EXPEDITION 2.1
September 2nd, 2022.
It had been two day since we had set off onto Route 301, which had a fair number of weak trainers from minor villages and settlements along the route. On average there was a village once every ten to fifteen kilometers, which turned the dense forest into more open woodlands.
These localized ecoregions had different pokémon than most of the Evergreen, ideal for bug-types, ghost-types and fairy-types. Which, thinking about it, wasn’t necessarily a good thing. Fairies are capricious, unpredictable and had logic perpendicular to reality, ghosts are mischievous, tricky and prone to bouts of emotion and alien behaviors common to those tied to the spirit. Bug starts weak, but they are among the most flexible and successful organisms on the planet, with distinctively inhuman minds and behaviors.
But that made them all the more interesting.
“So what are we looking for? I know you want to catch a second pokémon, but it’s been a good hour.” I carefully walked over the uneven terrain, watching out for wild pokémon jumping out to throw themselves at us. Once fainted they tended to flee in an oddly imperceptible way, back into their hidden bases.
From what I remember most pokémon use a lesser version of Secret Power to build secure nests nearly anywhere they want. I had seen Mirko using it, and was reading up on teaching her the modified form for battle and human use.
“I’ve been tracking my target, seeing how the bushes have been stripped of berries and fruit and trampled.” She pointed it out, and I did notice, it was like whatever had been eating was incredibly voracious and a very messy eater. “Plus tracks, I’ve always wanted a munchlax.”
I blinked. “Don’t snorlax consume an ungodly amount of food?”
Akari nodded. “Not as much as you think, though I wouldn’t underestimate their appetite either. They can devour about fifteen to twenty percent of their body weight in a single sitting in normal times and double that when preparing for hibernation. The one case of a snorlax needing eight hundred eighty pounds a day involved an Alpha.”
“… how often do snorlax need to eat?” Akari blinked and took a second.
“About once every five to seven days? They sleep most of the day away, and pokéballs keep them nice and fed.” Akari answered, and I found that was still insane but far more reasonable than a thousand pound bear monster devouring their own weight in food everyday. “And they can eat quite literally anything and everything that doesn’t move a lot. And I can feed one just fine, I’m very good at gathering food.”
Akari seemed a bit indignant, had I touched a nerve?
“Sorry,” I apologized, and gestured to Mirko, whispering a command. “Didn’t mean to rile you up.”
Akari shrugged, her blue hair shifting with the casual movement. “It’s alright, it is taking more time than I expected.”
“Bwa!” Mirko called out, pointing to a clearing where I could hear something munching away very loudly. Akari twitched and I nodded at her silent question, I had decided to actually use Mirko for tracking, using her excellent hearing to hone in on a munchlax.
Probably should have done it earlier but I’m an idiot.
“I’ll take it from here, I’ll need to strategize with Happy and—” She cut herself off.
Without warning, a large mass of blue-green rolled out of the clearing, revealing itself to us without a care in the world. It was a small, very odd looking bear, maybe a fair over waist height to Akari, so around four feet tall or the size of a sun bear… but fatter. Patches on his feet, chest and lower face were cream colored from the looks of things. The… bear-aspect was a lot more obvious in real life, with a short muzzle, and canines poking out from his lower lips as he opened his mouth to swallow a pile of bugs he had uncovered from his trip.
It was indescribable.
His head was like a really fat bear cub head, kind of like a bear-pug but less ugly-cute and malformed. But he was cute, despite being only a foot shorter than me and outweighing me by at least eighty pounds.
The munchlax chuffed, scratching his belly with a loud yawn, revealing ohdeargod so many teeth!
Akari’s eyes were sparkling. “Oh he’s so cute isn’t he? I really hope he does become a new member of my team.” Her usual cool, and more refined persona had been replaced by joy, and she had pulled out dazzling honey on a stick.
“Where did you get that?” I asked in horror, stepping back from the small and hungry bear as large cute eyes focused on the sweet smelling combs of honey.
“I asked a combee for help, there’s lots of ways to gather materials as long as you’re clever enough.” Akari answered cheerfully, gently swaying her stick back and forth to further entice the munchlax.
I took a step back as did Mirko, and munchlax let out a battle cry, launching into a tackle towards Akari.
I think I’ve made a mistake trusting the feral Disney princess.
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I sighed as I was given a quick scan of Akari’s new team member who was currently beating down an oran berry tree like it had stolen his food.
Shared Characteristics
Species: Munchlax, Big Eater Pokémon
Type: Normal
Egg Group: Unbreedable, Monster
Classification: Animalia - Chordata - Mammalia - Carnivora - Ursidae - Somnursus
Wild Threat Level: Mostly Harmless. Friendly to humans, potentially helpful. Almost always flee when they sense danger. (Note: Can steal supplies, keep an eye on one’s food.)
Growth Rate: Slow
Suggested Diet: Omnivore, capable of digesting nearly all organic matter, highly tolerant to toxic plants and rotten food.
Personal Characteristics
Name: Kirby
Holder: Akari Berlitz (Journeyman Trainer)
Age: Six months
Ability: Pick Up
Physicality Analysis:
- Shows minor scarring across the stomach region due to beedrill-related activity.
- Height is measured at 122 centimeters and body mass at 105 kilograms
- Immature male, average in size, greater muscle mass than average, indicating regular physical activity.
Known Moves: Tackle, Rollout, Rest, Yawn, Curse
Kirby was a hungry boy, and had been easily lured into being Akari’s pokémon through the power of food. Though it had taken a battle between him and Happy, where he had unleashed his moves on the pig. He was stronger than Mirko in her base form, she needed at minimum a single use of Work Up to match his strength, and his constitution let him take damage like a champ.
After catching him, we continued to walk onwards until we reached the beginning of the Noto Grasslands, rich fields adjacent to numerous streams and a major river I couldn’t remember the name of.
The Noto Grasslands was rather pretty, or would have if it wasn’t fucking raining like the gods were angry at us. While I would normally discount such a possibility it couldn't be ruled out in this world when gods roamed among us. We ended up having to wait under the shade offered by the forest while the grassland in front of us was drenched in water.
“Well this is rather disappointing, I was looking forward to catching a new teammate.” I shook my head, clicking my tongue as I continued to watch Kirby devour a wet berry, canines slicing through succulent fruit before being mashed by grinding molars.
“It’s just rain,” Akari pointed out, the madwoman extending her hand out to cup the downpour of uncontaminated fresh water. “As trainers, dealing with some mild rain is part of our job.”
I sighed. “One, it’s raining inches, two I’m very clumsy and am working within my own means here and three I’m waiting for it to go down to a more reasonable drizzle. Certain pokémon are less active during rain, mostly the shinx and luxio, the grasslands here aren’t quite dense enough with prey to support luxray.”
The shinx line or Panthera visia was a species of big cat, powerful carnivorous electric-types that served as apex predators across the fields and savannas of Tohoku and Sinnoh. On their own they weren’t much of a threat to a common trainer, but I had checked up reports that a powerful luxio had brought together a number of luxio and shinx and had become a threat in the area.
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Akari opened her mouth, then closed it. “Fair enough,” She crossed her arms over her chest, blue eyes darting up and down my face. “What pokémon were you thinking of catching?”
“A male nidoran, a poison-ground type pokémon will be a good addition to the team.” Nidoking and nidoqueen were powerful beasts with uncommon typing, and a range of moves and useful abilities. They had comparable power to other Starters, and Nidoking had a fairly even split between strength and power.
The ‘scale’ of power between different species of pokémon wasn’t quite as clear cut and based off of tiers as they are in the games, some pokémon were all together stronger and more evenly matched while the mechanics of a real world invalidated a number of virtual strategies.
Even so I had managed to develop a rough guideline when it came to measuring their various statistics. It had taken days, looking up pokédex entries and looking up base stat totals on the internet since the games were a thing in this universe with very different plots. I opened a file for the buneary line which outlined their general stats.
[Buneary]
Constitution: D+
Strength: C
Toughness: D
Power: D
Resistance: C-
Speed: C+
It was a simplistic measurement, and each combat stat had a summary that expanded upon the exact nature and analysis of the overall strengths and weaknesses of a pokémon. Constitution or HP is more a matter of how much punishment a pokémon can take before their defensive aura runs dry and their endurance, their combat effectiveness while injured and the will to keep moving forward. Strength or Attack was their physical might and their ability to leverage that might, and often biologically focused, their aura honed and cultivated to boost their physical prowess. Like Mirko having powerful ear and leg muscles.
Toughness or Defense is their innate structural integrity, enhanced by the powerful energy coursing through their bodies. Power or Special Attack is the vast reserve of aura they draw upon for ranged attacks and moves, like the amount of gunpowder in a single shot.
Resistance or Special Defense isn’t dissimilar to Toughness, drawing from the same metaphysical source. It was power against power, mitigating Power attacks by using their own energy. In nerd terms, Toughness is Fate-style reinforcement while Resistance is a more active defense, like a Skyrim Ward or a point-defense shield.
Speed I’ve already mentioned is a gestalt of multiple things, based mostly on combat within the limited space offered by a pokémon battle. The approximate measurement system I had developed was a baseline, a rough average of her species best features as a species.
A tuft of blue hair tickled my nose, and I felt my neck grow hot at the sudden presence of Akari to my right, who was staring at my notes in curiosity.
“You’re made a basic ranking system for the various attributes of pokémon?” She looked excited, and I nodded. “Alright how does it work, and can I see the rankings for my own pokémon?”
“It’s letter based, and used as a rough estimate for the potential of a species in a particular statistic or attribute, divided into six categories. It goes from F to SS+, allowing me to quickly and easily compare different pokémon. It’s not exact, but it’s not meant to be. Because having an exact and perfect measurement isn’t really possible outside video games.”
It was basically just, these two pokémon are on a similar tier in this stat, contributing roughly the same power in this one attribute of their biology. Basically power scaling, but I’m not going to bother being super-precise with this shit because pokémon are bullshit of the highest order.
Akari tilted her head. “So do you know where Kirby falls within your system?”
“I do by species,” I tapped my phone and moved to another file. “An average munchlax has A grade Constitution, C+ grade Strength, D grade Toughness and Power, C+ grade Resistance, and F grade Speed. Kirby isn’t fast, but he’s got strength to spare, can take a whole lot of punishment, though he can tank ranged attacks better than melee ones. So improving his Constitution and will to fight, increasing his Toughness and Resistance are solid bets.” Power moves wouldn’t be the best idea unless you came up with a very odd strategy. “Having moves that can increase his staying power and strength are a good idea too. Curse works for it, he’s not losing something he already lacks.”
“You’re prone to overanalysis aren’t you?” There was a small smile on her face. “It’ll serve you well as long as you don’t let it overwhelm you.”
“Hmm.”
I watched the rain pour down, and waited.
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I thanked my past self for buying a rain poncho and purchasing waterproof shoes while the drizzle continued onwards. It made walking in the rain much more tolerable, letting me enjoy the pitter patter of rain on the stone path that gently cut through the grassy fields.
I adjusted my utility belt-thing, it was a bit snug around my hips… which made sense after I had gained an inch in the last couple weeks. Mirko was willing to be out of her ball, but she certainly wasn’t happy about it, using me as a human shield. It was a pretty light drizzle so I didn’t mind much, and I could see quite a few pokémon were emerging in the rain.
Plenty of oddish were walking around, the dark blue-green bulbs using their short legs to traverse the muddy ground. They were sentient plant creatures, having evolved from a sedentary parasitic plant which had basically gotten up and walked away from human farms.
Because the difference between plant, domestic and true pokémon can be immeasurably thin on this world. It didn’t help that horizontal gene transfer was more common and far more complex and mutation-inducing. Like planimals are just a thing that exists apparently, which had evolved from single celled algae that had developed both neuron-like and muscle-like cells when they became multicellular.
So plants with webs of neural and muscular tissue that passed down their genes to other plants which become pokémon or turn directly into pokémon.
Oddish were one such species, and while I wasn’t considering catching one, I was taking notes and regular scans of the funny little guys. Though I would if the professor asked for some new pokémon for her ranch.
I had scanned a number of pokémon, from rattata to starly and even an odd scyther or two, though we kept our distance from the latter. Scyther are powerful, aggressive and lethal predators and while they were honorable enough to let a defeated trainer flee it was still something to avoid.
Akari looked worried. “Strange, I know a herd of tauros and miltank graze around here.” I trudged over a slope of wet soil, keeping my attention on the path itself. “But they aren’t here… why would that be?”
A loud howl pierced the air, an almost electric growl that gave me goosebumps, as I recognized the cry. The sound of battle picked up, electrical sparks scattering rain and water with explosive force.
I felt something hit me like a truck, and I tumbled to the ground while Mirko let out an indignant cry of rage.
“Nir!” Something scrambled over my stomach and chest, and it hurt like a motherfucker! I cry out in pain.
“WHAT THE FUCK-?”
As I look down I notice piercing red eyes staring back at me, a purple skinned leporine head with oversized spiny ears, and large buck teeth.
A male nidoran?
It jumped off of me, kicking up mud and dirt with his feet, and turning to fact the growing electric discharges. Grass parted before multiple pokémon, shinx and luxio emerging from all angles with dark piercing gazes. Akari had already brought out her pokémon, both Happy and Kirby blinking surprise out of their eyes at the ambush.
There were a total of six shinx and two luxio of varying sizes, body shapes and temperaments, along with a ninth member, a darker maned luxio who was a good deal larger than the rest of his pride. The shinx were about the size of large domestic cats, the luxio were somewhat bigger than Eurasian lynx, and the leader was… about fifty percent bigger, cougar sized even.
I opened my mouth. “Oh. This is going to be a problem.”
The leader luxio turned his attention to me, and I flinched at the burn scar that was dragged across his left jaw, like a hand had seared through hair and flesh. Dark eyes gleamed with malice and hunger, and claws extended, electrical energy sparking off of them.
Moves, I had a good idea of what they were capable of. The shinx likely knew Quick Attack, Tackle, Charge and Thundershock, alongside Bite. As in the move and not the action. The luxio?
Thunder Fang and Spark were probable additions to their move pools, and both moves had a good chance of really hurting our pokémon.
“Mirko, buff as much as you can, and watch out for traverser and bruiser moves. Debuff where you can manage.” I murmured the order, as I knew this pride wasn’t going to let us go. Not with the look on the face of the leader I was naming ‘Scar’ for obvious reasons.
Akari squared her shoulders, and barked her own orders. “Mud Sport and Curse.”
The pride pounced, and our pokémon and the wild nidoran intercepted. The leader launched himself violently at Kirby, who simply smiled, pushing forward into a strong style Tackle. Happy stomped on the ground, and orange energy surged into the mud, geokinetic force detonated the mud, splattering it across himself and… us.
Mirko looked pissed and lashed out at a shinx using Quick Attack, a low kick sweeping the pokémon off their feet. Her ears glowed white, and she contorted herself into a spinning Pound that sent the poor cat flying for twenty feet, knocked out on impact with the ground. She had already used two bursts of Work Up, and fairy energy flashed from her eyes, forcing a second to hesitate.
The nidoran hissed and clumsily kicked that shinx in the face, and his horn took on a sickly purplish glow, venomous energies given shape. He rammed into the cat, and it let out a pained shriek, batting at the poison rabbit, before being thrown off by a casual Drain Punch from Mirko who switched to attacking a luxio with Quick Attack into Drain Punch into Pound.
Akari sneered. “Mud-Slap, wide barrage.” Happy relentlessly stomped into the ground, hurling solid shots of mud from his mouth(?) as fast as arrows. Two shinx were downed, knocked out cold from the mud blasts.
The nidoran was strangely clumsy, but he hit like a truck with a routine switching between Focus Energy, Peck, and Poison Sting, occasionally weakening his opponent using Leer.
“Move!” I ducked into a roll, avoiding the strong jaws of Scar, thunder and electricity exploding between his teeth. Oh fuck, oh fuck, Jesus Christ on a bike!
His raging scream was haunting, and I rolled to avoid his Spark, the cat surrounding himself in an aura of raw lightning borne of his might. He was fast, easily leaping forty or fifty feet in under half a second.
Don’t ask me how I was avoiding them, it was just instinct at this point and the desire to not get torn apart by an electric lion.
Mirko stepped in front of me, and a red cloak of energy flared around her frame. Golden light burst into existence, and I grinned when I figured out what was going on.
Star shaped rays of energy struck like bullets, bolstered by Work Up. The large luxio tanked them but it left his pride vulnerable.
“Rollout, no mercy.” Akari ordered the attack, and her new munchlax turned the shinx into bowling pins, Curse multiplying his power threefold. Mud-Slap blinded and hurt the electric types, and the wild nidoran poisoned them with his moves despite his tendency to miss.
Scar stepped back, releasing a growl that made me shudder, something primal and basal wanted me to run.
But I refused.
“Swift, don’t let him rest, and continue buffing and debuffing.” More golden stars covered the battlefield, with Mirko pausing between barrages to use Work Up then Baby-Doll Eyes to curse the pokémon with fey energies.
Scar chuffed, claws sparking with energy, and… with a reluctant yowl to the pride, he ordered what had to be a retreat from how the shinx and luxio reacted. They set off bursts of Thunder Shock, forcing us back, and picked up their fallen and dashed into the protection of the thick grass.
The rain had stopped, and my heart wanted to burst out of my chest. Even Akari seemed perturbed, sweat dripping down her face.
“What the fuck was that?”