The rules are these:

They had decided to have clear rules, with a violation on either side seen as an act of war. Or at least something that needed discussion.

One. An area will be partitioned off around the core, at the center of the dungeon. Delvers are not allowed in this area. Any attacks or harmful elements sent into this area will be considered a breach of this rule.

Celio nodded. They had all debated the rules, ad nauseum, but now was the official agreement. “We of the Scoop agree to the first dungeon stipulation.”

Two. Delvers are expected to pay a toll to enter the dungeon. Toll can be any item, offered on the shelf in front of the statue.

“Right, don’t forget to feed the altar.” Celio said, nodding again.

The shelf! It’s just a toll!

“I’ll always leave an offering!” Felix promised. He was not supposed to be there, technically, but once he was in the dungeon the other humans were too nervous to kick him out. The party was composed of all the adults from the Scoop, including the junior ‘Council’ members Clara and Acacias. Nova and Septimus had also come, sneaking in before the meeting with Felix.

Yes, thank you Felix. Clare was really growing fond of the boy and his lack of prejudice. He’d even called Confucious cute!

“Right,” Celio said, “We agree to the second stipulation of the dungeon.”

Clare sighed.

[Let’s just talk through Van Gogh.]

Well, Van Gogh perked up, Um, you took some liberties last time, hun. She explained to the faerie.

He huffed. [Artistic liberties. They were necessary—and true!]

I mean, yes, but it’s not suited to legal or diplomatic communication—

“And the third stipulation, ‘Dungeon servants must be treated with respect; fights may be as brutal as both parties agree to, but verbal abuse will not be tolerated,’ has also been agreed to.” Celio said, hiding his impatience behind a veneer formality.

[Listen here, you rude little—]

Clare cleared her throat loudly.

[Dad was going to swear] Astrid whispered loudly to Confucius, [You have to listen really well when they’re mad, otherwise you’ll never learn the fun words.]

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Clare flushed, Astrid!

“In return, the dungeon promises that encounters must be non-lethal for delvers. To clarify, attacks on the mind, soul, or other essential organs will be considered of lethal intent.”

[Yes, agreed.] Kepler was as done with the minutia-wrangling as Celio was, [I meant it when I said to mind your manners, though.]

“Noted.” Celio replied, “The second stipulation from the Scoop’s side is that Delvers must be allowed to leave. To clarify, blocking the exit or restraining delvers will be considered a breach of this rule.”

Agreed.

[Agreed.] Kepler said, almost simultaneously.

Celio nodded, “The final stipulation is that the dungeon will do its best to fulfill delver requests, within reason.”

Agreed.

[Not agreed.]

“Oh, come on, not this again!” Celio ran a hand through his hair.

“What?” Aurelia asked tensely.

“Kepler is complaining about the third stipulation again—I mean, look man, you’re not technically even the dungeon—”

Do NOT be rude to my symbiote.

Kepler turned red all over.

“Yes, alright, I get that, but—”

[It is unreasonable to expect anything from us. The citizens of the Scoop of receive enough from simply delving us.]

Celio scoffed, “We’ve argued this point, what, sixteen times times? Seventeen? I’m ready to just scrap this part entirely!”

[I agree, we should scrap it.]

Silas cleared his throat. “Celio, we can’t hear their side of the argument.”

“Oh, it’s the same as last time, ‘It is unreasonable to expect anything from us. The citizens of the Scoop of receive enough from simply delving us.’” Celio repeated word for word.

Aurelia scowled, “This is expected of dungeons!”

“Well,” Silas had been trying to mediate for most of the three-hour long meeting. “Most dungeons aren’t sapient.”

“Oh, come on Silas,” Aurelia retorted, “how are we going to profit at all if the dungeon doesn’t cooperate? We can’t exactly sell gold and jewels—that would out us in moments! The crown would be all over this!”

[Then just don’t sell anything. Not our problem.]

Celio winced.

“He said something rude, didn’t he?” Aurelia interpreted.

“Eh—” Celio started hesitantly. This wasn’t the first time Kepler and Aurelia had butted heads.

“Make it reciprocal.” Ira interrupted.

Celio blinked. “Hm?”

“If they’ll consider our requests, we’ll do the same. That sounds fair, doesn’t it?”

That’s a great idea! Clare’s aura slumped in relief. She had wanted to get along with the Scoop but had been a bit hesitant herself.

Aurelia pursed her lips. “Acceptable.”

Celio let out a dramatic sigh, “Thank Lux and Nox and all the outer deities. Yes, that is acceptable to both sides, Ira you are a lifesaver.”

She laughed lightly, and Clare noticed her ears turn pink.

Did she have a crush? Cute!

“Alright,” Celio turned to the gathered adults leaders of the Scoop, “Do the citizens of the Scoop agree to and promise to abide by the stipulations of this treaty?”

There was a chorus of yes’s and nods. Nova even let out a little cheer.

“And does the dungeon and her residents swear the same?”

Yes, I will abide by it. Clare swore. To her surprise, she felt a weight settle in on her. Kepler gave her an alarmed look, then checked the System.

“Kepler?” The relatively young priest below them looked concerned.

Her symbiote nodded slowly, then cleared his throat. [It is my honor to stand by Clare and her promises.]

“Great,” Celio proclaimed, then added flippantly, “You may now kiss the bride.”

Silas and Nettuno snickered, quickly joined by Jove in a trio of irreverent old men. Kepler eyed Clare’s avatar speculatively, and she giggled before turning away. Her heart was heavy in her throat, bound there by the weight of her new promise, and by the feelings she’d been pretending to take lightly.

We should celebrate!

It was best to keep moving.