The throne room was mesmerizing. The light that shone through the windows on the ceiling gave life to the garden that laid across the columns, vines and bindweeds reaching the top of the pillars. White stone colored by the stained-glass window behind the throne, the arches giving it a grandeur feeling. It was hard to look anywhere other than towards the figure placed in the rainbow shadows. There she laid with impeccable posture, the Queen of Argatha.
Soft ringlets of rose-colored hair fell on top of a white dress, giving her the welcoming air of a blossomed flower. The stained-glass windows left prints all over her skirt to dance around like sunshine. I was hypnotized by the grace and beauty of the scene as the warmth of the sky washed over me. As I finally came back to my senses, Mizuen reminded me to bow down, taking away the cloak in the process.
There I was, in the middle of the garden, uncovered for the lilies to judge. Arsamira stood in front of me, his tone sounding like a plea. And, while I couldn’t understand their words, the strict tone of the queen made me understand I was not welcomed there.
- “I have to confess; we did commit a crime.” - Muttered Mizuen to me, as silently as he could. – “It is forbidden to call upon other worlds. Even if it is known that it can be done, it’s a capital offense. So if the audience goes badly, we might get exiled, or even killed. That’s how desperate we were.”
I, of course, felt trapped. They waited until I was under the pressure of the queen herself to tell me? I could hear the prince’s trembling voice as he looked at us, Your Majesty staring from her throne. At me, I noticed. She gracefully pointed at Mizuen to leave my side.
The lady walked towards me, each footstep echoing across the hall. But as she stood above me, I didn’t feel threatened. She got on her knees - to my level - with a gentle smile, and spoke softly, taking her time to breathe every word. Comforting, calm, motherly. That’s how her voice sounded.
Mizuen came to my aid, translating her words from the side.
- “The Queen asks if you would accept the request and help us protect our people from the war. She says there is no obligation on you, and it being such a heavy weight…No, burden, you are free to deny, and there will be no repercussions either.” – He struggled to capture the queen’s dignified words, mostly out of anxiety. I could see his lip shaking, Daien’s slightly furrowed eyebrows, and Arsamira’s pleading eyes as he looked at us from the throne’s side. I knew I was falling into it; I knew it was specifically planned to leave me little choice but to accept, or feel bad because I caused these people to get killed.
But a war?
I nodded.
- “I’ll do it.”
And the Queen smiled at me again. She took a second to hold a strand of my hair. Her melancholic expression reminded me of my own mother. I felt my heart heavy at her sight, my eyes closing by instinct.
Breaking the spell, Mizuen touched my shoulder. The queen had commanded that I be given a room, and that an audience was to concur in two days’ time to discuss my presence. Hence, I would be presented in front of the royal court.
Heaven knows I wasn't ready.
As we passed the halls of the palace, still holding onto my plastic bag, only the footsteps of the servants broke the absolute silence of the calm evening. The warm light that crossed the windows colored Daien's snowy palette of a soft, honey-colored gleam, yet I couldn’t admire the fantasy beauty of these unnatural tones while feeling the prying eyes of the guards, butlers, and maids stabbing my back.
The crown prince left our side at the throne room, but according to Mizuen, he promised he would visit my room once he was free. I dreaded the idea, but had no choice on it.
While he played with his messy purple streaks, the librarian proposed for us to study together. It would be good to learn the language, and he wished to improve his pronunciation too. His soft voice and clear excitement calmed me down. It felt like a relaxing chat with a friend, comforting enough to forget the chaos unfolding around me, as he tried to tell me where the library was and that I was welcome to visit anytime, even late at night. Then, a door.
Left alone with the basic knowledge of how to ask the servants for help, the first thing I did was sit on the bed. It was a big, occidental-styled bed with a soft mattress and soft, silky bed sheets and wool blankets. I laid there and closed my eyes, not really wanting to check the rest of the room. Not really wanting to get familiar with it. The whole place was so elegant, so bright, so uncomfortable… I hoped that once I fell asleep, I would be back in my room, with my messy bed, my cat over me, and a message from one of my friends' daily gacha pulls on my phone. The unknown smells, the unimaginable textures, the otherworldly details, all of it felt so wrong. I felt my body tensing up against the pillows, the light from the window flying directly onto my glasses.
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With that ray of light, a lightbulb turned on. I got my wallet; some change, a bus pass, a sticker and my ID. I've kept that sticker for good luck, it's a cat mascot from a game I used to play. But that wasn't the important thing.
I checked my ID hoping to be able to read my name, but all I saw were some kind of foreign symbols. Everything else was completely readable, city, sex, birth date-
— "So that's when my birthday was, huh."
I laid down for a while before the void caught up to me.
The rest of my stuff was in the plastic bag; I had a few eggs, a milk carton and a few snacks. As the sunset fell on the city, coloring it of blue shadows, I opened a bag of chips and chugged on the milk directly from the box.
Be it that I was alone, in a strange world, the least I could do was celebrate my mother’s birthday anyways. Be it a dream or not. I just hoped that if there was truth in all of this, she didn’t miss me too much; her, my sister, my nephew, my friends, my cat. I hoped as I drank the milk non-stop, not really caring how vicious I looked, or how the milk and my tears got tangled down my throat, or that the muffled cries could be heard by the servants.
For I was only human, what else could I do but hurt?
It took me until the night to realize what I was truly missing; it took me until the end of the day to realize what I’d done. I had never wished, so badly, for a daydream to be just a daydream.
Gods and goddesses, they know how unfair fantasy can be. For it’s wished upon the change of a lifetime, but we are sensible beings before all of it.
No one came to visit, not eve nor night. Just a soft breeze from the open window as the fresh air of a spring night cleared my mind, thoughts plagued by the lingering feel of emptiness, the trembling of not having anything to hold on to as the current takes you away. Time passed slowly, too slowly, painfully slowly.
Morning came, the sun punching me in the face as I looked for my glasses. At this point I was dehydrated, hungry, and looked like I wanted to murder someone; it wasn’t a surprise that Mizuen almost screamed a bit as he saw me, sticky from the milk and the tears, eyes puffy and red, clearly missing a few hours of sleep, and not being able to see anything from the headache. Before I could even say hi, servants were all over me. Was this the life of the wealthy? I’ve read enough novels, enough manga, so and so, so I should have known what I was gonna have to get used to. Everything is harder in real life, I guess.
A nice cup of tea, a few glasses of water, and a flowery bath later, I felt recomposed and even fancy myself. I almost, almost managed to blend in by borrowing some frilly clothes, mine not only sticky, but also made of a weird fabric that might confuse people.
I headed to the dining hall with Mizuen and a maid who was apparently a friend of his. She seemed to whisper a lot, so I was getting a bit self-conscious at this point. One thing was to be told I was in another world, another was to feel a stranger in another world. I wasn’t really used to being fresh news on the mouth of others. I fixed my clothes and my hair a little more, feeling ragged and stupid.
The wide dining hall, its tables separated into rows- (It was surprising to think both servants and masters ate in the same room.) Chandeliers and plants decorated the wide ceiling, the corners of each side looking like miniature gardens of dark colored leaves. I swear every room in this castle is just a greenhouse.
Sitting at the head of the furthest table were the queen, the prince and the, now I know, second princess. Oh, and Daien too. Arsamira called us with a sign to sit with them, the attention of many of the servants now redirected to us; I instinctively held Mizuen’s sleeve as we walked towards them. But forget all that, for the table was filled with a delicious breakfast- Of plants that didn’t look familiar enough to recognize them, but didn’t also look like anything otherworldly- Of meats that looked trivial, yet with flavors that weren’t common to me. I was expecting either crazy colorful fantasy food or the same as home; but it’s different enough to not know it and close enough to not be afraid. The smell captured me once I was already at the table, specifically eyeing what looked like some tender asparagus sprinkled with sauce. As I was distracted with the meals, a tug on my shirt made me jump a bit.
- “Hello.” – Said Daien, with her unemotional tone. Hearing her try to talk in English made me smile, so I returned the greeting just before the ambience changed.
The Queen of Argatha stood up and looked at her servants with a tender smile as she began speaking. Morning greetings to her people and the legends from above. They closed their eyes in a respectful hum; I looked down and stayed silent.Their traditions were nothing I wouldn’t expect, but I was still curious about them. The people raised their voices in a little chant before waiting for the queen to sit down. Now everyone was allowed to eat.
Her calm voice tickled my ears as she pointed at my plate; I could start too if I wanted. I did as my own tradition and then collected what seemed the closest to a breakfast, Mizuen telling me what each thing was made of. As the meal went on, the princess and the queen formally introduced themselves; it was said they thought a more casual approach might make it easier for me to interact. I wish I’d known that back then, to thank them properly.
– “I am grateful for your welcoming.” – Would be a rough translation, since it wasn’t entirely right. But we managed to communicate despite the differences, and I felt glad of the extent of human empathy.
– “The Queen asks for your name. She knows of your trouble remembering it, so do not worry.”– Mizuen reassured me, but I had thought of this earlier. Always one step ahead- At least when I can be.
– “…Gimme a sec.”
– “…What?”
– “Ah. Give me a moment.”
I wasn’t trying to remember anything; I was thinking that, if this became my name, would I cringe at myself at night for every time I heard it? My pen name, I meant. I decided to stick with it, I had already thought about it the previous night. It was good enough, yeah.
I asked Mizuen for a bit of help in a whisper and then went on in their language, hoping I wasn’t butchering the words too much.
- “It’s not my real name, but you can call me Von.” – I tried to smile at the rest of the table, lowering my head in a bow. – “Nice to meet you.”