“Penny, you were not intended to sleep on the lazy river.” Tessa chastises me as I wake.
“Then you shouldn’t have given me double’s tubes or installed a lock system to make the laziness continuous.” I plop into the water and climb up the steps to the pool deck. I take the lift to the kitchen spot to find that Tessa has already brewed me a carafe. “I don’t think I tell you I love you enough.”
“You certainly don’t. But we can remedy that when you come to see my projects on Alaris. Alaris, who says you owe ‘a solid’ after the flash mob.”
“Heh, I really do. That was amazing.”
“She wants a ripple cannon.” I swear a bit, under my breath before taking a sip of coffee and collecting myself.
“Oh yah, minor favor. Invent new science for me, bestie, no big!”
“We understand, hon, we also know you can do it. Not like we expect it next week.” This is in line with what Bethany was asking me about too. Miniaturizing the ripple drive would be massive. I really need to upgrade the depth of my space-time knowledge. I’m going to have 12 module credits for my class up. Or do I get double for a tier up? Fuck I’m bad at this. Either way, I really need to find my affinity before I even think about a tier up.
“I agree with you, Penny. Andromeda may have given you an accidentally powerful tool for this tier up in having your affinity integrate with your track if you find it before you check your messages. The tier upgrade is a powerful integration tool in itself, consolidating all aspects of a being for its continued journey.”
“You just want me for my skills.”
“MM, yes. And those sweet, sweet body mods.”
“Tessa! You cad!” I fake cover up and start laughing into my coffee.
“OH MY GOD!. Can you two shut it!”
Instead of saying anything, I walk up the levels to the stairs and to her cot. I shover her into the Lift and take it down to ground. Still dazed by the rough treatment so early, it takes her fifty paces to get her feet under her as I drag her down the colonnade.
“Enough alright? Stop dragging me!”
I pump aether into my muscles and pull her by the shirt to my face and growl, “You will address me and my AI with the proper respect, citizen. Until then, you will be treated like a disobedient mongrel.”
She struggles in outrage, not once does she apologize. “Camacho, I need a witness and a new guard. Ten minutes in the Capitol Commons.”
She struggles the whole time, and when she starts to take her shirt off, I put my hand around her neck and hook my fingers beneath the hinge of her jaw. Take that off, jackass.
“Admiral, Seargeant Camacho Reporting for Duty.”
“Ah, good to hear we stood up a Marine Corps. Congratulations Seargeant. Ensign Moses has repeatedly disrespected me and mine while serving as Private Security. As she was serving in a private capacity, she will not be dismissed from Naval Service. However, officers appointed above her should always be shown the proper respect, so I will be entering a reprimand in her record and recommend she attend a senior officer for six months before being re-admitted to the pilot training pipeline.
“But I.”
“Ensign. Shut up. She saved your career. If you keep talking, or Andromeda help you, fling accusations, you will spend your remaining years exiled to Earth.”
After hearing that, she stops struggling, so I drop her.
“Thank you Seargeant. Please escort this Sailor to the nearest shuttle bound to Alaris or Mercy for further tasking.”
When Speth arrives, he cuffs the Pilot to be, before calling a shuttle down to take her to the Alaris. As soon as they take off, Camacho turns to me, tears off her insignia and puts them in her pocket.
“Sorry Empress, not official Navy or Marine capacity now. Not quitting the service.” I nod before she continues. “Was all that really necessary? It could kill her career.”
“In all honesty, yes. It was necessary for me. I’m tired of all the lying and false-pretenses. She deliberately tried to get close to me by telling me what I wanted to hear, and if it wasn’t for Tessa and a heartfelt convo, it would have worked and my emotions would have been in a blender again. As for her career, my reprimand looks like an authority tantrum, where her punishment to serve as an aide to a senior officer will benefit her career immensely, especially if she learns a lesson. And, it puts her behind in flight school, maybe a year, and she still won’t be the most senior officer in the program.”
“Yeah, that tracks. Permission to speak freely ma’am?”
“Granted.”
“What’s this ‘revelation’ mean for Jenna?”
Deep breath Penny pen pen. “It means, it means nothing for us, really. I still like her, but she’s been standoffish about getting intimate sometimes and I don’t think that she can shake the idea that she thinks I’m going to throw her away at some point.”
“Okay, it doesn’t sound stupid and hurtful, so I won’t do anything stupid either. I just. She’s important to me you know?”
I smile and shake my head. “Yeah, Camacho. I remember.”
We stand there for ten minutes, watching the shuttle fly away and then staring at the horizon and the colors of the sunrise.
“You know your new house looks like a giant bushy pussy right?”
I choke on my own spit and cough and spittle before turning around. I cock my head to the side and then pull up the architechtural view . . . and there it is. “Andromeda no. . . it really does.”
This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.
“Astoria’s manicured cunt, it’s beautiful.” Camacho snorts and bends over to support herself on her knees.
“Astoria’s bristly bush was that terrible.” Camacho snorts and coughs again, now on her hands and knees
“Astoria’s towering clit was that a mouthful.” I can’t help but laugh at that one.
Camacho wheezes and falls over. “Empress, imma die, by your cavernous cunt castle please stop.” She laughs and then groans as her soul leaves her body.
I start laughing even harder and summon a chair to sit in before I fall over.
That’s how Naomi finds us: dying with laughter, ready to be assassinated.
“Are you two high?” She asks warily.
“Ahah, no Naomi. My wife’s AI played a trick on me for the new ‘Estate’. She designed me a Vagina-shaped Villa.”
“Cunt Castle, your Magesty.”
“Vulv-villa sound way better.” We both snap our heads to Naomi with wide eyes.
“Yep!”
“Actually changing the name right now.” I hit a few screens and it’s done. “Naomi, welcome to my Vulvilla!” snort, choke, fall over, and le dead. Camacho joins me.
“Children and Empress, please. A little landscaping will clean this place . . . oh my.” We start snorting and choking again, oh Andromeda, grant us a joyous demise. “There is no way to address this place without innuendo.”
“It’s really quite comfortable on the inside. Oh no!”
Camacho wheezes and gasps and barks more loud laughter. Farewell Seargeant Camacho, I will remember you fondly. Fondle-ly, heh.
“Empress, perhaps we should head to breakfast before your bad jokes actually kill her.”
“Okay, fine, Naomi. Help me get her on the bike. Are you okay get there?”
“My husband can ride? Got a spare bike?” I order her one in my colors and stamp ‘Hover Aide’ on it.
“Oh that’s great! We still live in the Guest House, so he’ll be here in a moment.”
I summon Camacho’s soul back to her body with a bucket of ice water.
“Shit! You fucking . . . Empress, I very respectfully hate your face right now.”
“I cunt do anything about that, I don’t know twat to tell you.”
She snorts and starts laughing again. “Imperial Biiiitch.” She chokes out in laughter as I speed the bike away towards Betty’s Bistro.
Betty’s waitress takes our orders and runs off to ask Betty if they do Mimosas. They don’t but I pay a three hex bottle fee and then all is right with my morning.
>P] Franny, I know I said I’d come to your place, but, I moved the Manor and built a new place. You should see it and I need landscapers.[<
>F] Did you build an orchard Villa? Oh you bitch! I didn’t even get a consult? I hate you, I’m coming over tonight. [<
>P] Easy plant lady. My AI designed and built it, but I may have suggested she keep the Babylon Gardens in mind. [<
>F] Did I say tonight? I will be cataloging your Villa today, and will stop to have dinner with you. [<
>P] Cute. I’ll see you for dinner. Bring the hooch. [< She pings me and ends the call.
“Okay Naomi, what do we have today?”
“We have an Aelea’s got talent type of thing, and caber tossing and bale tossing on your property this afternoon. Consul Mercer has an update he would like to discuss over lunch, and Rich needs a half hour.”
“I’ll feed Rich. Tell me when.”
To my surprise, he’s waiting for us at Betty’s.
“I figured you’d come back here. We need to talk, Astoria.”
“Yeah, yeah Rich, sit your but down, get a coffee and an egg in you and we’ll talk”
He grumbles about upstart children, but takes his medicine.
“Oh, I forgot life of an Empress is insane. Hello Consul of Military Affairs, pleasure to watch you cough.”
“Are all of your consort bull bitches, or do they just leech your shitty attitude?” he coughs some more while he laughs.
“Shit Rich. I need you to advance enough to get off my disability payroll. Stop being a lollygagging Gerry.” I look him over a bit, then ask again, “Seriously though Rich, if you need a mutation to stabilize, I can help you. Don’t make me resurrect you as Miley Sirus.”
“No, Penny. Rupert tells me I’ll hit a cusp of recovery at Tier 2.”
“Damnit. Fine. I trust you. Let me know if I have to pickle you in whiskey.”
He chuckles at that and I’m sad, but somehow lightened? Knowing my friend is going to die, but making him smile is a complicated emotion.
“Empress, you’re scaring the children.” Naomi warns.
“Oh, I’m so sorry. Sad emotions and hard thoughts. Sorry folks.” I see the timid waitress trying to back away. “Can I get your rancher omelet? Thanks sweetie.” She actually squeaked when I looked at her and ran away. Well shit. “Think I’m getting the omelet?”
“Ten to one, Empress.”
“I’ll take that bet.”
“Two hexes in on my two credits that the fear of the Empress gets me food.”
“Has to be the rancher omelet.” A surprising contender from across the table chimes in. Rich’s aide. You’re on kid.
The breakfast goes on as we talk about Naval Affairs, manning the new Capitol ship Galilei. I tell him that it’s a one-off heavy destroyer and we need to start designing a one, three, seven compliment of carrier, destroyer, cruiser, but the old asshole won’t listen. He insists on a two, seven, twenty with one hundred plus skiffs, traders and light interceptors. Bastard has armada in the sky hopes.
In the end they apologized for my food coming out late and they forgot some classic ingredients in a typical rancher omelet so it ended up a wash. Our breakfast is cordial and pleasant, and Rich stops by for a few senior officer promotion recommendations for our pending ships of the line. We don’t have an established Chief’s advancement, so it operates on appointment now too, but I see three names I recognize.
“No fucking way. Ivanka and Petra are on planet?” I whisper at Rich.
“Da. Showed up on the free transport three months ago, asking for the recruiter’s office. They both passed their Allegiance period and are now in the Navy. We need Ivanka as a command chief and Petra is possibly the most experienced combat medic we have. I tried to commission them both, but Ivanka Baiul refused.”
“Thanks Rich. We could use a medical corps. Ivanka would be a good MCPON if she weren’t such a biased harpy.”
“You get it, Admiral, make it happen.”
“I’m your boss you old asshole!”
“Sure thing young’un.” He salutes lazily, snags a plate of appetizers and starts walking away.
“So,” Camacho says, “you let him do that?”
“Hold your shit, Cammy, Rich is twice my age and thrice my experience and he is basically my dad. Tread carefully.”
She luckily realizes I’m not kidding and raises her arms in surrender. “Admiral, I’m not here to offend. I just want to know where the lines are.”
“Me too Camacho, me too. But in this case, it’s clear: Overwhelming respect unless you are family-certain.”
“Well, there go all my housing jokes. Copy, though, Admiral. We all go through rough times. I’m sure you have friends to help you through . . . somewhere.”
“Ha ha. You were this close to Earth duty. Shame you finally took me seriously.” She set to open her maw, but then slapped a hand over her mouth and restricted herself. Lucky girl. “Despite my good graces, ladies, I’m at the end of my rope. I need at least a day unless it’s a national crisis.”
/Ivanka, Petra, you bitches better have dinner with me tomorrow. Please? I miss you both and fuck, I’m so glad you’re alive./ They ping the affirmative and leave me with nothing else.
With breakfast over, and nothing really to do until the caber tossing starts, Naomi, Camacho and I walk back toward the Capitol Commons after stowing the bikes in my shuttle. Naomi wants to start looking around the garden castle and I give her and her husband permissions for the general purpose floors and apartments.
I message Rich’s aide, Rupert and have him ping Commanders and Chiefs and above for promotion recommendations. A brief look at our current forces’ dates of rank I see how necessary a formal system is. I hope Rich knows he can ask for help. He probably knows I would, but is being stubborn about it.
Twenty minutes later, we’re at the park with a growing crowd, people playing frisbee and lawn sports all around the Commons. Something so simple as people using public spaces makes me really happy.