None of this made any sense. One minute I’d been in what I had to assume was an attack in our training arena, the next I was in what appeared to be a landscape overrun with castles.
I had to be hallucinating. Maybe I’d died and all of this was some sort of afterlife? Or maybe I’d been knocked into a coma and this was a dream. Then there was the possibility that this was a simulation, considering that our nanotech training facility was capable of quite a lot, but I’d never seen it transform into anything like this.
A flock of birds took off from a distant forest. The gentle breeze that followed raised the hairs on the back of my neck. I knelt, hand caressing the rocky ground. It felt different. Somehow more solid. Could this be nanotech? Pebbles rolled at my touch. Soft clusters of moss bent sideways, then sprang upright again, returning to their original position. The nanotech had never held this much detail.
To my left, in the tall grass, something moved. Weaponless, I balled my fists, ready to pounce.
The grass parted and a man sat up with a gasp, eyes wide with fear. With the dark shadows and streaks of soot across his face, it took me a second to realize that he was my brother.
“Mace!” I exclaimed, running to kneel at his side.
His head swiveled from left to right to take in his surroundings, then his gaze settled on me. The fear subsided, giving way to confusion.
“Shit, Reeve… whoa.”
I looked him over, checking for injuries and finding none. “Whoa is an understatement.”
“You good?”
“I’m so not good.” I pulled him up to stand at my side. “I have no clue what all this is. This environment and that voice in the sky.”
A hint of a smile showed from Mace, as if he knew something I didn’t. He leaned forward, voice showing excitement and said, “That was the Elder Wizard, and he said it’s Castle Crawl.”
“Which means what?”
“The Elder Wizard is the game’s narrator.” Mace nodded to the distant landscape. “He helps the castlers, gives strategies on defeating creatures, where to find key-chests, and tons of other invaluable info.”
“What did he mean by Castle Crawl?”
“That’s what this environment is. You’ve seen it before, the medieval fantasy game I play... almost every night. I’ve pretty much mastered it.”
“The nanotech environment turned into that game?”
“Pretty cool, right?” He paused for a long beat, then added, “I just wish I knew how it took over the arena. Did you know that could happen?”
“Not at all.”
My mind was still spinning from what he was saying. Somehow we were in one of the annoying games that he lost himself in way too often. How many times had I warned him that he’d die a virgin if he didn’t pull his face away from the screen? Now it seemed like one of those games could actually be his cause of death. At least if it had transformed into one of my FPS games that I allowed occasional time for with my buddies, I wouldn’t have felt so clueless.
As I racked my brain in search of an explanation, static rippled through the air. Then another voice bellowed from beyond the clouds.
Attention survivors – stay calm and do your best to not get killed by whatever comes at you next.
In juxtaposition to the Elder Wizard, its nasally, monotone nature seemed completely out of place in the medieval setting. It sounded like one of those unscripted announcements at a grocery store asking for a cleanup on aisle four.
You are some of the lucky few who can help turn this situation around.
“What’s going on here?” I demanded, shouting into the sky. “Who are you?”
Uhhh... my name is Doug. I’m an operator in the control tower. The terrorist group, Techacide, has breached the base and released a virus that, among other things, corrupted the arena simulation. But I was able to contain it by forcing it into the code of a game.
“This is Castle Crawl,” Mace cut in. “I can’t believe it’s in the arena. This is so… awesome! I mean, crazy and horrible, but fucking amazing.”
I am also surprised. These results were unexpected. Once I diverted the virus into the game, it shut down several of our security protocols and unleashed an electrical phenomenon that ported the game into the arena and took over the nanotech.
I turned to Mace and shook my head. “Can you believe this?”
Mace scrunched his nose in thought, then shrugged. “I mean, considering what he said, yeah. Makes sense.”
I stared at him in disbelief. “What part of this makes sense?”
“Not in a normal, ‘makes sense,’ kind of way. But come on, a nanotech training facility gets hacked, and a virus converts the environment into Castle Crawl after the electrical... um, pulse, or whatever.”
“This is insane.”
“Insane? Sure. Awesome? Hell yeah.”
How anyone could think having a top-secret military training facility hacked and then being trapped in a medieval fantasy setting with no idea what was coming next could be awesome was beyond comprehensible to me. Would this kid ever have an adult-brain?
I tilted my head back and looked in the direction of the distant voice. “You’re going to undo whatever happened, right? Get the arena back to normal.”
I’m still collecting data on the electrical phenomenon, and the virus, but for now, they are contained within the arena. If we change the environment, it might impact the containment of the virus.
“And if the virus gets out?” I asked, rubbing the back of my neck.
There is a distinct possibility that the goal of the virus is to deploy more of our advanced weapons onto the world.
“Like nukes, or…?”
More like the Gravity Catapult that wreaked havoc on so many of our companions.
“Fuck,” I uttered, remembering all those bodies falling from the sky. I tried to expel the images of people splattering against the ground from my mind. “How do we make sure that doesn’t happen? How do we stop the virus?”
Myself, and several other operators are barricaded in the control tower. Techacide soldiers are advancing on our position, but with enough time, my team should be able to find another way to permanently contain the virus. Or, with the code I already have in place, winning Castle Crawl would also result in stable containment.
“Great.” Mace nodded. “Winning this game is something I can do. Let’s get started.”
“Wrong.” I barked. “We don’t know the extent of what’s going on here. We’ve got to regroup, get out of the arena, then get to that control tower and kill those Techacide fuckers.” Turning to the sky, I added, “Are there other cadets in here?”
Several. Unfortunately, many of them have already been taken prisoner by various adversaries, or by failing challenges within the game.
I turned to Mace. “We need to keep Techacide from breaking into the control tower so Doug’s team can stop the virus and free the cadets.”
It would be nice if you could stop the terrorists from breaking in and killing us. But, you could also attempt to win the crawl, which would also contain the virus and release the prisoners, then you could come save us. Whatever works best for you.
“Reeve, I can win this game,” Mace proclaimed. “We’ve got my skills, the Elder Wizard, and a tower controller to guide us through the whole thing, right Doug?”
Correct on all counts... oh, wait. Techacide just permanently deleted the Elder Wizard narrator. And it appears that they are attempting to cut off all my communications within the arena.
“Can you stop them?” I asked.
Unfortunately not. And they’re monitoring my communications with you, which limits the information I can safely convey via this channel. Regardless, I’m adding new code as we speak aimed at helping you.
“Like what?”
Ways to find allies, other cadets… I’m putting out a message for all to meet at the keep-safe.
“What the hell is that?”
“It’s a room where we can rest,” Mace said. “A safe house, like a castle keep. One that allows for upgrades and whatnot.”
To facilitate easier access, I have integrated additional entrances to the room across the realm. However, I had to conceal these entrances as a protective measure against Techacide’s attempts to delete the code.
“So how are we supposed to find them?” Mace asked.
I’ve marked them with a distinct characteristic, which you can identify by solving the following riddle: Where the rain and sun meet, one of these appears with seven options. To find the new entrances, follow the second.
“What the hell does that mean? It makes absolutely no sense,” I barked. “We don’t have time for this shit.”
Mace nodded. “Okay, I think I’ve got it.”
I pulled my head back. “What do you mean you’ve got it? You already figured out the riddle?”
“It wasn’t that hard. I’ll tell you later, when Techacide isn’t listening.” Mace looked up in the direction of Doug’s voice. “Can you get the Elder Wizard back? We could really use his help right about now.”
Yes. I’m reinstalling the Elder Wizard’s code into a different character. Let’s see... its name is Gloptar, and I’m converting him into a non-deletable narrator as we speak.
“Gloptar, the Realm One end boss!” Mace yelled. “Are you kidding me? That troll is one of the meanest sons a bitches in the game.”
The creature is a formidable villain, but once my code has uploaded, he will be just as helpful as the Elder Wizard and have the ability to speak to you through the same game mechanics I’m using now. Unless of course Techacide succeeds in interrupting the code upload before—
The man’s voice abruptly stopped.
I cast my gaze to the clouds. “Doug? You still there?”
No answer came, only another light gust of wind and the muffled rustling of nearby leaves in the surrounding forest.
Mace shook his head and grimaced. “Shit. I think he got cut off. Do you think his narrator code will finish uploading?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, but we could sure use more answers.”
Amidst the silence, a sharp crackle pierced the air, reverberating in my ears like an intrusive pulse of microphone feedback.
The sound quickly died off, then, following a long pause, a new, gravely voice boomed overhead. Its deep pitch resonated in my chest, like a metal saw cutting through a block of cement.
The insurmountable hate I feel for you burns bright in my blackened soul, but I, Gloptar, am compelled to help you, against every fiber of my being.
Mace released a low laugh. “Hey you piece of shit. Welcome to the party.”
You are the piece of shit, you peach-colored toad rectum.
Mace tilted his head to the side. “Something tells me Doug’s code didn’t fully take. This guy is still an asshole.”
“I did pick up on a subtle undertone of pure hatred for us.”
“Yes, very subtle,” Mace replied with a quick smile. “In the game, when he can catch them, this bastard eats villager’s house pets for breakfast.”
Turning my gaze back toward the clouds, I added, “Since you’re compelled to help, tell us how to get the hell out of here.”
You don’t make demands of me. Now, shut up and listen. There are three realms. The end of each realm is punctuated by a castle with a portal to take you to the next realm. If you don’t make it to one by nightfall, you die. To win the crawl, you must reach the final castle in the last realm. Which you will never do.
Mace’s eyes widened. “When we make it, do we get to actually take the loot of the Prime Sorcerer’s inner sanctum?”
I looked at him like he was nuts. None of this was real! At least… not in the traditional sense. Trying to comprehend what was real versus not real made my head hurt.
Mace grinned at me. “I’m telling you, that would be so amazing.”
Looks like we have a delusional castler who thinks they could be champion, or what we here call “The Ultimate Castler!”
The ultimate…? I scoffed, thinking there had to be a better name than that. Fucking game designers. They probably still lived in their parents’ basements and thought that name sounded badass.
If you already know about the loot, you’re one step closer than many. Get the loot, and you’ve won the game.
“That doesn’t sound like something we want to try,” I barked.
Mace shook his head. “It wouldn’t be easy, not even for me. In the history of Castle Crawl, only a handful of people have ever actually gotten the loot... me being one of them, of course.”
Well, if you think you already possess the skills, you could always choose the portal.
Mace scratched his chin.
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
I turned to him and furrowed my brow. “What’s the portal?”
“It’s a pathway that leads directly to the final castle and the Prime Sorcerer’s inner sanctum. Each team only gets one.”
You do know the rules of this game.
“We can do this, Reeve.” Mace straightened his back. “Techacide could break into the control tower any minute, then release the virus and kill thousands more innocent people. We have to do it.”
“Now is not the time to rush into anything,” I countered. “We barely know what’s happening here. We need to strategize and weigh our options.”
The ugly one known as Reeve isn’t wrong, but neither is the other ugly one, Mace.
I exhaled, trying to gather my thoughts. “What happens if we go through the portal, but can’t defeat the Prime Sorcerer? Is there a way out?”
If you aren’t strong enough, you go to instant prisoner mode, joining your stinky clansmen in the dungeon, to drink rancid water from puddles, feed on rats, and experience the unrelenting joys of explosive dysentery.
“In the game, clansmen are your team members. He must mean the other cadets in our squad,” Mace speculated.
As long as one of your clansmen is free, the game will continue.
An anxious feeling settled in my gut. “What if we all get captured... everyone in our squad?”
The voice laughed.
If everyone in your clan is captured, you die, he dies, everyone dies. Death, death, death, then a little bit of my favorite thing... more death. But, blood makes the grass grow. So when you’re ready, you simply let me know and I’ll create the portal to get you to the final castle. Right into the Prime Sorcerer’s inner sanctum.
“Let me in,” Mace demanded. “I’m ready to fight the Prime Sorcerer. I’ve kicked his ass dozens of times... or, at least one and a half times.”
Excellent decision, putrid-face Mace.
A swirling ball of blue light appeared before us.
My gaze shifted from the glowing object back to Mace. “Absolutely not. You’re not going anywhere.”
Mace took a resolute step toward it, hands in fists, his gaze conveying unwavering determination. Oh, no. I knew that look! It was the same unflinching expression he had worn when he joined the academy against the wishes of me and our two other siblings. None of us thought he was ready, but after he had made up his mind, there were no alternate paths.
Just like then, he was determined.
The ball of light turned into a swirling portal, hovering at waist height. Gazing upon it was like looking at a stained glass window, through which I could make out a stone wall washed in warm orange hues from flickering torches.
A starburst of white sparks erupted around the edges of the portal. Then their light disbursed, leaving only the opening. In the space beyond, the silhouette of a man that I assumed to be the sorcerer, turned in our direction. Behind him, a vast dungeon stretched out into the darkness. Several people bound by thick chains lined the walls. I stared in horror. They were cadets!
You may enter, unless, that is, you’re afraid of not being the man you think you are.
Mace flexed his jaw, then approached the portal. As he did, a look of horror came over his face and he screamed. The image of the sorcerer vanished. Chains shot out from the dungeon wall to clasp around my brother’s wrists and ankles, then yanked him through the portal, and out of sight.
Before I could process what had happened, the light around the portal burst forth again, then closed in and vanished like a dissipating tornado. Next thing I knew, the portal was gone along with any trace of my brother.
“Mace!” I shouted, hand held out to the spot where he’d been only a second before. As the last remnants of the portal light faded, my arm lowered. My brother was… gone.
What. The. Fuck.
I spun, hands out scanning the landscape for any signs of him.
Nothing. He had completely disappeared.
Cold shutters flowed through my chest. I collapsed to my knees, clutching the nape of my neck as I blinked uncontrollably and rocked back and forth.
Finally, I rose, nostrils flaring as a scorching heat replaced the bone-chilling cold that had consumed me and I shouted at the sky, “What the shit-fuck-asshat–AARRGH! Where the hell is my brother?!”
Do you kiss maidens with that potty mouth? I, for one, find that language inappropriate.
“Inappropriate…” My breathing came short and forced, like I had to remind my lungs how to function. Muscles in my back tightened and I pulled in a deep breath. “Just… tell me… what you’ve… done to Mace. Now.”
Honestly, it’s too bad.
“It’s too bad? That’s your answer?”
I’m not trying to answer you. I merely lament that you didn’t go with him and spare me the displeasure of seeing your face, which looks even more disgusting when you’re complaining.
“Fuck you.” This was ridiculous. It couldn’t be real. I had to get out of there, ASAP. “Tell me how to get to the Goddamn exit.”
Since the portal is no longer an option, you must choose a combatant to prove your worthiness before you can begin the quest.
“I’m not doing any quest. Just tell me how to get out of here.”
As your helpful narrator-guide, I have taken the liberty of selecting a gatekeeper opponent for you. To enter the crawl, you need to best this excellent combatant in a battle of brute force and wit... So, you are surely fucked.
Again the earth shook beneath me.
Since I accept gratuities for my helpfulness, I wanted you to know that your brother’s earlier statement was correct.
“What statement?” I yelled, jostling side-to-side. “What are you talking about?”
I do love to eat house pets. Kittens are my favorite. Their flesh is the moistest.
Gloptar laughed and thunderous music echoed out—orchestral sounds with pounding drums that built in ominous and foreshadowing intensity. The music seemed to be coming from all around, as if the entire world was about to be swallowed by it. Drums pounded faster and faster, and triumphant horns erupted with a barrage of deafening notes.
Large, floating letters appeared in the near distance, their red glow reflecting on the rocks below. The text pulsed, as if it was vibrating with excitement. I focused on the information.
Reeve Thompson, unranked castler versus Bridge Troll, Level 10.
What was that supposed to mean?
A horizontally oriented, red bar appeared under my name. Situated at its far left side, a cartoon heart pulsed, along with text that read 100 percent. Underneath the words Bridge Troll, a similar bar materialized, but only for a moment before both bars vanished.
All around me, stone-block walls erupted up through the gravelly soil. Pebbles, and chunks of dirt flew through the air, bouncing in chaos below the height of the extending walls. The forms moved just like the nanotech, but like the rest of the environment, looked hyper-real.
Yellow and green hued lichens covered the course, pitted stones in the new walls. Each rock on their mighty structure bore a unique pattern of chiseled score marks and water glistened in their cevasess. The level of detail in this new nanotech still jarred my grasp on reality.
You only have three chances to enter the castle crawl. Fail... and you die.
A complete castle courtyard had formed around me, dark and ominous. At my twelve o’clock, a swirling cloud erupted, stretching upward, cresting the height of the stone walls. It looked like the nanotech swarm, but somehow different. The particles were even finer.
I almost forgot your castler uniform. The code seems to be corrupt, but I’ll do my best.
The nanotech swarm twisted around me, blinding my vision. I felt a tugging sensation on the lower half of my uniform. The sound of tearing cloth followed. Then, as quickly as it had appeared, the swarm vanished.
The air felt cooler and I immediately realized why. From the waist down, I was naked.
“Hey asshole,” I yelled, cupping my hands around my exposed dong. “Give me back my fucking underwear.”
Another cloud of swirling nanotech formed around me, spinning and twisting in manic pulses. Within the buzzing mass, new pants and shoes began to take shape. The movements of the swarm slowed, then, like a flame being extinguished by a strong breeze, the entire mass dissipated once again.
Purple, medieval tights clung to my legs, and leather, slip-on shoes with long pointed tips had formed around my feet. The tights felt like steel wool rubbing against my junk, and small rocks pushed into the bottom of the thin cork, shoe soles.
I lifted up my foot. “What the hell! Compared to my combat boots, these shoes are as likely to get me killed as they are to help!”
You are welcome. I only wish I could have replaced your armored vest with a ruffle-neck tunic, and adorned your head with a splendid coif.
“I don’t even know what a coif is, asshole.”
Either way, you are as ready as you’ll ever be to meet your doom... I mean meet your gatekeeper opponent.
Before I could protest, more nanotech appeared and took the shape of a huge, hulking figure. Its torso arched forward at a sinister slant, and blocky shapes on its back shot off at random angles. Shadows obscured most of its upper body, but the bulky muscles on its short, stocky legs twitched when it straightened them. Then the beast threw back its head and roared.
No way am I fighting this ugly mother.
Before I could think of a way out, the troll stepped forward and raised an enormous club over its head. It swung the club down like an incensed wood chopper. I dove to my left and the club smashed into the ground, denting the hardened soil and sending shards of the weapon flying off in all directions.
To hell with this. I turned and ran for my life.
The Present
That brings us back to where I left off—the fucking bridge troll with its seemingly endless supply of regenerating toes. The one that wants me dead. And let’s not forget about the club that turned out to be a bridge. The same object the troll held over its head just now, with the intention of flattening my skull.
The troll swung the massive structure forward with the force of a mack truck screaming down a mountain highway.
Think. Move!
I rolled to my right until I hit the block pillar that held the iron gate, then pulled myself behind it.
Smash. Stones from the bridge flew in every direction. Half the pillar crumbled, and a cloud of dust exploded into the air. Small chunks of rock rained from above. I exhaled and spit at the same time to keep debris from going down my throat.
As the dust cleared, I got to my feet and began to sprint down the length of the courtyard. The troll turned and swung the bridge again. In stride, I covered my head and ducked as I tried to keep my footing in these stupid, medieval, slipper-shoes. Every rock I stepped on pushed into the underside of my foot through the bottom of the thin soles. Ignoring that pain, I balled my toes to improve my chances of not accidentally kicking one off and sending it over the wall.
With my quads firing and my arms pumping at my side again, I looked back to assess the troll’s next move. In frustration, the beast slammed what remained of its stone bridge into the ground.
It shattered into several distinct pieces. The troll grunted, then used its leather loincloth to wipe the stone dust off its palm.
Only one chance remains for you to best the gatekeeper. You are about to die and my bowels are vibrating with excitement.
“Shut up!” That guy was really starting to piss me off.
On the troll’s back, the silhouette of the last bridge remained, rimmed with a dim sliver of faint light.
What did that asshole mean when he said only one chance remains?
Wait a minute. The voice had said, “best the gatekeeper.” Maybe defeating the troll didn’t mean killing it! As the thought raced through my mind, the rim of light on the last wooden bridge protruding from the troll’s back began to pulse. Then a glowing line raced around the outline of the object. I wasn’t sure if the glow had been there the whole time, but it was possible that I had mistaken it for the reflection of light before.
Holy shit. I had a feeling that, if I could get up there and cross over the last bridge, I would win.
Was that insane? I was about to find out.
I tilted my head toward the sky and yelled, “It’s the bridge, isn’t it? That’s how I win? Why didn’t you just tell me that earlier, you cat muncher?!”
Let me think. Oh yes, because I want you to die a horrible, miserable, death.
Of course he did.
I stopped moving away from the troll as I wondered how the hell I was going to get across that bridge, hoping my theory was correct. As a first step, the only thing I could think of was that I’d need to get onto its back. That meant I’d need to get to higher ground, then try to jump onto it from there. Damn, that sounded like a terrible plan.
As I searched for something to climb, another, even burlier voice cried out, “Come here and get killed.”
The troll could speak? “I want to crush you between my fingers and feel your guts wash over my palms.”
“This whole time you could talk?” I only backed up one step, trying to stay close while I searched for part of the wall with enough handholds to climb. “Maybe that’s on me for assuming you were a mute, idiot.”
“You only idiot here.” The troll growled and smashed its balled fist into the ground. “You no worthy opponent, and you no deserve cross my bridge.”
“Your grammar is terrible.” I took a deep breath, trying to pump more oxygen into my muscles. “But I’ll give you a pass since I’m assuming English isn’t your first language.”
The troll reared back its head and stared down at me. “Grunting and smashing is the language me use to say how strong and better than you I am.”
“I think I understand the point you’re trying to make. But at the same time, I didn’t follow any of that.”
A stone abutment jutted out from the wall a few steps behind me. I leapt in that direction, then started to climb it. As I reached its top, the troll picked up a boulder-sized chunk of the broken, stone bridge. Then the bastard hurled it at me. I ducked, and the projectile skipped off the wall above my head, grazing the top of my hair.
The troll stepped forward, then bent down to grab another chunk of its broken bridge. “Stone throwing is the language me use to say you die now.”
I had a suspicious feeling that the troll didn’t understand how words really worked.
As the beast bent closer to the ground, its back went horizontal and I lept off the abutment. The leather points of my medieval shoes fluttered. As I spread my legs, the upper part of my tights stretched out between them. I probably looked like a half-purple, flying squirrel with a death wish.
Holy shit. Miraculously, I had landed on the trolls back. I tried to get to my feet, but immediately slipped and began to slide down the enormous creature. For the first time, I saw the creature’s backside, punctuated by its giant ass crack protruding from its loose-fitting loincloth, like a nightmare troll-plumber.
To stop my descent, I lodged my foot into its crack, the tip of my shoe sliding firmly into the deep crevasse.
“Ahh!” the troll grunted. “Don’t touch my holes, puny human. Get off me!”
I yanked my foot out, then used the beast’s bulbous vertebrae as steps. Soon, I found myself directly in front of the last bridge. Now what... do I just run across it?
The troll reached back, flailing its arms in my direction. I threw myself onto the bridge, the short rails on its side shielding me from the beast’s grasp.
That’s when the asshole narrator, Gloptar chimed in again.
You will never make it out of the courtyard to enter the crawl. Give up now. Stick your head into the troll’s ample butt crack and suffocate yourself. It would be a less painful death than having him reach into your mouth and pull your guts out, one handful at a time.
I found myself contemplating both scenarios. Brief images of either demise flashed in my mind. In the first, my face was as purple as my tights, while I held my breath, my head fully enveloped in the troll’s giant crack. The other image was more brutal. My mouth gaped, stretched out to an impossible width and wrapped around the troll’s giant forearm. It wore a wicked smile as it dug for internal organs, ready to rip them out through my face.
What now? Think dammit.
The narrator said ‘you will never make it out of the courtyard.’ The troll, still flailing to reach me, spun to its left. The movement aligned the far end of the bridge with the courtyard wall. If I was supposed to use the bridge to jump out of the courtyard, I had to take a shot. Forcing my feet to move, I took a step, then another, quickly gaining speed as I raced across the bridge.
I came to its far end and jumped. Once again, I found myself soaring high above the ground, hoping that I’d find a way to stick the landing. With a loud thunk, my chest smashed against the squared off stones that comprised the top of the wall. “Arghh.”
I threw my arms forward and grabbed on for dear life. My feet dangled down toward the courtyard and the troll glared up at me with a rageful expression.
“You no get out!” The beast clenched its fists and a thick vein popped out on the side of its forehead. “You no beat me.”
From the amount of sheer rage in its voice, I could tell I was doing the right thing. The troll charged toward me, bent its knees, then jumped with outstretched arms. I pulled my legs up, crunching my knees against my chest. The beast’s gnarled claws barely missed the bottom of my shoes.
I needed to move.
With the finesse of a drunken toddler escaping his crib, I swung my leg onto the top of the wall, then without looking, flung myself over its edge. Wind rushed by my face, slapping my cheeks as I plummeted through the air, tumbling end over end... awaiting the sting of impact.