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Chef's Kissy
Chef's Kissy #12

Chef's Kissy #12

"According to the Fortune Teller she’ll bring hardship to our Golden Heavens Clan,” Soaring In Golden Heavens smiles tightly.

He’s learned long ago not to fidget with his hair, the shining curtain falling flat to just below his shoulders. Dressed in what his wife calls “good” robes, elaborate robes only worn on special occasions, he’s accustomed to ignoring what his wife thinks of as restrictive weight. True, she also calls his standard robes “good” robes, seemingly surprised that he dresses well regularly while she wears what he considers “scrap robes” or “peasant” clothing.

“We’re Thousand Valleys,” Red Clay reminds him, rolling her eyes as she breastfeeds their child. “She’ll be a beacon of strength and prosperity for Thousand Valleys.”

“My family --,” Soaring In Golden Heavens rubs his hands on his pants legs.

“Your true family has moved on. Golden Heavens Clan hates that their little prince married a wild mountain woman,” Red Clay reminds him, batting her eyes and staring at him. Her expression falls, and he sees the strong, stern woman he fell in love with. “You would abandon me and our family for your history? Or will you move on and join our clan?”

“You’re right,” Soaring In Golden Heavens slowly relaxes. The adherents to their Golden Heavens Clan didn’t approve of his connection with the Painted Mountains, but they’re new Thousand Valleys Clan have given only praise.

Some members of the old imperial family, left alive even after their defeat, somehow still feels entitled to the perks of their station. Most of these are people who wouldn’t have benefited had the family stayed in power, their bloodlines too far removed. But when the main families had stepped down, the parasites were quick to step into the light. True, the “empire” had fallen centuries ago, but there were so many “loyal” families still inflating the egos of the cruel and the selfish. Granted the Sacred Phoenix Emperor had greatly expanded the few prefects into a true empire, uniting even the clans that they couldn’t subdue, but there was still that sense of pride and entitlement.

They were devastated when Shimmering Steel showed the faintest affinity for basic Fire Essence. Heavenly is often mistaken for fire, and to have so little connection to it was upsetting to some. With a moderate affinity for Metal, Painted Mountains Clan had offered to adopt Soaring In Golden Heavens, giving Red Clay a chance to return home, but his ego would not allow it.

Metal.

Metal and.

There’s heat, but it’s not Heavenly. Sun, Star, even Moon would have been acceptable. She’s taken her mother’s element. If the empire was still standing she would never be able to take the throne, but, if she is truly her father’s daughter, or even her mother’s, she might be able to lead Thousand Valleys Clan.

Shimmering Steel.

She has the Golden Heavens coloring, for now, but they’re not sure what she’ll look like when she’s older. Thick dark hair, even so young, Soaring In Golden Heavens jokes that she’ll be a beauty, that they’ll have to have a few sons to protect her, but he stops at Red Clay’s reproving glare. Implying that they wouldn’t make sure their daughter was strong enough to defend herself? That even without their guidance she would fall to some random bandits?

“Now, we need to leave in the next few days in order to make it over to see my family so that they can celebrate her birth,” Red Clay says. Soaring In Golden Heavens, who is used to the woman becoming part of her husband’s household, isn’t sure how to process what he’s hearing.

“Our Thousand Valleys Clan is still celebrating,” he says slowly, blinking his eyes rapidly. “We’ve still the herbal baths and prayers to do,” he continues. “We spoke about the rites several times.”

“Not our Thousand Valleys, my Painted Mountains,” Red Clay let’s out a ragged sigh. She’d wondered why he’d been so accepting. “If she has truly taken after my Painted Mountains Clan, then she’ll need to speak with the elders to learn how to develop her Metal cultivation.”

“But you know your techniques,” Soaring In Golden Heavens groans, lowering his head into his hands before rubbing his forehead.

“I’m garbage with soil and rock, I can barely bend black iron --,” she stammers, stopping and looking up as he reaches out to hold her hand.

“And you’re capable of leveraging those skills in new and creative ways to stand on the peak with your peers,” he says softly.

“You mean punishing the more entitled members of your family who have the resources, the attitude, but not the experience to back up their loud braying,” Red Clay slowly turns her head away. “Speaking of, Shimmering Steel is her public name, what is her family name?”

“Good wife, how about Golden Fist Shattering the Mountains?” he pouts, whining playfully. He fights a smile when he sees her disinterested gaze warp into a wide-eyed glare. “No? What about Heavenly Mountains Framing A Golden Sun?”

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Red Clay turns her head, her iron hair pin flying free. Smiling nervously, Soaring In Golden Heavens pats her hand before turning away.

“Golden Sword Piercing the Heavens?”

When he looks back she’s still staring at him, eyes wide, unamused, but now there are even more light metal objects in the air. He recognizes her flying needles, flat blades that she usually holds together in a fan.

“Maybe Heavenly Golden Mountains?”

The eyes bug out and he nods, smiles, and turns away again. He pauses, preparing to apologize for the teasing this time, but when he turns back Red Clay is standing, Shimmering Steel clutched to her side, and her robes are back in place.

Soaring In Golden Heavens laughs as he races away, dodging his wife’s attempts to skewer him. He flips, ducks, spins, resisting the urge to blow kisses at her as he deflects her blades with fists shielded by Sun Essence. Eventually a servant comes to check on all the noise, screaming as their curiosity is met by a short rain of flying steel blades that stop while pointed at their face.

“Lords, there are more guests and well-wishers,” the servant bows before sprinting away.

“Tch!” Red Clay puts Soaring In Golden Heavens out of her eyes. His family are commoners now, but you wouldn’t know it from talking to them.

The Golden Heavens Clan didn’t stand a chance against the Sacred Phoenix Emperor. He quickly destroyed their seat of power, gifting them with their lives in his mercy, and they fled. They claimed new lands, attempting to re-establish their territory, but the Sacred Phoenix Emperor caught up with their clan easily.

Again they were forced to flee, losing face and taking their supporters to “new” territories. For every tribe or clan they conquered, the Phoenix Emperor conquered three more. Over and over he drove them before him, shaming them with his mercy. When the Golden Heavens Clan finally called it quits, changing their name to Thousand Valleys in memory of the lands they had conquered and lost, they’d finally managed to settle down, surrounded by loyal advisors who stayed with them through their shame.

And now Red Clay is stuck with a man who was part of that embarrassing clan, but showed why so many people would follow them in the first place. He was strong, hard working, charismatic, and caring. In fact, most of Thousand Valleys were. The only people willing to hold on to their past were those who were too lazy or weak to do anything but take the shortcuts and handouts given to them by others. It was much easier for them to sit on the backs of those who bowed than to attempt to accomplish anything themselves.

“No more games,” Red Clay snaps, sweeping past him to head in the direction the servant had gone.

“As you say,” he chuckles nervously, hoping that he hasn’t stressed his wife too much.

He apologizes gently, but his teasing had gone too far. She was still hot over the mistreatment from the more vocal nobles in his Golden Heavens Clan. He had no defense for his family, seeing how they had split into two nearly feuding households.

He takes over speaking to friends and family alike, his wife in no mood to speak. He laughs, jokes, intercepts the more boisterous well-wishers, all the while giving his wife a quick update on the meanings of the interactions. By the end of this day of blessings Red Clay storms back into their manor demanding he move into her family or join hands to still the feet of the Golden Heavens Clan.

“Join the loyalists who think they’re rebels who think Thousand Valleys is a group of disgruntled servants wishing to destroy the former Imperial Family in order to help stabilize the Rising Sun Empire,” Soaring In Golden Heavens says slowly, head leaning from one side to the other on each point as he helps Red Clay settle into bed. He removes her shoes and then his own before climbing into bed as well. “Surely you will go far. Promotions are based on talent and not bloodlines, after all.”

“Do people honestly not know that Thousand Valleys are Golden Heavens who release the title?” she asks, brow furrowed before Shimmering Steel’s wails pull her from bed, the child needing changing.

“It would seem, it would seem,” he murmurs. He stretches with a groan, not unaccustomed to such long meetings, but drained from the long celebration. “Do you really wish to return to Painted Mountains?”

“It is not about my wishes, it’s what’s best for Shimmering Steel,” she slurs, too tired to glare. “Either we go to them or you send for instructors to come to us.

“And before you start, flying swords aren’t even the smallest of things Metal Cultivation can do,” she interrupts before he can start up this argument again. “Why not get a candle-lighter to teach your Golden Heavens family how to use sunlight?”

“Tch! As you say, as you say,” he sighs, turning to hold Red Clay as she climbs back into bed with their daughter. “You’ve clearly given this much thought. Who do you have in mind?”

“Why do you think I keep insisting we return to my home,” Red Clay whines, finally done with the circles her husband keeps running around in. “I’ve explained this to you and you agreed, now I learn you thought I meant our Thousand Valleys family?!”

“So it was, so it was,” Soaring In Golden Heavens murmurs, giving several light bows. He’d wondered why Red Clay would be so insistent that their Thousand Valleys Clan, diverse as it has become, would know Metal Cultivation Techniques. “It seems I was mistaken, but surely it would be easier for us to send for instructors rather than dealing with making arrangements to move there, even temporarily?”

“What do you think I’ve been asking you about these last months?” Red Clay grits out, snatching up a pillow and striking him with every word. “She hasn’t even opened her eyes and you’re already blind? Tch! What happened to my husband? Hmph!”

Soaring In Golden Heavens continues to apologize as she turns her back to him, putting him out of her eyes. He tries to take Shimmering Steel so she can rest, but Red Clay snaps that he’ll probably send her to Golden Heavens houses to give her a pretentious name. He tries to massage her shoulders to help her relax and she shakes him off saying he’ll probably dump a bucket of water on her and call it a bath.

The more he attempts to help the more outlandish her comments become. Eventually he just helps her undress and climb into bed. He puts all the candles out except for one so that she can see when she inevitably has to get up to tend to their daughter, then spreads out a spare set of sheets, opting to lie on the floor.

Hopefully she doesn’t trip over him and accuse him of trying to trap the moon to make her a pair of shoes.

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