Harlan stood and watched as a noble house burned, some baron or another, he was losing track.

He looked down at the ring in his hand and staggered through the gates he needed to get back to the castle.

When he returned to the throne room and added the ring to the pile, the unstable stack clattered to the floor along with him.

When he awoke in a guest room Cynthia was playing with his sword, making whooshing noises with her mouth; the bed post and a few other items had been cleanly cut.

“Oh, you’re awake, and you just missed Adina.”

“You shouldn’t play with that.”

“It makes me feel all tingly.”

“That thing is cursed.”

“Well, it doesn’t bother me.”

“That… makes sense.”

Cynthia tossed it on a table and then jumped into bed with him.

“Remember when you used to have nightmares and I would be there when you slept?”

“Where is this going?”

“I’m happy that you have someone else who can do that for you. Now, you’ve been sleeping for three days, time to get up, lazy bones.”

Harlan shot up.

“That long?”

“And you broke the last room you were in, that’s why Adina is here. You calmed down the instant she got close to you. I think Relly was a little offended that she couldn’t help you.”

“I need to get up, where is she?”

“Go take a bath first. She wouldn’t wash you entirely and your armor didn’t like the maids getting close enough to do that for you.”

“Sure, can you go get her?”

“Rosewell is going to want to speak with you first.”

“You mean Yggdra?”

“Not when it’s just us. Calling her our father’s name creeps me out.”

“Same here.”

Harlan got out of the shower and dried himself off, his hand was still shaking.

“I’m sorry that I haven't had the chance to make your body yet.”

“I don’t want you pushing yourself again so soon.”

Harlan looked inside of himself, his muscles were sore and he could feel minor spasms across his body. His soul was weak, some of its brightness had faded and when he tried to cast magic it hurt him.

“Give me another week. I thought that shifting was fine, that absorbing was limitless, but it’s flawed, imperfect. I’m losing a little bit of myself whenever I use it and it will take some time to get me back to normal.”

“You need to tell Rosewell.”

“No, she doesn’t need to know that I’m vulnerable.”

“She needs to know that you aren’t a machine. You need time to recover and she needs to keep you safe.”

“It would look bad for her if I am out of commission for a week after one night.”

“One night where you killed or forced fealty from dozens of nobles. You went above and beyond.”

“Fine.”

Harlan stepped back out into the room, Rosewell, Safira, and Adina were all waiting with Cynthia.

“Harlan, I’m glad that you woke up. I was worried after the second day that you might not.”

“I’m still not back to my full strength. My body is having trouble maintaining a normal form and my soul is in a state of disarray. Both are the result of my overuse of my shifting.”

He rolled up his sleeve and showed his skin from his elbow up was writhing as he stopped himself from turning into something else.

“Marigold visited, said that you just needed rest and that I was to prevent you from trying to speed up the healing. What of your other bodies?”

Harlan closed his eyes for a moment and a migraine set in.

“We share a single soul, they are useless right now, comatose. I need someone to take me back home so I can recover.”

“No, you will stay here. I’ll have someone bring your family. They-”

“They don’t want to see me.”

“What?”

“After Haldren, when they found out, everyone asked that I stay away while they think about how they feel for me.”

“Would you like me to contact them? Perhaps my good word would tilt the scales.”

Harlan noticeably flinched at the idea.

“Should I contact them?”

“They barely even know you.”

“But I’m your friend, and I’ve never done anything bad to you. They probably don’t even trust Rosewell.”

“Relly, Harlan, don’t do that.”

“Sorry Miss Rosewell.”

“Tell me, do you believe that I should contact your family, or not?”

“I think Relly should.”

“Very well, would you like to be in the room?”

Harlan paced back and forth saying yes or no for minutes on end before Relly left, saying she was going to use the bathroom, but really she contacted his family members.

When she came back he had just decided that he didn’t want to be in the room and Rosewell had begun reading a book while she waited.

“Your parents and Autumn want to talk.”

Harlan took a few deep breaths and began to sweat, yet he felt a chill in his bones that he wasn’t sure was physical or mental.

“What about Ava?”

Relly clasped her hands together and began rocking on her heels.

“I’m sure she will come around.”

Adina stood next to him and grabbed his hand, feeling how clammy and cold he was.

“You don’t need to see them now. You could just-”

“I need to handle this, one way or another, I can’t stay afraid.”

“Yggdra, I would like to be gated to my parents farm.”

“Very well. But don’t do anything rash if… It will be fine, no need to worry.”

“Thank you.”

Cynthia walked with him to the gate room.

She was practically skipping the entire time.

“You seem happy.”

“Things have been wonderful, everyones reactions are so vivid and easy to read.”

Harlan noticed the odd looks she had been getting since they left the room.

He just nodded his head, it made sense to her, and he knew that it did, but Cynthia had always been some form of odd. She loved pranks because of how people would make faces, it didn’t matter if it was fear or anger or laughter, she just liked seeing people react to her actions.

“Don’t be so glum.”

“I’m headed to see if my family is going to disown me.”

“But you’ll have me there.”

She grabbed his hand and squeezed. Adina was still on his other side and raised an eyebrow at how she acted. The two of them had little time to know one another, but Harlan had spoken about her before.

“I wonder, can you even feel this?”

“I can bend steel with my hands and sit in boiling water, but yes, I can still feel that, and I can still feel heat and cold. It’s more like I just hit a limit and then-”

“I want you to remember that you are still just a person, you aren’t a heartless monster for what you did. Your problem is really that you have too much heart, you can’t let things go. So hold my hand and let go of everything else.”

“Thank you for trying, but I’m not sure I’m capable of thinking about that right now.”

“No matter what happens, you’ve got more family than just them. I’d love to have you around the house, Sycamore needs a responsible figure in his life and I doubt his sister is going to be that for him.”

“You’re pregnant again?”

“Maybe, maybe not. Do you want to check?”

They stopped and Harlan placed his hand on her stomach.

He pushed through that pain, like a hot spike in his guts.

“Yep, one baby.”

“Oh? Can you tell, boy or girl?”

“I’m pretty confident in my abilities, but it’s soul is too connected with yours to know just yet.”

Harlan barely made it three steps before he found himself leaning on the wall.

“Would you like me to get a cane?”

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

“I’m fine.”

He had to use his armor to move him like a puppet.

“Do you want to go back to the room?”

“No, now or never, I’ll push forward.”

By the time they reached the farm, Harlan was delirious and ended up on the couch.

Ada placed a wet rag on his head and then used magic to cool it down while Adina explained why Harlan was so sick.

Harlan woke up to find Adina and his mother were by his side.

“How long was I out.”

“Three hours. Cynthia and your father are outside butchering chickens. That woman, she is…”

“Cynthia is amazing, right?”

“That is a word you could use.”

“She never lets anything get to her, she seemingly does whatever she wants and says screw the consequences. She’s…”

“A terrible influence.”

“She was one of the people who kept me from going insane inside of the facility. That devil may care attitude always took a weight off of my mind when Zella or Relly couldn’t be there for me.”

There was a commotion outside.

“She’s a troublemaker.”

He turned his hover up on his armor until he was nearly weightless and tried to fly outside, but Adina and his mother forced him back down.

“I will make sure nothing bad happens to her.”

“I’m not worried about her, it’s whoever she’s arguing with that’ll get hurt. If you can’t get her inside, tell her to remember the cat.”

“The cat?”

“Trust me.”

Cynthia came inside shortly after, followed by Harlow.

She was wearing one of his mother’s dresses and used illusions to hide her royal features.

“Did you tell them?”

“No. That story is between me, you, and Wisteria. But sometimes you can get carried away and I don’t want you causing trouble on my parents farm.”

“But he-”

“No buts.”

“I was-”

Harlan raised an eyebrow, and she stopped.

“I’m sorry.”

Everyone else in the room was confused by Harlan shutting her down like he had.

“It’s fine. But right now isn’t the time to duke it out with a farmhand.”

“I just wanted to help.”

“You probably wanted to see the look on Rosewell’s face when you told her that you were doing farmwork.”

A devious grin and laughter overcame Cynthia.

The look of her was less devil may care and just seemed devilish.

it sent a shiver down everyone else’s spines, they couldn’t tell if Harlan hadn’t noticed or just didn’t care.

Ada decided to start on lunch. She began cutting onions with wind magic like Harlan had taught her to and Adina deboned the chicken while oil heated up.

“You don’t feel well, so I’m making soup and Adina will fry breaded chicken pieces.”

“I don’t think that soup is going to-”

“Hush, comfort food made with love can cure any illness.”

“If Hellon heard that she’d pop a blood vessel.”

“Yes, your healing teacher.”

“Not anymore.”

“Did something happen to her?”

“No, I got expelled. I guess that hasn't hit the rumor circles yet. Too much time spent on the civil war I suppose.”

Ada turned to him.

“That’s ridiculous. You should-”

“I already had this conversation with Adina, I don’t mind, really. Hirum is just applying the rules evenly, like he should’ve been from the start. I’m actually glad that he made an example out of me.”

Harlow hadn’t said a word yet, he was waiting for some lull that could lead into a good joke, but found none.

Instead he spoke up when James woke from his nap.

“He’s grown a lot.”

“You are too young for any of this, it’s not right, any of it. But if we left you, what could come from that?

I’d die regretting that I abandoned my son when he needed me the most, and you’d beat yourself up even more than you already do. This world is broken, but I won’t let it break us apart.”

Harlan made an ugly face as he cried.

Even if his warm welcome meant they likely forgave him, it hadn’t yet been confirmed one way or another.

“Come now, no need for that.”

“I’ve been worried that you’d hate me.”

“We’d never hate you, the most we could ever be is disappointed.”

Then Cynthia started crying and hugging Harlan and the mood turned a bit odd.

“You guys are such a nice family. I wish you were really my brother.”

“Hey, blood doesn’t mean a thing, you are already my big sister. You kept me sane when Zella and Relly weren’t around.”

“Do you want to be godfather to the baby?”

“I’d be honored.”

Like a switch had flipped, her tears dried up and she wanted to try helping with the cooking.

“What an actor.”

“If you could read her emotions you’d understand. She isn’t pretending to be anything.”

“So she just changes at the drop of a hat, and you think that it’s not something to worry about?”

“Of course I find it odd, but Cynthia is Cynthia. That’s just the way she is.”

“Well I want to stay away from that kind of crazy. I’ve known people like that before.”

“Cynthia is a great person when you get to know her. Don’t get scared away by something so minor.”

It was a rather awkward lunch with Cynthia there. She seemed to be in an overly complimentative mood.

“This soup is just wonderful. How did you make it?”

“It is just onions cooked in butter until clear and then with broth.”

“Neat.”

“Have you ever cooked before?”

“Not unless you count alchemy.”

Harlan spoke up.

“I learned to cook from alchemy. Most of making something good is knowing how to put together the right things in the right amounts and giving them the right time and heat.”

“Wonderful. How do you feel about the name Harlana?”

“You are pretty certain that it’s going to be a girl, and I’m not sure you want a kid named after me.”

“Oh no, I’d be naming her after Harlow.”

Harlan kept a stone face as she put a hand on Harlow’s shoulder, but his father choked on his soup.

In the short time that he had spent with her over the years where she would seemingly at random show up to parties or anywhere really, he never found out when she was or wasn’t joking.

“Thank you, but I don’t think that I deserve such a thing.”

She laughed and laughed and laughed, her and Harlan were the only ones who found it really funny.

Once they finished eating and catching up with one another, Harlan had to make another stop.

“I’ll call the royal gate mage.”

“No need, I’ll do it.”

“You can use gate?”

“I’m getting the hang of it.”

Harlan knew the instant that he saw it, that was not the academy gate, that was a true gate.

A raised brow said more than his words would’ve.

“Oh, I talked with Marigold a little and she thought I was interesting. And… nah, I’ll keep that a secret for now.”

Harlan just shrugged, questioning Cynthia wasn’t really something he did. They were friends because they were both eccentrics who believed the other had a good heart and an odd mind.

They had called beforehand, but it didn’t make things any less strange when the entire Redwall family showed up to greet them. Harlan had also neglected to mention Cynthia was tagging along, he knew she would get a kick out of it.

And once they got past her being there and she had her fun, she asked to wander the grounds with Redwall and his grandchildren while Jaramis and Autumn sat with Adina and Harlan.

“Harlan, why don’t we get this out of the way before anything else. We understand what you did, and dad-”

“He convinced you that I’m young and emotional and full of power and it’s the world's fault that I did it?”

“Yeah.”

“I assume Ava didn’t listen when he tried to convince her.”

“Ava is… having a hard time with everything.”

“She’s got a good reason too. And for the record, I like that dad tried, but it feels wrong.”

“Because you hate being forgiven for things?”

“When I do something wrong, I should be punished, instead I avoided it all, made half the nation afraid of me, lost friends, got kicked out of the academy and-”

“They did what? I’ll-”

Harlan half laughed and half cried.

“I’m sorry.”

Autumn grabbed his hands and cupped them.

“You don’t need to apologize to me. That city-”

“There is nothing I can say or do that can ever make that right. I’m sorry for taking up your time, changing you though what happened to me. You never liked parties or fancy dresses, you had a spear in hand as soon as she could. And then I got taken and you became a social butterfly trying to find me.”

Harlan let go of her hands, leaning back out of her range.

“I turned Amber into a soldier and I ruined Ava before she had any idea what she really wanted to be.”

“That wasn’t your fault, we all made our own choices and I don’t regret anything that I did.”

“It is my fault. You all got wrapped up in the plans of a god and it changed everything. Remember when you were 16 and you had a bad feeling about going to the maiden festival? That was her, she told me.”

Jaramis furrowed his brow, but wasn’t sure how to even respond, so he didn’t.

Cynthia burst into the room.

“Harlan, my dearest little brother as of 15 minutes ago. I better not be walking in here to hear you badmouthing yourself.”

“Cynthia, now isn’t the time for-”

“Yes it is.”

“This isn’t a game or a prank gone wrong, tens of thousands of people-”

“Are dead. And I’m sure everyone is telling you to move past it and do good and yada yada. I say that you didn’t do anything wrong, it was just an accident, it can’t be fixed. So move on and do something good because you want to, not because you feel like you need to so you can forgive yourself, because we all know that you would never do something like that.”

She confidently moved towards Harlan, her heels loudly clicking on the floor.

“I’ve read every single report from the academy, every student you helped, every mission you went on, every little rule that you helped put in place. No matter how much good you do, you’ll never feel better. But I know what will.”

“What?”

She pointed at Jaramis.

“Look at how he mellowed out, and think about what changed with him.”

“You think age is going to make me feel better?”

“No, he had kids. Make a new life, realize that you can do something other than killing. But that’s not happening for a while, so I’m making you my midwife.”

“It isn’t going to change anything.”

“It might, and I’m not going to sit here and not try.”

“Thank you.”

“Alright, see you in a bit.”

She was a whirlwind of a woman, and her attitude was infectious, making the rest of the conversation between those left in the room a little easier.

----------------------------------------

Marigold was in the castle to check on Harlan, The Darkness asked her to do so.

When she was done she turned around to leave, and found Cynthia there.

She jumped back a little, very few people could sneak up on her.

“He’s going to be ok, right?”

“Harlan is deeply tired, his transformations left his body in such a state that I’m shocked he is remaining humanoid right now.”

She walked past her and grabbed Harlan’s sword.

“When I first touched this thing. It tried to make me do bad things, it isn’t dangerous to Harlan, right?”

“How can you hold it at all?”

“Probably because I’m strange, or my royal blood, or because I was offered championship. Or maybe it is-”

“Who offered?”

“Calli. But she couldn’t answer my questions. Is it any fun being a champion? In a hundred years, would I just get bored? Would Harlan keep my company?”

“Relationships between champions are volatile, you never know when your god will use it against you. And Calli will use it against you.”

“Alright, that’s it then. I’ll tell her no.”

“Really? That’s it? You’d be immortal, powerful, you’d have a chance to do anything that you wouldn’t be able to do with your mortal lifespan.”

“Maybe, but what if I hurt Harlan? And I’ll watch my children and my children’s children die of old age.”

“Why not talk to Harlan?”

“Harlan wouldn’t get it. He doesn’t have children. Oh, and I meant that I want to stay friends with him, he’s like a little brother, but better, so I don’t think I’d ever see him as a man.”

She blew raspberries and put the sword back next to Harlan.

“I’m just spitballing ideas. I don’t think I wanted to be a champion. I want to love my family and then be done with life. The idea of having a bunch of husbands, knowing that I’d outlive them all, it makes my chest tighten.”

“I see why she wanted you as her champion.”

“It’s for fighters, and I’m a lover.”

“Why don’t I show you a few things anyway, not many people have the determination to actually turn down such an offer, and I think Harlan could always use more allies.”

Cynthia’s eyes went green and she gave her answer.

Calli dwelled on it for less than a minute before she moved on, it happened so quickly that she forgot to even take away the minor gifts she gave to Cynthia.