my mind, neatly tucked away in my brain somewhere. My vision now had a HUD. There was a map in the corner, some health bars, and virtual buttons to press to access everything. I instinctively knew how to access everything, but right now, my brain was starting to melt slightly—all that magic and new bodies and whatnot.

I saw the airplane seat. Sitting in the middle of the barn, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I cast Nudge on the sleeping hen, and she flopped off, wings fluttering as she complained. With a grunt, I lifted the heavy thing and added it to my storage. I doubted I’d have a use for it, but I could haul it around with me; there didn’t seem to be much sense in just tossing anything away as long as I had space.

I looked at the door and sighed. There was a world out there, a big, mean, stinky world with orcs, ogres, elves, and people that looked and dressed like larpers.

I didn’t know if I was ready or not. I felt like the new kid at school, about to walk into the junior high building full of the meanest girls in the universe. I sat on my butt: crisscross applesauce. I smiled; I always said that in my head when I sat cross-legged with a little inner giggle. I just wanted to give myself a moment.

I took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes. I imagined myself in my room at home, sitting on my bed just like this. I could feel the AC blowing from the vent over my head, chilling the back of my neck. I could hear Dad upstairs, working away in the kitchen as he made one of the five menu items he had planned for dinner this week. Mom was there, too, quietly reading over a file she brought back from the office.

I’m not, like, a meditative person or anything. This wasn’t some exercise; I just wanted a tiny slice of time to be the old Regan.

“Well, new girl,” I whispered out loud in my silly little Elf voice. “You can stay here with the bleating goat, but eventually, that world’s gonna make its way in.”

I got up, no grunting or moaning. These springy little legs did the job pretty well. I took a deep breath and pushed open the squeaky barn door.

The outside world was just as grey and colorless as the dark barn, but the firelight filled the party of mercenaries with rich, vibrant colors. I stepped out delicately. I wasn’t trying to be sneaky; it felt different to me, the world. It was like getting into a swimming pool on the deep end when you were pretty sure you knew how to swim but weren’t quite sure.

The crew was sitting around the fire. On the side of it was a small rack of skewered meat and vegetables sizzling quietly. Kev sat next to it and was giving the meat a poke with his knife to check it. He was shirtless, and the fire danced across the hills and valleys of his muscles. He may have been an orc with a bit of a gorilla face, but damn, that body was something, and I found my eyes lingering on his abs and my mind lingering on the bits below. Gem sat on the opposite side, with Jinx in the middle. His robe was gone, and he wore a tunic and pants similar to mine. Gem wore a light dress resembling basic linin with a little blanket around her shoulders. Her tail poked out the back, swaying casually behind the makeshift log slash bench she sat on.

Two horses were hitched next to the barn, and a large wooden wagon stood across the open area beside one of the huts. With my vision, I could see the tree line from here; I could see the buildings, pretty much the entire area, just like I did when the sun was up. The world was grey and washed out, except for the group around the campfire; the light filled the circle of people with vivid Wizard of Oz color in a sea of sepia.

I let out a slight cough. To announce myself. I didn’t know how to approach the group. I just stood there, my arms gripping themselves. All sets of eyes turned my way; the reactions were hardly subtle:

“Helloooo Nurse!” Gem called cheerfully. “It’s been a couple of hours. I wasn’t sure if you were coming out or not.”

“Holy shit!” Jinx chuckled. "You ain't the bleedin' same, that's for sure!”

Kev just smiled for a second before realizing he should say something. “I like it.”

“Room for one more?” I asked quietly.

“And you sound different,” Kev said.

“Yeah, smaller body, smaller voice.”

“It works,” Gem said.

“The voice?”

“The whole thing.” Gem was looking me up and down like a predator sizing up prey. I instinctively leaned back. Her eyes were large and expressive, and I found myself pulled into their gaze a little too easily.

“So, Yeah,” I said. I couldn’t hide my self-consciousness, so I just leaned into it. But fuck, the sheepishness of my voice only made me sound sillier. “I’m kind of a Half Urban Elf now. All the good stuff? None the bad? At least that’s what I was told.” I gave a little pose with jazz hands and an uneasy smile.

Gem was the closest to me. She stood, offering me her hand. “Have a seat, sweety.”

I stepped over and took it. “Hello Nurse?” We sat next to each other, my shoulder touching her right arm.

“Jinx says it a lot when he sees a sexy girl.”

“For the sake of the god’s Gem,” Kev said sternly. “She’s brand new. Ease up.”

“I’m not new.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m twenty-six.”

“For a half-elf, that’s new,” Jinx said. “They ain't usually done growin' up till they're thirty or somethin'.”

“I’m a fucking teenager?”

“Not exactly. Most 'alf elves come of age at seventeen, same as everyone else, but see, they live a few 'undred years or more, so the body takes a bit o' time to catch up.”

“I can’t fucking believe this.” I sulked on my log slash bench. “I hated being a teenager.”

“You’re not really a teenager,” Gem said.

It was a chilly night, like an early autumn night back home. The fire felt perfect. I looked up at the night sky. It was pitch black, but with enhanced eyes, the stars blazed with brilliance I had never seen before. The Milky Way ran from horizon to horizon, so bright I could see waves and waves of distant stars inside it. I recognized the Big and Little Dippers and some of the other constellations from back home. I was kicking myself for not learning more about them.

“The sky’s the same.”

“Yeah,” Jinx said. “The moon’s proper different these ‘ere. It's, like, massive. Some say there's folk living up there, but who really knows, eh?” He sounded a bit melancholy. “It ain't risin' till two nights from now, but it's gonna be a right sight for yer eyes. But Yeah, the land's almost the same as it was, but the weather's all changed up.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. Why would this be just like Earth?”

“They taught me that there are different versions of Nya in school,” Kev said. “Some like yours, with no magic, some with just oceans and no land, all kinds.”

“Who taught you that?” Jinx asked. He had pulled a small ceramic flask out of his robe.

“The priests at my school,” Kev said, leaning around and reaching for the flask.

“Yeah? They got a clue what they're on about?” He took a drag and handed the flask over.

“I think so.” Kev took the flask and brought it up to his lips. “Church of Xaldes.”

“Yeah,” Jinx said. “Yeah, they probably do, mate. Got that air of know-how about 'em.” He took it back and handed it over to me.

“What’s Xaldes?” I asked. I sniffed at the contents. It smelled smokey, like Scotch, but with a sweetness like honey. I took a sip. It tasted like kettle corn with a touch of salt and smoke. It felt warm and slid gently down my throat.

Kev answered. “She’s the Goddess of the sky, the universe, the mechanics of heavens.”

“She’s right about different worlds, I guess.” I handed the flask to Gem. “Where’s that Heather chick?” It was just the four of us around the fire. I just realized.

“She turned in,” Kev said. “She’s not part of the group. We hired the Church of Amania to lend us a healer.”

“And we got her,” Gem said bitterly. She took a swig and handed it back to me. “We aren’t her kind of people.”

“Not a fan of purity types,” I said. “They never really like me all that much back home either.”

“Now I’m interested,” Gem looked at me with an impish grin.

“Those people give us a hard time where I come from.”

“Oi, I thought you was from America, love?” Jinx said. He slipped the flask back into his pocket.

“Yeah, it’s not like it was when you left.”

“So, what kind of people are you?” Gem asked coyly.

“I, uh…” There was a bit of a roadblock there. I don’t have a problem talking about sexuality; it was just easier to type it out on Discord than to speak about it out loud. Gem obviously was into girls; that helped a bit. But I was almost scared to say anything to her. I mean, she was really into girls. “Sort of the bi kind.” It came out quietly, almost like a question. “I mean, I like boys and girls, but I’m not all that sexual?” Again, it was not easy. “Like touchy and stuff.”

There was a pause as the group looked at me. Coming out was always a dice roll. It was odd, in any case. The two guys looked at me like I had just told them a joke with no punchline.

“That’s a first.” Jinx chuckled, looking at me with a goofy grin. I missed the joke, whatever it was.

Gem tilted her head and looked at me appraisingly. “Maybe you just haven’t met the right-“

“Seriously, Gem!” Kev interrupted. “Let the girl be.” He gave her a stern look. “Besides, we’ve been roughing it for over a week now.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” I asked.

“Well,” Kev pulled the first of the skewers off the rack. “We’ve been on the road for a week. We all smell and taste like dead rats.”

“Never stopped me,” Gem said.

“Or me,” Jinx chimed in.

Kev smiled. “Me neither.” They all chuckled as he passed a skewer around to everyone.

I took one and had a bite. The meat tasted gamey but was also tender. I was starving after losing all my food earlier. The vegetables were onion and peppers—classic kabobs, just like home. A universal constant no matter what world I guessed, I wasn’t sure what the mystery meat was, but it did the trick, and I devoured mine faster than the others and felt full almost immediately. Yeah! Little tummy!

The group kept up the banter. I was pretty sure their silly jokes and innuendos were for my benefit. They knew I was scared, and they were trying to keep me occupied. As time passed, we finished our meal and had another round of drinks, the others talking about exploits and ribbing each other. It was that way for a long time, just a circle of friends chatting and having fun.

“I’ll take watch,” Kev said, finally standing and signaling the end of the conversation. As was the conversation, the fire was dying down anyway, and someone had to call it.

“Spell ya halfway.” Jinx got to his feet with a grunt. “Night, love.” He said to me. “We 'ad a chat while you were in the barn. You can stick with us as long as ya fancy while we wrap up our little countryside tour. Then we'll 'talk about what comes next, all right?”

“All right,” I said with a shrug of my shoulders. I didn’t have a choice except to join the group. It would take one orc attack to turn me into pink and red paste.

“Yay, team.” I gave a little fist bump.

“Come on,” Gem said when she stood. She offered her hand to me. “Girls in the barn.”

“Gem?” Kev said sternly.

“Kev?” Gem said in a mocking tone.

“I’m not gonna jump your bones,” Gem told me, her hand held up like she swore an oath. “Promise.”

I took her hand and accepted the help off the log, and the two of us went into the barn. Gem pulled the doors shut.

“Here,” she handed me a clothing bundle out of storage. My clothes from before were folded neatly.

“They’re clean.” I looked at them, amazed that they weren’t ruined.

“I have a laundry bag.” She handed them to me. They felt enormous in my hands. “I thought you might like them without nasty orc blood, even if they don’t fit that well anymore.”

“Thanks.” I took the jeans and underwear into storage and held up the t-shirt.

Gem giggled. “Maybe wear it as a nightgown.” She turned away from me, giving me a little privacy.

I turned around and slipped my bra and tunic into inventory. I pulled my old T-shirt over my head and put it on. It was enormous now, hanging loose on my upper body, almost to my knees. When I turned back, Gem was wearing a rather conservative short-sleeved nightgown.

“The boys have the watch.” She said quietly. “No need to sleep in armor.” She grinned and spun around.

I admired her figure. Her arms were muscular, and her breasts pushed up against the thin fabric of her gown. Her nipples pressed out sharply. With enhanced vision, I could see the outline of her body. She was lean, with narrow hips and broad shoulders. Her strong masculine traits now had a nice little feminine twist that I liked quite a bit. Her fur-covered legs were just so alien to me. I didn’t know exactly what to think.

“Come on,” Gem pulled a blanket out of her inventory. “Lay down, take those leather pants off.” She knelt on the blanket that Jinx had given her earlier. “You can’t sleep in fucking leather.”

“I don’t think I can sleep at all,” I said, pulling my pants off, suddenly feeling very naked with my weird, renaissance panties. I lay down, and Gem flopped the blanket over both of us.

She slipped in next to me onto her back, our shoulders touching. I lay there, tension leaving my body as I closed my eyes.

“Not exactly how I expected my day to go.”

“How did you expect it to go?”

“Boring. I was just going to land, check into my hotel, and then grab dinner.”

“This would be different.” She bumped against me playfully. “You did get dinner. One out of three pretty much worked out.”

I laughed. But then, almost instantly, tension released in me. Adrenaline, fear, anxiety, anger, sorrow, everything that was being held back by sheer will exploded inside of me. I started crying—ugly crying. As I sobbed, Gem placed an arm over me.

“You’ll be okay.”

“I don’t know what to do.” I breathlessly gasped between sobs. “I don’t belong here.”

“Of course you do.” She sat up on her elbow and looked down at me. “You wouldn’t be here if you shouldn’t be.”

“The Whisperer said that this is all random.” I was slowing down, the crying easing up. I felt like a fucking toddler just then.

“Well, maybe.” She smiled down at me. “But there’s more to this world than just chance. My goddess certainly doesn’t leave everything to luck.”

The eruption was over almost as quickly as it began. Her touch was soothing. And yes, I was full of anxiety, but the contact helped. I didn’t feel as isolated as when I exited the barn. Talking helped.

“Who’s your goddess?” I asked, inwardly rolling my eyes. I was never sure about god stuff since I’ve never been much of a subscriber.

“Dryphine. She is the Goddess of Nature.” She smiled and made a small gesture with her free hand. “You may have been randomly plucked from your world, but I know you are here because she willed it.”

“Be sure to ask her next time you talk to her,” I said flatly. “Because right now, I feel like an open scab.”

“Well, you’re a half-urban elf, so she may not be your god, but she did deliver you into my life, so I will consider you being here a blessing.” She brushed at one of the last tears that ran down my cheek, the rest having already dried up. And followed it up with a little peck. “This is the part where you sleep.” She said. “Close your eyes.”

I did as I was told, settling back onto the ground. Gem mirrored me, lying on her back next to me. She shifted closer, leaning her weight just slightly against me. For a long while, we stayed like that, and neither of us said a word. I tried to let my body relax, but it wasn’t easy. Exhaustion eventually started to win. My mind, however? Still racing.

With my eyes shut, I became hyper-aware of everything: the uneven floor of the barn beneath me, the cool night air, and Gem’s steady presence at my side. She fell asleep quickly, her breathing a soft rhythm, like a metronome for the universe. It was oddly soothing. I let its sound guide my breaths, syncing them with its steady pattern. Slowly, the tension in my chest began to ease.

“You know,” I whispered, my voice barely audible, like I was speaking to the stars themselves, which winked at me through the holes of the crappy barn roof over me. Clarity had washed over me in that fleeting, half-dream state that only happens when you’re teetering on the edge of unconsciousness. “I fucking hate camping.”

A faint smile tugged at my lips as the words slipped into the night, unnoticed by anyone except me. Then, finally, mercifully, I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Interlude:

The Gods notice when the universe shifts, even if it is merely the arrival of one new soul among the multitude.

-The Book of Rakbus, God of Destiny