Arc 1: Foundling

Chapter 1:

I had been someone, in the grand scheme of all of time and existence, there was a brief spark upon the canvas of creation, and it had been me. It loved, it laughed, it played and it cried. It was an existence that even in its brief flare of time, had never fit in with those around it. Its body didn't fit its soul, and its brief turn was spent simply trying to correct that and live a life of peace, only to be held back by everyone and everything around it. The world hated that spark that had been me simply for being different. It had broken at a young age and never truly recovered. There were good times, still, and far more bad than seemed fair. There was heartfelt love and deep depression. And there was pain, so much pain. There was one, brief, all consuming moment of fiery agony, the staccato rhythm of breaking, tiny piece by tiny piece, under the fire and fury of hate, then there was an ending. It was a feeling of every single cell in my body tearing itself, screaming, away from its neighbours, and I came apart, the brief flicker that had been a person on the endless black of the cosmos left a body of matter, and went somewhere else. Somewhere only of energy.

There was the feeling of a river, a great tidal swell of life that circulated. Somehow, the person that had been me at the time knew that if I had entered those waters, all that had made me, well, me, would be washed away by the soothing tide. I would ride that current until it deposited me in a new place, in a new body and a hopefully more happy life. I welcomed it, I remember, and fell with countless others toward its flowing current.

Then there was a shift. A ripple. The tide of the river surged and retreated and moved and suddenly, I was falling past it, reaching out with desperate hands that were even now coming apart, reverting to pure energy, as I fell past the waters, and into the black. There were others - I saw their brief flickers of light, their souls I believed, drift into the black, and grow so small, so distant, that they faded entirely. Then I was alone.

For the longest time after that, there was nothing. Who I was, who I had loved, who had stood beside me and fought against me, everything that had ever mattered to me, was swallowed by the black, soundless void of absolute nothingness that was all there was in every direction that had ever existed. I curled in upon myself - not that I had a body, or even, as time passed, the idea of what a body was, but what was, what I thought of as me, curled in upon itself and spiralled. As time passed, I curled tighter, and folded, and brought myself down smaller, and harder, and smoother. Until all that was left in that void between realities, where not even true thought could travel between neurons that had possibly once existed; was a shiny, bright, marble, floating in the black; All that was left of what had once been me.

I could not possibly say how long I was there. It could have been minutes, or it could have been several times the span of the existence of the universe. All I could tell you is that I dwelled there for long enough that time itself lost all meaning to me. The bright flickers of the life I had known didn't fade, but they crystallised, under the unending pressure of the black. They hardened to a bright diamond at my core, so solid that I couldn't even access them. But I knew they had been important and I held them close; a bright, indestructible grain of eternity in the tiny black marble I had become. Like that I drifted, endless, thoughtless…Alone.

When change came, though, it came again with fiery agony, with pain unlike anything I could describe. I wanted to scream but had forgotten what a throat was, let alone how sound was supposed to travel from the part of me that thought to the part of me that experienced. I writhed, and though I did not have a body to do so, I attempted to claw, to fight, to push back against the experience of existing in so much dire agony.

“Softly. Softly, little one. That’ll be enough of that, I think.” Something spoke, though with no concept of what ears were I do not know how I heard, and the pain vanished as though it had never been. I felt the touch of something vast, a fingertip against the bright core I had kept within me, and I felt its surface soften.

Moreover, I understood that something had spoken and I understood what speaking was. The concept bloomed into my mind like a flower in the desert, and around it a whole forest of ideas and concepts and memories awoke. The star at my core gave off light and that light informed me of so much that had been wrapped up and hidden away to keep it safe, to keep it from fading into nothing.

I knew what flowers were and what desert was, I understood forests and…and…panic started to roil in what might have been a stomach, if I had had one, and the cold fingers of a panic attack clawed up the idea of a throat. I remembered that I had died. I remembered the hideous laughter of those who hated me for simply existing as other to them. That the pain had been from when they…from…

I remembered the brief sensation of rain, and twin points of light in the slick dark. I felt the falling fists and the kicks of heavy boots. I felt my blood in the slick concrete… But it became indistinct, it drifted away, like smoke on the evening breeze, and I suddenly couldn’t remember what had happened any longer.

“Even I am not so cruel as to make a soul live through their worst moments over again. For what it is worth, I believe it was quick, in the end.” I didn’t have eyes to see, but somehow I still perceived a presence in the void with me. A humanoid figure of soft white light, with long hair and the outline feathered wings floated before me. I saw, if it can be called that, that within the white, there were cracks and fractures, as though the figure had once shattered. But something thick, and heavy and golden had sealed those flaws and created something more than it had been before. Its head was vulpine, almost fox-like though not quite. There was more human blended with the animal, even if its exact features were indistinct. Though I could not make exactly what this figure looked like, I knew that rather than fierceness, it radiated kindness toward me - or at least a facsimile of it. I felt that I had experienced false kindness a lot in whatever my life had been, and I had learned not to trust the expression.

It stood, or floated in the space before me, drifting on some ethereal current that might or might not have existed. It could have been male, or female, but was somehow neither and both, and while the voice was kind, or perhaps sorrowful, I could not tell either way as to where it belonged on a scale. I felt the marble that was me expand, and reach outward toward the something near me - the very existence of something in this void calling out to the hollowed out core of what may once have been a person. As I reached for the apparition, it resolved until it took on a definitive form, seemingly responding to me and my thoughts about it until it was very much female, tall, lithe and welcoming. “Poor little flower, you are truly not where you are supposed to be. Most curious,” The figure moved as if they were lowering into a chair, and the blackness warped around them, until it had shaped itself as such. There was nothing there, mind you, but somehow a portion of the void simply was told that it should be a chair now, and so the figure sat upon it.

I felt at the same time, that, though I lacked any sort of a body to feel it, i thought that i could still sense the presence of a chair beneath me as well, and arms that didn’t exist felt the padded armrests beneath them as I sank into a soft, and comfortable seat made of the Nothing around us.

I was in pain, and then I wasn't. Was that you? I remembered speaking, remembered how to form words and to push air through my body to make sounds that became words, but I lacked any ability to do that here, yet the very thought of the words I wanted to make still travelled, and the shape nodded. “I have found that screaming and pain do so little for the universe, that taking it away in order for us to talk was simply a safer - and more expedient - option than letting you work your way through it. Healing can come in time, but it is not conducive to this endless moment” The figure raised an arm and the void spoke and said it was holding tea in a cup, although it was still just the blanket of nothing in all other aspects, still, it brought it to where its face should have been and drank, before speaking again. “It is rare to find a soul so far from the River of rebirth and reincarnation. It is even rarer for those souls to be found by me. And yet, here we are. Yet, to look at you and this form of me, it seems somehow fated.”

Where is here? And who are you? Who am I for that matter? I searched around in the endless black for something - anything - else to orient to, but there was nothing here but us.

“I have been called many things, on many worlds, by many different kinds of people. To state them all would take far longer than we have, and much of it would mean nothing to you, I'm afraid. For now, this form of me has been called Kintsuji. I am an agent of renewal, and have sometimes been called a god. This is a between space: somewhere that is both everywhere and nowhere all at once.” the figure steepled their fingers before where their muzzle might have been, had they a more definite shape. “As for you, my friend. Well, you are no one, or at least, given the correct order of things, you should have been.” The figure readjusted themselves on the seat and leaned forward, their face coming closer to state into my core. “Whoever you were died, and you should have been washed back into the River, to separate and recombine and become someone new, somewhere else. The fact that you didn’t do that is something that I have seen so rarely in the span of all my millennia that it might as well be unique. “ Stardust recombined and tried to form the image of a body around me. But something within me saw the forming image, the length of the limbs, the thickness of the shoulders, flatness of the chest and roundness of the belly, and rebelled. I had fought that image for too long and if I had to choose between that and nothing, I would choose nothing. With a heave, the stardust scattered, and for the briefest moment, gathered into another form. Smaller, slighter, with long hair and rounded curves, but whatever surge of energy had given way to allow me to form the image dissipated, and the stardust vanished. The figure looked at me with a kind aura, and nodded slowly, as though understanding something deeper than it had before.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

“I see. Perhaps you were one of mine all along. Then it is my failure that you were never guided to your next life. For that, little one, I am truly sorry.” Eyes that didn't exist closed,vand the vulpine head bowed, ever so slightly, in remorse. “As you are here, however, you fall under my purview in new ways. My domain falls under broken things reforged, you see. I take what was shattered and remake it into something stronger. Whether that be a bowl fallen from the table, a sword shattered in battle, a life brought to ruin…or a lost soul who has drifted for so long as to become something more - and less - than mortal.”

If You want something from me. I have nothing left to give. The thought was sorrowful, and I had the flash of memory of many people over a lifetime far too short, who had only noticed me when they wanted something, only to discard me as soon as they got it. I felt I had led an unhappy life, but whatever true memory led to that was dull and faded, just impressions smeared against foggy glass.

Though it had no mouth, not even the impression of one, I felt the shape of a smile, and it was mostly a show of teeth. If I had had the body to do so I would have shivered. “Well, yes, I do. All things, even gods, want something or other. In your case, however, I wish to offer you my gifts. Of the broken, reforged.” it sat back in its impression of a chair, and the wings behind it fanned out in a corona that was somehow still distinct from the glowing figure, despite the fact that they were all made from the same soft, sourceless white light.

“I was travelling to a world that is in dire need of renewal, of transformation, before it becomes too stale, and no longer capable of change. With something the size of a world, in order to reforge something stronger, it first needs to be broken. I had thought to ferment a few wars, set off a few natural disasters - a plague or three would help. But then I met you, lost and alone out here. While it does not change my plans at all, I have no agents in the world - no churches or temples to solidify my place there. It makes my work harder, and the changes necessary would need to be much more catastrophic.” The figure spread its hands and that impression of a smile was back again. “So I thought to myself, what if there were a kinder way. A catalyst that I could begin with, a stone thrown into the pond, from which I could watch as the ripples spread?”

You want me to destroy a world? I felt that, whatever I should be feeling about such a statement - whether repulsion, ridiculousness, or something else, was strangely absent - locked behind the same barrier that was keeping the memories of my death at bay. I only knew that it didn't sit correctly with me, and that the scale was far, far beyond me.

“Heavens no! One mortal soul?” The voice chuckled, and it was a mirthful sound. “No, whatever your ambitions, I believe that would be too much. No, my mortal friend, I simply wish you to be an anchor point. A chink in the weave of this world around which change can come to pass. I create change, and whether that change happens now, or in a hundred, thousand years by a worlds’ count, it doesn't matter to me - it will still happen, and I will watch it and shape a new age for this world from it. All I want you to do is live a life down there, and be a link for me to its core. This would even be helpful to you. It would recenter you to the River, and allow you to pass on after your next life is through.” I shifted uncomfortably in my not-seat, and tried to think how best to respond. I don’t think anyone had ever thought of me in my previous life as useful; But a tool, to be used and discarded? That, I felt, I had been to plenty of people - though, again, the softly blurred impression of many faces laughing at me, both to my face or behind my back, floated through what might have been my mind, leaving no clearly defined memory behind.

I don’t know if you really want me for that task. I don't know that I was useful to many people in my last life. Is there an alternative? I want to help you, but I don’t know that I will be of use to you like that. I didn’t know if I was being rude, but everything was so muted and dull. I felt a large part of the person I used to be just want to give up, to return to the nothingness and not have to worry over being anything more than what I was now. A tiny, insignificant dot on the canvas of night, with no thoughts, concerns or people to disappoint. I felt very strongly, all of a sudden that it was that voice that had led me here in the first place, and in a sudden burst of emotion that I didn't have time to name, I railed against it. Anything but that, I thought. For once, anything but that.

“Oh, there are always other options. You could return to the River and cease to be, you could remain here and drift for another eon or three till someone else stumbles upon you. Or, you could accept my offer, retain a sense of who you were before, and gain a chance to live another life - free of all obligations from the past.” It cocked its head to one side. “Think about it. Do you remember your name? Your family? The specifics of all the little hurts that brought you down?” I thought about it and realised that no, I didn't. The impressions were there, true. I could remember much - food, drinks, places, games, hobbies, books - I could remember a whole world. But I couldn't remember anything about who I had been inside of it. Not clearly at least. Thoughts, impressions, half seen images were all that was left. I…I don’t know.

“You are most welcome. See now - imagine all the things you know, and could bring to an entirely new world, while being completely free of any obligation to the world you left.” The shape raised its not-cup again, only this time it gave the impression of being a tall stemmed wine glass, which they tipped toward me, before taking a long and slow drink of what I thought of as deep, red wine.

I thought of all the things I could remember - of art, and music, and theatre, and stories. Of games and engineering, of technology and everything else that was suddenly crystal clear in my mind, that I had lived and read and experienced. I realised that the part of me that had wanted to give up was quieter now, with the memories of who I had been locked away. I realised that I didn't want to cease being. “Tell you what, as I am generous and this sounds so very fun. I will sweeten the pot, and I shall create in the world a Boon for you. Something to help and guide you to succeed in life - over and above whatever you could manage without it. Your previous life was your breaking - and here you sit as so much potential. I wish to make you stronger through your reforging - and see to what heights that will help you climb.” Kintsuji smiled that impression of a smile again, but it was warm this time - seemingly without guile, and though so much of me wanted to distrust this creature, who sounded like so many of the false faced bullies I had found in life, so much more of me didn’t want to stop being me.

Alright. I’d…I’d like to try. The figure clapped its hands and the sound was a sudden jolt to me, and I felt myself falling. The not-chair beneath me vanished, and though there was no up, or down, or distance here, I could suddenly see that I was truly falling away from the figure with the nine tails. “Excellent choice. Now, remember - that which breaks can be reforged stronger. Good luck, little one. And if this works out, who knows? Perhaps we shall work together again in the future.”

With those last remarks, I was falling faster, and my point of view changed, away from Kintsuji and toward something. I descended into swirling light, into colour, into matter. I felt a breach and suddenly there was pressure against me. There was light everywhere. Tiny points of it, clouds of it drifting in the black, and I realised they were stars, nebulae, a whole universe laid about me and I was passing it so quickly that it was a blur. I flew past suns, through clouds of energy and proto matter. I passed great creatures in the black, and ships the size of moons. I descended through the domain of gods, and titans and kings, and saw wonders uncountable, from planets that rained glass, to ones that were made of diamond. From creatures like immense wales that swallowed asteroids, to a war fought in the dead of space by armies of gods and angels. My mind blanked and the sheer vastness of it all boggled me, before I felt that I was slowing down.

A planet sped toward me, still faster than I could comprehend, and suddenly it was before me. A vast marble of blue, and white, brown and green, and I was falling into it, toward it. Through the atmosphere, through clouds, down and down further still. A vast landmass appeared before me, golden brown with scatterings of green and pale spots of rich blue. I saw deserts and oases, forests and great cities. I saw a vast sandstorm that reached all the way to the upper stratosphere, and I flew into it. My vision was reduced to blinding sand, drenching water, and roars of thunder and lightning.

The storm parted as I neared the ground, and I slowed to almost a crawl. Suddenly, there was a bubble before me. Golden and ruby energy held a sphere of calm wrapped around a caravan pulled by strange, gigantic lizards and three people, all laid out on the sand, on the shore of an oasis. One held his hands to a blocky crystal and stressed and strained, pouring some energy into it from his hands, the act seeming to drain him of something vital by the second. One, a woman, lay on her back, knees propped and spread, and moaning low and long as she seemingly forced herself through painful contractions; and the last, a bald man dressed in pale brown robes and leathers, kneeled before her, with encouraging words as her moan became a scream.

I was drawn down further, between the two, to a small, wrinkled, bloody form that was even now being lifted clear of the woman. It was tiny, with slick, colourless hair covered in viscera, eyes squeezed shut and just beginning the process of taking a deep breath to wail and cry. But something in me saw it and knew that it was empty, that though it held the spark of life, there was no true driving force yet. That would be me, I knew. I was being born again as a baby, and experiencing it first hand.

I felt myself drawn into it, and settled my spirit, my soul, somewhere behind its closed eyes, in a space that seemed made exactly to fit the me that used to be someone else. I felt my heart beat a sudden pounding rhythm, and my tiny lungs drew their first breath, and I wailed, screamed and cried, as I was placed in the arms of a woman with long, pink hair; With red, puffy cheeks and startling green eyes full of tears. I screamed, and wailed, and cried in both terror and joy. As I looked at my mother, she looked at me, and we were bonded, there and then, eternally.

Overhead, Fire, Earth, Air, Water, Metal, Wood, Darkness and Light tore through the world, and I felt something within me touched by the raw powers beyond the soap thin bubble that kept us safe. But here, right now, I was safe, and alive, and somehow present.

My head flopped to one side in my mothers’ arms, and I felt the sharp pinch of something around my navel being cut. But more than that, I looked in sudden clarity as something glowing blue came walking through the bubble from the storm, walked right up to our little group of crying babies and adults, and sat down on its haunches, unseen and unnoticed by the group at large.. A fox made of pale blue fire sat there, and smiled a vulpine grin up at me as I was cradled and cleaned. I reached out a pudgy, tiny hand, and the fox touched its nose to it. I felt another part of myself connect to the creature, feeling it reach out and that this fox - this fox that I suddenly Knew was called Boone, I thought with a sudden sigh and a rolling of my eyes, if only internally - was as much a part of me as my own skin, blood and bone.

“My mother thinks she is hilarious,” The fox spoke, and though there was no actual sound, I heard it all the same in my head. “I look forward to working with you, little one.”

Welcome, Citizen, to the World Of Axis. Move ever Forward: Achieve ever greater deeds

Words trailed across my eye line in golden text, but i had no time to contemplate them, as i fell asleep, both for the first time in countless aeons, perhaps, and for the first time ever, to the sight of my mother and two men looking at me with nothing but love and pride.