The Auctioneer was the God from the pavilion. He stepped onto the raised platform in the center of the chamber and unveiled the first item.

"Our first item today is Ice Breath Spring Water collected from the source itself. They say Axis, the Wyrm of the Ice Plane, is trapped in a constant state of death, in the Shadow Realm. From his eternal breath pours the river Tretia, which has medicinal properties. A sip from the Spring can heal all injuries and extend the lifespan by a hundred years."

Def rolled his eyes. "Who care about living forever? Life miserable as is."

"Bidding starts at ten thousand gold," the God said.

Def's eyes were about to pop out of his skull. "ten thou..."

Troma's eyes were narrowed into thin slits.

"Axis is dead?" Ain asked.

Senon shrugged.

"Twenty thousand from 49! Do we have a thirty thousand? Thirty thousand!"

Def could not believe what he was hearing. "Def never in his entire life see a measly one thousand gold. But this Dragon piss snake-oil selling for entire cost of happy life."

Ain was shocked. Not because of the going price of the Ice Breath Spring Water, though. "Also, what is the Shadow Realm?"

The group looked at him. "What Master mean 'what is the Shadow Realm'? Master live under a rock?" Def asked.

"Troma hate dark places. Troma have agoraphobia," Troma said.

"Agora--" Def ran his palm across his gnarly face. "Forget it."

"I heard that dead Gods made the Shadow Realm," Senon explained. "Apparently, their corpses are the Shadow Realm."

Ain scoffed. "That is ridiculous."

Senon shrugged. "The Realmbreakers head into the Shadow Realm to fight against the Undying. Or so I heard. There must be some truth to what they're saying."

"Forty thousand going once! Going twice. Sold!"

There was a cheer from the crowd. Apparently, the teapot won the item.

This deeply troubled Ain. Not the teapot winning the Spring Water, but the idea of the Shadow Realm. "That is not possible."

"Master know better than anyone what possible," Def said. "But fact remain. Shadow Realm exist. Dead God whisper to all who visit. Seduce into dark side."

Troma shivered at the mention of dark. "Master not thinking of going there? Bad place. Troma and Def go once... Once."

"If Troma not cry like baby, Def steal more than one worthless item. Haaa, Def think he get rich. Walk all the way to God Tomb and steal stupid, worthless junk."

Ain looked at Def. "What did you steal?"

Def lifted up the chain around his neck and produced an amulet. It looked like black glass, but the color was deeper than black. Stars glimmered within the endless darkness.

"A seal?" Ain blinked.

"Master recognize it?" Def asked. "Is it worth something?"

Ain's eyes widened. A shiver ran through his spine. "It is priceless," Ain said. "It is used to suppress something and hide it from the Radix."

Suddenly, Ain remembered that day, long ago, when he was before the Pillars. They told him that when the time was right, he would know what he had to do... but could it be?

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"The next item is this beautiful sword, Ataraxia. No one knows its origin, or..."

"You always try to sell us that junk! Next item, please!"

"It is just an ordinary sword!"

"... its true value..." the God trailed off. "Bidding starts at one thousand gold."

Silence.

Ain chuckled. "For once, that is the real deal. That is an enlightened sword, with a living spirit inside it."

Senon withdrew a bag from her sleeve, and opened it. She glanced inside and smiled. She raised her hand.

The God saw her and his eyes twinkled. "One thousand! Do we have two thousand?"

"Wife rich? Why wife not say so!" Def rubbed his greedy, little hands together.

Senon scoffed.

"Five thousand!" Someone called out. The voice came from the Demon section.

Senon's nostrils flared cutely. "Ten thousand!" she called out.

Commotion broke out among the ranks of the gathered. Maybe it wasn't a useless sword after all?

The God was overjoyed. "Ten thousand... fifte-- twenty thousand!"

"Thirty thousand!" someone called out.

Senon was pissed. "Fifty thousand!" she called out, angrily.

A shocked gasp ran through the crowd. They were convinced now. That sword was a treasure. No one would be stupid enough to bid fifty thousand on a useless item.

"Eighty thousand!" a sharp voice rose from the Demon section.

"One hundred thousand," followed immediately, from the Fae.

"One fifty!"

"Two hundred!"

Senon's jaw hit the floor, figuratively speaking.

Ain chuckled. "You want it that much?"

Senon nodded.

Ain smirked. "Don't say I don't treat you well..."

Ain raised his hand. "Five hundred thousand."

The God blinked.

"Master? This no time to impress wife. We literally have no money. We poorer than prostitute in Temple of Virtue."

Troma nodded, adding his expert opinion on the state of their finances via that simple gesture.

"Six hundred thousand!" Someone called out.

Def sighed in relief.

"One million," Ain called out.

Def threw himself at Ain, trying to force his raised hand down. "What Master doing? Def swear if he fall into more debt Def commit murder-suicide."

"Troma also commit hate-crime. Troma no want to sell more organs on black market."

"One million... going once? Twice?" the God could not believe he sold the sword that no one ever wanted. For one million. It was ludicrous.

"Sold!"

A demon materialized in front of them, bringing the sword, wrapped in cloth, to Ain's seat. "We will collect the money after the auction. Congratulations on your victory."

The demon stepped back and disappeared.

Senon was blushing so much, she was all but luminous.

Ain smiled, unwrapping the sword. Up close, it looked even more beautiful. It had an elegant, sleek shape. It was of a bright, cyan color through and through, with the blade itself approaching the brilliant whiteness of a diamond - just as sharp too. The hilt was wrapped in pale blue string, etched with snowflake motifs.

"Hello, Ataraxia," Ain whispered to the sword. "It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

Ain lovingly stroked the side of the blade, and each touch caused the sword to sing with a crystal clear tone, like wind-chimes or the sound of bursting snowflakes.

"I know. I miss him too," Ain said. "Take care of my friend, all right? You won't be alone anymore."

The sword sung happily. Even Eternal Suffering chirped.

Ain handed the sword to Senon.

Senon was shocked. Not just that Ain would spend one million gold - which he didn't have - but that he spoke to a sword with such a gentle tone. This was not the Ain she saw - it was a side of him that was completely mysterious to her.

Even the goblins, seeing Ain treat a worthless, inanimate object like that, had to respect it. But they also hated it even more. "One million gold!? Master lost mind. We are screwed."

The rest of the auction went smoothly, but uneventfully. Ain was stewing in the animosity of the goblin's, and Senon's affection. If he was a dish, he'd probably be best served cold, considering the ingredients.

As the patrons prepared to leave, the God raised his voice. "Actually, there is one more item that is not on the list. Consider it a surprise item."

There was a long pause.

"It is a secret Method practiced by the Princes and Princesses of the Spirit Court. It is a paired Method, meaning that it is best practiced in a pair of individuals... who trust each other immensely."

Def cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow at Ain.

Senon blushed. "You know... things like this?"

The teapot, in the section next to theirs, started steaming. Its excited whistle brought all the wrong kinds of attention to it and its... shapely entourage.

"It is best practiced naked. Of course," the God explained.

Def rolled his eyes. Senon laughed softly.

"It is best practiced by those who can see the flow of magic, or possess some form of Magic Sight."

A pause.

"Oh yeah, it is a Heavenly Count level method."

"What!?" a surprised shout rang through the chamber.

The teapot, in particular, was screaming.

"Bidding starts at..."

"One million!" Someone shouted from the Spirit section.

"Really, Master? Make love, not war?" Def sighed. "At least we not go into debt."

"Again," Troma added.

Senon smiled. "If my Lord Ain ever considers practicing paired Methods..."

Ain swallowed, his smile warping. Of all the things, he did not foresee this little detail. He wondered for all of half a second why a Pride Demon would be interested in paired Methods, but it took only one glance at the enamored Senon to understand.

"Heh," Def smirked. "Master shrewd businessman, but Master also screwed now."

Troma nodded. "Wife expensive. Def knows better than anyone."