I go back to resting in my comfy bed, this is so much nicer than the cave I think to myself dozing off to sleep. WAIT THE CAVE; ATHENA! The thought of Athena causes my half-asleep brain to jolt awake I quickly scan the room for Athena. Fuck where is she!? Is she okay? Is she alive? Is she hurt? My breathing starts to accelerate.
***10 Years Ago***
"Gael, why did you hit your sister?" Mom asks "Mom she stole my book and threw it in the lake!" I complain "That's because you won't play with any of us! You're stuck in those stupid books you don't even want to play with any of the other kids in our class!"
"You're going to grow up alone!" Athena yells "Like I care! Don't do that again!" I yell back "No you should play with us!" Athena yells
"guys calm dow-" Mom tries to speak
"I don't want to play with you!"
"You're going to be alone forever you jerk!" Athena yells
"I wish Mom never adopted you!" I yell back causing the entire room to go silent. Athena was stunned, her eyes started to well up with tears "Fine-" Athena tried to hold back her tears "THEN I'LL LEAVE!" Athena runs out the door crying. "Wait, Athena!" I tried to call her back but she had already run out of our house.
I faced my mom who wasn't angry but just concerned "Gael, why did you say such a thing?" she asks "I-I just go-t mad." tears of my own started welling up in my eyes "did you mean it?" she asks. I quickly shake my head. "Good, remember Geal, she's your only sister in the world. The only reason she wants you to play with her and her friends is so you can get friends of your own. She's just worried that you'll get lonely" Mom says "I kn-ow" I sniffle "Good" Mom says with a smile. she pats my head, "Why don't you go look for her?" Mom says "b-but what if sh-e Wh-at i-if she says s-he do-esn't wan-t to ta-lk to me" I ask breaking into a sob
"Gael if your sister would come back and said she was sorry she through your book in the river would you forgive her?" Mom asks "Of course!" I answer. The answer was obvious why even ask? "then why don't you think that your sister won't forgive you for what you said?" Mom asks causing me to pause "b-ut I wa-s m-mean" I admit with shame. "That's fine, family forgive each other for things like these," Mom says "But sti-" Mom cuts me off "Do you want Athena to never come back?" Mom says making my eyes go wide in fear. I quickly shake my head once again "Then go get her" Mom says pushing me toward the door.
I go up to the door and look back "I'll get her back!" I say with determination and rush out the door. now that I was outside I realized how many places Athena could have gone. Where do I even start? I noticed a few people walking by; Shelly, the woman who walks her dog through this route, was walking by. Should I ask her? I opened my mouth, but something caught my throat. I try to speak again; no words come out again. I never talked to this person before. She hardly knows me. Why would she tell me anything? I should just look by myself.
"Do you want Athena to never come back?" the words reverberated in my head "Umm excuse me, Mrs. Shelly," I find the courage to speak. Mrs. Shelly pulls her earbuds out of her ears "Oh Gael, what a nice surprise; how are you?" she says with a smile "I-I'm fine, have you seen Athena?" I as her dog walks around my legs "ahaha he likes you" Mrs. Shelly laughs "Athena went that way" She points in the direction of the park "Thank you!" I say with a bright smile and dash towards the park; the dog barking at my sudden sprint.
As I approached the park I saw Athena with a group of her friends hanging out by the slide. "Athena!" I yell. Athena jolted up and looked at me; she quickly ran into the woods. "Wait!" I screamed, but as I reached the playground Athena had already vanished into the woods. I try to catch my breath, but Kevin, a kid who had a crush on Athena for a while, stops me.
"Did you really tell Athena that she shouldn't have been adopted?" the boy asks fuming "No" I say on instinct looking away "Look at me when you say that," he says. However, I continue to avoid eye contact "I SAID LOOK AT ME!" Kevin shoves me to the ground "I'LL ASK AGAIN! DID YOU TELL ATHENA SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ADOPTED!" he screams
"Kevin, maybe you should cal-" a girl tries to speak up "SHUT UP SALLY" Kyle shuts her up. His eyes had a savagery to them, I don't think it matters what I say, I'm going to get beaten up either way. If I'm going to get hurt whether I say I did or didn't, I might as well admit my mistakes.
"I-I did" I speak mildly. Kevin slowly looks at me with murder in his eyes
I gulp "I knew it." he says before he slugs me in the face causing me to fall into the dirt. Kevin then started pummeling my face further into the dirt, drawing blood from several places. The kids start screaming, while Liam, a friend of Athena's, comes to try and stop Kevin from pummeling my face in; He pulls Kevin off of me "Kevin, calm down!" Liam yells "I'LL KILL HIM" Kevin screams "IF ATHENA SHOULD'VE NEVER BEEN ADOPTED THEN YOU SHOULD'VE NEVER BEEN BORN" He scowls
"God damn, calm down will you," Catie says while playing on her PSP "We don't even know half of what happened. Before you go murdering people, maybe you should try and get the full context first," she says with a furrowed brow as she quickly smashes a few buttons
"NO SITUATION WOULD MAKE SAYING SUCH A THING OKAY!" Kevin scowls
"I mean, I guess" Catie shrugs
"LET ME GO LIAM, ARE YOU GOING TO LET HIM OFF WITH SAYING THAT ABOUT OUR FRIEND" Kevin thrashes around in Liam's grasp. Liam looks at me while holding Kevin "Why were you looking for Athena?" he asks
"I-I I was w-well, I-"
"SAY IT ALREADY" Kevin yells causing me to flinch
"Shut up" Liam puts Kevin in a more uncomfortable hold
"I was going to apologize" I manage to bring out my sentence despite all my shame and embarrassment. Liam smiles, "I told you!" accidentally tightening his grip on Kevin, causing Kevin to yelp "Oops my bad," he lets go of Kevin.
Kevin rubs his neck and clicks his tongue "Can I punch you one more time?" Kevin asks significantly more calm since Liam is there to stop him. "Dude no, look at him he's already bleeding in several places," Liam says.
"Let me have it," I say holding my ground, causing Liam to look at me dumbfounded.
Kevin winds up a punch and swings sending me back into the dirt. I got back up stumbling; I was a lot more disoriented than I expected to be. The world was spinning, and there were multiples of everyone. This is what I imagined alcohol did to people; I never thought I'd experience it though. even though it's not alcohol that did this to me, but the anger of a lovesick 7-year-old.
"you okay?" Liam asks to which I just raise a thumbs up in response. "umm well, we can help you look for Athena if you want." Liam says "Uhh sorry my mom said not to go into the woods, she says it's not safe, and I could get lost," Sally says
"Me too"
"And me"
One after another people were choosing to not go into the woods, and I honestly couldn't blame them "Will you be coming, Catie?" Liam asks his sister "Nah, I'll pass; I'm not really feeling it"
"I'll come along," Kevin says "Thanks," I say with mixed feelings "So, it's just us three, huh," Liam says. "yup, anyways let's go" Kevin marches into the woods with me, and Liam following behind.
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We searched the forest together for a while. However, we were finding little progress being made in finding Athena despite Kevin and Liam's yelling as hard as they could to find her; I didn't yell however because they were already yelling in tones far exceeding my own, so why should I strain my voice for nothing?
The more we traversed the forest the more the forest seemed endless. I was getting jaded to trees; they had all started to appear the same at this point. I had no idea where we were, nor how to get back home from here.
"You guys want to try to split up to find Athena?" Liam suggests making me anxious "Yeah, sounds good," Kevin says "If we can't find her by--" Kevin glances at his phone "6:00-8:00 pm We should just go home," Kevin says and starts walking off in a random direction. "Alright since Kevin went that way; I'll go that way" Liam points in the opposite direction. "Gael, you can look that way" Liam points in another random direction.
I did not want to be alone in the woods so I tried to bring up a conversation "How do you know my name? I don't think I ever told you my name" I say actually a bit curious. "Athena talks about you," Brandon says "From how she talks I can tell you guys are just typical siblings; if anything you guys are pretty close for siblings," Brandon says making me raise a brow "What has she talked about?" I ask "She's talked about how you love reading; how you have different stages of mood swings when it comes to how tired you are; how you avoid human interaction like the plague; how you're doing terribly in classes despite being one of the smartest people she knows; etc. etc." Liam says
"That's not a lot of good stuff," I say "Yeah, but it shows she pays attention to you, and it's not like she's not trying to understand you. The reason why Sally is in our friend group in the first place is because Athena approached her in hopes she may be your friend in the future, and so Athena might learn to understand where your love for reading comes from. that's more than most siblings" Liam says.
I felt like I had come to understand how much I mattered to Athena, but how much did Athena matter to me? Have I ever even tried to understand her perspective or her interests? Was I really that much of a jerk?
"Liam let's find her," I say firmly "Uhh yeah, that's why we're here," he says confused "Good luck anyways," Liam says "You too pal," I say with newfound enthusiasm "Uhh okay?"
I march in the direction which Liam had pointed. I didn't care if I got lost or whatever, I just wanted to find Athena regardless of the cost. I could hear Kevin and Liam shouting Athena's name; this time I participated in yelling her name.
A few hours later, we had still found no sign of Athena. The sun was starting to come down and Kevin and Liam had yelled from the depths of the forest at one point or another that they had to head home, I was alone in the forest, still yelling Athena's name. After a bit more time searching, I came across an open meadow with a nice yet old treehouse in the center. wait is this? Dad would talk about how he built a treehouse with his friends in a forest clearing and put a big flag on top to ask Mom to prom. is this the same treehouse?
I walk up the wooden stairs of the treehouse and reach the top. there was a porch, one big room with 3 windows, a table, and a few chairs. it seemed like a good getaway spot to go with friends. The place was a bit run down, but it could probably be fixed up in a few days or so. I looked around from the top of the treehouse to see if I could see Athena from an elevated view, but I couldn't. All I hope is that my voice will travel further from here.
I rub my throat and take a deep breath, if Athena doesn't come out after this, then it's over; I'll have to go back home; wherever that is. hold onto the wooden column, and I scream; I scream louder than I've ever screamed before. "ATHENA! I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN WHAT I SAID! PLEASE COME BACK HOME!" I feel the yelling all throughout my throat. my voice felt as if it could be disabled at any moment.
I catch a glimpse of silver hair within the tree line. causing me to lean over to get a closer look, Athena had come out of the tree line and into the open fields "ATH-ENA" MY throat protests to function as I intended it to. my voice had turned ghastly, and coarse. But I continued yelling for her, she just walked toward me. avoiding eye contact. I lean further onto the wood of the treehouse before my handhold collapses under my weight.
Before I knew it I was skydiving toward the ground CRASH! I fell on my arm causing me to yelp in pain. Athena runs over to me "OH MY GOD GAEL! ARE YOU OKAY!" Athena screams. She had a face of concern and worry that I had never seen before, she was crying. I had to apologize "Athena, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I tried to get the words out, but my throat wouldn't let me. I start crying "I'm sorry" I cry "I can hear you- I can hear you," Athena says "Please forgive me" my voice was piercing in pain. "It's okay, I'm sorry I threw you're book in a river" Athena cries "I'll take you home" Athena carefully picks me up puts me on her back, and starts walking in a random direction.
"How do you know where to go?" I ask "I can just tell," Athena says wiping her nose with her shoulder "Not an answer," I pout with a sniffle of my own "I use all my senses to help; smell mostly, but I also use references of things I've past. but Right now I'm just following the scent you left behind to get back home." Athena explains
As we walked back home, people would stare at us as we walked wondering what the hell had happened to us to cause us- primarily me, to look like that.
When we got home Mom and Dad nearly spit out their coffee when they saw me covered in dried blood, and dirt, with an unresponsive arm, and a nonfunctioning voice. Me and Athena were both bawling about what had happened.
Mom and Dad quickly brought me to the hospital, while Athena explained what happened. When we reached the doctor I was told that I had a broken right arm and a cracked rib; I got a cast for my arm and was told to regularly put an icepack on my rib and take painkillers if the pain was too much.
On the car ride home, Mom was completely silent, while Dad was going on a rant about how Mom shouldn’t have let us solve our dispute by ourselves.
When we got home Dad grounded us for 3 weeks and angrily marched back to watching TV; staring at us with hawk-like eyes from time to time.
“Athena, Gael, come here I want to talk to you,” Mom said urging us into her room. Oh no, we’re screwed; She’s going to kill us! I hesitantly walk over alongside Athena. Mom puts her hand on my and Athena’s shoulders “You two are family; Never forget that. You’re supposed to help each other; Forgive each other; Protect each other. I never- I mean NEVER want to see you fight like this ever again.” Mom firmly says
Mom looks at me “Gael, If you ever find your sister in danger. I want you to try your hardest to protect her. Even if she’s not in danger and she needs help with something, I want you to help her. If you do anything to ever hurt her, I want you to try your hardest to make amends.” Mom says and looks to Athena, “Athena that goes for you too”
“If family members can’t even rely on each other. Then they can’t be considered a family.”
“I’m sorry” Athena and I both cry.
“I want you two to be considerate of each other’s perspectives; not just each other, but for everyone as well. This will help you be a much more open-minded person and will allow you to understand why the other person says and does what they do.”
“Still, I’m proud of you both” Mom sighs. Both me and Athena were dumbfounded by what she just said. What was there to be proud of? “From what you said on the car ride to the doctor; Your reconciliation was a little more than messy, but you two were able to apologize; Gael, you went as far as to lose your voice and search hours for Athena, and Athena went as far as to carry you through the entire forest; it’s clear you two care for each other” Mom smiles, making us look bashfully to the floor.
“You’re not mad?” Athena cautiously asks, making me shoot a glance of fear at her. YOU'RE GOING TO GET US KILLED! I internally scream “I'm incredibly angry,” Mom clutches her fist.
“WHY DID YOU RUN INTO THE FOREST!? THERE COULD’VE BEEN A BEAR! GAEL WHY DID YOU LEAN ON THE WOOD SO MUCH!? HAVE I NOT TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES NOT TO LEAN ON RAILINGS SO MUCH!?” Oh boy, here it is…
After that, Mom went on an hour-long rant about our stupid decisions.
That night Athena and I decided to sleep together. We were facing the other way. If I were to be considerate of Athena, I would have to try and hang out with her friends like she wanted. “Athena” I try to speak with my ghastly voice “Mhm” she responds “Can I play with you during recess tomorrow?” I ask “Really!?” Athena quickly turns to look at me with radiant blue eyes “Mhm” I grunt in confirmation “I mean of course, but who do you want me to introduce you to first?” she asks with excitement “Liam and Catie seem cool” I bashfully shrug “Alright. we’re playing tag tomorrow; I’ll tell you right now, but me and Liam are the fastest” she gives off a bright grin.
After seeing Athena’s bright smile, I felt guilty about how I had taken that away from her.
After that day. I promised myself that I would be a good family member to Athena; just like Mom wanted.