I flew up unsteadily next to my comrade M.G. Mourning Diamond who was coldly and efficiently preparing a large-scale resurrection array for the upcoming battle with the Torment. Though worryingly, it seemed like there was more Torments than command thought there was. Specifically, there is a minor Torment that has one of the most subtle mind influences I have ever felt. It might not have been powerful but...

I grit my teeth in embarrassment as I think about that beautifu- horrendous monster.

“Mourning Diamond, I need you to check me for mind influence. I just ran into what I think was a Torment that specced in mind control.”

M.G. M.D. immediately paused his preparations for battle and rushed over to my side. His slanted eyes looked over me for obvious signs of weaponized corruption. He was the epitome of calm and collected, practically emotionless. Without saying a word, he wept blue diamonds that flowed into a fancy calligraphy over me.

Like always, he puckered his lips down at his ability's usage of tears to form the spell, still finding it weird that he wept spells into existence. I found his hang up childish since he has had been a Magical Guardian for the past three decades, but I suppose his ability is a bit more esoteric than mine. I'm a simple woman. Bigger booms are all that's needed for me.

A blue light radiated off the shining blue calligraphy he wrote, drenching my mind in his magic of Depression, which he had managed to turn into a powerful desire to heal. Ironically, the poor guy’s poor mental health makes him one of the best mind healers among Magical Guardians. It got taken into account by the System, and so now he can heal others of what he cannot heal for himself. His case is pretty abnormal though. Magical Guardians rarely get so shafted, unlike the rest of humanity.

“Everything is all clear, Captain Magical Guardian Sunshine. No signs of Miasma, nor other Essence, besides your own. Analyzing the trace Magic signatures created by prior emotions you have felt, I have come to a different conclusion. From what I can tell, you were naturally besotted with the individual, and their high base Charisma merely accentuated what was already there,” he stated calmly and seriously. "It is likely that this is an outside influence that you fell head over heels for."

I started choking on my own spit.

Curse his lack of tact! I gave him a glare, for all the jack-shit it did. His face might as well as been set in the diamond that was part of his namesake, with his poker face.

*cough, cough*

Unfortunately, my comrade Magical Guardian Fire-Fighter, who had been twiddling her thumbs while she waited for battle, had been right next to us, whooshing around on her flames.

She burst out into raucous, aggravating laughter.

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“BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He told you the facts, girl! You are in luuuuv~” she mocked.

I was deeply unimpressed and gave her a quelling glare, which was far more effective, making her raise her hands in surrender to me.

“Sorry, sorry, sheesh! I’m just trying to find humor after all of the death that’s been going on,” she said, not particularly sorry.

“It’s been rough you know. And you have been a tight-ass since the Torments made this play,” she complained.

“I understand. I apologize. I just worry about that there is some random creature we know nothing about. I believe to be similar to Sirens in terms of levels of attractiveness, and apparently even better in combat prowess. After all, it has survived in a Tormented Zone for so long. The time dilation effect means it has been here for nearly a week and it has lasted that long.” I said, offering an opening for her.

“Yeah. I guess,” she grudgingly assented.

Then dough-girl chimed in.

“Is it really that concerning? I thought that Torments and Anathema are really the only things dangerous to Magical Girls,” asked the noob.

Oh Lord, why did I get I stuck with a Pink noob? It’s like dealing with an anime protagonist all fucking day long: Righteous, dumb, and far too much power than they know what to do with.

How does she not know basic tactics? I knew that when I was her age, a century and a half ago.

I couldn't snap at her though. She needs to be fine asking us if she truly doesn't know. I summoned on my Leadership skill to cool my head, metaphorically and literally.

“A lot of times, you may encounter variables during a fight with a Torment that make the battle far more difficult than it otherwise would be. Case in point." I raised a finger up.

"I blasted the Ninja Dimension's Daimyo of Agriculture out of existence with my usual application of firepower. He was a cultist of the Divine Torment Diarrhea, so he needed to go," I said, accentuating it with a smack of my fist into my palm.

"Unfortunately, the Ninjas couldn't take it like men. So, they gave me a bounty high enough to get assassins all the way out of the Ninja dimension cross-over to hunt my ass down." I explain amicably, but with emphasis.

"An ENTIRE GROUP OF ELITE NINJA jumped me during a routine fight with a weak Torment," I said, starting to raise my voice.

Everyone winced in sympathy at that, with the Pink noob grimacing especially hard. Then I hit them with the second blow.

“I lost BOTH of my arms because of the Ninjas. The Torment, naturally, ate them. It grew so powerful that it achieved Titan status. It demolished the entirety of Detroit before enough Magical Guardians assembled to defeat it.”

“It was the Cannibal Maker.”

The noob opened her mouth, only to think better of it, and thought on it in silence.

After a few seconds to let that sink in, she found her voice. She firmly said “I misjudged the potential danger and I apologize. I appreciate you bringing up something that was so awful for you to go through just to teach me thoroughly.”

Ah. So sweet.

Pinks are so hard to stay mad at.

“You’re welcome,” I say firmly.

“I’m done with the array, S.” barked out M.D.

“Let’s kick ass then, guys.”