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Cyber Dreams
6.53 Cassie

6.53 Cassie

“So,” Aya asked, handing Ghoul a “Radish Top” IPA, “Juliet introduced you as ‘Ghoul,’ but isn’t that, like, your handle?”

Ghoul, holding a very quiet Brooke on her lap, took the beer and smiled. She glanced at Juliet and shrugged almost sheepishly. “Yeah, it’s Cassie. I think I kind of prefer that these days.”

“Hey!” Juliet nudged her knee with her boot. “When I asked last time—”

“I don’t care, really,” Ghoul hurriedly added. “I mean, you can call me whatever.”

Aya sat down beside Ghoul and pointed at Juliet with her beer. “I still call her ‘Lucky’ most of the time. She wouldn’t tell me her name for the longest time.”

Juliet groaned and sipped some more of her lemonade—too buzzed to put up an argument. She silently sent a prayer of thanks that her nanites would ensure her hangover was mild. Something sizzled loudly from the grill, and Bennet cried, “Water! Get me some water, or we’re eating charcoal!” Emma ran toward the trailer, and Juliet giggled, more amused by the spectacle than she should’ve been.

Ghoul—Cassie—nodded toward Juliet. “Looks like someone got a head start on me, huh?”

“I think she was nervous,” Aya said, utterly oblivious to the glare Juliet sent her way.

“Nervous?” Cassie kissed Brooke’s head and then nodded—far too seriously for Juliet’s taste. “Me too, I guess.”

While Juliet stared at Cassie, their eyes locked like invisible lines connected them, Aya cleared her throat and reached over to wriggle Brooke’s foot. “Hey, do you like art books?”

“Pictures?”

“Yeah! I’m writing a book about her,” Aya nodded at Juliet, “and I’ve got a bunch of really cool scenes drawn. Do you want to see if they’re any good? I need a second opinion.”

“Really? Can I, Cassie?” Brooke tilted her head back to look up at her aunt’s face.

“I think that would be sweet.” Cassie rasped, smiling at Aya, her chromed teeth glinting in the firelight. Aya tugged on Brooke’s little hand, and she slid off Cassie’s lap. She walked, almost hesitantly, behind Aya, over toward her tent. Brooke slowed to a stop and looked over her shoulder, and Aya paused until Cassie waved her on. “Go ahead, silly. I’ll be right here.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you liked ‘Cassie’ better?” Their chairs were very close, angled toward each other, so it was easy, almost too hard to resist, for Juliet to nudge her knee again with her boot.

“I, uh,” Cassie licked her lips, “I have a hard time telling people how I really feel. You should get that by now; I wasn’t exactly being honest last time we were face-to-face.” She didn’t say it, but Cassie’s eyes twitched toward Aya’s tent, and Juliet knew she was talking about Brooke and her sister.

“She’s adorable, you know? She looks like a miniature version of you. A tiny Ghoul—” Juliet sighed and shook her head. “Sorry! It’s gonna take me a while to think of you as ‘Cassie.’” Cassie started to protest, but Juliet held up her hand. “No, I want to. I want you to be the person in here,” she leaned forward and gently touched Cassie’s chest, just beneath her collarbone, “on the outside, too. You’re starting a new chapter in your life, Cassie, and you deserve to put that other chapter behind you.”

Cassie nodded, smiling. “I do want to. I don’t want to be the person who worked with Vikker and Don anymore. I want to be the person who Brooke looks at like some kind of damn superstar.” She laughed and sipped her beer. “Not that I have any clue how to do it!”

“That’s what’s great about kids, though, right? Just be good to them, and you’re pretty much guaranteed to come out looking like a hero.”

“Exactly!” She chuckled. “I mean, that was kinda why I was nervous to see you. I need you to understand that I have to be here for her. There’s, like, no other option. You get that, right?” Cassie’s self-conscious body language—shrinking back in her chair, holding the beer bottle in front of her mouth, narrowing her eyes—hinted at her being afraid Juliet wouldn’t understand for some reason, and Juliet couldn’t quite fathom why.

“Are you crazy? Of course I understand! God, Cassie, the whole reason any of us should be doing anything in this messed-up world is for kids like Brooke. I’d be pissed if you said you wanted to hand her off to someone else and run away. You wouldn’t be the person I care about if you could do that.” As she spoke, Cassie reached over and took her hand in hers, squeezing it gently. It felt nice, and Juliet’s heart began to hammer.

“Let’s walk?” She gestured to the tent where Aya’s and Brooke’s shadowy silhouettes could be seen shifting through the thin material. “We won’t go far, but—” She didn’t know exactly how to explain that she felt the need to move, to put a little more distance between themselves and the background noise of Bennet’s boisterous conversation with her sister.

“Sure,” Cassie interjected, standing up but still holding Juliet’s hand.

Juliet smiled and tugged on those slender, warm fingers, guiding her away from the fire into the chilly night. As she promised, they didn’t go far before she slowed to a stop and turned to face Cassie, struggling to find the right words for what she wanted to say. “Now I need to tell you why I was so nervous about seeing you again.”

“I already pretty much know what’s up.” She shrugged. “I mean, when you described this place, you said you were building a home for Emma, a place you could visit. So, yeah, I figure—”

Juliet seized the opportunity to speak about anything other than her feelings, “Oh! I wanted to talk to you about that! Listen, when I picked this place to build, you have to figure I was thinking about you, right? When I got your message about Brooke and your sister . . .” Juliet lifted Cassie’s hand, grasping it with her other hand, holding it between them. “I want you to live here, too. I want you to have a safe place to raise Brooke where you never have to worry about rent or who’s coming and going, or—”

“I can’t do that, J! Your sister doesn’t even know me, I—”

“No! I already spoke to her. Listen, we have twenty-five acres here, and we’ll have power, water—anything you could need. I ordered ‘homestead’ modules, and it’ll be trivial for Benny to set up a bedroom and kitchen module for you, so you’ll have your own space with Brooke, but you’ll be close to friends, you know? Close to help if you need it.”

“I mean . . .” Cassie’s eyes, looking up at Juliet, were like two little pools of light, like candles beneath the surface of crystal-clear ice, as they reflected the moon and starlight. “How could I say no to that? If you’re sure the others don’t mind.”

“They don’t!” Juliet’s smile pulled hard at the corners of her mouth; she felt relieved and strangely self-satisfied for getting Cassie to agree.

“So, like . . .” Cassie’s words didn’t come, but she added her other hand to where Juliet held hers, so they stood there, hands entwined, staring into each other’s eyes in the darkness.

“So, like, uh—” Juliet chickened out and broke eye contact. As Cassie sighed and squeezed tighter, refusing to let her retreat, Juliet shook her head, barreling into her rehearsed words. “Cassie, you know the creeps who sent that chip to you?” She wanted to paint a bigger picture for her, wanted to explain her motivations before she, herself, forgot about them and just said, “Melt it,” and embraced the moment.

“Yeah?”

“That was, like, the tip of the iceberg of their evil, messed-up, ugh, machinations.” She smiled, nodding at her vocabulary. “They, um, fled the system—long story—but left behind a lot of problems. There are conflicts cropping up all over that could build into bigger wars. I mean all over the place, all over the system, and I’m working with some people who mean to undo the mess those creeps left behind. I’ll be . . . all over the place. I’ll be gone for months or years at a time. If my, uh, friend, manages to figure out where the, um, bad guys went, then I might chase after them. I don’t know if I’ll ever come back; that’s the situation with all of this—none of it will be a walk in the park. There aren’t any guarantees.”

Cassie shook her head and sort of smirked a little, flashing some of her sharp, shiny teeth. “Really? Bad guys who ‘fled the system?’ A mysterious ‘friend’ pulling the strings? Life or death missions? Juliet, if you’re trying to turn me off, you’re doing a shitty job. You’re shiny as new chrome on a fine, fine street racer. God, it’s killing me, you know? I want to say, ‘Take me with you!’ Hah!” She continued to shake her head, holding up a hand so Juliet knew she wasn’t done as she gathered her thoughts. “I want to say that, but I can’t. As soon as I remember about Brookie, everything changes. There’s nothing—no fine lady, no shiny chrome, nothing—that could pull me away from her. Do you get that?”

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Juliet squeezed Cassie’s fingers. “I do get that. I hope you get why I hope you find someone who will be here for you, though. I hope you get why I couldn’t handle having someone waiting for me. That’s not my thing, and I—”

“Say no more, J.” Cassie returned the pressure, gently squeezing her hands. “I’m here for you, okay? You can count on that. If you’re out there fighting for a better world for Brookie? If you’re out there and you need a place to think of as ‘home?’ You better damn well believe I’m here and that I’ll be doing everything I can to make the most of what you’re giving us.”

“Do you promise? Do you promise you won’t stop trying to find love here? I want to believe you’ll live a good life, no matter what I’m doing or where I am. I swear the guilt—"

“Hush!” Cassie pulled on Juliet’s hands, tugging her close until she fell into an embrace. The top of Cassie’s head, as she rested it against Juliet’s chest, fell just under her chin, so Juliet tucked into it, folding her arms around her. It felt like she fit perfectly against her, and the heat between them, building up in the fabric of Juliet’s flannel and Cassie’s sweatshirt, was like a fire, pushing away the chill of the evening mountain air. Juliet memorized the feeling, swearing to herself that she’d never forget it, no matter where she flew or what she was up against.

“I didn’t even really say what I felt like I needed to say,” she sighed, practically whispering.

“I get it, though. I appreciate you. I’m sorry I put these feelings on you. I’m sorry I—”

“Now you hush. Let’s make the most of our time, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Cassie sniffed. “Yeah, for sure.”

Unsurprisingly, Juliet’s eyes were overflowing with tears, and, as they began to stream down her cheeks, she finally let go of Cassie with one arm and wiped them away with the soft, warm fabric of her sleeve. Then she gripped Cassie again, pulling her tight, squeezing her until she grunted, gasping a little for air. “Thank you,” she mumbled, finally relenting, reducing the pressure so Cassie could breathe and, more importantly, speak.

“Shit!” She laughed. “I don’t remember you being that strong.” She gently stroked Juliet’s hair, chuckling, and then Bennet, naturally, ruined the moment.

From back at the fire pit, he hollered, “Hey, uh, hate to interrupt the love fest, but this meat’s done.”

“Food?” Aya called from her tent and, a moment later, was echoed by a smaller, higher-pitched voice.

“Food?”

Cassie laughed and wriggled, trying to break free of Juliet’s arms. “Come on, J; we’re drawing a crowd.”

Juliet let go but kept a hand on Cassie’s shoulder as she wiped her eyes again. “God, I feel like I’m weightless. Thank you.” She looked at Bennet, standing with a spatula in his hand and an apron over his bare chest, and softly growled, “You’re next, Benny!”

“Next?” Cassie asked, arching a pale eyebrow.

“I think some people around here need some hugs!” Juliet giggled. She was buzzed, but she wasn’t drunk. Even so, she felt like releasing some energy. It felt like her nervousness and tension with Cassie had built something up that had to be let go. With an evil grin, she started jogging back to the fire, then picked up speed, racing toward the big man as Cassie laughed behind her.

Bennet tried to get his spatula up to defend himself, but Juliet was too fast. She slammed into him, arms wide, and grabbed him in a bear hug. He was too broad, especially with his arms inside her grasp, for her to reach far enough to clasp her hands together, but she tried, squeezing with everything she had.

“Oof!” he groaned as she managed to lift him off his feet, using her cybernetic leg and reinforced spine to good effect. “What the hell?”

“I’m just sharing some of the love!” Juliet grunted. Emma giggled madly, backing away, but not soon enough. Juliet locked eyes with her and narrowed her brows. “Ready for your dose, sis?”

“What?” She stumbled back. “No!” She glanced around, eyes wide, and spied Aya coming out of her tent. “Aya!” she cried, turning to run off into the grassy meadow. Juliet released Bennet and started after her.

As Bennet nearly fell, gasping for air, Juliet yelled, “You should know better than to run from a predator!”

“Aya! Help! Something’s wrong with Juliet!” Emma barely got the words out, giggling, as she scrambled away from Juliet, only to trip and tumble into the grass. Juliet pounced on her, and as Emma squealed with hysterical laughter, she gathered her up in a hug from behind and began to roll back and forth, snarling and growling as she slobbered kisses all over the back of her neck.

Angel, well aware of what Juliet was up to, enhanced the gain on her audio implants, so she heard Aya ask, “Uh, what’s going on?”

“Lucky finally went nuts from all those cybernetics,” Bennet chuckled. “She just attacked me, and now she’s mauling her sister.”

“Cassie?” a tiny-voiced Brooke asked, more than a little nervously.

Juliet grinned and released her sister. Leaping to her feet, she hunkered down and glared out of the darkness back at the camp. Subvocalizing, she said, “Make my eyes glow, Angel.”

“Done—I hope yellow is okay.”

Juliet held her hands out like claws and began stalking toward the campfire. “I heard there’s a little girl in this camp,” she called. “A little girl who likes being visited by the tickle monster!”

“Cassie?” Brooke asked again, tremulously, glancing at her aunt.

“Run, Brookie!” Cassie laughed.

Juliet charged out of the grass, snarling and growling and, as Brooke squealed and turned to run, leaped through the air, pushing off with her cybernetic leg. She must have cleared seven meters and reveled in the gasps and laughter as she landed next to the firepit with a thud. Brooke squealed again, and Juliet would have let up, not wanting to really scare the girl, but there was a definite giggle chasing those squeals, so she howled madly and then chased after her. In short order, she had her down, gently tickling her sides just enough to keep the giggles going. She stopped frequently to kiss her on top of the head and cheeks. “I got you,” she whispered in her ear, only eliciting more giggles.

After a while, she relented and hoisted Brooke up, lifting her onto her shoulders. Everyone was already loading their plates up with food, but Cassie was definitely still keeping an eye out. “I think your auntie was worried about you,” Juliet whispered. Brooke’s answer was another giggle as she hugged Juliet around the neck to steady herself. Juliet pretended to choke as she loosened the girl’s grip and took her hands in hers. “Hold on!” She bounded through the grass back to the fire.

“Welcome back!” Cassie reached up to gently stroke Brooke’s cheek. “Did you survive the tickle monster, honey?”

“Yes!” Brooke’s voice held a definite note of pride.

“I’ll make you a plate.”

“I’ll do it!” Juliet said. “Sit down and relax, Cassie.” As she approached the grill and the folding table beside it with the side dishes and plates, Aya stepped close.

“Hey, why’d everyone get attacked but me?”

Juliet arched an eyebrow at her. “It’s more fun when you don’t see it coming.”

Aya grinned and reached up to squeeze Brooke’s little knee. “I like this side of Juliet!”

Juliet loaded up a plate with a burger, some pasta salad, and a big piece of chocolate cake. With her hands full, she craned her neck to look up at Brooke. “Can we share a plate? I can get us refills if we eat it all.”

“Yes!”

“Okay, but that means you have to sit on my lap while we eat. Can you tolerate that?”

“Yes!”

“Okay.” Juliet grabbed two forks and a knife and then went back to her seat, grunting as she balanced her plate in one hand while hoisting Brooke down onto her lap with the other. “Aya!” she called. “Will you get me another drink?”

“How about something without alcohol?” Bennet suggested. Juliet flipped her plastic knife in the air and then, snatching it by the tip of the blade, flicked it at Bennet. It bounced off his absurd pectoral muscle—thankfully now clad in a T-shirt—and fell to the grass.

Juliet glared at him. “Don’t suggest such a thing!” When Brooke giggled, she added, “Now, Brooke, I’m a trained knife thrower. You’re not allowed to do that until I give you your certification. Understood?”

“Yes.” Her voice was breathless, and Juliet wasn’t sure if she was whispering or just excited.

“Good!” Juliet handed her a fork and then situated the plate so they could both reach it. “Let’s start with the potato salad. Someone needs to cut this burger in half for us—wait!” Juliet held up her right hand, and then her nail extended, buzzing and humming as her vibroblade protruded from the tip of her finger. “This should do the trick!” She held her hand away from the two of them before adding, “Keep your hands back! This will be a dangerous operation.”

“Oh my god, Lucky!” Aya caught her wrist. “Put that away! I’ll cut your burger in half.”

“If you insist.” Juliet retracted the nail. Peering sideways at Brooke, she added, whispering behind her hand, “Maybe it wasn’t the best idea.” She was feeling absurdly good, like she was high, even. She supposed it had a lot to do with relief—she’d been so nervous about talking to Ghoul again, having built up the situation in her mind, making it more than it was, imagining hurt feelings and pleading and all sorts of ridiculous scenarios. Now, though, she felt good. She felt relief that the people she cared about all knew what she was up to, what she was about, and things could move forward honestly. Whatever it was, it certainly amplified the buzz of the hard lemonade she’d been drinking all afternoon.

Aya cut their burger for them, and then it was eating time. Juliet and Brooke had fun sharing their food, and it was nice to let everyone else handle the conversation for a while. Cassie initially made small talk with Aya, but Emma and Bennet scooted closer, and they talked about the land, the modules that were en route, and the kinds of plans they had for the place. After a while, Cassie asked Emma about her tattoo, which got Emma talking about their mom and dad. Juliet’s earlier exuberance began to diminish, so she tuned them out and had a secret, whispered conversation with Brooke.

“Do you ever look at the stars at night?”

Brooke caught on to the secret and whispered in her ear, “Sometimes. Cassie and I like to pretend my mommy is up there watching us.”

Of course, the words brought tears to Juliet’s eyes, but she blinked them away. “Why do you think it’s pretend?”

“Cassie says she doesn’t know for sure what happens when we die, but it’s nice to dream.”

Juliet nodded, pressing her cheek close to Brooke’s. “That’s fair. I don’t know for sure, either, but I’m a hundred percent sure there’s a lot more to us than what we can see and feel.” She looked up at the stars and then, stifling more tears, added, “I bet your mommy’s so proud of you.” She couldn’t resist giving Brooke another kiss on the temple as she scooped up the last bite of chocolate cake. “Want it?” She held her fork close to Brooke’s mouth. She grinned fiercely, growled, and chomped down on it. “What a bite! Like a crocodile!” Brooke giggled, and Juliet pulled her close as she leaned back in her chair, listening to the others talk for a while.

“You’re good with her,” Cassie said after a lull in the conversation.

Juliet peeked down her nose at Brooke and realized she’d dozed off. “It’s easy ‘cause I’m not doing it twenty-four-seven like you. I couldn’t keep this up for long.”

“She’s good at a lot.” Juliet looked up, surprised by Bennet’s sudden praise. He held his beer up in salute. “I don’t say it enough, but we’re all damn lucky to have you in our lives, Lucky.” He grinned. “I hope you don’t hate me for wanting some downtime. A chance to . . .”

He trailed off, so Juliet finished for him, “Have a life? Heck no, I don’t blame you, Benny. You deserve it. I’m surprised Shiro and Alice aren’t down here, too, especially after the payout they earned from, uh, Selene.” They’d all agreed not to mention “Athena” to anyone the AI didn’t out herself to, even someone as close to Juliet as Cassie.

“Those are your salvage friends?” Cassie asked, looking between Aya and Bennet.

“Yeah,” Juliet answered for them, “but they’re up there.” She pointed toward the moon, halfway up the eastern half of the sky. “They put their salvage ship in drydock, and our—well, maybe benefactor is the best word for her—is backing them as they work through contracting one of the lunar shipyards. I guess they’re going to be in charge of having a capital ship built.”

“I mean, let’s be honest—they’re just there to sign documents and attend meetings; that’s one hell of an operation—” Bennet started to say, but Aya laughed and clapped her hands.

“I knew it! You’re totally jealous. There’s no way you’re going to last down here.”

“Don’t say that!” Emma leaned closer to Bennet and took his hand in hers. “I think, if he wants to get involved, he can do it through a nice, safe dream-rig, right here on our property.”

“Uh, yeah.” Bennet smiled. “What she said.”

Cassie scooted to the edge of her chair. “Hey, this was super fun, and I mean it. Like, this was the most fun I’ve had in a couple of years, but I need to get this little runt to bed.” She jerked her thumb at Brooke, wrapped snugly in Juliet’s arms.

Juliet smiled and whispered, “You sure? Could have a campout.”

“Another time, J. Will you be here long?”

Juliet looked at Aya, and her friend smiled, her pink eyes glimmering in the firelight. “Only about a week. We’ve got appointments on Luna.”

Cassie nodded and stood, reaching for Brooke. “A week’s not terrible. We could have a campout for sure. Let me pick up some sleeping bags in town.”

Juliet pushed her hands away and stood, holding Brooke tightly to her chest. “I’ll walk you down to your car.”

“Oh, all right.” Cassie turned to everyone and waved. “I really loved meeting you all. See you soon.”

“Bye-bye!” Aya waved. “Tell Brookie I said goodnight!”

“Nice meeting you.” Emma smiled, leaning her head on Bennet’s shoulder as he waved.

Juliet put her free arm over Cassie’s shoulders and nudged her toward the path. She savored the feelings she was having. She savored the warmth of the little body cradled against her chest, the hot little cheek on her neck, and the closeness of Cassie. It was a feeling she meant to keep with her always, so she focused on every second of it, imprinting those feelings, physical and emotional, indelibly in her memory. If she could, she would have overwritten something else, some terrible experience she’d rather forget, but she knew she couldn’t. Those unpleasant experiences were part of who she was. The best she could do was add something better, something that would remind her of love and friendship and the need to care about something bigger than herself.