Chapter Thirty-Nine:

Is this The End?

Atlas

Monday, January 29th, 8:30 p.m. at Hayden hall.

The notecard was stuck to our fridge with a magnetic picture of Nicodemus and I. It was taken fourteen years ago during a fishing trip. Nick was holding a huge trout with a goofy smile plastered on his beautiful face. I held him in my arms with such love and compassion that I could feel it through the photo, which made my heart ache the longer I stared at it.

Ashlynn was sitting on the couch with Zephyrine and her sister, and all three watched as I stared at the photo delusionally. Eventually, Ashlynn stood and came over to touch my arm, which made me jump slightly. “Why don’t you come sit with us, love?” She whispered. I slowly let her pull me to a chair beside the sofa, where I sunk into the cushion and rested my hands on the arms with the same blank stare that I now directed towards the door.

Nicodemus himself came downstairs a moment later, dressed handsomely in a black jacket, jeans, and a loose fitting t-shirt. He had an overnight bag, and a nervous smile. “Alright, guys, I'm off to see Soren and Sebastian!” He chirped, though Ashlynn and I knew it was a flat out lie.

“Have fun, and make sure to call us when you get there.” I said blandly. He nodded, then leaned down to hug me before kissing his mother’s cheek and whisking his car keys out of the bowl beside the television.

Once the door shut, Zephyrine turned to me with lifeless eyes, “Where is he really going?”

“To see Odysseus I’m sure.” Ashlynn scoffed with a light giggle.

“How do you know that?” Blaine asked as he pulled a chair up beside me to lounge in.

“I caught he and his Shadows scouring the Valyce database for your address.”

“Sneaky shits…” Deveraux chuckled.

“Ah, whatever. Let them bang and be happy,” Blaine joked, which made almost everyone laugh. I continued to stare forward, unamused by the comment. The group awkwardly stopped laughing, then sighed and pressed their lips together. Galaxy finally walked inside with Magnus and Aster, his own second in command, looking so exhausted I thought he would collapse on the doorstep. Seeing him in this state struck an odd chord in me, and I gingerly stood and took his arm.

He blinked in shock at me, but allowed me to sit him in my chair. I slid a hand onto his shoulder and lovingly patted his back, which made him raise an eyebrow. Ashlynn shook her head to him; he shrugged once before smirking and patting the hand I had on his arm. “So, I believe it’s time?” Magnus asked, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms.

“It seems to be. You two are the only people we could trust with the academy while we’re gone...” Elizabeth sighed.

“Not like we had much else going on,” he joked.

“We truly appreciate it, Magnus. You’re both sacrificing a great amount of time and patience into helping us with this, task…” Blaine unsurely tried.

“We’ve been friends long enough, so it’s nothing to worry about. I’m glad we can take over while you all sort out this, mess, to say the least. What’s the plan?” Aster asked seriously.

“Tomorrow night, we’re bringing them all to Hayden hall. Nicodemus is going to do what he believes he can to find Halcyon, and try to resurrect her. Assuming that goes as planned, we’ll give the two some time to recover, and then move into phase two; transport the kids to the Human Realm. It’s their first test to see if they have learned to be tactful on their own, and give us time to work one some things for a few months. Following this, when they return, we are going to bring them to Sanctum Regnum. They will begin the final phases of their training as Gods-to-be there before we engage in the final battles.” Galaxy explained.

“In the meantime, we need to prepare the Sanctum Regnum, as well as make sure Pandora is kept at bay. She hasn’t poked her head out since I burned her shit pile down, but she also doesn’t know we plan on transitioning Gods just yet.” Blaine sighed morosely.

“What are you going to do, Elizabeth?” Magnus asked.

“I have my own tasks to deal with. According to the book, Halcyon is supposed to continue being the God of Water alongside the Successors, so I assume she will take my position. She and I will talk of what needs to be done, and how I can help the others.” Elizabeth explained.

“Alright, no problem. We’ll make the best of what we can.” Aster said confidently.

“Let’s be serious for a moment. Do you all plan on living through this?” Magnus croaked.

The Gods all looked to one another with blank expressions before Deveraux softly sighed, “Depends on what happens. We’d plan on it, but with the amount of powers these kids have, they may end up killing us…” He admitted, though no one argued his statement.

“You’re serious?!” Aster cried.

“Dead,” I snapped, breaking my silence and causing everyone jump, “Nicodemus alone is probably going to kill me, I have no doubt about it. I barely beat Seraphine in our fight, and she only has two Shadows. He will have six, and he’s the Successor of the most powerful God to ever walk the universe. I stand no chance against him…” I whispered.

“Don’t think like that…” Galaxy cooed, looking up to smile weakly for me, “You know Nicodemus will do everything in his power to make sure you’ll live…?” I went to speak but pressed my lips together instead, causing him frown to me.

A beat of awkward silence followed before Blaine tsked and stretched, looking to his watch, “Well, since I'm sure Nicodemus is at my place right now, I think I'm going to crash here. He and Odysseus certainly have some things to work out, and I don’t want to walk in on anything I’m not supposed to,” he laughed.

“Please don’t encourage them to have sex!” Ashlynn sobbed.

“Come now, Ash, how long do you think they’re going to wait?” Elizabeth giggled.

“Mind if I take the guest room?” Blaine asked me with the same dorky smile he had worn for over two thousand years. Usually, that dumb smile would ease all of my worries and make my soul bubble in happiness, but it did nothing except bounce off the barrier of despair my mind was forcing down upon me. He could see it in my eyes, and his carefree attitude died within seconds.

“Sure, make yourself at home,” I whispered, slowly standing, “If you’ll excuse me…” I slowly opened and closed the front door behind me, sitting on the porch steps to bow my head into my lap and escape the conversation briefly.

The windows to the house were open, so I could still hear everyone clear as day as they spoke. “What the heck is wrong with him, Ash? He looks like a zombie…?!” Blaine whispered.

“Blaine, if I could tell you I would. I haven’t seen him this way since…” she paused.

“Since, he came back from Chandler…?” Elizabeth pressed.

Ashlynn sniffled, and murmured a quiet, “Yes…” under her breath.

The sound of someone standing erupted, which made everyone turn in disbelief to the person, “Where are you going?” Zephyrine asked.

“I knew something was wrong from the moment I walked in, and I'm not going to allow him to suffer in silence. You may find it hard to believe, but I can read that man like a book. As much as he loves you, Ashlynn, it’s quite obvious he needs me right now.” Galaxy said, slowly ghosting to the door. He slid it open, then closed it softly before stepping down the porch casually and taking a seat beside me. He had his hands in the pocket of his khakis, and crossed one leg over the other with a soft sigh. I knew what the sigh meant; ‘Tell me what’s wrong, Atlas.’ It was a sigh I had heard only a handful of times in my life, but whenever it escaped him, it meant that this was serious and I had better take advantage of his kindness while I could. He turned to me and leaned down, peering into my eyes from underneath my hair. “Well? I expect an answer…” He scolded.

Tears bubbled and spilled down my cheeks, clouding my vision and making his eyes widen in shock, “I'm so scared, Galaxy…” I hiccupped, in a broken voice that I never knew could possibly escape my lips. The sound made him gasp softly in disbelief as I buried my face into my hands.

“Of what…?” He kindly whispered.

“I don’t want to lose all of you…!” I choked, the tears seeping through my hand and spilling over the concrete stairs, “I don’t care if I die… Truly, I don’t…! But, but… I can’t… I can’t do this…! I can’t lose you all! Not you, not Elizabeth, Ashlynn, Blaine, the Montgomery’s… Not your children… And not my Nicodemus!” I wailed, fully hysterical at this point.

He was so taken aback by my words that all he could do was stutter for a moment. I continued to belt out cries, choking on breaths in between sobs I couldn’t control. He looked out over the hill for a moment, collected his thoughts, then slowly turned back and slid an arm around me. I sniffled in shock as he leaned his head down on mine, and hugged me as close and tight as he possibly could. We hadn’t shown one another any signs of affection in over five hundred years. We never had been that way to begin with, but when we separated to do our own things, the distance killed our relationship more than ever. All we had done since I had arrived at the academy was bicker and ignore one another. And now...?

“Listen to me...” he began, in a voice so soft and compassionate that I didn’t believe it was coming from him, “I know how scary all of this is. You may think you’re so willing to accept death, but in reality, it’s very scary even still. It’s ok to be scared, Atlas. Whether your eighteen, over two thousand, or even the God of Death, you still fear dying and the aspect of leaving everything you love behind. All of us are scared. None of us want to begin to think about losing one another, let alone losing our children. It’s terrifying, thinking that we may have to leave them all alone in this world…” he choked up.

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“I promised that boy from the day he was born up until this very moment that I would always be there for him. That I would love him until I took my last breath. If I can’t be here for him, especially when he needs me most, what kind of father can I call myself? He’s everything I have in this world, Galaxy… I can’t imagine not being able to see him again…!” My tone shifted, and I squeezed into a ball morosely, “There are so many things I regret, that I wish I could take back, and now it’s too late! I made so many bad decisions, and I can’t fix them…”

“Atlas, you can’t continue to drown yourself like this…?!”

I tensed up briefly, “Do you know, what my biggest mistake was? June 24th, year 53.” I stammered, my legs shaking wildly.

“53…?” He questioned before a lightbulb flicked in his head, “53…” He sighed sadly.

“I’ve never been able to forgive myself, for what I said to you that day…”

“Do you hear yourself?” He joked lightly, shaking my shoulders, “You’re worrying about something that happened over nineteen hundred years ago...?”

“The look on your face is forever burned into my nightmares,” I croaked seriously, “That agonized, heartbroken, betrayed expression that you had as you walked off that field… I have never, ever, seen a being look so utterly destroyed, and to think that I was the cause of that absolutely breaks my heart. You are my brother, and yet we have spent two thousand years hating one another. You have a huge ego and don’t think before you speak, while I'm stubborn and make every decision on impulse. We are each other’s worst nightmare, and we have never done anything to fix that. We’re all we have in this world, and we have utterly failed one another. All I have wanted for years is to reconcile, and yet I always let past arguments cloud my vision.

You were absolutely right, that day in the parking lot. You have always done everything on your own. You built this academy by hand, and brought it to the magnificent glory it is today. You’ve sacrificed everything you know and love to give Elementals a place to feel accepted. You’ve given thousands of them a home when no one else would. You taught them to be proud of who they are, and to realize the gifts they have are far from a curse. Even after everything that happened between us, you still welcomed me to the academy when I needed you most, and gave my son a life I never thought he could have. As angry as I get with you, Galaxy, I will never deny one thing; you are one incredible son of a bitch, and I am proud to be your brother.”

Galaxy was dead silent for a moment. He was so quiet that I peeked up at him, only to see him staring forward with even more aggressive tears falling down his cheeks. His mouth hung slack, unable to form words in response. I smirked a little and sat up, throwing my arms around his neck to jerk him into my chest. He jumped a little, but smiled and hesitantly wound his back around me. We sat there for a moment before he sniffled, burying his face into my shirt as he spoke, “As much as I’d like to pretend that I’ve forgotten what you said, it’s absolutely true that I never have. ‘From the moment I was brought into this world, I have hated you. You are a shallow excuse for a man, and for a God. It’s because of you that Phillip McBride tortured me, and I will never forgive you for that as long as we live. I wish nothing but despair and agony for you, and pray that one day, you’ll have to suffer the same fate’.” He recited, which made both of us shiver.

“Yeah… That…” I grumbled.

“I couldn’t believe anything you said that day, for so many reasons. The shock of what Phillip did to you was already enough, but the amount of hatred and disdain in your voice and words… I truly saw and felt how much damage I had done to our relationship. I should have been there for you, Atlas. I should have protected you from all of the horrible things you’ve been through. I should have been there every night that you spent at Chandler. You feel guilty for saying that to me…? Well, I feel guilty for letting someone hurt my little brother…”

I was silent for a moment, which made him turn to me with a tear-stricken expression. He waited anxiously for my response, which finally bubbled from my lips, “I do not blame you for what happened at Chandler, Galaxy. I don’t blame anyone, but that doesn’t mean the memories aren’t forever burned in my brain. There’s some nights where I have sweet dreams, about the academy, or adventures we had when we were younger…” I paused, then breathed a slow, deep sigh, “And some nights… I dream about that cell in the basement. I can feel the chains around my wrists, hear my blood pooling on the concrete beside me. I can feel everything so vividly that when I wake, I can’t convince myself it isn’t real.”

“I know, Atlas… I know…” Galaxy sobbed harder, sliding down to bury his face into my neck again as I spoke, shaking his head.

“Ashlynn has been so kind for so many years. She’s put up with the nightmares for years, and has never once complained. You’d think I’d be over it by now, but no, it still haunts me to this day. I don’t talk about it, ever. I barely tell her anymore, because I don’t want anyone to pity me or look at me differently. The reality of it is, though, that I didn’t deal with the events properly, and I turned to the easiest target possible to take my anger and frustration out on. You happened to be at the right place at the right time, and I was just terrified and angry enough to convince myself it was all because of you.”

“Why would you keep it a secret for so long?” He whispered.

“What kind of God would I be, if I ran around crying about…?” I bit my tongue, tightening my grip on my knee.

He cast his eyes away, searching for the right words, “Expressing your emotions doesn’t make you any less of a man, Atlas. I would rather you come clean and seek help then spend another thousand years grieving and being tortured by your inner demons.”

“Not even Ashlynn knows what truly happened.” I murmured through unmoving lips.

He slowly sat straight, his eyes serious, “What do you mean?” He breathed.

I closed my eyes, trying to hold back my tears, “I'm not exactly ready to talk about it.”

“Well, I’ve given you almost two thousand years. It’s now or never, especially since we’re all convinced we’re going to be dead in a few months,” he snapped harshly, making me flinch.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, my heart thumping wildly, “Thirteen.” I said finally.

“Thirteen, what?” He asked.

“He raped me thirteen times,” I admitted. Horror filled gasps echoed through the house, including from my wife, but Aster was the only one composed enough to silence the baffled audience, as he thought I couldn’t hear them. Galaxy’s jaw was on the floor, and no words could form from his shaking lips. I sighed loudly and smacked my hands to my face to hide the tears that were pouring from my eyes, “Thirteen, miserable, fucking times!” I yelled, clenching my teeth together to try and relax.

“Atlas…?” Galaxy breathed in horror.

“I call myself a God, yet I let that disgusting bastard fucking rape me!” I screamed, panting on adrenaline, “That is why I hate Seraphine, why I don’t trust her with an ounce of my soul. She let her father absolutely torture me, and only after he had done the ultimate harm did she finally accept she was wrong for leaving me with him…” I sobbed so wildly that my lungs seized.

Galaxy hesitantly set a hand on my arm, his own shaking so badly he could barely control it. At first he didn’t say a word, but he finally found his voice. “You’ve lived with this awful, gut wrenching secret for almost two thousand years?” He croaked. I slowly nodded as I turned to face him. When our eyes met, his neon ones bubbled with tears at whatever look I had, and a sob I never knew that man could muster exploded from his chest as he threw his arms around me.

I actually jumped at how tightly he clutched me; he continued choking on cries until he couldn’t utter a noise anymore. I stayed still and let him do as he pleased, a bit unsure of how to handle this kind of interaction. I finally peeked up and smirked for him, “Hey, it’s ok…”

“Ok…?” he whimpered, “Nothing about this is ok…!?”

“You asked me to tell you, so I did. It’s nothing to get upset over. I got carried away is all. I know it’s very hard to hear, but I am relieved that someone finally knows.”

“I can’t believe how selfish I was… You have every right to be angry with me…”

“I wouldn’t have come to Valyce if I was angry with you?” I reminded him.

“Yes, well, what was the first thing that happened when you did? I let your son be tortured because I'm not strong enough to fight Pandora… I'm not strong enough to protect my students, let alone my family...!”

“That is pure nonsense, Galaxy, and you know it. Though, we really need to start working together…” I suggested as I sat up, “We’ve let our pettiness go on for too long. We have something so beautiful to fight for now. Being at the academy… I feel like I'm at home again. Of course Nicodemus and his happiness comes first, but for once I'm happy as well. I get to see all of my friends and family every day, and get to meet and train incredible Elementals. I can see our children grow, and watch my own flourish into something I’ve always dreamed of. We need to let go of our differences, and remember that we need one another as much as our sons need us.”

“I agree. When you accepted my invitation for Nicodemus to join the academy, I couldn’t handle my excitement. Seeing him grow… he reminds me so much of you that I can’t even look at him sometimes. It reminds me of when we grew up, and how much time I’ve lost in your life, and his. I want him to trust me as both his headmaster and his uncle, and I want my kids to love and trust you the same. I want us all to be one big, happy, cliché family, especially after this whole mess is over. The kids are going to need us now more than ever before, and I want to be there for them, for all of them.”

“You coming out here tonight is already a step in the right direction,” I joked, ruffling his disheveled hair. He blew it out of his face obnoxiously, which made us laugh at one another.

“Well, I surely wasn’t going to let you mope about like a corpse,” he cackled.

“You don’t know how much it means to me, that you still are here after all of these years…” I said seriously, which made his eyes widen, “No matter how far I go, I know that I always have a home wherever you are. You’ve made it very clear to me, especially over the last year. I know my decision to keep Nick a secret was so harmful to us, but now you all see why I did. Even after I had done something so selfish, you welcomed he and my family here with open arms, and that has always baffled me. Having your support, no matter what form it comes in, is a luxury I have taken advantage of. I want to help you, Galaxy, to make up for all of the lost time between us. I spent years traveling the world, exploring amazing things, living an exciting life, while you holed yourself up in this Realm and acted like an adult. It’s time someone alleviated some of the pressure off your shoulders. I am more than capable to run the academy while you take a break, and I want to make sure you have the chance to.”

“You act as if I don’t like my job?” he laughed, “If I wanted a vacation, Atlas, I would take it. Right now, we have so much going on that it would be foolish and selfish to up and go. Though, what would be nice, is if we could do something together. We’ve been adults so long that I don’t think we remember what we used to enjoy as kids.”

“Yeah, that’s true… Though, I don’t think kids these days play Knucklebones,” I said, which made him explode into laughter.

“Do you remember that game! Oh, it used to be so fun…!” He cried like a child, “Gods, I loved that game. We used to spend hours playing that with Ash and Elizabeth…”

“If I'm not mistaken, that’s how you met, isn’t it?” I asked, which made him blush.

“Yes, it was. Elizabeth was new to the school, following Ashlynn liking our tutor so much, and Ashlynn was bringing her outside to introduce her.”

“I so knew you liked her. I don’t know why it took until we were eighteen to court her?”

“Excuse me for not being a walking chick magnet like you, dork!”

“Chick magnet? I’ve been with the same person from eleven until now!”

“And do you remember how that happened?” He snorted as I took my turn blushing. “I believe all you said was, ‘I think you’re pretty’ and she melted. I call that skill, little brother!” We exploded into giggles; I shook my head and shoved him playfully. “Regardless…” he turned to me, his eyes glowing with happiness, “We’re going to get through this, together, alright? We’re going to come out of this stronger, and when we do get home, we’ll focus on spending more time together. I want to fix everything as much as you do, and I think it’s about time we start appreciating one another a little more.”

“I agree. Thank you, Galaxy. Sometimes, there’s just some things…?”

“Some things you need a big brother for?” I smiled and nodded, which made him tsk and ruffle my hair fast. “Two thousand and thirty or not, you’re still Shortcake to me!”

“I told you to NEVER call me that!” I cried, punching his arm as he laughed obnoxiously.

“Shortcake, Shortcake!”

“I hope you choke on your tongue,” I snapped as he continued to cry hysterics, holding his stomach as I rolled my eyes and smiled lovingly to him.