Chapter Twenty-Six:
I Don’t Want to Want You
Nicodemus
“Good morning Valyce Academy. We surely hope you had just a wonderful weekend! Today’s announcements are as follows…” Elizabeth chimed our daily announcements as I attempted to balance my pencil on my nose, which made Sebastian and Griffin burst into giggles, “And finally, Fourteenth year Prom is here! Please purchase your tickets in the lunchroom! Have a wonderful day, and remember, there is no limitation to the fascinating future you all are creating every day!” Her overwhelming charisma was palpable through the speakers, and made me smile.
“Gods she’s annoying…” Dad grumbled as the intercom switched off, which made his homeroom fill with giggles.
“They’re having Prom this early? It’s only October?” I asked the boys.
“Valyce holds their Prom early in the year for various reasons, the main one being that Fourteenth year is where we do our final exams to get a spot in the Elemental training camps, so fitting time for fun activities is near impossible. I’ve been waiting for this day for years!” Sebastian declared triumphantly, hugging himself with an excited grin.
“Soren’s sure going to be excited,” Griffin snorted.
Sebastian turned to him with a wicked glare, “And why is that?!” He sniffed.
“Good luck getting him into a suit.”
“He’s the one who picked out what we’re wearing, thank you very much, so mind your business!” Sebastian mocked.
Griffin gasped dramatically, “Did you drug my brother?!”
“He did not, actually…” Soren chirped as he sat down beside his boyfriend and kissed his cheek lovingly, “Sebastian made me promise when we started dating that I would take him to Prom. With that comes the responsibility of making it an eventful evening, so in an attempt to be romantic, I picked out our suits. It’s been my plan for years, and finally, I can execute it!”
“Yep, he fell down the stairs this morning,” I scoffed, which made Griffin laugh hysterically as the two boys fumed at me.
“And what about you, Mr. Single, who are you bringing?” Soren snapped.
“Like I’m going!” I snorted.
“You’re going.” Dad called from his desk, his nose deep in a book, which made me slam my fist down and the boys howl with laughter.
“You going to find me a date?” I barked back.
“I'm sure you’ll think of someone...” He sang, snickering through his teeth. I flushed pink instantly at his comment, and when he saw this, he cackled harder to himself.
“You could ask Odysseus?” Sebastian whispered to me.
“I, I don’t know… He doesn’t even come to school anymore…?” I mumbled worriedly.
“Just because he’s helping Blaine doesn’t mean he’s not a student?”
“He only left because of what happened…” Soren sadly whispered, “We tried to keep him, but he couldn’t make it through the day without, well, you…? He said everything just, reminded him of what happened, and he couldn’t pretend when things were so bad.”
I blushed a bright red and folded my hands with a small smile, “Think he’ll say yes?”
“I dunno, but it’s worth a shot?” Sebastian tried as I sighed and smacked my chin on the desk miserably. He ruffled my hair to encourage me, but didn’t say anything more.
Class came and went, and after getting my grade on my latest essay I trudged down the hall to Blaine’s classroom. Kids waved and cheerfully greeted me, some offering congratulations for my won competition as I passed, which made me smirk as I opened the door. “So you divide by two, carry the numbers, and there you have it kiddo. It’s pretty simple if you break it down properly. Slow down once in a while, tiger.” Blaine said, smiling.
“Thanks, Dad. I really had a hard time with this…”
“Of course, buddy... Oh, look who it is!” Blaine said obnoxiously to make Odysseus turn in his desk chair.
“Nick?” He asked as his eyes illuminated with joy.
“Uh, h-hey?! What are you doing here?” I yelped in shock.
“I was just asking for some help on homework, but I'm glad you’re here. Can we talk?” He grabbed my arm and pulled me into the hallway before I had a chance to answer, and slammed the door shut on his nosy father with a warm smile, “It’s great to see you back in school. I’m planning on heading back soon myself, once Dad and I finish up one more important thing with our training courses. I wanted to let you know, so you don’t think I ditched on you.” He looked me up and down with a slight frown, “How have you been doing, since, ya know, everything?”
“I'm good, I suppose. Hanging in as best I can,” I tried to say lightly so he wouldn’t worry. He knew I was lying, but still tried to keep the conversation cheerful.
“I’ve been worried sick about you... Are you free tonight?” He asked lovingly.
“Should be, why?” I said with a blush.
“Can you meet me at the main arena around seven?” He nodded to the window to gesture to where he meant, “It would be nice to catch up a little, without…” He paused to slam his hand into the door, which made Blaine shriek on the other side and us laugh hysterically, “Without nosy asshole Dad’s interrupting!” He called loudly with an eyeroll.
“WHO SAID I WAS LISTENING…!? Oh, man…” Blaine whimpered when he realized he had outed himself, and slunk back to his desk with an audible whine of defeat.
I continued to giggle and shake my head, “Sure, that sounds really nice. I’ll be there.”
“Awesome. I’ll see ya later,” he smirked with a wave before conjuring a portal and stepping through, heaving his backpack over his arm begrudgingly, as if he didn’t want to close the portal behind him. I watched him leave with slight disappointment, my face still flushed pink as he dissipated from sight.
╪
Later that night, I told my parents I would be at the arena and would text them if my plans changed. I didn’t give them much option to say no, but was still considerate of their very real worries, and assured them I would keep my head on a swivel. They agreed to letting me free so long as I kept in contact, and wished me a good time as I shut the front door. The air was slightly chilly as I jogged down the streets of Valyce, my heart thumping excitedly at the thought of seeing Odysseus again. (Wonder what this meeting is about?) Claude snickered as I ran.
“No one asked for your input, morons, so buzz off.” I chuckled as I paused at the top of the hill. Odysseus was sitting on the bleachers, wearing a loose-fitting sweatshirt and skinny jeans. His long hair was messy around his face, and he had ditched the glasses for the time being, allowing his blinding eyes to illuminate fully. I waved to him warmly, which made him smile and wave back as I skipped down the hillside and sat beside him.
“Hey, thanks for coming!” He sang blissfully.
“Of course; what’s up?” I asked out of breath.
“I wanted to see you, silly,” he laughed, “You promised me I could?”
“Oh, yeah, I did huh?”
He turned a ferocious red and wrung his hands inside his sweatshirt pocket, “By the way, sorry I kind of, kissed you in front of your parents. I couldn’t help myself…”
“They know I'm gay, now, so its ok.” I chirped.
“You told them?” He asked in equal shock and relief.
“Yeah, the other day. They were as supportive as ever; they always are…” I sighed.
“I kind of shocked the shit out of my Dad,” he said to make us laugh.
“I figured.” Before I could speak again, he inched closer and slid his hand under my hair. He flashed all gold eyes, and concentrated deeply. A moment later, my hair slowly changed from white to its original brown, which made me gasp in awe. “Whoa...!” I sang, enamored by whatever magic trick he was using to cure me.
Odysseus spun strands of my now brown hair around his fingertips, “There we go; as cool as the white hair is, I enjoy your brown hair better.”
“How do you do stuff like that?” I cooed lovingly.
“I just match my energy to yours. You can try it sometime with me if you’d like. Ok, real reason we’re here…” He moved to his pocket, where he slid out two thinly cut pieces of paper. He held them tightly for a moment before squeezing his eyes shut and shoving one at me.
I tilted my head curiously, but stole the item and peered over the writing. “Is this, a ticket to Prom?” I scoffed. He nodded fast, blazing bright red as I blinked in shock. “Oh, wow...?”
“Do you, not want to go, with me…?” He asked worriedly.
I sputtered like a broken fax machine, “No, I mean, I was planning on having to ask you!”
“I kind of, wanted to take initiative. I figured, you know...?” He awkwardly whispered.
“Just because everything happened doesn’t mean I don’t like you anymore, Odysseus.” I teased with a carefree smile to convince him.
He looked to me with wide eyes, “You still like me?”
“Well, duh?”
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
“Oh... um, ok. That’s really good…” He said nervously, scratching the back of his neck.
“You really are so incredibly awkward,” I joked, leaning in to plant a kiss to his cheek. He turned a ferocious pink as I pressed my nose to his neck, tilting up to whisper in his ear, “I don’t think I could stop liking you if I tried.”
“Stop it...!” He groaned adorably.
“Or what?” I taunted.
He looked into my eyes, his own shimmering, before he smoothed a lock of my hair back and slowly leaned towards me. “I’ll have to kiss you?”
“How threatening.”
“You asked for it…” He closed the space between us, delicately twining our lips. He leaned forward and slid an arm underneath mine, using his other hand to hold my face to his. I felt incredibly safe with him holding me like this, and had no plans to move anytime soon. We kissed for what seemed like a blissful forever before parting softly, smiling to one another. He nuzzled our noses, then sighed and pressed his forehead to mine. “You’re suffering,” he breathed abruptly, “Your eyes aren’t as bright, and you don’t smile as easily. Those Gods ripped you to shreds. They destroyed the wonderful glow you had just enough for it to be near impossible to regain. It’s agonizing to think that after all you’ve done for me, your suffering this much. I can’t even protect you from that horrible place…”
“This has nothing to do with you, Odysseus…?”
“I felt it, every time they hurt you…” His voice fell an octave, and tears spilled through his long lashes, “They say that you can feel when your Particeps Potestatis is in extreme pain, and the entire time you were gone, my heart hurt at random times. Sometimes, it was so bad that I almost passed out. I ended up getting really sick, and was in the hospital for days because of it.”
“What…?” I croaked in horror. I had immediate flashbacks to some of the truly agonizing things I had experienced with Pandora, and the thought that he, too, had felt them made a shiver run down my spine.
“My Dad thought something was really wrong with me, but I knew it was because of you, because Soren was going through the same thing. I don’t know what hurt more, the physical pain, or the emotional. Knowing you were being hurt… It made me want to die, Nicodemus…” His words left me speechless. He blinked back his tears to clear his eyes, and nudged closer to me, “It utterly almost killed me, knowing I couldn’t protect you…”
I sighed deeply, thought for a moment, then let my fingers trail up to his forearm so I could push his sleeve back. I pressed them into his skin, which made him curiously peek down at what I was doing. “What matters now, is that you can feel me doing this. You can clearly see that I’m safe, that I’m here with you. Blaming yourself for something completely out of your hands is ridiculous, and I don’t want you to torture yourself any longer. Pandora is not going to stop at just Sebastian and I; we all are in danger, and that means we need to keep each other safe, especially now that we know she’s after us all.”
“I’m not worried about me…”
“I am,” I tilted his chin up so he had to look me in the eye as I spoke, “It’s been driving me insane knowing you’re so far away from me. Every second I go without knowing your safe is eating me alive. If she ever hurt you, Odysseus, I… I just…?”
He abruptly kissed me, causing my words to trail off. I melted into the gesture with a slack of my shoulders, though my heart was thumping wildly because it wanted to continue spilling it’s guts to him. “I don’t know what it is about you, Nicodemus, but you make me very, very happy. I feel, normal, around you. Why is that?” He breathed against my lips.
“Maybe because we’re meant to be together?” I responded seriously.
He looked up slowly, his eyes shimmering like pools of melted amber. I grew lost in them for a moment, and he must have done the same with me, because we spent a few seconds simply staring at one another before he found his voice. “What do you propose we do with this predicament?” He finally beckoned in a blissful tone.
“I propose...” I sighed, sliding to move over him. He fell back onto the bleacher, blushing wildly as I laid across him and slid his fingers through mine, “That you and I make a promise to keep seeing each other as much as possible.”
“That’s called dating, you know that right?” He snapped teasingly, “But since you won’t admit your gay to everyone, then how could you possibly want to go out with me, a BOY…?”
I cut him a devilish side smile, and walked my fingers up his jaw, “Let’s make a deal. You get your ass back to campus, and I…” I flicked his nose once, “Will scream from the top of Hayden Hall’s roof that I’m gay?”
“You’re such a brat!” He laughed as I winked. He rolled his lips loudly and shook his head, slipping his arms around my waist tightly, “It’s a deal. I’ll work on getting my Dad to loosen his leash, and you work on getting a megaphone. I want the entire Realm to hear you.” His playful tone was incredibly sexy, as was the way he coyly grinned when he said this.
“Game on…” I hissed, biting his lip before we tangled for a much longer kiss.
╪
Odysseus didn’t answer a single text message all weekend, nor did he show up to our first class Monday morning, which left me quite crabby as I stomped through the halls. Soren and Sebastian were busy acting as the schools mascots per usual, walking hand in hand through the lines of students and greeting every one by name. They caught sight of me grumbling to myself at my locker as I was switching my books out, and called my name as they zigzagged through the crowds to pop up with smiles. “Hey bestie, we’ve been looking everywhere for you!? You look absolutely cheerful and well rested!”
“I can do without the sarcasm, Sebby.” I barked, slamming my book down with a scowl.
“What crawled up your butt?” Soren laughed, tilting his head closer to me.
I stuffed some pencils in my bag angrily, “Some people just love to lead others on like…!?” My locker door slammed shut violently, which made my body freeze.
The sound of someone popping their gum erupted next, followed by a sly, yet deep and sexy chuckle. “I’m sorry, did I interrupt what you were saying, Mr. Crawford?” Odysseus darkly snickered, his eyebrow arched to match his sinister smile.
“Hey, dude, when did you get back!? It’s so good to see you!?” Soren tried lovingly, but mid-sentence he and Sebastian yelped when Odysseus smacked his hand to the wall, blocking my only escape.
I jerked back into the locker like a cinder block and kept my eyes straight ahead, because if I looked up to him while he was doing this, I would lose my absolute mind. “You owe me your side of the bet, Crawford…” Odysseus cackled.
“I’m late for c-class…?” I whimpered pathetically, shakily forcing myself to meet his gaze. He knew he had me hooked, and leaned in closer to lay it on thick. I cut him a side eye, swallowing so hard that my throat spasmed from it. “G-Glad to see you back, b-but…?”
“But, what? Did you think I wouldn’t follow through with my side of the bargain?” He brought his lips to my ear, and at this point, the entire school was staring at us with their jaws sitting to the floor, “I’m here, aren’t I, just as you made me promise to be.”
“Yes, you, I, I mean, you, I suppose…?”
“You’re making excuses, and all the while, we could have gotten this over with by now…” His lips were brushing my ear as he spoke, and made sweat slip down my back as I tried to control every urge to not let him pin me down so we could tongue wrestle. Soren and Sebastian were sputtering in disbelief like two broken televisions, but Odysseus didn’t seem to give a single fuck about anyone that was gawking at us. “You have two options: run up to the roof and fulfill your part of the deal, or I make some adjustments that best fit my wishes.”
“W-Which would be?” I squeaked like a mouse.
He let out a maniacal laugh, setting a hand on his waist while tilting down sexily towards me, “I get to walk you to every class, and hold your hand while I do it. You sit next to me all day, every second that we’re together, and I’m allowed to kiss you whenever I want to. Or, ya know, you could do the other thing, but I’d be totally fine with my way too.”
“You really are an incredible piece of fucking work…!” I snarled, beaming bright red.
He smirked slyly, then shot his arm down so he could lace it through mine and lock our hands together, “I take it you’ve surrendered. Good choice; it’ll be a lot more fun this way.”
“But, I, I didn’t…?!”
“See you at lunch, guys! I’ll grab our usual table!” Odysseus called over his shoulder.
“Holy, fucking, shit…” Sebastian scoffed as Odysseus ripped me in a circle and paraded down the halls, smiling gleefully to our stunned classmates. I bobbed beside him in a drunken state, barely able to move my legs, and if he hadn’t been forcing me forward I would be a puddle in front of my locker.
╪
Odysseus was real happy with himself as he charged through the school, keeping me locked so close to his side that I had no chance of escape. He nodded to anyone who was blatantly staring at us, and made sure that every student in our vicinity saw our public display of affection. Instead of going to the cafeteria like he had said earlier, he took us up the steps towards the third floor, and before I could protest, began to sprint down the hall to a door at the far end. When we got to the doors he pulled us inside and slammed them shut, but when we entered the room, he let go of me with such abruptness that there was almost a hint of disgust. I jumped at the way he tossed me aside, and frowned as he stormed over to one of the old tables to slam his bag down on. “You’re free to go, prisoner!” He barked.
“Um, what…?” I scoffed, jumping again when he violently ripped his binder out.
His eyes were ablaze with anger, and he continued taking it out on the folder crammed into his backpack, “Stop playing games with me Nicodemus. You couldn’t look more miserable than you already do. Didn’t mean to embarrass you; it was obviously a mistake to think you would ever be ok with this.” He slid his bag back on and prepared himself to leave.
“Excuse me, what the fuck are you talking about?!” I scoffed, trying to round the table to touch his arm, but he kept jerking away. Abruptly, a burst of adrenaline shot through me, and I forcefully grabbed the collar of his shirt to rip him backwards towards the main hall. He tried to protest but I completely tuned him out, and dragged him down towards the outdoor dining area with a blank look of determination.
Our usual table was filled with our usual group, who were currently gossiping about what had taken place in the hallway earlier. Every table in the courtyard was filled, and even the school’s professors were outside to enjoy the lovely weather, including all of the Gods. They were aimlessly talking, but when I slammed the lunchroom door behind me, it caught most of the schoolyard’s attention. When Sebastian saw Odysseus and I storming over, he let out a string of giggles and smacked Griffin so everyone would sit up and act like I hadn’t caught them whispering about us. “Good afternoon, boys. Nice of you to join us?” He taunted.
“Or do you have a date you’re heading off to?” Praxis mocked evilly.
I wrenched Odysseus to a stop, my heart thumping ballistically, “Actually, we do have a date, thanks for asking. I was just stopping by to say hi!” Griffin spit his milk obnoxiously across the table, hacking wildly as Praxis jumped and hid her face in her hand in embarrassment.
I tossed Odysseus into the table and stood straight, puffing my chest out confidently, “I have something to get off my chest while I’m here, so listen up!” I barked to my friends.
I knew the entire school was listening in, but if I wasn’t going to do this for me, I at least had to do it for Odysseus, who stared up at me in disbelief. I clenched my polo and steadied my trembling teeth, “I want you all to know… that I’m gay, and I don’t think it’s necessary to hide it from everyone anymore. I am accepting all possible repercussions that come with putting this information out into the world, but it’s not fair for me to be terrified to be myself. As my friends, I hope you can all be supportive of my sexuality, and that it doesn’t change your opinion about me. If it does, I’m sorry, but this is how it is!” I barked confidently.
For a minute, the group was speechless as they absorbed this information.
Odysseus looked like he had been hit by a train, and the eerie silence that overcame the other tables around us made me feel incredibly small, but I wasn’t going to back down now. Soren finally reanimated, and scoffed a lighthearted chuckle, “Well, you know Seb and I would never think differently about you! Welcome aboard, kid; what size do you want your company jacket in!?” He cried, which made laughter break the unbearable silence.
Sebastian beamed like a star at me, and smooshed his cheeks in between his hands, “Good for you for finally being true to yourself! I’m so proud of you, my sweet Angel!”
“For real, Nick! I think it’s great you trust us enough to be honest like this. I’m honored to be one of the first people you told!” Griffin sang with a genuine smile that melted my heart.
“I never thought you’d be gay, but what do I know! And as for everyone else…!” Praxis stomped up to stand on the metal table, glaring at the now blushing groups who were gawking ten seconds ago, “I know all y’all were eavesdropping, so let me make myself clear. If anyone tries to bully my friend I’ll rip your insides out with a fork, got it you nosey freaks!?”
“Praxis…!?” Sebastian hysterically laughed as she gave the crowd an ‘I’m watching you’ signal before sitting back down to cross her arms.
I giggled and raced around the table to pull everyone into a big group hug, “I love you guys…” I sighed, peaking at Odysseus over Griffin’s shoulder. He was completely shocked that I actually followed through with what I did, but when he saw my smile his eyes softened, and he chuckled lightly before coming over to join in on our hug.
“So, wait…” Soren turned as red as his hair and turned to Odysseus and I, “Are you guys, like, dating for real?” He asked his weaponizing question.
Odysseus immediately cleared his throat, his expression teaming with worry. I let out a melodramatic laugh and slapped his back to snap him out of it, “Yep, we sure are!”
“WHAT!?” Odysseus bawled in spite of himself, but our friends were screaming so loudly in excitement that it drowned him out.
“I knew it! I knew you two were a thing!” Sebastian screeched triumphantly.
“Now that that’s taken care of…” I grabbed Odysseus’ hand and spun him towards me, “You owe me a lunch date!”
“So I do.” He sang angelically, floating on cloud nine as I dragged him back through the courtyard and to the cafeteria, averting my gaze from everyone and everything to force myself to be proud of my courage, even if it was faked.