Looking into the darkening jungle, I couldn’t see the tell-tale glow of Reff’s molten amour, nor the sickly green glow of V’s cat-like aura.
“Uhm, where did the other fight go?”
Darina, who had been beginning to examine the freshly destroyed body of our own foe, rose from her morbid observations to glance around, the gore I had accidentally coated her with streaking her face black in the dark.
“I lost track the first time I knocked into the jungle; you seemed fine, shouldn’t you know?”
“I was occupied with McCreepy. By the way, you seem to get your neck broken a lot, you need to invest in, I don’t know. Are there neck exercises?”
“McCreepy? No.” The apprentice’s voice started firm, but quickly grew defensive as she continued, “And the neck breaking is only temporary; it isn’t like I lost an arm, Hunter.”
“Of course, because it’s worked out so far, it definitely always will. Anyway, how’re we going to find them? Can you... throw me into the air? Maybe I can see their glow from above?”
“The canopy is likely too dense to see easily, and besides, why would I throw you? You clearly weigh more than I do, it would make more sense if you threw me.”
“I only have one arm, remember? But since you’re volunteering...”
I bent down and cupped my hand, staring innocently at my friend. As was her pattern, she glared back.
“You’re being an idiot again while our companions may be in trouble, Hunter.”
She was right of course; I was still running on adrenaline and the high of victory, and teasing her was not helping. The problem was that I really had no better idea for finding them; the jungle was dense and dark, if we picked the wrong direction, it would be very easy to miss them.
“What do you suggest, Darina? We can’t help them if we can’t find them. Hey, how about you make your ears giant? Maybe you can hear them then? It’s pretty quiet at the moment.”
And it was, quiet that is. It seemed like our fight had scared most of the locals off, or at least shut them up.
“That... might work.” She said it reluctantly, and I knew she loathed to admit it, but I thought I caught a note of grudging appreciation in her voice.
Keeping quiet and giving her a thumb up, I watched as her face scrunched up, clearly concentrating. For a moment, nothing happened and the two of us stood staring at each other; I was on the verge of laughing at the absurdity of the situation when her ears finally began to grow. In one prolonged spurt, like balloons being pumped up, they grew so that each was the size of her own head, and then twice and finally three times that size; I just barely held onto my laughter, but I knew she knew, given the grim look I was receiving.
“In polite confusion, why do you have giant ears, Darina?”
The two of us spun to face the voice, which was coming from Riffa who was stood a short distance away, her form barely lit by the last guttering flames... that had totally come from nowhere.
“Riffa! Thank, uh, Xiournal? Whatever, I’m glad you-”
I was interrupted by a sharp pain in my shoulder, which was accompanied by enough force to knock me over sideways. Confused and wondering why I had not been given any warning, I rolled with the blow and turned in the direction the blow had come from, where Darina stood rubbing at her now normal-sized ears.
“Ow, Darina, what the shit?”
“Did you have to shout while my ears were huge, Hunter? That really hurt.”
“And getting punched didn’t? You only had to say something!”
I felt a little bad, but I had not really shouted; my voice had been raised a little, but I supposed when you had ears the size of an elephant’s that could sound a lot like a shout. Not that I thought that was the whole reason for the punch; I thought she was a little embarrassed to be caught with giant ears, which was funny given that she had been fine sprouting toothy tentacles and whatnot.
Trying to awkwardly rub at my shoulder with that same hand, I walked back over the small distance to face Riffa.
“I'm glad you’re okay; where’s Reff? Is he alright?”
“With vague exasperation, my brother is without injury, and our opponent has been subdued.”
I felt my mouth fall open at that; the last time the four of us had fought Green Cat Guy, he had quite definitively kicked our collective asses. The jump to Foundation must have been a doozy, or perhaps V’s foundation just was not that developed.
“That’s amazing! How did you do it? Did Reff kick his ass, was it awesome?”
I felt Darina roll her eyes, but she did not say anything clearly wanting to hear the answer to my question.
“In renewed confusion, I do not believe my brother attacked from the rear; our strategy consisted of my puppets creating a diversion while brother gathered more rock to increase his armour-”
“Megaform.”
“-And then he sat on him, while he was distracted.”
Blinking, I casually stuck a finger in my ear; I knew there had to be something lodged in there, as I could have sworn Riffa had just said they had defeated V – the man who had kicked our asses – by sitting on him.
“Sorry, Riffa. I guess the fight did something to my ears, I thought you said Reff sat on him.”
“In confirmation, that is correct Hunter.”
“... Like, sitting on a chair? Sat on him?”
“With patient assurance, that is correct, Hunter. Brother’s larger armour has sufficient weight that our foe could not lift him, and is now pinned in place. V’s energy claws cannot pierce far enough through the stone to do any real harm, though they could grow to a surprising length.”
If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
Shaking my head, I turned to the uncharacteristically quiet apprentice; she had a curiously speculative look on her face.
“Trying to imagine making yourself giant? You could change your nickname thing to, ‘Darina the Ever Sitting.’ I think it has a nice ring to it.”
“Shut up, Hunter. Riffa, let’s go and see our captive.”
“With renewed confusion, of course. Please follow me.”
“How about, ‘Darina, The Suddenly Sedentary’? I know you like to use your head in a fight, but this opens up a whole new-”
“Shut up!”
*
***
*
By the time we arrived at Reff’s location, I had run through several more completely serious new possible nicknames for the short apprentice, including my personal favourite, ‘Darina of the Flowing Ears.’ While she had not punched me again, I could tell by the heated looks she kept stabbing my way that she was close.
Biting my lip to stop myself from grinning, I pushed through some drooping foliage to find myself suddenly in a clearing, though this one looked like it had been smashed into existence rather than anything natural. At the centre of the risi-made clearing, a massive statue sat featureless, arms and legs braced against the ground. It was an odd pose that made the stone construct seem like it was trying to crab-walk, but the reason was soon apparent; beneath the boulder-like buttocks of the statue lay V, glaring at us from the ground. At a guess, I assumed the statue was in that position to prevent the torturous beast cultivator from being crushed to death; I wouldn’t have minded that, if I was being completely honest with myself, but I supposed the opportunity to question him was too good to pass up.
Beside the trapped form of the Risen Throne member sat my friend, who was surprisingly not currently couched within the cold confines of his Megaform.
“Reff! Wow, good job! I thought this was going to be a way tougher fight than ours, and in our fight Darina died again.”
This time when the apprentice swung for me, Instinctive Precognition trigged and I stepped out of the way with a grin on my face; on an unrelated note, I decided to stop teasing her. None of it was out of malice, of course; it had been painful to watch her die again, even if I 'knew' she would survive. This was more of a coping mechanism, a way of processing; when it came down to it, I would rather laugh than cry, and I hoped it would give my friend something else to focus on. A broken neck might only be a small issue for the regenerator, but all the same, it could not feel good to be left so helpless, for any time.
“With appropriate pride, thank you, Hunter; Our foe was overconfident and taking advantage of it was simple strategy... and physics.” The risi turned to look at Darina and gave her a slow nod. “I am sorry you experienced such a thing again... perhaps we can work to create you a neck brace of some kind?”
“Very funny. He – it – should not have been able to hit me, but those Void damned sudden movements were impossible to predict.”
“... You killed it, did you? And abandoned the body, it seems? Whatever shall we do...”
I looked down at the trapped figure who had interrupted our conversation; his voice was slightly strained, as if he was struggling a little to speak, which was fine as far as I was concerned. I was having the strongest compulsion to go over and start kicking him in the head, but I was doing my best to ignore it; his arms were not pinned, and I knew that despite his present circumstances, if he did manage to get his hands on me, I would not enjoy the experience.
“Yeah, we kicked the crap out of it. Hard to believe it was at the Foundation stage, honestly. Maybe we’re just that awesome.”
“... How amusing. It was most certainly not at the Foundation stage, a mere appendage to our Lord. Still, to defeat it is impressive enough, given our last bout. I’m sure it will work out for you.”
“Says the asshole trapped under a stone ass. It must be like coming home for you, huh?”
“In cautious warning, this is the most he has spoken since his capture, Hunter. He does not sound like one should in his position.”
“Reff is right, Hunter. How did he escape the Legion’s custody, and make his way here? And how was he expected to steal the egg? Could this be a distraction?”
“Honestly, both this guy and... Shade... seem to have several screws loose, so maybe we’ve been giving them too much credit? They could just be idiots.”
“... That isn’t a very nice way to speak of a guest.”
“You literally tortured me.”
“... But that was fun!”
I started towards him despite myself, fist clenched and eyes narrow, but I was stopped by a large hand on my head; it was not quite the traditional place to grab a person, but Riffa was pretty tall, so I could understand it.
“With clear understanding, you should not fall for his provocation. He is defeated and seeks to provoke us into making a mistake.”
“You’re right, Riffa. Thank you.”
“... You’re no fun, baihu. Well, I imagine our time together is almost done; what shall we talk about?”
“Almost done? You’re not going anywhere, asshole. How did you even get away from the Legion? You got your ass handed to you by Commander Arnell. And the last time we say you, you were tied up like a roast.”
“... The Commander was certainly a person I underestimated. Such interesting possibilities. Do you think she could make you... eat your own hands? Still, even the might of the Legions pales in comparison to the Risen Throne. Then, as now, my Lord will come for me.”
“Like he came for the other guy we defeated? Seemed pretty dead to me.”
“... Dead, yes. But, like some amongst you, it doesn’t seem to bother that one greatly.”
I looked over at Darina and then back again, frowning. Surely, he was not suggesting that that thing would be coming back... right? We had not been able to ascertain its exact powers, but the scars at least suggested it was not a healer, or regenerator.
“Well, we smashed its head off, blew its heart out of its chest and disembowelled it. If it’s not dead, maybe Reff can burn it to a crisp. Would that be a problem for it?”
“... Well. My Lord will not appreciate that! I do so hope he lets me watch-”
Reff reached out a hand to touch the statue and a ripple of dull orange ran through it, and while I could not perceive any real change, V shut up quickly.
“With grim promise, answer when asked, but do not speak otherwise; I grow weary of you.”
My friend’s voice was low – more than usual – and carried with it a warning like the shiver before a volcano erupts. It was the most clearly angry I had seen the risi; even when he had destroyed the table all those weeks ago in Everwood City, that had been more a fit of pique than a genuine, heated rage. This carried fire.
“In calming conciliation, now is not the time for The Mountain’s Rage, brother. Calm.”
“In cooling contrition, you are right, Riffa. I am sorry for my outburst.”
“I thought it was pretty badass, actually. What did you do to shut him up?”
“With vague uncertainty, thank you? I merely extended a portion of the stone. I believe humans find their testes to be quite delicate?”
I tried to wince and grin at the same time; I did not want to ever get on the giant’s bad side.
“That is true, Reff. There is a nerve I can show you which would provoke even-”
“Okay, as much as I don’t like this guy, let’s not embrace the whole, ‘torture’ thing, Darina.”
“I believe in fighting fire with fire, Hunter.”
“Okay, staying on everyone’s good sides! Got it. Important safety tip, guys, thanks.”
Ignoring the looks I was getting from my friend – being well used to them – I moved as close as I dared to the now silent and glaring figure.
“Okay, V – Can I call you asshole? Good. Asshole, are you the only ones sent to steal the egg? And if so, how?”
The figure turned his glare on Reff before looking back at me, a small smile slipping onto his sharp face.
“... There were several teams. My instructions were to assist the appendage across the river and to retrieve it afterwards.”
“Shit, several teams?”
I looked around the clearing to my friends; everyone looked grim. We had anticipated a distraction, but it had not occurred to us that they may attack from more than one direction.
“How do we know you are telling the truth?”
I was still trying to work out where else they could attack from when Darina spoke up, he arms crossed and her face sceptical. It was a good question, and one I should have thought of before letting the idea run away with me.
“... I just have one of those faces.”
As he spoke, there was a flash of light followed by heat and a crack from the North, turning the burgeoning night to day for a moment. It was not a great distance from us, and with a final look at each other and our captive, we took off into the dark.