[[ NINE ]]
It's about 1 AM when I hit the bed. I can't remember if I dreamt or not, but I'm awoken by my alarm the next morning. It's 6 AM. I feel like garbage, purely exhausted. I flop myself upwards in an effort to sit up and get my bearings, but damn dude, I'm just too tired. I let my mind wander in my half-asleep stupor, floating from yesterday's missions to the appearance of the main story's Commander, to where I fit in it all. Soon enough, though, my brain catches on a snag.
I have a briefing to do soon.
Right, work as usual.
What a strange feeling, having a consistent job...
"Ugh..." I groan, rolling out of bed with a fine 'plop' on the ground as I fail to get my footing and fall to the floor. I pick myself up and trudge to the bathroom, turning on the tap and splashing water on my face. I've got a five o'clock shadow at this point. Facial hair grows kinda fast -- do they have automatic shaving machines in this universe? I look around for anything of the sort and come only across a regular razor and some shaving cream. I stare at my findings before tossing them into the sink.
"This is dumb," I mutter. I'll need to look into a barber or something to do it for me, because I know I'm nowhere near able to shave my own face. I'll have to look a bit unkempt for now, I guess.
I get dressed in my usual uniform. It only takes a little bit for me to get fully ready, and unlike my previous life, I don't have any medication to hold me up. Antidepressants, anti-anxiety medicine, mood stabilizers... I had the works. It's kind of nice to be able to not need those things now. At least, I don't think I need them anymore. Chemically, I feel a lot more stable as this man than I did as a woman. I don't know the logistics, but I'm happier despite what I've got going against me.
With a deep breath, I open the door and walk out into the main room. I've got a briefing, then the mission to resume...
I rummage through the cabinets in the kitchenette to look for breakfast, but find nothing appealing. I decide now's a decent time to go to the corner store that always seems open. I need to grocery shop, but that's definitely a later thing. I grab my phone and the uniform coat and head out.
I reach the corner store with little issue. The clerk is a cute girl, but I can't tell if she's a NIKKE or not. She's wearing a mask and a visor hat, and her outfit is the store's uniform; a polo shirt and black slacks. Her hair is a unique pink color, and it reminds me vaguely of Pai Die. I shake the memory from my mind though, finding it rather disturbing to think of Pai Die after what happened to her...
Anyway, I grab the basics, a salmon nutrimin rice ball and a can of coffee and cream. I approach the register, and the girl promptly rings me up.
"Anything else?"
I can't think of anything, so I shake my head. I'm grateful the body I jumped into wasn't a smoker. She finishes up by shoving my goods in a bag, and presenting the total.
"1,100 credits."
It really is kind of like yen here. I swipe my card and take my things, the receipt digitally sent to my phone. I tear into the rice ball pretty quickly; I didn't eat much yesterday, and I honestly love rice. It has that same Splendamin-y plastic sensation to it, but the palate I have is used to it and pushes it out of mind pretty quickly, leaving the deliciousness of a salmon rice ball to wake me up. I crack open the can of coffee and down it rather quickly, not ruminating on its taste like I did with the rice ball. It's smooth enough with the cream involved, and it goes down without a problem. It's placebo, sure, but I'm already feeling more awake.
I'm sure it's pretty irrelevant by now, but I still haven't fully gotten used to being in a different body. It's like nothing's really changed, but I'm someone else entirely. I can't lie about who I am, though, so it's as though I've become a new person that's a combination of who this guy was before and who I am in general. It's kind of confusing.
I toss the empty can of coffee and the rice ball wrapper into a bin and make headway to my office. It's a sleepy hour in the Ark; the only souls I see passing me by are other uniform-clad NIKKE commanders. They pay me no mind, and I do the same to them, though it is interesting to see commanders other than myself or the main story Commander. I reach my office, which I should note is on the fifth floor of some high-rise building near Royal Road. I can actually look out the window and catch a glimpse of the popular shopping district, but it's far enough to where it's still a trek to get there. My NIKKE squad is lined up as always.
I make my way to my desk.
"At ease," I issue to them, and they relax their postures to a more casual stance. I prefer it that way. I don't waste any time, slipping into my seat and pulling up the computer terminal's floating screen. Before me is a form to fill out for the missions we still haven't completed. "Getting right to it, we've got to discuss the missions we dropped yesterday. I was thinking about it, and I think you guys are capable of going on the excursion without me -- honestly I'm more of a hindrance being there than if it were just you guys calling the shots without a human to protect. Is that something you'd all be willing to do?"
The girls seem impressed.
"I think we can handle these reconnaissance missions without you, yes," Lysanne said rather carefully. "But you usually tag along. Are you sure you don't want to come?"
"Yesterday made me realize how capable you all are without my input, considering I barely had any."
"That may be so, but..."
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
Their uneasiness is easy to understand, but I know they won't be unable to do these missions without me. At first, I felt like I had to go, but now I have the impression that simple missions don't need a flesh bag like me to play target practice with the raptures. I remember in the game, there were plenty of occasions where NIKKEs went up to the surface without their commander for short excursions. Namely, the bulletin board's dispatch missions. In these cases, Shifty would provide them with support, and I'm more than certain Koda would do the same for my NIKKEs here. Speaking of, I make a direct call to Koda's account in the Ark network. Her video feed pops up in a tertiary floating screen.
["This is Koda from Central Government Intelligence Agency. Commander, good morning. To what do I owe the pleasure?"]
"I was wondering if you would be willing to support my girls on their mission today. I'll be staying underground."
["Huuuuh...? You're skipping out?"] She sounds suspicious, like I'm trying to play hooky.
"Yeah. I need to run some therapy with Clear, so it's not like I'm taking a day off or anything."
Koda's video feed shows her leaning into the screen with a rather dubious expression, but she lets off a sigh and leans back, unable to discern if I'm still bullshitting like the day before.
["Yeah, I've got your girls' backs."]
"Thanks," I say simply. "You'll be in touch with them when they reach the surface. Until then."
I cut the feed, and Koda's face disappears from the floating screen. I honestly don't feel confident talking to her for a prolonged period of time, so I'm happy to cut the feed as abruptly as I did, even if it probably further ruined my reputation with the woman. The girls seem ready to depart.
"My only orders are to do what you think is best and to get along. Think you lot can do that?"
I'm met with a row of nodding NIKKEs. I nod back.
"With that, you're all dismissed. Go do what you need to do to get ready and be on the surface at eight."
"""""Yes, sir.""""
They leave shortly after. I'm left alone in my office with Clear, who had been sitting quietly since before I arrived. We exchange a look, and he's the one to break the silence.
"Commander, are you sure a session with me is necessary?"
"It beats playing target practice with Raptures. Besides, I would have to say working with you is in my interest right now."
"... Understood."
He looks down at his lap. The wheels on his chair whir as he scoots over to the desk. I pull up some paperwork on the computer reporting on his status, one my body had filled out before getting invaded on New Year's. I skim over it -- it's not anything I don't already know, but this is a good review.
> Name: Clear
>
> Manufacturer: Unknown
>
> Rank: Unknown
>
> History: Found in an alleyway on April 17th, disabled from the waist down. Was rushed into Medical Ward and checked for a citizenship chip, presumed to be from Outer Rim until NIKKE subordinates Mary and Pepper reported finding no vitals on him similar to a human's, and upon investigation was discovered to be the first male NIKKE in recent history. Subject reports no memory of previous engagements. Physical therapy so far with no yields.
There's more to the report, but I decide to look through that later. I swipe the screen away and it vanishes into holographic pixel dust.
"Let's start with how you're feeling, then."
I always kind of wanted to be a mental health professional. No doubt I'm going to be doing it all wrong, but I have to follow my gut at least if I want to make an impact at all here. Can't go just phoning it in. Let's be thorough.
"I feel fine," Clear reports.
"So you're feeling pretty neutral?" I say.
"Nothing out of line," he replies.
"We just don't have a 'before' to compare your normal to... So as far as we can glean, you're feeling fine. Not unstable at all."
"... No," he says somewhat tensely, and I look up from my screen.
"The report says you have no memories. Is that true?"
He's silent for some time. I let the silence hang for as long as it has to.
"I have memories."
"What the heck? Why didn't you say so sooner?"
"... They're not... the best quality."
"What do you mean by that?"
"It's hard to describe, so I never did."
"Why?" I say, and I'm dumbfounded. Clear actually has memories? That's huge. I'd gone this whole time thinking we were dealing with a full amnesia set.
"Why what?"
"Why did you decide not to tell anyone?"
"... Nobody I talked to cared for the right reason. They all were trying to study how a male NIKKE was made without the Central Government's knowledge, and based on what I remember, which... isn't a lot, I felt telling them would only make things more complicated."
I breathe a slow, narrow breath. "... I mean, that's... I get that. What do you remember?"
"Nothing from recent history. It's all things from the First Rapture Invasion."
"The First Rapture Invasion..." I trail off, collecting my knowledge of the timeline event. Prior to the main story's current timeline was an event known as the First Rapture Invasion. The most relevant memories have to do with the Goddess Squad, a squadron of early NIKKEs that modern day NIKKEs pale in comparison to. There were the Grimms models, Liliweiss -- the first NIKKE, and Scarlet, who was part of a limited run of melee NIKKEs. Nearly all of them survive to this day, but with limited memories. Nearly all of them retained memories from the First Rapture Invasion. This confirms to me not that Clear is a Goddess Squad member, but a Mies squad member from the same era. If there were runs of melee NIKKEs, there certainly could have been runs of male NIKKEs. Mies isn't mentioned anywhere in the game itself, but I'm rather certain I'm dealing with a Pilgrim model at least, which is an umbrella for any model outside of the Big Three. I consider revising the report to include what I know.
I eventually wind up not adding anything after a few taps. Namely, I don't list 'Pilgrim' as the manufacturer. It's not an official term in the Central Government, and I'm certain mentioning it will put me under investigation if the document is read by anybody else. Especially someone like Chief Deputy Andersen, who in the story seemed to know a thing or two about Pilgrims. He also later runs the Pilgrim Tower, an exclusive training ground that is run by him for the main story's Commander once he gets himself in contact with the Pilgrim NIKKEs. Bottom line is I don't want to get mixed up with more canon cast.
"... What do you remember?"
I hear him clear his throat. He mulls over what to say first, then speaks up.
"I'll tell you, considering you're not like everyone else."
"I'm listening."
Was I really about to get somewhere the others couldn't just by being from another world?
[[ CHAPTER 16 END ]]