“W-w-what in all that’s holy just happened… how did…” Alfonso began as he finally took in what happened, from the sonic boom of the strike being blocked, to the following one of Odiseo’s counter-strike and the dragon’s wings beat of the chihuahua’s tail. “Odiseo… when did you learn Kung Fu? Did you really do tha-”
The dog simply gave a nod of its tiny head, letting out a bark. It then tilted its head to an angle and Alfonso could almost swear that his dog was making the ‘young master's’ expression and had just said, ‘Of course I am, for I am a good boy.’
Dogs didn’t talk, cultivation world or not. He was more than sure of that. So he simply dropped to a knee and gave the dog a fur ruffling petting for a moment. When he was finished, he stood back up and gave a deep bow to both of the assembled grand cultivators. “This one apologies for the interruption. If there is anything I can do for you, please simply say so. I did not mean for my dog to do that, or for my meal to cause Ding Hui to-”
Gong Tung-Mei shook her head at that, and he could almost hear a ‘d’ohohohohoho’ from her for a split second. “Nonsense, my dear boy. There is nothing to apologize for, you gave us a great meal and entertainment- it is not every day that this fool..” she thumbed a direction at Wan Qi, the azure garbed master of the Crescent River’s Sect which she had entered the village with “feeds me something delicious after one of our bouts.”
She was up then and gave him a gentle bow. “Thank you for the meal. Your sacred beast did not bother me at all. Please come work for the Celestial Desert Sect, young cultivator and master cook.”
Which almost caused Wan Qi to strike her, “No! He will come work for me and the Wan Clan in the Crescent Rivers Sect! That meal was better than Swamp Rat Skewers!”
And by then Xiang Hou Gen had gotten up to try to defend his friend and stop his friend from being collateral damage only to fall to his feet and begin to spew toxins from his body.
“Did I do th-” Alfie had begun, rushing to Hou Gen, only to be stopped by the Elder of the village appearing beside the cultivator and shaking his head.
“No, young man, you did not. He just seems to have begun an advancement of his cultivation..”
Wan Qi and Gong Tung-Mei went from posturing at Alfie to instead nodding over the body.
Tung-Mei let out a tutting noise for a moment before speaking. “It seems he is. From Heights Stage to Falls Stage… Interestingly, he was only at the bottom of the Heights stage before.” Then she let out an amused noise. That meant this food was as powerful as a high great pill.
“Young man! You must work for me and my sect! With such skill, you could truly make our desert bloom!”
This time a crash did come between them and with the strike, the entire village shook. Wan Qi’s fist caught by the flattened palm of the delicate and graceful Tung-Mei.
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“He will work with the Crescent Rivers Sect if anyone. With such power, allowing the Celestial Desert Sect him would be unacceptable.”
They spoke focused on one another, but as they did, Alfonso was barely listening to the words. Past them a ten second span of a modern, downtown street. Alfonso let out a sigh.
“You two are why I’m here.”
“So you will work for us?”
“No! I meant you two are why I’m here. What you just did. I’m not from where or whatever this is, Juren Wuting? So go f-”
He never got that far, with Xiang Hou Gen suddenly back up and covering his friend’s mouth with his hand, shaking his head.
“You would not be the first.” He whispered. “But you can’t just fight them over it either. If you want to get home, you have to get stronger, Alfie. I do not want to lose my newest friend so quickly… please.”
The two giants of the cultivation world in front of them looked to another and then back to them before genuflecting. They, of course, had heard, no matter what efforts were made to make it whisper.
“We apologize. We did not realize we had created another rift in our duel or we would have sent you back as soon as it occurred.” The words came from Wan Qi, genial and noble, despite the gruff manner the man normally carried himself with. “However, he is right - but not because of what Xiang Hou Gen believes to be the reason. For us to allow you safely to travel back through the portal after you’ve already been here for a time, you must stabilize your core and begin to form your nascent soul. You must become at least that of the level approaching the second falls stage before we could attempt to send you back to your home. In the mean time, we can only offer our apologies, assistance, and protection.”
Before any words could be said or Alfie could let his anger take over, the young man took deep breaths and gave a nod. “Fine, but I’m not going to either of your sects as a full time disciple or anything. Call me an ally and visiting expert if I do, but I’m afraid of what waits me back home if I’m not fast-”
Alfie’s phone beeped, low since on low-power mode, and the young man took a moment to check it. In that flutter of data, one important message came through. A text and a voice mail, which said the same thing after Alfie listened to the voicemail.
“Mama Alma is okay, and stabilized. It’s nine forty-seven. She should be out in a week, and says to keep working on your cooking for her, she can’t wait to test what you make next. She loves you and I love you too, Alfie. Stay strong and see you soon. I’d say to come visit her, but the hospital doesn’t let anyone in after nine PM.”
Auntie Edith’s voice was a balm to his nerves, and he listened to it twice as the group waited and Hou Gen flopped back to the ground. In his head, burners lit, metaphorical food was chopped and prepped, and thoughts came through to his mind.
It had only been minutes ago when they came through, and in the call it was only twenty minutes after Mama Alma had been taken to the hospital. It had been days here. Alfie saw them move, but threw his hand up gently to gesture for them to stop and let him talk.
“So… Here's an offer. You give me and Hou Gen your support and some money. Help us gather the villagers of Eyu Luzhou and rebuild it, and protect us while we get every cultivator in this army who isn’t an actual bandit or threat back to their homes and villages - if they want to go. Take the promising ones you want otherwise. In exchange, I will travel, increase my cooking skill, and make new recipes. After I’m done, I’ll write a cookbook and visit your sects—both of them–and try to relay my knowledge to you and your disciples. How’s that sound?”
The pair of elder cultivators disappeared for a moment, reappearing thirty seconds afterwards with a nod.
“You have a deal, Kartuh Al Fi. But you must allow us to teach you to be a proper cultivator, rather than an outlandish barbarian who simply stumbled into the role. You need to know the basics, at least.”
He gave a nod, but the dark-haired, faintly tanned skinned, blue-eyed young man didn’t ultimately care. Chi, Ki, Mana, Beans, it didn’t matter. Magical Energy was magical energy and if he wanted to get home, he was obviously going to have to learn about it and progress through the stages, all the while learning whatever this world could teach him about cooking.
“We’re in agreement then.”
It was then that Alfonso “Alfie” Carter of the Chili Cloud Restaurant fed his hosts in the village of Luzhou Anhao for the first time. It was the birth of the legend of “Chi Li Stew and Chili Con Cultivation” in the wide region of the Juren Wuting, which was not a chi desert as so many expected - but a land of eddies where the chi was sparse in the air but strong in instead in the plants and the animals.