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Cheaters Always Win
33. That Was Easy

33. That Was Easy

There has been a long-standing treaty with Welton, Wisperium, and the Church of Pernatia for centuries. Every decade, a person is designated as the head of the group that defends the dwarven capital from intruders and monsters alike. Together with Welton's military forces, Wisperium's elite warriors, and Pernatia's finest talent it is hard to find any kingdom with a superior defense. In exchange, Welton is the exclusive supplier of all their equipment at a low fixed cost that has not changed since the beginning of the contract. The dwarven city provides them with high-grade equipment at a cost that isn't affected by inflation or other economic factors. Many claims that the kingdom loses out on hundreds upon thousands of gold yearly adhering to the contract, but many argue that the benefit received from having the two most dominant powers on the continent protecting them is more than enough to offset the cost.

~ A Deep Dive on Welton's Founding by Honey Pimblington

"What message do you bring from my creator?" The Chief said in English. Unlike the standard Scrap Bot, it lacked the awkward pause in between words. Its voice sounded much more natural, further incensing the illusionist as his mind tried to connect the voice to the herculean construct.

"Your main base was invaded by ankhegs and their queen. The others have moved bases and now you lot need to get going."

It seemed alarmed upon hearing the news. Chester flinched upon seeing it take a closer step. Jensen stood on guard and brandished his war ax protectively. The Chief noticed this and stopped immediately. Damien couldn't help but notice just how natural its movement was, likening it to Android 01 and Elric in terms of fluidity. Two of its back arms hung at their hips loosely, and its lone hand scratched at its head in a human-like gesture.

"My creator. My comrades. Are they alright? I have only detected minor fluctuations in the supply to our workforce. We receive a steady stream of foot soldiers and drillbots to replace us here."

"Chester, what's it saying?"

"It just asked me if Elric and the others are alright. He was hellbent on keeping the adamantium mines even after they moved because he's still regularly sending his forces down here. Greedy bastard." Chester could see why the man left some of his soldiers down in the junkyard. The illusionist realized it was to keep a steady supply of adamantium funneled to their forces.

Damien resisted the urge to mention that the criminal shouldn't be the one calling others greedy. Before he could respond, Chester explained the situation to the otherwise silent bot in a straightforward manner. He listed it out and made sure to add in just how they helped save Elric and the others during the invasion.

Jensen maintained a straight face the whole time, but Damien could see that he was curious about their situation regarding the constructs. The taller vampire carried the war ax in his hand limply at his side, sensing no hostility from the Scrap Bots and their Chief. It was hard to hold their tension for so long when none of the constructs made a move and quietly listened to the illusionist's tale.

The vampires couldn't understand the man's language but appreciated how the man used gestures to tell the story. Damien figured that he could have a career as a bard or as a street beggar if he used his illusions and story-telling abilities properly. He watched the man conjure up a miniature scene depicting a vicious battle with ankhegs and robots. The Scrap Bots listened intently, enraptured by the tale he fabricated. It was embellished a little, showing an extremely large and half-naked version of Chester saving the day while the rest of the characters within his illusion were basic bystanders.

"Your armor...It is from my creator?" It took its hand out, and Chester didn't know what to do. Hesitantly, he unclasped his tactical protection and handed it to the Chief. It held the item gingerly in its hands. "Elric's skill has grown since I have last checked. I hope that he can augment my current body. It has been years since I last saw my home."

The way it talked reminded the man of a lost dog waiting for its owner. Its mannerisms belied its appearance of a hulking, blood-stained murderbot that crawled out of a Mad Max movie.

It rose from its position to the full three-meter height, and the Scrap Bots quickly followed. It spoke to them and subsequently began filing out and dispersing; some went down into the tunnels, presumably returning to where they belonged, and others went to collect and tell the drillbots about their updated tasks. The constructs were anything but procrastinators. The Chief turned its head and stared at them once more, handing back Chester's equipment.

"We will return to the junkyard. " It intoned emotionlessly. Chester high-fived Damien and tried the same on the Lieutenant General, but merely got a firm handshake. It seemed as though the older vampire acknowledged Chester's skills. The man's face was set in a hard expression, but his eyes were tinged with a bit of respect.

"Wait, can you tell them to send a message to the Androids before they leave?"

"Uh, sure. What do you want me to tell them?"

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Damien pondered it over for a moment. "Just to find an excuse for why they had the machines in another kingdom's mines. If they antagonize Welton it could be bad for their future development as a kingdom. Just something for them to know."

Chester did his best to relay the information to the Chief, and it promised to deliver the message to them as soon as possible. Satisfied, the rest of the robots began filing out of the massive adamantium mines and left it near empty within twenty minutes. The trio returned to the larger group and Tony Copperpots was flabbergasted upon seeing all the mining constructs withdraw without a fight.

"You're all alive! I had figured you sent the human as a sacrifice to be made, but I thought wrong!" Tony said the other half in dwarvish and Damien fought back a spurt of laughter. Chester noticed it and tried to strong-arm the boy into telling him what the shorter dwarf said, but was quickly humbled upon losing in a strength contest. Seeing that there was no other target, he decided to threaten Tony into telling him what he said.

"Well, er..."

"That's enough. We should go up and tell the others about the news. Seems fair?" Jensen cut in, deciding that enough was enough. Damien agreed and the man reluctantly let go of the issue and dropped Tony. The human paladins were much more curious about Chester and tried to recruit him after realizing he wasn't just a mere servant. The illusionist made it clear and told loudly that he was not serving Damien or underneath him whatsoever.

"Would you be interested in joining the Church of Pernatia? We'd like to talk to you more about the benefits and what we do if that's alright."

Chester decided to humor them, although he had no real intent of considering it. It seemed preposterous for someone like him to join a religious organization. "Sure, sure go ahead. We've got some time before we get to the first floor anyway."

"Well, our compa-church, I mean, is very willing to pay talents to secure their loyalties. As a member of the church, you'll skip many of the entrance exams and get a personalized position in our ranks as part of the special forces. I think you could make it as one of the special agents directly under the Archibishop."

"Huh. Any benefits, health coverage, along those lines?"

"All of your healing needs will be supplied by us. Any terminal illnesses or ailments that can't be cured through regular means can undergo operations in our partner's hospitals. You get your standard equipment, and the higher ranks can request certain materials to add to their personal gear. Pernatia's vendors give you a 20% discount as long as you carry your employee license. We also have paid vacation for two weeks every year. Here' a full brochure of all the benefits that's included and you may qualify for."

Chester took the paper from their hand and wondered where they put it and why they brought it with them to an underground expedition. He wasn't used to being so openly recruited. "Well, I'll be damned. Even tuition reimbursement? Wow. I feel like you guys would be...What's the word...Gatekeeping this sort of stuff? I'd be pretty secretive about these types of opportunities. Unless there's some sort of horrible catch like I'm an indentured slave for the rest of my life."

The two soldiers looked between them and laughed. "Oh, we get that a lot. But Pope Pernatia is very employee-minded. We get a finders fee for talent, and we feel someone like you could make it up high."

The illusionist felt a brief moment of temptation. A brief surge of wanting to join the dark side; a stable job with responsibilities and benefits. He never thought he'd see the day. But as soon as the feeling came he quashed it.

"Well, thanks. But for now, I'd like to just find out my other options. Is the offer still open if I still want it later on?"

"Of course! Just remember that Franklin Pierce and Hugo Barnes are the ones that recommended you. We'll get a hefty bonus that way."

For the criminal, the only reason he didn't join on the spot was that he didn't want to be tied down with obligations at this point in his life. Chester felt like there was so much this world had to offer, and he wanted to make sure that there wasn't some way where he could just live comfortably without having to work. After all, he already had a few hundred gold to live off of comfortably. The man knew that they'd be getting some sort of massive reward for what they did today and if it was so easy to make money there'd be no need to take them up on their offer.

Scaling up the elevator and returning to the surface, the reactions were immediate. The taverns were filled to the brim with celebrating dwarves and many drinks were headed the group's way as a form of thanks. Damien was the only one that didn't take a mug but relented after some pressure from the illusionist. The young vampire took a small sip of Pernatia's Golden Ale and almost spat it out. He stuck his tongue out comically as if the air would remove all the alcoholic taste from his mouth.

"Ugh! It's so strong! I thought you said it was easy to drink!" His alcohol tolerance was quite high even for his diminutive build thanks to his END stat. The alcohol didn't do much other than burn his throat.

"Well for me it is." Chester took a swig from the mug and enjoyed the attention they and the group received.

The barracks weren't far from the mines, but everywhere they went the news spread like wildfire. Hushed whispers and pointed stares were sent their way up until they reached the barracks. Natalia was on the back of the massive six-legged panther, riding comfortably as the beast slinked over to where it was sleeping. Many people had the sense to give it a wide berth.

"Yeah, seems like some scouts were trying to gauge our defenses. Tell Alda and the others to tighten up security around-" She snapped her head back after hearing Damien's voice. The woman immediately stopped talking to the lackey below her. "Oh! You guys are alright! How did the trip go?"

The vampire noble returned the necklace to her gratefully and told them about the mission's success. She seemed stupefied upon hearing the story and Damien did his best to mention Elric and the others at Stillwater so no further misunderstandings would occur.

"I have a friend in Stillwater by the name of Elric. He is the one responsible for taming the vast majority of these constructs and getting them to stand down. Now they're developing a new kingdom in Stillwater by the name of Metropolis. Please, if he ever comes here please give him a hand."

"So you're telling me you made connections with the founder of a kingdom? Your parents would be so proud. I've got to tell your mom! Little Damien's already moving up in the world." She dropped down from the panther's back with ease and stood beside the group with ease. Everybody in their group stood a bit straighter, even if they weren't under the direct command of the Wisperium General. It showed just how much respect and authority the woman held.

"Uh, I helped too, by the way. I was a pretty big part in making friends with Elric."

Natalia pointedly ignored Chester and he slumped in defeat. He ground his teeth in jealousy and the vampire boy couldn't believe just how persistent the man was in the attempt to woo his surrogate aunt. The group which went down with them quickly dispersed into the crowd, seeing the mission was completed. Jensen bade the group farewell and deigned to give Chester a proper handshake as well. The illusionist inwardly complained that the vampires were a bunch of snobbish elitists that didn't take him seriously because he was a human.

"Okay, let's see if we can arrange a meeting with the Royal Family. But first...PARTY TIME!"

All the soldiers raised their fists in response. Dwarves, humans, and vampires alike had wide grins on their faces. Damien and Chester were going to feel first-hand what a party in Welton was like.