Harlan sat in his home two days later, his parents and his sisters wanted to have a talk.
“When were you going to tell us?”
“I never planned on telling you.”
“Autumn, how long have you known?”
“Redwall didn’t tell me about this either.”
“Harlan, did you tell him not to tell her?”
“I didn’t need to. I do wonder, how did you find out?”
“I told her.”
“Alright, Balor, how did you find out?”
“Because suddenly my legitimate businesses have been hit, everyone is terrified of you and they are pulling out of deals because they think you are going to go on a warpath for any little slight.”
“I didn’t directly say that I wouldn’t. But if it is any consolation, tell them that I don’t intend to pursue cases of business unless they are related to attacks against me. Your business is your business, I’ve never jumped in to solve anything for you when you lose money on bad deals or because someone screws you within the law. I’ve bankrolled you, and since then I’ve done nothing else except listen to your stories and give you support as a brother.”
“Can I get that in writing? For them I mean.”
“My word is my bond, so putting it on paper isn’t an issue. And, I’m guessing you want it because you aren’t sure you can trust me.”
“I may have had a conversation with Xol, regarding where you are.”
“Then that conversation is done, where I am doesn’t matter, because I am still here. Ava… I know you are upset. I did something unforgivable. I can’t fix it, I can’t ask you to ever want to see me again. If you need something, go to Balor, he’ll get it, if you need something from me, tell someone else to tell me, you’ll get it.”
Ava left the room without a word.
“Everyone else, you can stop pretending that you don’t know what I did. The same thing I said to her applies to you.”
His father spoke up.
“I don’t know what I should say. You made a mistake, it was an accident, but I’m not sure how much it matters. 40,000 people are dead. I think you shouldn’t see any of us for a while, give us some time to think about this. And nobody should tell Amber, she’s still in bootcamp and if she hears about this I’m not sure how she is going to react.”
“I’ve got golems watching her to keep her safe, just in case they believe she is a soft target. And I don’t agree, she needs to hear it from me. Which is why I already told her.”
Harlan let the silence hang for a moment.
“She is upset, but she has known for a long time what I would do, and she can understand why I did it.”
“How did she react?”
“That is between me and her. Do you want me to send you all home with gate?”
“I want a carriage.”
Harlan was now alone with Adina in his living room.
“I don’t think you really told me how you felt.”
“You aren’t Harlan. I don’t know how I feel or if I can be fully honest with you.”
“Me and him split almost an hour after he left that restaurant. Everything, every second before that, we were the exact same person, and that person loved you. I love you. It’s not cheating to be together, we don’t even know what the other me is doing out there.”
“What he does out there is exactly what he would do here. And out there he would never be with anyone else, in here, I won’t do that either.”
“How do we know which one of us is even the original? Is there an original? I just… you know me, I don’t want to see this distance between us because some fucking Fae decided to fuck with my soul and now there is two of me. It would be easy for him to not do anything, because he knows that you are here, and you are always going to wait. I’ve got to see you every day, and know that you don’t love me.”
“You talk just like him, you look just like him, but I just don’t know. I need time to think about this, I wish I could just ask him what the hell I’m supposed to do.”
Harlan’s eyes went black, and then she appeared in the room while time stopped.
“Little Adina, so loyal, I do love that.”
“Why are you here now?”
“Do mind your tone. But how about this, I make you forget that he isn’t the original Harlan, and I make him forget that as well. I make everyone but Xol and Marigold believe that he never left.”
“Why would you do that?”
She seemed contrite, not wanting to answer.
“He asked me to do this.”
“Why?”
“Would he give his life for you?”
“Of course, and I would do the same.”
“Would you wait for him, as long as it takes?”
“What happened? Is he alright?”
“If he would give his life, what else would he give up.”
Adina looked over at this Harlan and sat in silence.
“What do you remember about why he refused to be together with you.”
“He didn’t think he could make me happy.”
“Let me fix that wording, he wanted to make sure you were happy. Sitting here, you are not, and that Harlan right there isn’t either, nor will he ever be. Either you and him get together some day and both of you feel like you are just settling because you have to, or you find other people and neither of you are happy.”
“He really asked you to do this?”
“He hates it, he despised asking me to do this, and yet he nearly begged me to do this, for you.”
The Darkness moved beside her and put an arm around her shoulder.
She was cold to the touch, seeming to sap heat from the air around her.
“He wants you to be happy, and he wants that other him to be happy. You know he is always willing to sacrifice for you.”
“Do it. No, wait-”
Harlan awoke in his bed, next to Adina.
He first checked to make sure they were both clothed.
“You didn’t do anything. You were upset and she slept in the bed to comfort you.”
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
“Why can’t I remember last night?”
“You were looking around the kitchen, you didn’t want Isha to make you anything, and you found a bottle of liquor. It… it had a note on it ‘Sara’s secret stash’ you didn’t take it well.”
“Shit, right. Why is my pillow so wet?”
“You let yourself open up and it made you cry yourself to sleep. You miss her, and you’ve been covering it up with anger and distracting yourself with revenge, but last night you really did just let it all out.
Do you feel better?”
“The gates are open, I need to let the rest out.”
Harlan opened gates until he found himself in the dense forests with nobody else around but monsters,
and he let it all out.
He came back for lunch, a clutch of Lindwurm eggs in hand.
An order which Harlan had to follow was that he had to attend any academy activities as his main mind.
So he was there a week later, and everyone gave him a very wide berth.
“Harlan, I didn’t think I would see you in my classes for some time, are you-”
“Thank you Sepul, but I am alright.”
“Very well. Today we will be learning how to split and change the element of a spell after it has been cast.
Harlan, you have been in advanced element classes since your first year, so I assume you have an inkling of how to do this?”
“I have done this before.”
“Well then, if you have confidence, why not show the class what you can do.”
Harlan used the element he was most familiar with, void, and then, starting from a faint dot, it rapidly changed to radiance.
“Very good, though this class would do better to start with the basic elements, and Harlan, do bear in mind that switching advanced elements is a dangerous game. I only allowed you to continue because I am already aware of what switching void does. For the rest of you, this is known as reverse magic, it is rather simple, and we will be starting with light and dark, each of these are immaterial, unlike water you don’t need to pull it from the air, unlike earth you don’t need to pull it from the ground. So, form a simple light ball, and then watch the mana, pull darkness into it, and see how its environment directly adjacent to it turns dark into light. Mana has two sides, it turns to the opposing element in the right conditions, healing is easier at day than at night because the light of the sun saturates the area in light mana. Once you understand the way that mana turns from one side to the other, you can start to purposely invoke that effect with less mana than you put into the spell. But do be mindful that an incorrect reverse is going to cost more mana than the spell originally costs, and then the only benefit would be if you lack the time to cast another spell.”
Sepul took Harlan aside while the others worked on their magic.
“Are you truly alright? I don’t want you to feel like you must come back, take another month off, grieve if you want to.”
“I will grieve for the rest of my life, but I can’t let it stop me from living.”
“That is no way to live your life, I know that better than anyone.”
“I’m not grieving for Sara, I’m grieving for the city of Haldren. The most I can do is try to bring more good into the world to offset what I’ve done, but the numbers never go down to zero, I can’t unmurder those people. I think that I would rather continue to learn magic than sit here and talk.”
“Perhaps, but it would be better to be around your family.”
“Everyone agreed to stay away from me for a while, think about what I’ve done, if they can even forgive me for it. I… I don’t think Ava will ever talk to me again, and I don’t blame her.”
Sepul couldn’t show emotions well in his disguise, but Harlan could feel it, he was upset at the news.
“Dinner then, I’ll bring my other apprentice. You can bring Adina, if you’d like.”
“I will ask her. But I’m not sure if she wants to be around other people if the topic goes to that.
She didn’t have as long as some of the others to know Sara, but they got close. And I don’t think she wants to-”
“HEY, IS THIS A CLASS OR NOT?”
Harlan skipped to the man, Sepul right behind to stop him, yet Harlan did not attack him, instead he wrested control of the man’s magic from him.
“Reverse magic is not a spell, it is a method by which you turn a spell into another near identical spell of another element. If you put a drop of color in a bucket of water, the water does not contain the dye, the dye spreads and turns the water to another color, the mana is the dye, and your spell is the water.
Magic is the mind, sometimes what you need is not a scientific answer, but a way to see yourself getting a result.”
Harlan turned light to dark in waves, in stripes, and kept it half and half.
The man tried only for a few more minutes before he understood the process.
“And if you interrupt me like that again, I’ll show you what happens when you reverse heavenly fury.”
Sepul then stepped in to mediate, reversing that spell was not easy, nor were the results nice.
Between classes, Harlan spoke with Adina, and they both went to the gate office for Sepul to pick them.
“That is a nice dress.”
“Thank you.”
When they reached his home a wonderful smell wafted through the air.
“I hope you don’t mind, an old friend and his sister will be joining us for dinner.”
“John?”
“How did you guess?”
“I’ve seen you with only a handful of guests, John was among them, and Jane is his sister.
You trust her, and you trust him.”
“So you keep track of my guests?”
“Of course I do. How else could I keep you safe?”
“Very funny, please, come to the dining room. And, don’t get separated.”
Adina whispered to Harlan.
“Why does that sound like a threat?”
“Because not every door and hallway leads to the same place twice. This house is full of distorted space.”
When they sat down, Harlan was told to sit on Sepul’s right, and Elsa, his apprentice, on his left, Adina sat next to Harlan and across from them was John and Jane, leaving an empty seat to Adina’s right.
“I hope things are to your liking, pork tenderloins pounded, breaded, and fried, you can assemble your own sandwiches I hope? Every sauce is labeled, but I do like honey mustard and mayonnaise.”
“You mean white sauce?”
“Harlan, I am not going to get into what you said was wrong, but white sauce refers to a simple sauce made of flour cooked in butter to make a sauce base. This is a sauce which is white, but Jane takes her cooking very seriously, so if something is labeled one way, say it that way.”
“Alright. Do you want to talk about-”
“Eat first. Let’s not bog down discussion with terrible things and ruin your appetite.”
Sepul seemed to be in a good mood, but Harlan felt something was off.
They enjoyed themselves for a time, and the bottle of drink on the table started to look quite good to Harlan, but he knew he shouldn’t. Whatever happened last night, he felt better, but that was not what he wanted.
If he was to grieve, it should be something he remembers.
“So, how did you and John meet?”
“John, why don’t you tell it, I’m no good with stories.”
“Now that is a lie, but I’ll play along. My sister and I were born and raised in a frontier village that just never seemed to get better, everyone around us seemed to grow into towns, but we broke down.
Our parents died on a trading run, we lost the house, and my sister was being dragged off to work for the guards as a plaything. Sepul showed up as a healer, nobody knew who he was, but then suddenly he defended Jane and killed the guard who was dragging her away. Ever since then, he has been like a father to me and her, I wouldn’t be an archmage, hell, I probably wouldn’t have made it past 20 if I never met him. And I know him well enough to know where this is going, and when it does go there, forgive him.”
“John, I think you may have gone a bit too far there. I have nothing that I want Harlan to-”
John just gave him a look.
“Harlan, I do have something to tell you, and I should’ve said it before, but right now you are not in a right state of mind, and I think that it is best for me to continue to hide this from you.”
“And if I say that I want to hear it?”
Sepul didn’t reply, everyone just sat in an uncomfortable silence. Then Elsa broke it.
“You are my brother. My real name is Elise. Sepul told me that you don’t have your family anymore, you need someone by your side who is family and not just a friend.”
“Give me your blood, I want to just check since I’m having a hard time trusting people right now.”
“Very well.”
When the two vials were filled, they glowed somewhat dimly, showing they shared only a single parent.
“How did you find me?”
“Sepul knew our mother, once he realized who you were he came to me.”
“But he didn’t come to me.”
“When would’ve been a good time? You are a magnet for disasters, Sepul was just trying to protect me.”
Harlan took a deep breath.
“Sepul, I know why you wouldn’t tell me, and I understand. So, Elise, did you ever meet your mother?”
Sepul looked at the pair, he could tell how happy Harlan was, but more than that, he could tell how vulnerable he was, and how Elise would take advantage of him.
The question for him was, would he warn him, poisoning their relationship before it started?
Or would he keep his mouth shut and pretend that she wasn’t going to use him?
----------------------------------------
Sneaking into the home of a man to plant a note and a bottle was never something he thought he would need to do as the attack dog for a god.