20.3
“Are you certain, John? There is no rush to meet them exactly now,” Evie’s concerned voice trailed in the cave.
Standing before John, she prepared a spherical device, slowly pouring her magic into said device as she looked to him for confirmation.
“Positive.”
John spoke with a determinant face before breaking into goofy grin.
“I mean, they’ve already planned and have met me with their past selves…” his left index pointed to his right palm, eyes looking upwards before he pointed left. “I think that’s more or less how it happened? That’s why they gave you this recording...”
What Evie was fiddling with was a hologram recording of Lord Kharston and Lady Synthia. A medium that should work similar to the book Evie communicated with her mother in real time despite her parting from this world.
Using Synthia’s power of foresight, and by maintaining a constant vision of the inevitable future, the two Elder Dragons from the past were able to hold a conversation from decades before John and Evie were born.
The result was this hologram recording that was left in Ephinelyth’s posession.
In some sense, it was [Message] but done with the meticulous application of foresight magic, hence allowing for them to answer John and Evie who are in the present from decades ago.
Beep...beep…beep...
The device made noises when Ephinelyth finished activating it.
Her arms immediately coiled around John as soon as she returned to his side.
No doubt, Evie was unsure of what her parents would be saying to them in a few moments.
The recording may have been in her possession for a long time, but it was only today did she finally activated it—in accordance to her mother’s instructions.
She was not anxious as much as she was curious what her mother had to say to her.
After all, this version of her mother, of Lady Synthia, was someone who had yet to give birth to her and was one that came before the one who she constantly wrote and communicated with.
“Plus…”
John leaned to her ear, continuing their conversation from moments ago about his desire to meet her parents.
“I have the duty to meet the parents of the girl who’ve I made into a woman.”
“!!!” Evie’s face became lit, she slapped John’s arm in embarrassment, “N-Now is not the time!” her hands kept hitting him in soft blows that spoke more of how much affection she had for him than her own embarrassment.
“Ah!!! No….!!!” placing a hand against his forehead, John feigned his cries. “Help me Father and Mother-in-law!!! It has been barely one week and domestic abuse is taking place in this sacred household!”
“John!!!” Evie grit her teeth trying her best to not laugh at his apathetic acting. “You silly man, just wait till I get back at you tonight—”
“Evieeee!!! John!!! Hello!!!!”
Synthia’s elated voice bounced across the walls, greeting the two who were oblivious that the hologram recording was already playing before them where the images of Kharston and Synthia were grinning at the two of their playful bicker.
“!!!”
“!!!”
John and Evie immediately froze, looked to the other before looking back at the Elder Dragon couple.
“Ahem…” Kharston in the recording cleared his throat, “I told you to not interrupt them too soon…”
“But I have been waiting for this a long time!!!” Synthia pleaded with her husband then shortly before waving back at John and Evie with a loud voice. “Congratulations you two!!!”
“Congratulations. And you Ephinelyth, for having found your ambition, your purpose, I was worried when your mother showed me what will your birth would entail, but seeing your future, I can only say I am proud, my future daughter. Though, I have yet to meet you in person, John, I look forward to it. ”
“Uhhh… Thank you…?” John lightly bowed as he raised a brow in confusion.
Is he talking about meeting my younger self? About that time he used [Heal] on me?
Evie quickly lifted her skirt before attempting a bow herself, “Thank you, father.”
“Evie, Evie, how is Velerion!? Is he behaving himself?” Synthia quickly spoke in enthusiasm, using the nickname John had given to her.
“He seems to have…” Evie locked her eyes onto John, “...think the visions you’ve shown him is tied to my John. I wish to know what or why that brother of mine thinks so…”
“Why don’t you try reading—”
“You’ve taught me better to interfere with the future.”
Evie seeming to have seen what Synthia would be saying spoke before Synthia could finish.
“And if you asked me if I have ever tried. The answer is yes, and my response is that you and father have placed quite the complicated barriers to some parts of his mind, the effort is not simply worth being in the same room as Velerion.”
“Ufufu…” Synthia giggled, “...seems like I will be putting in a lot of work in raising you to a fine lady.”
“T-that’s…” Evie shifter her legs nervously, unsure what to make of her mother’s words.
“Which brings to the point…” John interjected with a raised hand, “I need to know if my fate belongs to me, to the whims of the world or to what I was born with.”
He stared straight at Evie’s parents, unflinching.
He had discarded all his polite exterior in place of his harsh critical one.
If they wished to exchange pleasantries, they can very well do that after his question was answered. His matters were more urgent.
Without a doubt, Evie disliked Velerion a lot. He personally felt no hatred towards the Magma Dragon, but he had to admit his interactions with Velerion were nothing but inconveniences.
To have his fate tied to a troublesome person like Velerion was uncomfortable to say the least.
But more importantly, he had to know the truth, about the suffering he endured and whether his fate was something that was decided, whether he actually was following a predetermined script or did he had autonomy over himself.
And to know if he was a pawn in a larger game that he was unaware of.
“John, I have a vague understanding of what you have been through so far from Synthia’s explanation to me, about the things you have been through.”
Kharston responded to John instead on Synthia who was still doting on Evie.
“Pertaining the idea that I can undo all that you have endured, all the pain and suffering you felt back at any point in your life, would you want me to.”
…
“Undoing the pain?” John scrunched his face, “That means…”
From as far as he could have remembered, even with the vague memories of his childhood, not once had he truly felt he was at ease.
His world was surrounded by misery, plagued with agony, devoid of love.
It was only when he had finally declared his feelings to Evie and acted on them that he finally felt a part of him finally freed from the prison of his own mind.
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If he were to undo all he had endured so far…
“It would mean that I loose Evie…” his voice, stoic as his face. “No, I…”
His eyes gazed at the silver haired girl who’ve been by his side in his lowest, accept his rage, his sorrows, his despair, his hatred as quickly as his love, his devotion and conviction.
If not for what he suffered, he would never realize her love towards him. He would never see the truth to her ambitions that involved him.
“No. E-even if it brings back those who I have lost, there is no merit in doing so. If their deaths and suffering that I have bore witness to were to become undone, they still cannot escape what is determined.”
Aurelius was a prime example of this. If Aurelius were to not meet with John, the wolfkin would most certainly not die by the hands of Prishine and her followers.
But if such a world that he never met Aurelius Velupus came to be. It meant that Aurelius would be destined to die when his limited lifespan reaches its limit.
Though the wolfkin might have a peaceful death, but John could not say the same if Aurelius will have lived a fulfilling life.
John could not guarantee if anyone would be around to remember the beastkin who had no soul that lived a life far more meaningful than others.
He did wish for Aurelius to live and survive their encounter with the succubus, but to trample on his friend’s legacy was a sin far too grave for him to commit.
If he had done so, he might as well been the one who thrust the spear into Aurelius’ heart.
It would be the erasure of the Aurelius who thought of John as a brother, as his own kind. It was the wolfkin that John knew and owed everything to.
The Aurelius who was his brother.
“There is your answer, John. Whatever thoughts that was in your mind that lead you to say no, is what determines your future,” Synthia spoke. “Many things in the world are bound to happen and the end result may be the same. However, how they happen, the process that cultivate them to the end goal, are just as important as the resolution of it all.”
Kharston followed up, “Fate, does not exist. However, people are bound to it. The future is predictable, yet far from stagnant. How one moves forward, is what determines the paths that are to come. Who we are, are the choices we make, the accumulation of all that was and ever will be cannot decide our identity. To make do of what we have, is a choice, a conscious choice made based on both future and the past, John. And to decide what you wish to do, lies upon you.”
“I...Are you saying to not worry about what is in store?” John asked, pleading a concrete answer that he can make sense of.
“No, I am telling you to trust yourself.” Kharston smiled. “Like how my daughter trusts in her eventual union with you, like how you trusted your desire to overcome Velerion, like how you trusted your past to guide you… No matter what comes in your way, the world will contour itself to your will. Consignor.”
“That is not the case, Kharston. How would I know…”
As John pleaded, Kharston took a step backwards before turning towards Evie with a nod as he ignored John’s attempts to argue back, “He is quite the interesting one, desires not for power, status, nor wealth but knowledge for the sake of his own. “Making it almost seems like you exist for his sake alone, bearing the same curiosity, the same values that he has.”
Evie gently prodded a smile to her father’s compliment, “I have very well made that connection. This is my ambition, one that I shall defend everything with, father.”
Kharston nodded in approval, “Then I have nothing to worry about you, Ephinelyth. Do however, be cautious and not let your passion for him consume you. You brother, Velerion, is barely an example of what I speak. I am sure you can draw parallels to the dragons in the Great Demon War of my memories. They have allowed their ambitions to consume them, sullied everything they know and love.”
Evie nodded, not speaking another word as she fully heeded her father’s words.
“There is nothing to worry about whether what things may or may not come to pass, John.” Synthia spoke in place of Kharston who opted to keep silent about John’s question. “Your future can be decided by your actions, and only yours. Your suffering, your joy, your agony, I am sure you know where such emotions originate, don’t you?”
“…”
There was only one answer to Synthia’s question. His reluctance to use his ‘demon’ magic. His sorrows, his pride…
They were all the result of his own mind. No one in the world could control him, but himself.
“T-then...what of the future that you see? Won’t they come to pass inevitably?” he spoke, voicing out his concerns that his future might no longer be in his own hands.
If that were the case, all of what Kharston spoke to him were very well meaningless.
If he were to consign to his own fate...to dictate how he we would live according to his own values, would he not have to be free from predetermined outcomes for such things to happen?
“Even my ability to foresee the future is not omnipotent, there are scenes, events that constantly shift, I can see the outcome of such things, but how it comes to be, remains to be uncertain, do you understand?”
His eyes became alit, “You mean! How you see Evie’s future with me but not how it would exactly happen!?”
“Precisely. Ufufu, you indeed are a quick one, I can see how my daughter finds you charming, she must like seeing your mind make these connections.”
“T-that’s not…” John looked to Evie having momentarily complimented, before returning to the topic at hand, “Then, how would you and Kharston know things will be fine for me moving forwards?”
Synthia answered John’s question with a smile, “You already know the answer to that don’t you?”
Being Evie’s mother, John knew she must have known something about his very own fate, else she would not be even having this conversation with John nor accepted him taking her daughter. Whatever outcome, whatever events that she had foreseen of John, it surely must have warranted assurance to a being like an Elder Dragon.
“And that means?”
“The world, has an uncanny way of unraveling around you,” Synthia admitted. “Perhaps it is because of who you are, or perhaps it is by sheer coincidence.
“It wants to break you, but have always showered you with assistance. Look back on your darkest hours, on each times you have been brought to your limits, beyond what you wished to deal with…”
During the unfortunate night with Raina Valindra Eridi, John should have died, yet he did not. His exile, his encounter with Velerion in Reperane Woods. The mission in Kershent Village.
The various moments that he contemplated on suicide, the loss of the Harvests, the succubus’ kidnapping, Kirksten’s betrayal, being a wanted man of the Empire, the death of Aurelius, blackmailing of Zondrac’s family…
Looking back, in some way, during each and every of the trials that he was faced with, John, regardless of how cynical and hopeless his felt, one thing remained certain.
He always had a way to progress past them, whether directly, or indirectly.
Of course, each preceeding events was not meant for the better but the fact that he was guided by something unexplainable was undeniable.
He understood what it was, yet the best that he could put it in words were that something was watching over him?
Or was it that there was a certain boundary that the world prevent him from breaking past from?
What could it be…
“We Elder Dragons do not believe in destiny, but our ambitions. Our very own set of purpose tailored to ourselves, and our ability to achieve it means everything to us.”
Synthia spoke aiding John in his thought process.
“Destiny, fate, whatever name the mortals coined it, refers to being chosen by the world. In your case, it would be that you, are the one that chooses.”
“Me? Choose...”
“Like how you chose my daughter, how you chose to stand against my son, how you chose to forego your shackles of your own suffering, how you chose to have this conversation with us, how you chose to not give into temptation, how you chose to not give in to despair.”
Kharston replied, his tall stature and auburn hair reminded him of Velerion’ confidence, but his blue eyes coined the innate intelligence that exuded from Ephinelyth.
“All of the things which, you willingly…”
“Consign.”
The word left John’s own mouth before Kharston could finish.
“And such is your gift. One that grants you your strength, your drive, your ambition, your purpose, an implementation of your conviction so strong that the world itself has to bend to your selfish desires.”
Synthia spoke, her voice tranquil as the room that he and Evie were in.
“I am certain Evie has already told you, perhaps you are still confused, but the so called ‘demon magic’ that you think of yourself, is nothing but the execution of your will upon the world. Perhaps it feels and seems similar to those of the demons, but can you say your morals have changed from before you used them? I beg to differ, John.”
“A-and of the dark aura?” John stuttered, voicing out the last of his doubts surfaced. “What of the corruption of the [Heal] spell I use…”
“They are simply colors, John. Colors that you have derived meaning into, surely, not all the magic you’ve cast with your abilities are shrouded in a black aura.”
The various times he used [Illuminate] was just proof of that, if the light producing magic was pitch black like his hair, [Illuminate] might as well be [Enshroud].
“T-then…” John moved his hands and focused his mana on his palm, casting [Heal] as he felt the healing aura sprouted from his palm.
Much to his surprise, there was no visible magic aura that appeared, he felt the magic flowing from him, but…
Then it turned into a beautiful stream of blue, one that was identical to the colors of Ephinelyth and Kharston’s eyes, a moment later, it saturated and and turned purple, then into a black shade.
The black aura came and then turned bright white as though he had cast [Illuminate] in the midst of using [Heal].
“As I have assured you, that is no demon magic…” Evie squeaked softly, relieved to see John having finally understood her words to him from a long time ago. “There never was…”
Pompf!
John’s body collapsed against Evie as he held onto her to prevent himself from falling.
“Ahahahaha…” a stupid grin appeared on his face, the tightness that was in his chest ever since he was born became untangled. “I… Y-you’re right… E-everything w-was always...in my h-head… The w-world, m-my birth parents f-fooled me into thinking—”
John silenced himself and shook his head.
“No…that’s not it, it was me all this time… I knew that. All I needed was to trust in myself, to learn to accept who I am. You are right, Kharston, like the horrible thoughts that plagued my mind, they are only the catalyst...”
“John…”
Evie tried to soothe him, but before she could, her eyes jolted wide.
What had been John’s tender emotions that she was connected to was replaced by a powerful strength, so powerful that it shook her very core.
What was…
She looked around them, in search for the sudden emotion that entered her mind, she was certain that only John were fully connected, to have such a sudden yet profound emotions surge into her was simply…
Then she looked to John who had stopped clutching onto her.
Standing tall with his broad shoulders and chest up high. His deep brows focused along with a confident glint that she never saw.
What was the naive conceit that was found in a haughty boy had now took on the form of a splendid man, a man who had conquered his shadows from just understanding the truth to himself, to his suffering, to his fate, to his joy, to his sorrows.
To his consignation.
John faced Kharston and Synthia with a solemn gaze, he was still afraid.
At the suffering of his actions created, at the fragmented memories of his past that quaked his boots.
Like the child that he had long forgotten himself to be, he too, was as oblivious to the world as he was once before.
But everything now made sense.
He could not put what he understood in words, but in many ways, he truly understood how the world was.
The world was chaotic, yet, amongst the chaos, there is a pattern, a method to the madness that lingers within. The future is predictable, yet, it is constantly shifting.
Only he was immutable in the midst of all of this.
For only he himself was the constant against all that he expereinced.
In a quick motion, he fell down to one of his knees, before the hologram of the two Elder Dragons.
He raised an arms before his chest as though he were a vagabond who had finally found the hearth of his true self, the destination for his long journey.
He knew Kharston and Synthia had approved of him, he knew that voicing out his appreciation for what their help to understand all that is about himself would amount to empty gestures.
And so, he did what he could to show them his respects, not as man to dragon, not as underling to superior.
But as John himself.
As John who had naught for a home, John who had naught for his life purpose, John who was a nobody, John who simply wished to give his gratitude to the two Elder Dragons before him.
To declare the newfound solace that he now had in him.
“My life will be accordance to how I see fit. You two need not to worry for me, or Ephinelyth. What is to come, shall come, and what needs to be done, shall be done.”
Synthia and Kharston nodded their head kindly at John’s words, marking the end of the hologram recording.