The first game of the “selection match” began but, unfortunately, Gregory didn't get to collect much data on Roi's Dark Knight. He reviewed the info he dumped into Classmancer Analyst but there wasn’t anything that stood out. Maybe there were some good statistics buried deeper in the report, but there was no time to dig them up.
In some games, Roi stomped the other team and went 10/0, while in other games he didn't achieve anything of note. Extreme highs and lows, pretty standard distribution for unreliable trash like Dark Knight. This edgy boi was always either hella oppressive or a useless nobody.
Whatever. I'll figure it out on the go. Gregory played enough Dark Knight in his earlier days, so he knew the gist of it. There was no way he'd lose to some cheap noob stomper class. Gregory was stronger than that, dammit!
Following the standard game opening, Gregory headed to the Wraith Camp together with Gilbert. While Gregory aggro'd the wraiths and took their attacks in the face, Gilbert blasted them away with Eldritch Blast.
Man, this feels like slavery. Gregory made a face. As a Support player, he was kinda used to being a meat shield for others. However, Gregory wasn’t Gilbert’s Support. Heck, he wasn’t a Support at all this game, he was a Solo Laner, dang it. Gregory was supposed to be his own boss.
Of course, Gregory understood this was an efficient opening. Minions just spawned and hadn't reached the lane yet, so players had a short window of time to farm in the jungle. Gregory actually supported the idea of farming as much as possible to gain an advantage. Over-grinding for the win! That’s how he beat bosses in every RPG.
Nevertheless, this opening has been irking Gregory this entire week. It's like the Solo Laner was slaving away for the Mid Laner without getting anything in return. Gregory and Gilbert shared the exp from the camp, but according to the meta the blue buff had to go to Gilbert. Gregory wasn’t gonna get shit.
Yeah, yeah, Mid was the most important lane. Yeah, mages needed CD and MP5 more than bruisers. Yada yada yada. Bleh.
I’m the one tanking this shit, so at least gimme something in return. Gregory grumped. It's just one of these things he had to accept as part of being a Solo Laner. No matter how many times he followed this routine, it never became any easier to digest.
Like, his fam Knight could also use some CD and MP5, ya know? After all, Gregory gonna go toe-to-toe with Roi, a starter from the first string. Shit ain't gonna be easy. Of course, Gregory was gonna trash that edgy boi, but he wouldn't mind getting some buffs to make the job easier.
“Hey,” Gregory started. “Gil, my man. You don't mind if I take the buff, right?”
“Excuse me?” Gilbert raised an eyebrow as if Gregory just said something in Chinese.
“C'mon, man. You're already a starter and you're paired against July. It should be a walk in the park for ya, right?”
“Yes, it should be easy enough.”
“Right? Right?”
“As long as I have the blue buff, of course.”
“Kek, bastard.” Gregory sneered. His hopes and dreams were shot down as soon as they formed. Welp, at least he tried.
They finished the Wraith Camp and Gilbert claimed the blue buff. Gregory was tempted to steal it just to spite but decided against it. Poking Gilbert for lulz was one thing, but getting on Howard's bad side was more trouble than this buff was worth.
Meh, whatever. Who even needs a buff against DK. Gregory parted ways with Gilbert and headed to Solo Lane.
Along the way, he passed by the Wolf Camp. It was tucked away right beside the lane, inviting Gregory to farm it. Alas, he couldn't do it because he spent all his cash on Iron Boots and HP Potions for surviving Dark Knight's onslaught. As a result, he didn’t have enough damage to efficiently clear these wolves.
Of course, Gregory COULD clear the camp if he really wanted. He wasn't some weakling who'd get pwned by scrubby wolves. However, dealing with them would take too long without any power items in his build, so in the meantime, he'd miss on farm from the lane.
What a waste. Gilbert usually built power and went straight for the Wolf Camp without thinking twice, but here he had to respect Dark Knight's early-game damage. That shit was scary when you didn’t build any defense, so the Iron Boots and HP Potions were necessary for Gregory to avoid getting instantly cucked.
Soon after Gregory reached the lane, Roi appeared too. And, somehow, that mofo was already at Lv.2.
Shit, he did the wolves. Gregory clicked his tongue. He also could have been at Lv.2 right now if he cleared the wolves. Shit. The game just started and he was already out-leveled.
He finished the camp hella fast too. Gregory knotted his brows. Roi built Samurai Tabi, the most offensive shoes in term of raw power. Combined with Dark Knight’s naturally high damage, it’s not surprising Roi cleared two camps in the time it took Gregory to clear one.
Dammit, just you wait. I’ll get the advantage back before you realize! First, Gregory will farm up while keeping himself alive. Eventually, he’ll outlast Roi's Dark Knight on the lane and will get an opportunity to push ahead. After all, Dark Knight was a suicidal edgy boi.
“Oh shi-” A dark wave sliced through Gregory! The black slash passed through all the minions on the frontline and then hit Gregory too, deleting 20% of his HP! Aggressive ahoy!
So, it began. This was the overpowered attack which hit like a truck was the Dark Knight's spam skill: Dark Blast. Just a few hits from that shit and Gregory will be a goner. He immediately spent two HP potions to compensate for the damage. They will slowly, but surely, restore all the HP he lost.
“Respect his Dark Blast,” Howard lectured. “You're hanging too close around the minions. Roi won’t hesitate to aim at you instead of the bowmen if you give him the chance.”
“Yeah, I kinda realized already,” Gregory grunted. Dark Blast was a great wave clear, on par with the stuff mage usually had. The black slash traveled through the air in a line and dealt a shit ton of damage. Basically, it was everything one could ask from a wave clearing ability. One hit from that bad boy was enough to bring an entire minion wave to the brink of death, at least in the early game.
But, back there, Roi opted for hitting Gregory instead. He fired Dark Blast through the swordsmen on the frontline and then the attack flew toward Gregory instead aiming at the bowmen. Needless to say, Gregory didn't expect this level of aggressiveness right from the get-go.
This guy doesn't get the true fun of DK. Gregory shook his head. Wiping out the enemy's entire minion wave and leaving them alone against a gang, THAT’S where the real fun was at. Not killing the bowmen was such a wasted opportunity.
Well, whatever. This warning shot made it clear Roi won’t always prioritize clearing minions first. So, Gregory will have to be a little more careful about his positioning.
Just you wait. I'll make your life hell. Gregory smirked. Once he hit Lv.2, he spent 1 SP on Honorable Duel. This gonna be topkek.
As the next minion wave was about to arrive, Gregory advanced on his own. He reached the enemy minions first and taunted the swordsmen with Honorable Duel, then turned around and ran away. Kek, take that!
Gregory led the enemy minions away and broke their usual formation. In response, Gregory's minions responded to the new enemy positions and broke their formation as well. As a result, the whole lane became a mess! The minions were scattered around like a bunch of unruly brats.
How about that? Salty? Gregory smirked. Dark Blast was a hax OP skill no doubt, but it traveled in a straight line. It must have been designed to hit an entire minion wave because these idiots always conveniently lined up in one column, just asking to be shot.
But, what happens when the minions are forced to break formation? Boy, that's where the fun began. With the minions scattered around, Dark Blast couldn't possibly hit all of them in one shot. This was the topkek counter to Dark Knight's bullshit!
He must be hella mad. Gregory amused himself with the image of Roi's annoyed expression. Gregory had played enough Dark Knight to know these situations felt like shit. There's nothing more annoying than stupid minions not lining up to be slaughtered like proper sheep. That always killed half the fun of playing Dark Knight-
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“Again!?” Another Dark Blast smacked Gregory! What the actual fuck!? Roi didn't even wait for the minions to slow down! Dude had no chill.
That shithead is out for blood. Damn, son. Gregory tapped his foot. This was some clown fiesta Dark Knight gameplay. Roi didn't give a single fuck about the minions and fired straight at Gregory.
Was that some sort of special playstyle Roi developed? Or, maybe that’s how Dark Knight was played on higher levels of play? Honestly, Gregory had no damn idea. He ditched that trash tier class ages ago, so he didn't bother researching it much. High tier classes were the only thing that mattered in this game.
Okay, this is starting to get a little annoying. Gregory has already spent all his potions and was still hanging at 70% HP. These Dark Blasts raped his HP bar.
But hey, Roi was even worse off. The guy only had 50% HP because Gregory's minions retaliated against him every time he hit Gregory. These little mofos took revenge for their beloved boss! So touching, kek.
But, the main reason Roi had low HP was due to Dark Blast. On top of costing MP, it also cost 5% of the user's HP, not exactly fun. With great power comes great responsibility, kek.
Between aggro-ing Gregory's minions and spending HP on Dark Blasts, Roi was quickly burning himself out. Not to mention, the Dark Blasts didn't even hit Gregory’s entire minion wave, which gave a Gregory a huge lane advantage. His minions had enhanced defense thanks to Chivalry, his passive, so when Roi chose to not wipe them out in one fell swoop - Gregory’s remaining forces were stronger than Roi’s. Ez lane advantage.
Good, good. At this rate, that scrub gonna burn himself out. Gregory smirked. Despite the few hiccups earlier, things were proceeding smoothly. With every Dark Blast which Roi fired, it was actually Gregory who was getting closer to winning the lane.
But still, I wanna taunt these minions. How do I go about it without getting rekt? Gregory pondered. Advancing to the frontline was dangerous because he might eat another Dark Blast to the face.
Nevertheless, he really wanted to pull this off somehow. Scattered minions were like the most annoying thing ever for a Dark Knight. That shit triggered Gregory all the time back when he played Dark Knight, so Roi should feel the same salt!
Eventually, Gregory figured it out. Yes, it was the ultimate plan! Da best plan! Flawless and genius, as expected from somebody of Gregory's caliber.
He advanced to the frontline and activated Honorable Duel. Same as before, right? WRONG! Surprise, mothafucka! Right after activating the taunt, Gregory rolled away! That'll totally throw Roi off and-
“Shit!” Dark Blast struck him again! What the-!? Gregory was still in the middle of the roll! Damnmit! Did Roi misclick and fire his attack in the wrong direction? Like, there's no way Roi saw through Gregory's brilliant roll and adjusted in a split second, right? Nah, no way.
Welp, this was unfortunate. The HP gap between Gregory and Roi was almost entirely closed in that one hit. Gregory was now at 50%, whereas Roi at 45%. Gregory’s faithful minions will smack Roi's HP now, so everything was fine. Gregory still had the upper hand.
“Greg,” Howard called. “You should consider retreating.”
“Huh? Why? I'm winning here.”
“You're running low and you don't have any potions left. It's risky against a D-Knight.”
“Running low? My man, I'm at 50%. The heck you on about?”
“Yeah, half HP is usually fine, but, D-Knight is a different story. He takes about one-fifth of your HP in one hit, right?”
“Only with Dark Blast.”
“Keep in mind his ult too. Combined, that's already about 40%.”
“Hmm, I guess.” Gregory knotted his brows. He understood what Howard was saying, but he didn't like. It's as if Howard was already convinced that Roi will destroy Gregory at this rate. It's like Gregory was nothing but a punching bag who couldn't fight back. Am I a joke to you?
Like, hello? What about Roi being at 40%? That didn't mean anything? On top of that, Roi will have to spend 5% HP on Dark Blast and 10% more on Gate of Sheol if he wants to go all out, so his 40% HP was more like 25% right now. Roi was a walking dead, kek.
Seriously, everybody has been looking down on Gregory. Out of all the stupid nicknames Ellen invented from her sick mind, only “GG” became widespread and it's the stupidest of them all. It's like nobody took Gregory seriously as a player. Tch, he gonna show them...!
“Well,” Howard said. “If you feel confident about staying on lane, you can keep going.”
Thank you so much for giving me permission, my lord. Gregory sneered. Hah! Of course he felt confident about staying in lane; he had this shit in the bag. Ezpz.
The plan was simple: hit Lv.5 and wreck Roi's life. Once Gregory's ult, Noble Steed, becomes available, he'll have a convenient escape tool at hand. He'll finally be able to go all out on Roi's ass and then scram if shit hits the fan. Well, not that there was any chance anything would go wrong in Gregory’s masterful plan, but just in case.
After a few repeated failures, Gregory gave up on triggered Roi with Honorable Duel. There was no need to do that shit anyway because Gregory’s minions were stronger thanks to their buffed defense, so he dominated the lane by default without even lifting a finger.
Roi had to spend a Dark Blast on the minions to regain some lane control, but for some reason... he didn’t? Huh. Roi just hit minions with basics, apparently unconcerned by Gregory’s advantage. Did that guy forget about Knight's passive or something? So strong player, such first string. Topkek shenanigans.
Oh! This is a huge chance! Clearly, God sent me this opportunity to destroy Roi! Gregory couldn't stop himself from grinning. All the pieces were here. He hit Lv.5 and still had some minions remaining, unlike Roi who didn’t have shit. Gregory couldn't ask for a better stage! Shit was about to go down!
Gregory fearlessly dashed ahead of his minions. His goal? None other than Roi, the big boi himself!
As soon as Gregory got into range, he opened his assault with Shield Bash. He charged forward and slammed his shield at Roi! At least, that was the plan. Right before the shield rammed into the target - Roi vanished!
Damn! Where did he go!? Gregory scanned left and right, but no sign of Roi. The guy clearly dodge-rolled, but where to!? Gregory had to quickly figure this shit because this assault wasn't over yet...!
The same way Dark Knight had a broken ability in Dark Blast, Knight was broken too. It's top tier class, after all. After finishing Shield Bash, a skill that was already preeeeetty good on its own, the Knight readied his blade for an even stronger follow-up move: Blade Swing! Yeah, the name sounded kinda lame, but this bad boi was the shit.
So, Shield Bash being dodged wasn’t a big deal on its own. In fact, Gregory suspected Shield Bash might be dodged. That's right, everything was according to plan! Gregory's real attack was gonna begin with Blade Swing! And for that, he had to strike Roi right away.
But seriously, where did that mofo go? Gregory scanned both sides but found nothing. Roi rolled right before Gregory's attack connected, so it was hard to see the roll’s direction from the camera's limited third-person view. Dammit. Why can’t this be a MOBA with an RTS point of view?
This was so damn weird, it's like Roi disappeared from the face of the earth. He didn't roll left, right or away. He definitely wasn't up in the sky and of course not inside the ground either. Then, where!?
As if to answer, a black blade slashed Gregory... from behind!? What the-!? Roi somehow teleported behind Gregory! And he probably gonna claim it's nothing personal!
How the flying heck did Roi appear behind Gregory? It’s the mystery of the millennium! Okay, not really. Roi must’ve rolled toward Gregory while Gregory was charging forward with Shield Bash. In other words, Roi rolled underneath the shield assault! What a cucklord!
But, you made a great mistake revealing yourself to Gregory the Great! Gregory turned around to finally strike with... huh? Roi wasn't there? What the...
Another slash! Yet again, aimed at Gregory's back. Even though Gregory turned around, Roi was behind his back yet again!
Bitch, are you messing with me!? Gregory roared. That mofo must be sticking to Gregory's back like glue! Even turning around in place had some weight to it in Classmancers, so it wasn't as instantaneous as in many other games. Therefore, even though it should be hella hard to do, it was possible to keep stalking somebody’s back while they’re turning around.
At least, it was possible as long as the player didn't turn around at full speed. Gregory didn’t do that because he wanted to take a more careful aim for the upcoming Blade Swing, but no more! He gonna turn around like a supersonic fidget spinner! If he doesn’t attack soon, Blade Swing will cool off and won’t be accessible. So, he had to strike! Now!
Gregory spun around in full speed and thrust his blade as soon as he caught a glimpse of Roi. Like before, Roi tried to bullshit his way through his situation by sticking behind Gregory, but no luck! Cute trick, fam, but it won't work on Gregory the Great! Your ass is mine!
Blade Swing shot forward. Landing a hit not only gonna deal damage but will also buff Gregory's attack power. He’ll totally have this fight in the bag! Provided, if the attack actually connects. And, it didn't.
What the...? The blade cut through empty space. The attack lasted but a second, but it stretched to infinity in front of Gregory’s eyes. Roi was a little to the right, outside the sword's reach.
At that moment, Gregory realized he done fucked up. It’s not like he missed or anything. Blade Swing had a rather wide attack range, so there's no way a deadeye like Gregory would miss with from point-blank.
No, it was all Roi. Right before Gregory fired his attack, Roi sidestepped in the opposite direction. Roi stopped sticking to Gregory's back for just a moment and that was all it took for Gregory to turn too much to the left and miss.
Oh oh. Shit. Shit shit shit! Roi was still sitting on 40%, but Gregory was now hanging at 42%! When did that even happen!?
ALERT. DANGER. GET THE FUCK OUT. Alarms rang in Gregory's head. He messed up this attack! Or, more accurately, that scrub Roi was a little better than Gregory expected. Yeah, Roi was quite the beast in this fight, outplaying Gregory's flawless attacks like that.
Anyway, this was the right time to scram. Gregory booted his Noble Steed right away. Once he gets on the horse and rides away, he'll be untouchable! Ezpz retreat.
Except, the bully had no intention of letting Gregory slip away. Roi sliced through Gregory with Dark Blast, dealing the usual 30% damage... wait, 30%!? Wasn't Dark Blast around 20% until now!? Did Roi level it up? No, even with a level up, that's WAY too much damage! Gregory was playing Knight for God's sake, not some squishy class!
A-Anyway! Gregory finally got on his white steed, so that's it! He was safe! Dark Blast was on cooldown, so Dark Knight won't be able to give chase-
“Death to the feeble!” Errie words resounded throughout the area. Oh crap! Shit! Roi hit Lv.5, so he had access to Gate of Sheol! Fuuuuuuuu!
A large gate popped out of thin air. Forged from black metal and decorated with skulls, it was the manifestation of death itself. As the doors opened wide, a wraith emerged from inside and latched onto Gregory's back.
There was time to dodge. The wraith ripped out the Knight's soul as if plucking a leaf and dragged it back into the gate of doom. The Knight turned limp and slipped off his steed, then crashed straight into the ground.
『EXECUTED』
It was a delivery of death in its purest form. There was no damage dealt, just instant death. Gate of Sheol erased anybody whose HP fell below a certain threshold. It sucked in the weak souls without giving them any chance to fight back.
There it was, the anti-fun lane bully in all its glory. Between a blast with tremendous early-game damage and a freaking execution ult, Dark Knight was the kind of mofo nobody wanted to mess with.
And, that bastard just trampled all over Gregory. Damn it. Maybe he should have listened to Howard earlier and retreated...