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El-Ahrairah 4.7

El-Ahrairah 4.7

January 12th, 2023.

“You’ve rested enough,” I sighed as I felt Mirko pull me out of bed. Her auric voice had a slight hint of sultry, but it was calmer than I expected, disciplined, almost stoic at times, though her playfulness was easy to draw out. “It is far easier to catch your attention when you can actually understand us.”

I flushed. “That’s more a case of you having a nice voice,” I replied honestly, rolling my shoulders as I slowly stood back up on my feet, but not so quickly that I’d give myself vertigo. “I didn’t expect your voice to be so… restrained, I know you were stern, a bit serious maybe, with some playfulness but…”

Mirko just gave me a fond look, resting her paws on her wide hips. “I wasn’t always, you know what I was like at the start. I was never picked, they were either afraid of my temper or thought I was weak which made me angrier…” She sighed. “And scared off more people, but you weren’t afraid, you taught me how to channel my power, my anger.” I remember coming up with a simple game, stolen off of something I had watched. Dominoes, fragile ones she’d learn to not break, teaching her discipline while I gave her games and mental puzzles like the move categories to learn battle. “And I love you for it.”

I swore I probably turned a bright shade of red at her proclamation and coughed politely. I wasn’t that lovable was I?

“Umm.” She just looked amused at my reaction. “Yeah I… what were we doing today?” I immediately went to change the subject, feeling far too awkward about things like feelings or emotions. “Now that I can read aura to talk to pokémon, it makes training way less complicated.”

Mirko clasped my shoulder, and I smiled back. “Of course you’ll have to follow the old man’s advice on training with your pokémon. There’s so much we can learn together.” She cocked a hip, simply offering a light but bright grin.

Hmm.

For a moment I focused on examining Mirko, my brain caught up in thinking about things with little reason not to oblige. My memories of her evolution had been mixed with anxiety, awe, terror and hope in equal measure.

But I also remember that feeling, of unfathomable power filling her body and soul, as I let her drink in as much of my aura as I could give. The wellspring of normalcy, unfolding two, three, four, five times until it cracked her exterior, and it shattered her body into pure energy. Her body morphing, reaching into the deepest depths of her soul and flesh, her limbs growing and filling with strength and vitality, ears draping down under their new weight, tensing with muscle stronger than steel, her body taking a more humanoid shape, optimized for speed and strength, as love and desperation both fuel the transformation.

So perhaps I hadn’t taken much time actually taking a look at my first pokémon. Some but not much.

Mirko was… tall obviously, with a short muzzle on a round furry head, with large round eyes with cerise red irises, with large fluffy eyebrows, and a neck covered by her silk scarf which had been affected by the energies of evolution, closer to a short cloak, shielding her neck. Her furry body was pear shaped with a narrow waist, and wide hips, huh is it weird to think she’s really pretty/sexy/attractive? I had… kinda been suppressing a lot of things.

No, I think that’s fine. I could do without that little spike of jealousy though, my hips had only gotten an extra two inches while her hips and thighs were effortlessly nice.

I sighed.

Mirko just patted my head, offering her empathy.

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“On your left.” Akari called out to me, effortlessly outspeeding me on my lap. Four laps equals a mile, and I had done fifteen so far without my body collapsing me. It reminded me of the bad old days of high school, and it didn’t help that Akari was fast as fuck. Two minute mile, my ass!

I could manage a four minute mile without breaking a sweat, which was far, far faster than I had ever expected out of myself. Fifteen miles per hour was athlete level at this distance, I think the world record for a marathon was about that amount, or like thirteen miles per hour?

Of course when I told Akari that she gave me an expression of disbelief, where she mentioned the record for a mile was less than a minute, for a marathon about 25 minutes and for a hundred meter dash it was 1.66 seconds.

Which explains so much about how a three-person bike can power a mech/house here, when people have over an order of magnitude more muscle power to convert into electrical energy. A bike in my world, an hour of pedaling gets you a steady hundred watts, in this one, a thousand to three thousand wasn't out of the question. A three person device could generate enough energy for a house in about… two to four hours?

The way that works involves energy net gain, the difference between the energy needed to harvest the energy source within the soul, and the amount of energy gained from it.

For example, for every calorie of digested food, you might get ten (thousand?) or more times that in aura. Which also explains how plants are able to be as hyper-active as they are, something the size of a human has about a square meter of usable surface area, assuming 1.5% efficient photosynthesis and a solar irradiance of 1367 watts per square meter, and a twelve hour day… it’s about 200 calories and then you starve. But with photosynthesis feeding metaphysical machinery, a plant can grow far faster by using aura to compensate for biological ‘failings’.

I focused on my laps, thinking and thinking and thinking while my legs did the running, burning the energy I had in my body.

Four laps went by in a snap, and I felt my aura pulse and burst to life in the last hundred meters.

One, two, three, four, five, six—

I tripped with a high pitched yelp, and something gripped me by the collar of my shirt to keep me from falling flat on my face.

“Be… careful.” I heard Jericho mutter through his teeth, and I scrambled into a crouch once he let go, then stood up, blushing up to my neck at my clumsiness.

So stupid.

“Sorry, I'm still not used to how… potent aura can be in enhancing me.” I must have clocked in at about thirty seven miles per hour, and I knew Akari was again about twice as fast in short bursts. Aura was powerful, in humans and pokémon alike. “Give me a second.” I let my aura wash over my body, a gentle dance of energies, accelerating healing and growth.

I was working on using my aura to sense my own body, since being able to check my own constitution sounded useful. Aura was a versatile tool, and I did like the idea of being a little tougher. It would also help me with keeping me from getting accidentally ganked by common medicines. Mainly checking how well I could metabolize pharmaceuticals, since I was technically a different species.

Hell, my transition medicine had been chosen based on how my body would react to it. The wrong kind of medication could easily fuck me up. Fortunately I mostly only had to worry about blood-thinners, statins, and certain anti-inflammatory drugs.

Turns out the fantasy of being dumped into another world is a lot less glamorous when you’re not even the same species as the people living there.

“Don’t overdo it.” Jericho continued to chide me, and I just smiled, letting my aura run through the soul dances, tuning into an undercurrent of Poison, a quiet and simmering thing, sluggishly restoring my stamina and health.

All medicines are poison after all.

I had finally figured out how to consciously shift my aura into the patterns of the Types, a combination of being able to understand how my pokémon saw me, and the dances that the people here used often drawing out aura showed me how.

I couldn’t do most of them, but I knew my team well enough. Mirko’s energy was unaspected creative energy, a barely differentiated wellspring, and learning to shift my aura to that same well was deceptively easy. Jericho was of course Poison, wrapped around his body and soul like a pool of mercury, with a growing weave of Earth, anchoring him to the ground. Llayda was a tide-pool of Water and a zephyr of summer Fey, like a flood of love and community, of madness and joy in equal measure.

She’d drown my enemies without a lick of hesitation.

Fleur was Fire, an inner fire coiling about, with a growing underlying weave of Mind gently probing her surroundings. Each Type had a strange spiritual component that I could only sense using my Sight, I wasn’t quite looking at the innermost depths of their soul, but our connections were… soothing, it was proof that I had something right, that I had made genuine connections with other people.

Now that I knew how to shift my aura into the Elements, I could probably figure out how to affect the environment externally. But for now I was stuck with internal aura manipulation. In terms of ‘moves’ I had figured out how to use Poison to heal, sort of a human form of Purify, Fire if held inside made me a little tougher and a little stronger, Normal I could use to apply ‘metaphysical’ pressure to make my aura nodes run more smoothly, rebalancing energies. If I tweaked it I could even turn it into a massage… very nice. Water, I could use it to redirect some of my internal energies, it sort of reminded me of Llayda’s Aqua Ring.

Fairy… was kinda terrifying, it was alien, it was eyes inside eyes inside eyes and while it wasn’t impossible, the Void was far worse, but it was going to be a difficult project to figure it out.

I walked away from the field, instead walking over to where Akari had switched to hitting an ironwood tree with full force. Some trees here were absurdly strong, practically bathing in aura, easily a dozen times stronger than steel. I could see a few little kids watching her, though most were crowded around Aterui who was playing the part of an old grandpa flawlessly.

His training was brutal, though he hadn’t focused much on fighting, said it was better that Akari teach me that on the road. Akari paused at my approach, and I could see Rosetta hiding behind the tree with a thin smile.

“Finished your laps?” She radiated smugness at my sweating. “I think you’ll be able to catch the little story that Grandfather is telling, about how the four domains of the Shirogane got their names.”

“Asagitatsu, Suzaku, Byakko, Genbu right? I did wonder about that.” Those were Waajin names, not old Celestic-culture names.

I listened in on Aterui as he lit a quick fire, which lit up the growing shadows as the sunset painted all the colors of the sky. Five teens sat around eagerly, three girls and two boys from the looks of things, maybe thirteen to fourteen?

The old man just smirked at my eavesdropping and I waited patiently.

“Do you truly wish to learn the tale of the Four Maidens young ones?” He again smirked at me and I pouted. I’m twenty two years old…

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” They all chanted, and I waited patiently, curious about what he would say. They were surprisingly sweet for teenagers I think.

He clapped his hand, and began, his aura shining like sunlight against the rain.

“In ancient days, when the Celestic and Waajin clashed in an endless war, four Waajin princesses found themselves the targets of court intrigue, for the men who would marry them would inherit all the riches of their family’s domains, across the four great kingdoms that ruled all the land. Their names were Asagitatsu, Suzaku, Byakko, and Genbu. Asagitatsu was a princess of the east, a master of Earth, able to call upon the land itself for aid, Suzaku was a princess of the south, a master of Fire, calling upon the burning heart of nature. Byakko was a princess of the west and a master of Metal, calling upon the steel within the world and the beasts clad within it, cousin and friend of clever, clever Asagitatsu. Genbu was the princess of the north, a master of Water, calling upon the waves and beings of the rivers and seas, a sea witch of great power.”

I was focused, leaning on the tips of my toes. “Hmm…”

“One day, Asagitatsu met a lovely lady of stout and strong frame and lovely wavy hair and eyes as blue as the sky, with clothes of patterns and colors of mountains and waves and dragons. ‘Never before have I seen such beauty, such cleverness and wisdom, I wish to know her!’ She said with joy and love in her bosom, and with a mind built to break through every obstacle in her way, and told her cousin Byakko of the west, who in turn weaved her own tale of love and want. ‘Yes cousin, I do understand, I have met a beautiful man, strong and bold and so very kind. But he is not of us, he is Celestic, he is of the barbarian clans and mountain peoples. And yet I wish to know him!’ The two cousins were so very much alike.” He had a wiry grin, the fire dancing to shape people and scenes and clever crackles and pops of flame like music and poetry in motion.

One of the girls looked at Aterui with wide eyes, almost sparkling. Akari just laughed quietly.

“So they spoke to the other princesses of the north and south, who had become their allies and friends in solidarity against the politics of the old kingdoms. Suzaku had found love traveling the southern mountains, rescued by a man and women of the mountain of the Ebizu Celestica, a lovely archer, and a handsome swordsman. ‘Oh does my heart yearn for them both! She is lovely and so witty and charming, and he is passionate and clever and so very rugged. I wish to know them!’ They did not share the same blood, but Suzaku shared strong bonds with the clever cousins all the same. Genbu was the fourth and last and she too told her tale of love, meeting a stranger of the Celestica people, mysterious as the moon and twice as bright. “Oh have I met such a lovely lover by the seashore. They are so very wonderful, and so caring to the beasts of the sea and land and sky, so beautiful and handsome I have no words. I wish to know them!” Aterui just smirked as I picked up on the repetition, which was fairly standard in this kind of story.

“Interesting.” I feel like I should be writing this down somewhere…

Aterui took a deep breath, his aura pulsing in tune with his energies.

“So the four princesses plotted together, sharing secrets and plans and sharing resources, whether of guile and knowledge, or of magic and the power of the hidden monsters. Genbu told them how to love and be loved, and the joy of the other three princesses grew a hundredfold when their lovers in ideals became lovers in truth, against all the wishes of the four kingdoms, against clan and kin and Power as they fell in love with these people of Celestica. Two peoples divided by war, and four princesses determined to risk it all for love. And so they did risk it all, for it was their hearts they wished to share. So they fought, so they bled, so they saved and protected and killed for their hopes and dreams. They refused the greedy souls that wished to hold the power of their kingdoms, and each in their own way rejected their path.”

The flames shifted and twisted like the colors of the rainbow.

“Asagitatsu was clever, and of Earth so she broke her enemies under her heel, with whispering campaigns and the violent aid of her lover she shattered the foundation of the families and clans seeking her power, and convinced her father and mother to adopt a child as heir, a kind boy with a soul of steel. So she spoke her goodbyes. ‘I have broken the power of a legion of greedy souls, I am content and will marry in the eastern mountains!’ She laughed all the way to her wedding with her beautiful hunter shaman of wife.”

“That’s… is this a matter of historical record?” I had to ask and was rewarded by a nod from Akari.

Neat.

He continued. “Byakko was a warrior poet, but her parents were not, with less guile than a slowpoke and more ravenous than a snorlax, and to them Byakko was only useful as a bargaining chip for fat and foolish nobles. So instead, she saw, she conquered, and she ruled. She took the kingdom by force, inciting her people to rise up with forces of arms and monster, and earned the affection and love of her Celestic husband, retreating to the mountains with some of her people, those who wished to follow did so, while the remaining rebels were given the tools to rule. ‘I have destroyed and created a kingdom, and I wish to settle and help my husband’s people, let that be so!’ She begged and was rewarded with family and children.”

Another pause, as the teens asked questions or rattled off their excitement.

Aterui smiled. “Suzaku was of Fire, passion in all its forms, the rage of the crown fire and the silent beat of the midday sun. So she simply stole herself away in the night, having never given her loyalty to her tyrant of an uncle, a dark flame who burned everything he touched including family. He died in his sleep, heart still, and his court fell upon each other with knives in the dark and battles in the day, until his kingdom was claimed by her brother, who had been prepared by his sister to claim the throne and save their people. So she fled with her new friends and adventures across the land, until they were bonded together by ties of love and friendship she craved so very deeply. ‘I have destroyed my uncle and his legacy in a day and night. I have friendships and love, and a smaller clan to call my own in the mountains of the south. I am content!’ she said with a scream to the mountaintops, answered by the roar of the dragons of the south.”’

I couldn’t look away, fascinated by the story.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“Genbu was the most simple, she simply beget terror on the coasts against would-be husbands, small evil men seeing only power, until only her chosen lover remained, as all was fair in love and war, and she was so very careful with her application of fear. She simply wanted to love and be loved, and so she was. But she was no less a sea witch, born upon the waves. She learned of the deepest magics and of alchemy and power, and took it upon herself to heal the sick northern lands of her lover, and together she and they created a new kingdom, greater and grander than any seen in the great north.” He paused once more.

“Cool. Way more exciting than anything I’ve done personally.” I was rather boring.

“And she said ‘I am the waves, I am the water of the sunless sea, I crave love and family and community, those who want my hand are not of my tribe, and never will be, not as they are. So I will be the sea witch they fear, for the sake of me and mine.’ And so it was that Genbu took the north as her community and family, strengthening the Ebizu Celestica with her bloodline and power. So to you, 1000 years from now, hear the tale of the Four Maidens, founders of our kingdoms, who joined with the Celestica, and became guardians of our ways and culture, never letting us forget who we are.”

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January 13th, 2023

The day passed without incident, aside from picking up on whispers and odd rumors that someone named Ekashiba had drifted back into town, and he needed to be… kept away from Akari while he was dealing with… something?

What the hell did that mean?

Today hadn’t been any better for my nerves when I had gotten barreled over by a rather furious Aterui, his aura roiling over me like a storm, and I had been asked multiple times by the locals where Akari was.

There was something wrong and foul brewing, and I didn’t like it at all, so without hesitation my sense of aura expanded to its utmost limit. Akari’s aura was potent, like a living firestorm, beating like a heart. I brought out Fleur for this, feeling it was the right choice while Llayda and Mirko were relaxing in a local hot spring.

Fleur’s inner fire blazed to match my own, and I followed my instincts towards that bonfire of energy that was Akari, shifting with all the patterns of her pokémon.

Fire pokémon, they were interesting, there was a pattern of behavior that was shared closely between them, an almost universal trait that simply shifted based on species and secondary typing. Fire was loyal to those who cared for it, who had earned their trust enough to give it away.

It also meant fire pokémon had some of the highest abuse rates among any pokémon, dragons had the same bonds but they were even more primal, like the difference between a dog and a wolf, you try to pull what some monsters do to fire types on dragons, you die. Hell there was a news report of some guy getting torn limb from limb by his dratini of all things due to abuse.

“I can smell her, I will track her.” Fleur murmured a promise. “Akari is a strange one to pine for, but you are a good human, if… odd.” I flushed and she just offered a vulpine smile.

I followed Fleur as she tracked, using her natural prey drive to guide her mind and body. It was a sequence of Search, using her nose, ears, eyes and inner fire, and found her in about thirty minutes, right into the property of an old empty house at the other end of town.

The next step was Stalk as she gestured with her nose, her aura of fire shifting and spreading like a grass fire, crawling along the ground. I followed, keying my own inner fire connected on the same wavelength.

“Father… go home, please.” I heard Akari’s voice, an undercurrent of desperation and sadness. “You’re not well, and you’re not taking your medication.”

I felt goosebumps, and swallowed as a sour taste entered my mouth at the implications. Fleur paused and ducked and I followed, her fire gently showing the way with careful ease and silence.

The house itself looked pristine, but the backyard was another story, it looked like it had been completely scorched, down to the foundation, flecks of stone and seared loam crushed underfoot. What happened here?

Akari was closed off, fists curled into fists so tightly her fingernails drew blood and I held my breath at the man standing in front of her.

They look like each other.

He was tall, maybe an inch or two taller than Akari, with thick wavy hair like hers but chocolate brown, and steel blue eyes with pupils surrounded by a shade of gold… just like Akari. They both had deep-set eyes, but his frame was stouter and skin darker, more tanned than pale.

“You’re not safe here, your mother told me, I have to be here.” I flinched as I noticed that his eyes looked… cloudy, like they were looking past Akari and seeing something else. “Nowhere is safe…” there was desperation in his eyes, he sounded so afraid and I felt sick.

Akari looked enraged, her face twisting into a rictus of rage before forcefully stilling herself, pretending everything was okay. When she had learned to hide her feelings, why did she think that was okay?

“The last time ‘mother’ warned you of a danger to me, you almost set the crop fields on fire,” she hissed, her voice thick with emotion. “You are not well father, you know you’re seeing things that aren’t there. You know you’re hurting yourself, you’re hurting me. Please.”

“This is my punishment, my child. For my sins, I have to pay. Just leave me to do my duties.”

Akari bristled. “Then leave me out of it! It’s not your place anymore! Not when you cast me away four years ago! Not when you both grew distant from me for your fucking duties! I had to be raised by grandfather and grandmother and the pokémon of the forest for half my life!”

I flinched as I felt the pressure that Akari let out subconsciously, god it was like standing in the sun.

The man, her father didn’t listen; and I flinched when his empty gaze turned to me and—

It’s been some time since I felt the chill of the Void.

“Now, who are you?” I was forced to step out from where I had hidden, and Fleur was staring at the man in… horror, pity?

“He is sick… be very careful.” Fleur whispered and I nodded to her.

“Umm… you’re Akari’s father?” He tilted his head to the left, and didn’t respond to my question. Akari seemed ready to jump out of her own skin, and I could see Rosetta shadowing her dad.

“You are not from this place, are you?” He responded with a tangent, and Fleur snorted, fire puffing from her mouth. “Are you another creature here to ruin my life? I won’t let you…” he took a single threatening step forward, and I flinched, noting how he looked like he was panicking. “I See you, I know what you are! Leave my family alone—” he tried to lunge and Fleur reacted with a flare of inner flame that splashed against his face.

His expression shifted, and he stopped, eyes clearing, widening in horror and guilt, body trembling, and he swallowed. “Ahh. It’s happening again. Isn't it?” He took a series of deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling.

Akari lowered her head. “Just leave, please.”

He swallowed whatever he was going to say, nodded and bowed his head in my direction and... walked away towards the aura I knew was Aterui.

I flinched when Akari looked up and turned, her face was ashen, filled with horror and exhaustion.

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It had been about ten hours since Akari’s dad had shown up while having another psychotic episode, having gotten off his medication at some point while spending time in a Psychiatric Support Facility.

Those kinds of places had a rich staff of specially trained psychiatric support pokémon, think ghosts and psychics, who were both kind and compassionate in their own way.

It didn’t matter. Stop it. Stop being stupid.

My breathing was even but it still came up a little short, having felt the rising panic, the blood rushing in my ear, the low electric anxiety and fear and confusion and pity and empathy all wrapped up in a shivering pathetic burrito that was me.

I had been around people who had clearly lost their minds and their sense of reality, older folks, but this was… worse and it was Akari’s dad. My dad was a piece of shit but I would never want him to just… lose himself like that.

It frightened me. Because my family had a history of mental illness, I had a cousin on my dad’s side who had schizophrenia, and so much of my family was wrapped up in various layers of generational trauma, from abuse and neglect and betrayal, terrible awful things that made my skin crawl, and made me want to break the people responsible. And fact was I did have issues, I had been diagnosed with depression around a year ago.

Before I came here I had been functioning on four to five hours of sleep for months, and had been told I was at risk of psychosis. So seeing it in another person had been… it was a nightmare.

And how much had it been a nightmare for Akari, to have one parent dead and the other lost to his own grief and madness?

I swallowed my irrational fears, having calmed down with a hot shower as cold was something I disliked a fair bit. Which was why here in the mountains I wore thick layers and pulled on that fire gifted to me by Fleur. Since it was about 10 degrees fahrenheit, and I was raised mostly in warm states.

Fortunately Aterui’s house was warm, and being freshly out of a hot shower added some extra body temperature. My hair was freshly dried by a small towel, and I was sitting on my borrowed bed, pulling up my blanket to hide my bare legs, since I hadn’t bothered to put on pants, just boxers. I also had put on a black shirt that didn’t even reach to my belly button after Llayda shrunk it because and I quote ‘It looked at me funny.’

She was weird, but I didn’t care, and scarily strong, a Play Rough from her could apparently level a city block if an energy output of over a hundred billion joules joule was correct for Aqua Tail or Play Rough. Most pokémon don’t get beyond something like level 25, and even then pokémon could level buildings at that level.

At her current level of power, Llayda could probably handle half a dozen to a dozen wild azumarill no problem.

“Get it together, you invited Akari to talk if she needed it.” I slapped my face with a sigh, rolling my shoulders. “Just keep it together.”

And I’m talking to myself in an empty room.

That thought was followed by a polite knock on the door, and I quietly said she could come in.

Akari looked like a mess, far worse than her little breakdown that only gave me a part of the situation. Her hair was matted, and her steel blue eyes were dull and tired.

She greeted me with a wave. “Hey.” Akari crossed the room in a few seconds, instantly sitting down next to my curled up form. Sleepwear hmm? The same silky top and piplup pajama pants?

“Hey.” I replied back with a quiet and careful smile, not sure how fragile she was or what she needed or wanted. “So that was your dad?”

“He was.” Was her quiet, almost hateful reply, a resentment so strong and so familiar it burned me, made my muscles tense, my teeth grind, and my head rush with heat. “He lost those rights a long time ago, and not not because of his mental health… not his fault…” she shook her head with a nasty snort. “If I was grandpa I’d tell you a story… but I don’t want to. My mom… she tried to be a good mom, but she wanted to be a hero so badly, she was selfless and loving and kind… but she never thought of what that did to the people who loved her.”

“She got herself killed?” I whispered helplessly, not sure if it was a good idea to get trauma dumped on me…

“You’re not the first,” my blood chilled when I heard what Akari said. “Human or otherwise. All I know is twelve years ago, something tore open an old scar and it created a hole in the universe for things to… leak. But it wasn’t people that came out, they were things my mom and dad fought until something went wrong. I asked some stuff from Nebby, you walked the same path those things emerged from.” I paled, if I had found one of those beings I’d be dead wouldn’t I? “Mom… she… overloaded her Burst Heart to stop the Faller, and it killed her and broke dad.” There was something she was leaving out.

“That… makes sense I think.” I remember mentions of incidents after Sinnoh, which was about twelve years ago, when reality was almost remade. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“It was such a slow process, we didn’t see it coming. First it was anxiety, difficulty concentrating, increasing suspicion, like a creeping of signs and warnings we just… didn’t pick up.” Akari seemed to be remembering, her lips curled down into an ugly frown. “I knew my father missed my mother, but I didn’t know how badly her death had damaged his mind. It was like… it had torn a seam in his soul, and he hid the more obvious signs and that made things awful at home.”

“Did he hurt you?” I asked, something like rage curling around my chest, he better not have.

Akari placed her hand over her neck, and shook her head. “No… he just broke my heart.”

I almost reached out, but I didn’t know what to say, what to do, I couldn’t fix this, I didn’t have the means, didn’t have the power, I was just one person.

I wish I could…

I carefully turned my head to make eye contact with my friend, staring into those steel blue eyes, with pupils ringed by gold. Man her eyes are gorgeous.

I yawned involuntarily, and blanched. “Shit, sorry! I’m not… I kinda underslept the night before.” I rubbed my eyes, feeling terrible for yawning while she was talking about her life. “I want to do something but I don’t—” I cut off my rant, it wouldn’t help. Like always…

“There’s one thing you can do.” I shrunk back at her intense gaze, the way the gold around her pupils sparkled, how it felt like she was staring right through me.

“If it’s reasonable.” I said with a low tone, unsure of where she was going with this. Aura made it easier to see emotions but I had to be able to pick up the cues myself and sometimes I was… biased.

Her eyes darted downwards. “I don’t want to be alone right now,” her voice cracked with nerves. “Could I stay?”

“I think I can set up a sleeping bag, that’s fine—” She looked at me, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re not that oblivious Brandy.”

I let my shoulders drop with a sigh. “No I am not. But really? With me of all people?” A request of being someone’s little spoon was not the outcome I expected out of this mess. I wasn’t a cuddly person, I wasn’t. I was.

Akari chewed on her lip, clasping her hands together where I could see the marks she had left with her nails. “I didn’t get a lot of… social touch as a kid, my parents were distant and my family scattered and even my grandfather was busy wrangling the clans after the Great Quake. The pokémon living around us helped but… lots of kids were scared of me, something to do with someone who hated my family throwing out rumors. I just… just for a night, I want someone to hold.”

I chewed on that for what felt like a minute, and compared it to my own feelings. I never really liked being touched but I still craved it, I was still a social creature, still a human being. But it was so hard, it was like… it was like hedgehogs, they had a hard time sharing warmth, the closer they got, the more they hurt each other with their quills.

I was afraid of getting hurt again by people I cared about.

But I didn’t want it to be like that, I didn’t want the circumstances of my life to trap me as some… shell of a person. Sure not everyone needed or wanted human intimacy, hermits are a thing and I could respect that. But that wasn’t me, and I wanted—

I don’t know what I want for my future. But I did want to help Akari, she deserved it.

“Okay.” I nodded, deciding I didn’t mind it, and that Akari was someone I didn’t mind a little close contact with. “I don’t mind, and it is pretty late.” I think it was about midnight, and my body felt tired.

Akari perked up, her eyes shining, and she wiggled slightly, eyes darting to the light switch. I gave her a wobbly smile, and she turned off the lights before very slowly entering my bed with a warm flush to her cheeks.

I pulled up my blanket, lifting it slightly and she rolled under the covers, shimmying over until she was… pressed against me, the slightest hint of pressure ghosting along my exposed pudgy stomach, and I shivered, and tried to remember if I had ever been this close to a person.

My mother, when I was small, and some hugs but… I was never good at that stuff. It didn’t help that my family made me uncomfortable sometimes.

There was still some space between us, and a sudden craving for more hit like a fucking truck into a Japanese teenager’s head. It was like my nerves were on fire, and I wanted more of that. I didn’t even think.

I took the plunge, practically straddling Akari, who made a quiet sound of surprise, dragging myself up the bed with a single grunt of effort. She adjusted as I found my place, pressing my face into her upper chest, just a smidge above her breast, and I felt another shudder, curling into Akari who also seemed to be reacting, her body radiating heat and warmth that made me ache.

I folded my thighs, framing over her thin firm waist, until my entire body was pressed into the warm body of Akari. My shirt was hiked up in the move, and a rush of pleasure struck my nerves like an electric shock at the gentle pressure against my stomach. It felt good.

Akari shuddered and wrapped her own arms around me, tucking them behind my back, gripping tightly, almost roaming and probing, lowering to my hips before deciding to settle on my mid back. Again like a spark of electricity, her strong grip was good, very good.

With my head pressed into her chest, I could hear her heartbeat, it was oddly slow, small… no never small, not from Akari, it was distant, strong and far away, greater than she was, like the rolling drum of thunder. Her breathing was smooth, gently blowing against my face with the minty scent of freshly brushed teeth.

What was wrong with me?

Heat poured into my chest and belly, the intimate contact bringing an unspoken comfort I hadn’t felt in a long time. I loved my pokémon, but while they offered contact, I didn’t always take them up on it. I was a fool, I should have said yes. Akari made a sound that almost sounded needy, and I felt so strange, like I was a bonfire burning ever hotter. Maybe that ‘fever’ I was running when Mirko was all cuddly was just me being an idiot.

I looked up at Akari, and in the dark I could still see her golden ringed blue eyes, her entire expression having gone slack, and I could see it was affecting her too.

This was so much more intense than I was bargaining for, and I’m not sure I was going to be willing to ever let go.

“You’re soft.” Akari whispered and I laughed almost silently.

“I’m fat.” I said matter-of-factly. “That’s all.” Why did that feel bitter?

“No…” amusement danced in her eyes. “You’ve just got curves in all the right places, and I’m sure you’ll get more.” I was lost for words, and mumbled nonsense into her chest.

“Mhmm. Hold me tighter, please.” She did and the extra pressure on my skin let my muscles lose their tension.

There were no more words exchanged between us, and I concentrated on that intense feeling of comfort that my body (and hers) desperately craved.

I fell asleep without even realizing it, listening to the beat of another’s heart.