What a load of pig swill.

Sweet Bean been promised a job as a cook. True, she was no master chef, she wasn’t trying to be. She wasn’t even a proper cook, but she didn’t want to be. She’d wanted to practice making sweets. Just simple jammy deserts.

She barely remembers her past life anymore. She’d been born with more knowledge of her other life, but it’d slowly faded over the years. There were times of plenty and times of hardship, but she remembers being grateful for one thing above all else.

Being able to eat whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, if she had the funds, and not gaining an inch. Sure she had a soft figure, but that just meant not lean or muscular. She wasn’t fit, but she wasn’t even plump. She could live a whole month on sweets, do nothing but wander around town, and still be as slim as if she’d hit the gym a few days a week.

And, while Sweet Bean may only be a weak sorceror, she’s still got techniques that she can use in her everyday life. She’d seen some cultivators who could barely move without suppressing themselves or they’d destroy their environment. She’d seen sorceror’s hunted down like beasts because of the things their cultivation required. Her life was great in comparison.

So, when she’d found out that no one was selling jams in town she’d thought she’d be able to get rich quick with a variety of tasty treats. She’d gotten a few people buying jams as treats for children, -- literally just a scoop of jam straight from the jar, who does that? -- but her jam treats and candies hadn’t sold as well. She’d made more money selling fruit leather than she had her jams, but she’d wanted to sell soft, sticky treats. Who doesn’t like having a fun messy snack every once in a while?

Everyone else. No one liked getting messy. It was probably a better idea when you didn’t only have one or two robes. She couldn’t even make jammy treats as a holiday thing or gourmet item. No one was interested. But someone was interested in her persistence.

“Your product is very consistent. Come work for me.”

The woman was intense. Her movements were small, but when she decided to move Sweet Bean felt that it would be better to stand in front of a runaway horse than to stand in front of the woman.

She’d thought that Shimmering Steel was some hardass beauty who had a wandering husband, but took her duties as matron seriously, so to find out that not only did she not have a husband, but that she was never married, was a shock. All that intensity and a ton of work to pour it into, and she still had time to wander around for inspiration to make things more efficient? She’s not sure if the woman is hunan or some kind of machine spirit.

“She’d be a golem made of painted diamond,” Sweet Bean grumbles while chopping up herbs for the pet feed.

That was another thing. She’d been told she was going to cook, but no one said anything about her having to help babysit random animals. She’s not sure what kind of breeding system this is, but the foods she makes aren’t fun treats, they’re not even for hunans! Smelly animals, smelly herbs –. She doesn’t have recipe book, she has a formula book, and not one of the items is something she can share with her coworkers with pride.

Now the Diamond Queen had her “cooking” around the clock. True, she was mostly cutting up and grinding various plants, and she was developing her cultivation by making things that counted as medicine... but she’d wanted to make sticky treats!

She pushes forward, palm out, the heel of her hand on the outside, fingers parallel to the rim of the giant mortar, she slowly flips her hand, palm facing her as she pushes towards her chest, not pulling, a very different motion. A gentle change to the angle and the ingredients in the mortar start rotating as if lightly stirred, grinding together as she concentrates.

Supposedly this method can be used to grind down stone, but she only uses it for medicines and food. She doesn’t move faster, keeping up a steady pace, but she does compress everything into a small brick. Given time and practice she might actually be able to make heat-less pills. Those have a market.

But they’re not jammy treats.

“ ♪ Oh~! Our palms will be touched with gold tonight! ♪ ”

“Hmm?”

Sweet Bean is nearly done making supplement packages, additives for the produce that the creatures Thousand Valley has bred for numerous purposes when Night Jasmine warbles. She wants to cluck her tongue at the woman, -- she has no cultivation to assist, keeps going out trying to find a husband, and is too busy flirting with the other employees to stick around and do her job, -- but she figures why waste time on someone who’s going to bring down the Painted Diamond’s wrath on her own head? If she’s too dumb to move her head out of the way of the stone, why should Sweet Bean spare the energy to help her?

“ ♪ Thousand Valleys has a new heir! ♪” Night Jasmine continues warbling excitedly.

Tch! Now she’s becoming a nuisance. It’d be one thing if she could actually sing, but so far her only redeeming quality is that she hides her indiscretions by making deliveries, so Sweet Bean sometimes gets her supplies a little early.

“Spit it out and get to work or shut up and leave!” Sweet Bean snaps as the other woman just hums and bounces while staring at her.

“Tch! All you do is make medicine, will you find a husband pill?” Night Jasmine snaps back, irritated that Sweet Bean doesn’t even try to guess at the good news. “Thousand Valleys has changed hands and the heir is here! Right now! If we do a good job impressing him, we may be pulled to work in his household! He may even pick a wife!”

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“What matter is that to me?” Sweet Bean rolls her eyes. She harbors no illusions that some handsome rich prince will fall in love with her, eat one of her jam treats, then fall in love with her even more.

“Well, I thought you’d like to know that he’s a young child here for training, and he might be interested in your messy treats,” Night Jasmine says slowly, sweetly, like a warmed poison dripping into Sweet Bean’s ear. “He was a peasant, and now he’s moved to the main house, so you’d think you’d be more grateful at hearing about such a golden opportunity, but I guess if a money branch buds, you’ll miss it because you’re working!”

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, you know Night Jasmine is the most knowledgeable and surely to be married soon with a beauty that will never fade!” Sweet Bean cries, racing over and hugging her detestable co-worker, heaping praise after praise in her excitement.

“Yes, yes,” Night Jasmine waves her hand, palm up as she demands more praise instead of shooing her away. “Truly, we women must band together to find nuggets hidden amongst the pebbles. Now wash up and go impress the new lord with your treats!”

Sweet Bean squeals in excitement before her more responsible spirit pulls her back. She checks to make sure that she’s nearly done with her task. She’s supposed to grind medicines all day, but with her cultivation a 12-hour task can be done in 5 if she focuses, very auspicious. Comfortable that her progress won’t hold up the schedule she races to the baths to wash clean before heading to the kitchens.

As she races to her rooms she goes over what she’ll wear, from her hair to her face to her fingers, clothes, and shoes. A boy today may be a handsome lord tomorrow, why not try her hand? She’s not going to seduce him, but it wouldn’t hurt to look capable and skilled and beautiful. True, she doesn’t compare to the princess, but she’s not plain. It should be enough.

As she makes her way to the kitchens she goes over what she’ll make, depending on what ingredients they have on hand. She doesn’t manage to end her tasks early in the nursery and make her ways to the kitchens several times a day, so she’s not unknown. They may not like her jams, but her pastes are some of the smoothest, and she’s even taught them about whips and mousses. Hmm, she will need to make gifts for the kitchen staff for allowing her the opportunity...

When she gets to the kitchens she second guesses herself. No one’s preparing a feast, there aren’t any deserts being prepped, nothing is being chilled, it seems like a normal day. She mentally backtracks to see if she’s mixed up the days, eyes growing wide as she realizes she never double-checked to make sure Night Jasmine’s information was accurate. Did that snake really just trick her into leaving her work unfinished? Is she going to try to claim credit for Sweet Bean’s work?

“Excuse me! I heard that we’re entertaining a guest today?” Sweet Bean says as she rushes to the head preparation cook. She might be known, but she doesn’t have the kind of pull to address the head cook directly.

“Lady Shimmering Steel said that we’re not supposed to give Lord Golden Blade God any special treatment. We’re to help raise him to be a proper clan head, not some spoiled brat that embarrasses the family and brings shame to the family name,” the prep cooks all gather around and share the edict with frowns of disapproval. They have a chance to show that their skills are nothing to be mocked and they’re being told to hide them.

“Well, surely a ‘proper clan head’ needs to know how to entertain and host guest,” Sweet Bean stammers. “If he doesn’t learn now, imagine how embarrassing it’ll be when he becomes known as a miser or worse? What if people think he’s deliberately snubbing him? How could we keep show our faces then?”

Sweet Bean doesn’t know whether to cheer or face palm as she watches the expressions of her co-workers. Eyes and mouths slowly widening, complexions going pale, these people were honestly not going to treat the Thousand Valleys Heir as even an honored guest? Surely they misunderstood the message, and now, this close to a meal, what could they make without shaming themselves.

“Work on the meal, I’ll work on treats to buy you time!” Sweet Bean says, donning a full apron dress to protect her clothing while tying a cloth over her neatly styled hair. “We won’t shame Thousand Valleys!”

She doesn’t have time to cheer that they allowed her to try her ideas. Space was at a premium and they had a lot of work ahead of them. If anything, rallying them to all work at once was a terrible idea. Usually guest meals were prepped weeks in advance. You had to source the ingredients, get the timing right, practice a signature or special dish keyed to your guest.

In this way does she learn that the visit was a surprise. In this way does she learn why they hadn’t thought to bother with a welcome meal, and the little lord had been here for hours with barely a drink. Now the kitchen staff are berating themselves. The workers know the meal schedule, and they’d thought that the young lord would be on Shimmering Steel’s schedule, but her cultivation was so high she barely ate or drank. Surely the damage had already been done.

Sweet Bean hoped to save the day with her jam treats. Sticky rice with jam in the middle was liked, but bean paste or pickled items were preferred. She hoped to convince the young boy otherwise. He was cast away, left to live frugally, surely he’d appreciate a sweet treat? She had as a child. Still does as an adult. An occasional indulgence, true, but a welcome break.

She quickly sets together a selection of sweet jams and teas with an assortment of nuts. Hoping he wasn’t allergic she heads out with her porcelain dishes, one of the prep cooks quickly dragging her back so that she can remove her protective apron, and then she sets off again.

By the time she finds the lord wandering with a contingent of servants hanging back at a respectful distance, she realizes that she hasn’t brought any spoons or knives for the jams. She’d even left her own personal dishes when she’d gotten changed. She’s tempted to ask one of the house servants to run to the kitchen for her, but then remembers that the young lord was poor once. Surely he wouldn’t be bothered by eating with his hands.

“Sweet Bean greets Lord Golden Blade God. First and foremost I’d like to apologize on behalf of our kitchens for not verifying the Lord’s cultivation. We’re used to peasants and Lady Shimmering Steel, and they’d quite forgotten that there are levels in between,” she laughs lightly as she sets down the tray with a bow. “If your lordship would like to try these treats while a feast is being prepared, we would like a chance to regain our honor. Would your lordship indulge us?”

“You will have to show me how to eat these things,” Golden Blade God looks at small dishes of jelly. He thought they’d be scooped into leaves or onto buns, but there are no buns or spoons, which he quickly points out.

“With these it is acceptable to use one’s fingers,” Sweet Bean lies smoothly, giving another light bow. “I’ll go and get his lordship a cleaning tray. With your patience...” She gives another bow, turning and letting her face fall into embarrassed panic as she mouths for the servants to help her with the mess she’s stepped in.