Thaddeus’s eyes bulged as I appeared in the room. Bradford turned and stepped out of his chair far faster than I’d anticipated. It wasn’t a stretch to assume that the man had his share of fighting experience. Bradford’s hand whipped toward the rapier on his thigh, but I made a calming gesture with my hands. Selene joined me, and Bradford's eyes flitted over to the badge on her cloak. He relaxed a little and crossed his arms.
“And who is this, Thaddeus?”
“Caleb, Overseer of Garmont Companion Farm,” I said. “I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced, Officer Bradford.”
“Garmont? That’s Jamin’s territory, lad, not yours.”
“I’m his nephew,” I explained. “Jamin is on a pilgrimage to the mountains. He left me in charge of the farm in his absence. You know how slowly word travels around the Northern Realms.”
Bradford’s mouth twisted into a wry smile. “Is there any particular reason I should hear you out? I believe you’ve just intruded on a private conversation and Commission business.”
“Thaddeus de Monar and I are business partners,” I said. “So you’ll excuse me for interrupting, but I believe I can assist in clearing up some of the rumors about the Emerald Sage and his work on this farm.”
Thaddeus stared at me in horror as Bradford frowned. Bradford considered the thought for a moment and then gestured at the empty chairs beside him. I made a show of pulling out a chair for Selene and gave her a subtle wink. A haughty expression hardened the warlock’s face as she settled imperiously down into the chair and crossed her legs.
“I doubt the timing of your appearance is a coincidence,” Bradford said as he returned to his seat and narrowed his eyes at me. “This has to do with the rumors of illegal homunculi, does it not? Are you involved, lad?”
I knew the best way to lie was to tell someone most of the truth, but not all of it. I smirked at Thaddeus and turned to Selene. She met my eyes with a flicker of small apprehension.
“Permission to speak freely, my lady?” I asked her.
She inclined her head.
I kept my lazy smile as I returned my attention to Bradford. “It has everything to do with these rumors, Officer Bradford. The Emerald Sage and I have been working on a secret project for the King outside of the bounds of Commission-regulated homunculi.”
Bradford stared at me in astonishment.
“Long may he reign,” I supplied.
“Long may he reign!” echoed Thaddeus as he took another draw of his pipe.
“Health and long life to him,” Selene agreed.
Bradford echoed our sentiments. A subtle look of relief flushed over his features and curiosity settled into his expression as he leaned back into his chair and took a sip of tea. I spread my hands across the table as I continued to weave my lie into Bradford’s mind.
“The Royal Viceroy doesn’t trust the new additions to the Companion Division,” I explained. “He came to Thaddeus directly and charged him with a secret mission. To create a sentient clone of the King himself and transfer our beloved ruler’s consciousness across to it. To achieve this would ensure a longer life span and freedom from maladies of the flesh.”
Bradford gaped at me. “That’s impossible.”
“With magic and alchemy, anything is possible,” I said. “We simply require the correct ingredients and blanket of secrecy with which to achieve our mission.” I turned to Selene. “Which is where our own private overseer comes into play.”
The warlock snorted dismissively. “You talk too much, peasant.”
I bit back a grin. “Lady Selene is posing as the Chief Director of Western Companion Production, Officer. But her true authority runs much deeper. She has the ear of the Viceroy himself, and has charged us with this mission.”
Bradford’s frown deepened as he cast his gaze over the three of us. He shifted in his seat as he took another pull at his tankard and considered my blatant falsehood.
“I’ve met the Western Director,” Bradford said finally. “And was an older man, certainly not a woman who looks like a Commission Mage. Forgive me if I find your tale somewhat unbelievable.”
“This is a highly-sensitive and delicate operation,” snapped Selene. “Tell me, Officer. When was the last time you saw the Director of the Western Realms? Or even held his attention for longer than thirty seconds?”
Bradford flinched as if Selene had just slapped him.
But Selene wasn’t done. “You should remember your place, Officer Bradford. You are no more than a local and barely competent Commission enforcer. The reason the Viceroy chose this place was precisely because of people like you. We could trust that the operation would remain secret.”
I watched Bradford closely. The man hadn’t expected to have his professional manner attacked in such a heavy-handed fashion. The lie was taking hold in his mind. Selene’s acting was perfect, and now Bradford was on the back foot.
Now it was time to win his loyalty with a little sympathy.
“My Lady, please,” I interjected. “The officer here is understaffed, underpaid, and does the best with what he has, I’m sure. Not all of us out here have the resources required to carry out the Kingdom’s wishes to their fullest extent.”
Relief flooded over Bradford’s face and he shot me a grateful look. “You’ll have to forgive my doubt, Lady Selene, but it is exactly as he says. I’m barely contacted by my superiors in the area, let alone the Directors of the Realms. I apologize if I gave any offense.”
Selene sneered at him. “You would do well to remember the seriousness of the mission, Officer. We’ve had several liaisons with other agencies throughout the Kingdom, and many of them didn’t have the sense to heed my word.” A cruel smirk flitted over the warlock’s face. “Need I tell you their fate?”
Bradford paled and shook his head. “No, my Lady, of course not.”
The cold threat hung in the air for a long few seconds and I took the opportunity to scan the table again. Thaddeus puffed rapidly at his pipe to my left. He couldn’t believe what was happening, but as long as he stayed quiet, I could cement my plan in place and win over Bradford. Thaddeus was a terrible liar, and a worse actor. But he had the brains enough to realize it, at least. And I couldn’t have asked for a better conspirator than Selene.
I decided to break the ice.
“Officer, Lady Selene has ordered us to act in absolute secrecy as long as possible. Unfortunately, the nature of our work can often have rather strange side-effects, such as the one that the farmer’s wives speak of. The Viceroy, however, understands the nature of our work and has a contingency plan.”
Bradford straightened in his chair. “And that is?”
“Reaching out to our local authorities,” I replied. “Just as we are doing at this very table. And, to put it politely, reward them for loyalty to the Crown by assisting us in our work.”
Bradford inhaled sharply. “What kind of assistance?”
“It mostly consists of maintaining the secret, of course,” I said smoothly. “But a consistent supply of Essence to Garmont and a list of ingredients I give you would make the process all the more simple for us. You’ll be well compensated for your trouble, Officer.”
Bradford stared at me with a mixture of ecstatic joy and relief.
“It would be an honor to assist you in such an endeavor. All of you,” he said hastily.
I winked at him. “My Lady, would it be too much trouble to put in a good word for Officer Bradford? For his troubles in assisting us?”
Selene regarded Bradford with a wintry expression. “After the work is done, and he has proven himself capable and competent? I will consider it.”
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Bradford bowed his head to her. “I would be honored, my Lady, to serve to the best of my ability. Is there anything I can do to help you at this moment?”
My mind raced to the matters at hand, and lingered on the Duelists outside.
“I’d say you’ve already helped us more than most,” I said. “Those Duelist homunculi are of an excellent make. Could you provide the Lady with a bodyguard of them at your earliest convenience? Travel in the Northern Realms for someone of her station is a dangerous proposition.”
Selene stared at me for a moment and then smiled. “Surely you’ve enough manpower to spare them now, Officer?”
“Of course,” Bradford said without hesitation. “I’ll leave them with you.”
“You’ll need to ensure they’re not missed,” Selene told him flatly. “Order more of them as soon as you can, and mention nothing of my presence. Simply say you lost them to vagabond adventurers as you passed a dungeon. It’s a common enough occurence in these parts.”
Bradford paused. “Are you sure it wouldn’t be easier to simply mention your name-?”
Selene pinned him with an icy glare. “Have you heard anything the peasant said?”
“Of course I have, I’m simply trying to help-”
“My name is not mentioned. Our purpose is not mentioned.” Selene’s glare softened and a vicious smirk slashed across her lips. “You have a family, do you not? Three children, and a wife full with your eighth attempted child?”
“My Lady, I simply want to help,” Bradford choked.
“Then do as you’re instructed, Officer,” the warlock said coldly. “The Kingdom is not beneath making examples to its other agents, Bradford. You will not be the first. And should your tongue slip? You will not be the last.”
The air in the room stilled in a pained silence.
“Of course. I’ll leave the homunculi behind, and report them destroyed,” Bradford whispered. “Is there anything else I can do to serve his Majesty’s mission?”
“Lady Selene,” I cut in, “could I request that Officer Bradford personally oversee the deliveries of Essence to Garmont Farm? And the continued routine visits to both my property and that of our Emerald Sage?”
Selene nodded crisply. “That would be more efficient, yes.”
“Changing the rosters without suspicion will be nigh impossible without attracting attention,” Bradford protested in a small voice. “I don’t have the authority required.”
“Grease a few palms,” I suggested with a warm smile. “Thaddeus, offer the man some coin for his trouble.”
He made a show of scowling and stood up. His face appeared from the haze of smoke and a glint of amusement shone through his eyes as he called out to his homunculi. One of the maids scuttled into the room and bowed deeply to Thaddeus. He leaaned over, whispered in her ear, and then sent her out of the room. We waited for a moment until the housemaid returned with a large purse.
The money clinked as the maid set it down before Bradford and offered him a smile with razor-pointed teeth. He nodded uneasily, pulled the drawstring tightly around the mouth of the hefty payment, and hung it from his belt. Bradford stood, and I rose to show him out. Selene winked at me and a manic grin split Thaddeus’s face as I led Bradford back toward the front door.
“We’re grateful for your help,” I told him.
Bradford exhaled sharply. “It’s so much to take in. And right under my nose, this whole time?”
“Don’t think about it too hard, my friend,” I said. “Carry on as usual and don’t draw attention, and you’ll be well-compensated by the crown for your efforts. I was surprised myself when they brought this to my door, trust me.”
I held the front door open for Bradford. He worked his jaw as he touched the sack of coins. It was a difficult lie to swallow, I knew. The man would have his suspicions, and he was justified in them. But the force of Selene’s personality and the promise of coin would keep him invested, and that was all I needed.
If worst came to worst, I’d find a way to dispose of Bradford later.
The bookkeepers scrambled to their feet as Bradford approached.
“Back on the horses,” Bradford said shortly. “Everything’s clear. The old coot kept me talking longer than I would’ve liked.”
I watched the scholars open the gate and untie their steeds from the fence. Thaddeus had kept his word, since there was no sign of his dead homunculus near the gate. The brawny Officer turned to me and slapped my shoulder with a heavy hand.
“You’ve done right by me, Caleb. I’ll be sure to do the same.”
“It’s been a pleasure, Officer,” I replied with a grin. “Can you bring the delivery through in the next few days? I’ll need them every week, if it’s not too much trouble.”
“Shouldn’t be. Long live the King.”
“Long live the King,” I replied. “Gods speed your journey.”
I shut the gate behind Bradford and watched him mount his horse. The scholars cast their eyes over me with interest, but I ignored their gaze and offered their leader a grin. The Commission horses turned at a word from their leader, and cantered down the road until their gold-and-teal uniforms vanished into a cloud of dust.
I let a pent-up breath hiss out of my teeth and turned to examine my new spoils.
They really were exceptional homunculi, brimful of energy and well-armed.
I reached out with my mind and found theirs. Their observations tumbled through their thoughts like flashes of lightning in a storm. Years of disciplined bladecraft charged their entire being, and a triumphant grin split my face as I turned toward the garden.
“Alexia!” I called. “It’s clear.”
She appeared from behind a gorequince tree and huffed a sigh. “You took your time.”
“My scheme paid off,” I said. “We now have a Commission Officer in our pocket.”
“And he gave you these?”Alexia gasped as she stared at the Duelists.
“Sure did. Come on, we should meet the others inside.”
Join the others in the stable, I told my new companions. Stay out of sight and rest.
We joined Thaddeus and Selene in his parlor a minute later. The homunculi housemaids bustled around the table and set out four goblets and an enormous cask of rich wine. Thaddeus scrambled around the table and slapped my back heartily as I took up a goblet.
“You, boy, are an absolute fucking genius!” Thaddeus exclaimed. “How in every hell there is did you manage to come up with that and pull my wrinkled ass out of the fire? Even your uncle couldn’t have pulled that off.”
I shrugged. “I told him most of the truth, and let him figure the rest out on his own. Give someone an antagonist force, a threat, and then an easy way out? They’ll take it.”
Thaddeus shook with laughter. “Gods, the look on his face. I’ll not forget it. Maids! Bring out everything expensive in the pantry! My esteemed guests feast with me tonight!”
I left him to his antics and joined Selene at the table.
“Lady Selene?” the warlock asked with a grin.
“Well, you come off as a bit of princess,” I teased. “It was the easiest way to convince him. And I’m proud of you. I didn’t think you’d be able to pull that off after your little episode in the tunnels.”
Selene sipped her wine and eyed me appreciatively. “If you want me to impersonate a Kingdom official every time Bradford arrives at your farm, you’ll need to pay me more.”
I raised an eyebrow. “The money will come, don’t you worry about that.”
“I’m not talking about money,” Selene murmured.
She leaned in and her hand touched my knee softly. I drained half a goblet of wine, set it down, and then brushed her cheek with my fingers. Selene’s breath tickled my cheek as I leaned in to whisper to her.
“After that little performance,” I said in an undertone, “I might just consider your proposition.”
I kissed her. My head spun as I drowned in the taste of wine, sweet herbs, and a strong flavor that was the warlock’s own taste. Selene moaned at the contact and her fingers closed around the front of my tunic to pull me deeper. I pushed at her generous chest, broke the kiss, and tried not to notice the lustful smolder in her eyes. She relented after a moment, pursed her lips, and flashed me a sensuous smile.
“Later, then,” Selene murmured.
“Boy, I’m still struggling to believe you pulled this off!” Thaddeus called from the head of the table. “Fuck me with a barrel of spears, but this is stupendous!”
He puffed happily at his pipe of clover and sprang onto the table. Thaddeus’s unfocused eyes scanned the room for a moment while he found his bearings. I stood as he staggered across his little platform and towered over me in a cloud of manic energy and hallucinogenic smoke.
“I don’t suppose you’ll give me the recipes I asked for in exchange?” I asked.
Thaddeus snorted. “I’ll give you one. It’s not exactly what you want, but it’ll help. Take a lock of hair, an apron, and a spiceapple.”
I repeated the recipe under my breath for a moment to memorise it. “Let me guess. It’s your housemaid recipe.”
“I imagine that old manor doesn’t get too much of a dusting these days,” Thaddeus cackled. “Jamin was never one for cleaning, and I doubt he left you any servants to help. He’s a lazy bastard, that old snake.”
“Do you have anything else?” I asked him quietly.
He heard the seriousness in my voice and coughed. “No.”
“It’s occurred to me I could search your house,” I said calmly.
“You won’t find them,” Thaddeus replied cheerily. “I’ve them under lock and key, and before you threaten to torture me and force me to tell you where they are, it’s not a good idea, boy. Between the cloves and my memory, you won’t get anything out of me that I don’t want you to.”
I chuckled. “Just a thought. The dungeon sounds like an easier prospect.”
“When are we going?” Alexia piped up from the table excitedly.
“Not tonight!” Thaddeus roared. “Tonight we celebrate! We triumph in our victory over the common bureaucrat and his fascination with my old cock in the moonlight! We drink to the abolishment of farmer’s wives and their gossip! And we drink for Caleb, the conniving little bastard who just thrust us neck deep into the shit with him!”
Selene raised her goblet. “Hear, hear.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Thaddeus was right.
I was about due a victory celebration.
After we’d all had our fill and far too much wine, Thaddeus led us to guestrooms. I spent the night with Alexia, but I couldn’t help thinking about Selene and how much she’d helped my mission today. She’d made her interest plain, so I’d reward her when the time came.
After a well-earned night’s sleep, we gathered our things and set off for Garmont Farm. I had a lot of preparations to make for the Eldritch Dungeon. I knew almost nothing about them, but I was sure Jamin had left some texts lying around the manor.
If I wanted to stand a chance against Longhorn, I’d need to take on a threat that every guild in the Northern Realms wouldn’t touch.
Something no adventurer had managed to do for centuries.