“You guys looked like you had fun last night - Rainmaker said you sparred?”
It was a little later in the morning and it seemed like the group had collectively recovered from their hangovers, and even the bruises they had sported faded after they had taken the healing pills.
“Us? Aye, we sparred, but I’m more interested in what ye got up to without yer shirt?”
Recalling my semi-naked state suddenly, I glanced down at my bare chest; I had completely forgotten my state of undress, as the heat of the rainforest mostly made it unnecessary, and even the light rain that managed to find its way to the forest floor felt comfortably warm.
With a slightly embarrassed smile, I reached into a ring and pulled out my last undamaged shirt and slipped it on, struggling with the knots for a moment with my one remaining hand. That done, I rolled my dangling sleeve up to my stump and secured it as much as possible, still wondering where the hell my last had vanished to. I did not bother with my robe, as the only undamaged one I had left was my heavy travel robe, meant for significantly colder climates.
“I have no idea what happened to my shirt and robe, I don’t suppose you did?”
“I think you took it off when you offered to wrestle Cloudbringer.”
“I offered to what? How am I even alive?”
“With restrained amusement, Cloudbringer seemed amused by it; he simply stood there as you attempted to lift his leg. You... failed.”
“Okay, so I may have drunk – or eaten – too much last night. I assume you guys ate less?”
“Nah, we’re just not light weights, like ye be, Sparky.”
Cad grinned at me and I laughed and shook my head; I had not really drunk much since my arrival, and I wondered if that was the source of my low tolerance, or whether it was perhaps a feature of my new species. I had no way to tell, and nobody to ask, since I had yet to meet another ren.
“Fine, I’m a cheap date. But what about you, you were all bruised up when I found you.”
“After you passed out, we decided to spar. You can never know if you may need to fight drunk,” Darina looked at Cad pointedly before continuing, “or when not at your best. It seemed like a good opportunity.”
Remembering the fight I had in a tavern, and how my opponents may have been slightly drunk – giving me an advantage – I could see the wisdom in such a practice.
“We could... just not drink too, I guess.”
“Hush yer mouth, Sparky. What a thing t’say.”
“Sorry, sorry! Should have known better. Anyway, do we want to hit the road today, make some headway to getting back to the Citadel?”
“In confused clarification, there are no roads within the Sha Forest, Hunter.”
“You’re right, Riffa, sorry. My bad. Should be just leave through the jungle, then?”
“With polite confirmation, that does seem to be the only option.”
“In firm agreement, we should hurry back. We should pay our respects once more to the Elders, and depart.”
“Yes! I'm sick of the insects again.”
Climbing to our feet, the five of us made our back through the trees, and around the still resting behemoths until we found our way back to the mostly empty fire-pit; across it, Rainmaker and Cloudbringer still sat talking, and though I could not hear Cloudbringer’s voice over the distance, the deep rumble of the white-furred Elder caused the ash in the pit to vibrate.
“-never liked those sneaky wood apes, always sneaking about in trees; trees are for climbing, smashing, and growing fruit, not for climbing in.”
Cloudbringer said something in reply and the other Elder fell into laughter, slapping the ground hard enough that leaves drifted down from above.
Looking up at our approach, Rainmaker continued to laugh, but the smiling Elder that used to be Borr spoke, amusement clear in his voice.
“Human, your robe is behind that tree, but I’m afraid you tossed your shirt in the fire.”
My mouth was half-open, ready to speak when the Elder beat me to it; for a fraction of a second, I wondered how he had known, but then I recalled that I had spoken to them shirtless earlier that morning, and that he very likely was aware of our entire conversation.
“Uh, thank you, Cloudbringer. I’ll just go and... get that then.”
Darina snorted and with a nod, I walked away to go and find my wayward robe. I could not imagine what had prompted me to throw it away, or to burn my shirt, but I was glad at least that I had not burned both.
Dusting the plant matter and dirt from the slightly ragged robe, I slipped it on, trying not to catch my rolled-up sleeve. After several seconds, fully dressed again, I made my way back to my companions, who were holding a polite conversation with the two Elders.
“-you or your assistance; without the fire resistance meassures, we may not have succeeded in our mission.”
“Ha! Well, the chicken has calmed down, and you gave me the idea for both a fruit tax and a Fruit Association. Soon we will be so fruit rich that all the world will bow before the thundering apes!”
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“Beggin’ yer pardon, yerElderness, but if ye end up creatin’ any int’restin’ fruit, ye should contact the Assoc – the Alchemy Association. I’m sure they’d be willin’ t’trade.”
“The whole point is to get more fruit, not give it away! You’re dumb, even if your breath is fun.”
I could see that Cad had no idea how to take that, but was saved from trying to interject by Cloudbringer, who stepped in with an interruption of his own.
“We’ll keep it in mind. You liked that fruit they brought you, right Boss? The blue one with the white meat?”
“It was pretty good... but we can just plant the seeds and make our own! Ha!”
“Beggin yer pardon again, yerElderness, but those seeds’ll not grow. Make medicine they might, but they’d not risk profit by giving away crops.”
Cad’s one was apologetic and polite, but at his words Rainmaker’s face tightened, eyes narrowing as he became still, his body tense.
“You are you saying, Almost Not Puny, that you tricked me?”
When he spoke, the Elder’s usual rumble was even lower, and cold like a winter storm. I felt my heart begin to thud and my throat grew dry; I had seen the cunning beast angry before, when he had come looking for the Shadow Faced Guy, but if anything, he seemed even more angry now. Rainmaker took fruit very seriously.
The moment drew out, and I could see the normally confident Cad breathing hard; we had no intended to trick anybody, as the Elder had not specified, he wanted to grow his own from the taxed produce, but an Elder had the power to not have to care about such details, should they choose not to.
Luckily for us, Cloudbringer reached out and slapped his friend thigh with a snort, before speaking again.
“Leave them alone, Boss. You know you didn’t specify you wanted anything but the fruit.”
“It was implied.”
“I don’t think it was, Boss. Anyway, it’s not like there’s a fruit shortage.”
“Fine! I won’t smash you, this time. But don’t expect any more free fruit.”
Sighing in relief, I wiped a drop of sweat from the side of my face, as did Cad. I had not seen how the others reacted, as I had been focused on the near disastrous interaction, but I could see the others taking calming breaths of their own
“With appropriate alacrity, perhaps we should depart. Thank you both for your hospitality.”
With a bow, Reff gestured for us to leave, but as he did, I caught the faintest of smiles from the supposedly angry Elder and I had a strange thought.
“Guys, you go on, I’ll catch up. Make some noise maybe...?”
“Hunter, we have outstayed our welcome and you are imposing on the Honourable Elder’s hospitality...!”
“Darina, I'll right there, honestly. I’ll be fine.”
The group have me long looks as they started away, occasionally looking back at me, concern on their faces. Once they were out of earshot, I turned back to the two friends, eyebrow raised.
“That was for show, right?”
Rainmaker glared at me at me, his eyes fierce and full of rage; for a moment, I thought I had made a terrible mistake and that I was about to become one with the forest – as fertilizer. But then the great ape broke into a wide grin and I found myself sighing in relief for the second time in as many minutes.
“You might be puny, Puny, but you’re not quite as dumb as you look.”
“Uh, thanks, Rainmaker. That means a lot. I get why the act in general, but why that?”
“It was pretty funny.”
“Boss.”
“Fine! We don’t want every human wandering in and asking for things. We made an exception for you, because you were doing us a favour, and you’re not as smash-able as most humans. But if we just let people wander about in our territory, it would make us look weak. And you don’t want to look weak in the jungle, Puny.”
“But... you’re not weak, you’re one of the most powerful beings in the world.”
“I am, but I can’t be everywhere, even with B-Cloudbringer to help. Apes don’t regrow, and as strong as we are, as a species, there are stronger things out there. But we’re aggressive and work together, so we do fine, even without Elders. As long as other beasts – and humans – know we’ll react with overwhelming force.”
“Human, we’ll go out and fight some things, so the beasts know not to bother us, but humans can be picky. When your friends spread word that we almost smashed somebody who had done us a favour, others will be less inclined to bug us.”
“So do not tell your friends what you figured out, or we’ll have to smash you for real.”
“Uh, sure. Yup. My mouth is sealed, your secret is safe. You were terrifying, I thought I’d die.”
“Good! Now you should catch up to your friends, don’t make them worry more than you have. Friends are important, Puny.”
I gave a small bow and started to turn to leave, but at the last second, I turned back.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come meet the Apex of the Wild Bounty?”
Rainmaker crossed his arms, a stubborn look on his ape-like face, leaving Cloudbringer to answer.
“The Wild Bounty has done a lot for our people, for the forest. If she ever returns, we’ll welcome her. But as we said, our place is here.”
With one last nod, I turned and ran to find my friends, hoping they had not gone too far; I had told them to leave without me, but may have underestimated how fast they moved, and how difficult it could be to find a moving group in the dense green of the jungle.
As I ran, there came a roar like the world fracturing and I stumbled before running faster; I had no interest in finding out what had been responsible for that. Despite my renewed desire to get the hell out of there, I did notice the quiet and the still of the forest in the wake of the sound, and almost jumped out of my skin when I heard a deep whisper right next to my ear as I continued on my way.
“Had to put on a show, Puny. Play along... or I’ll smash you. Also, turn left a bit and keep going.”
“Uh, thanks Rainmaker. Have... a nice day?”
No more whispered words came to me, so turning to my left a little, I ran on, dodging around trees and jumping over dense brush until, a few minutes later I caught side of Reff and Riffa’s tall, pale frames.
They were not going particularly fast, barely at what they could consider a jog, though back on Earth they would moving fast enough to register to most people as a sprint.
“In delicate curiosity, are you well, Hunter? We heard the sound of the Elder’s displeasure.”
“I’m fine, just about. I, uh, asked him if I could take a fruit or breakfast, and he, well, he wasn’t happy. Threatened to smash me, at least twice. Does anybody else feel like running faster? Let’s all run faster.”
I felt bad lying to them, but I was not about to risk his actual wrath, if I could avoid it. Injudicious I may have been on occasion, but I tried not to embrace certain death when it could be avoided.
“I cannot believe you stayed for that, after what he said. Are you an idiot? No, don’t answer that, I know the answer.”
The apprentice looked like she wanted to hit me, but though her words were acerbic, I could see from the look on her face, and from her tone, that they came from a place of concern, though that shifted towards irritation a little when I shrugged in response to her words. Wiser does not always mean wise.